Symbols Abound in Futtara Doshaburi
Overthinking things is my bread and butter, and this show is a feast. There's something to be said in that both Kaori and Fujisawa have touched and cared for Sei's feet at this point.
Feet are an interesting symbol. In many cultures, feet are considered dirty. To care for someone's feet is considered a sign of hospitality, respect, and even caregiving.
But even if feet are the "lowest" body part, they play an essential role. Feet take you where you want to go. For now, the feet are coming home.
We take our toenails for granted, until they get broken. And then it's incredibly painful.
For a long time, Sei was ok in this relationship. But now he's not. The relationship is broken. But just like his toenail, his plan had been to just accept it and keep on walking. It's painful, but he'll deal.
But Hagiwara won't let Sei ignore it. He keeps asking personal questions. He questions Sei about his relationship. He questions Sei about his foot. He's forcing Sei to pay attention to and deal with the broken toenail. Hagiwara openly admits (to Sei) that he wants more from his own relationship. He verbalizes his incredulity at Sei's situation.
He openly states that Sei's situation is unlikely to change.
Hagiwara doesn't let Sei brush it aside. He keeps asking questions, telling Sei that it'll hurt him more if he lets it go, and pushing Sei to take action.
And now we have both Kaori and Fujisawa paying attention to, touching, and washing Sei's foot. Foot washing carries a lot of symbolism - of respect, of care, of sacrifice. All of the things that Fujisawa used to provide for Sei. But Sei got that help from someone else this time. He's no longer needing Fujisawa to care for him.
Kaori notices that Sei is pain. She's working on repairing the nail, but Sei still thinks she's cruel.
Yes, he's thinking about Hagiwara. But it parallels his relationship as well. Fujisawa KNOWS Sei is in pain. He KNOWS Sei is unhappy.
It's why Fujisawa keeps changing the conversation. It's why he buys the TV. He's trying to keep the nail/relationship from breaking further.
There's something to be said in that while Kaori is repairing the nail, she's also disinfecting it. The disinfectant gets mentioned by both Kaori and Fujisawa.
With all of the "libido is a swamp" references, it's not too far-fetched to read into this act. While Kaori and Fujisawa both care for their partners, they're both sanitizing their relationships. It stings.
But Sei doesn't want or need to be sanitized. His desires are beautiful.
Which brings our current conflict in full view. The characters don't just want different things out of their relationships, they need different things. And everyone knows it.
Which makes me wonder about Fujisawa's comment to Sei to "not even think about meeting up" with the mystery penpal.
Is it jealousy? An argument could be made.
Is it possessiveness? A need to control Sei? There's a lot of evidence for that too.
Or is it that Fujisawa is also feeling the pain of this broken nail? That's he's worried just like Sei about what will happen if he pushes on it.
If it's no longer painful, what does that mean?
After all, he knows why Sei fell in love with him.
He knows that Sei no longer needs a spokesperson.
He knows that what Sei needs now, he can't give.
So is Fujisawa trying to control Sei? Or is he terrified of what this all means? Knowing full well what would happen to his life and relationship if someone else started meeting Sei's needs.
It's not an unwarranted fear. The feet are now moving away from home.
(Edit: The proofreading of this post got delayed thanks to a sick kid and the sheer number of shows that drop on Sunday. In that time, @respectthepetty made this excellent post about Fujisawa squeezing the toenail. It's a great read. Highly recommend.)
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