one step at a time

[do-not-u-dare]

Im always scared to call someone my friend because what if they dont consider me a friend and hate me because of that

[mild-cherry-pepci-deactivated20]

Dormant conversations with friends scare me. A lot.

[madison-vanorn-the-nightguard-d]

Same here, sometimes i feel like i annoy people, and they just dont want to talk to me…

[bi-nightmare]

Yeah… I feel exactly the same.

[whatsuprubberduck]

Me: *want my friends and family know I am not ok and let them help me because going through chronic illness is frightening*

Me: *doesn’t want friends and family to know I am not ok and won’t let them help me because going through chronic illness is not as frightening as being judged*

[ibdammed]

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE

[actualbpd]

im kind of getting sick of having a breakdown and then being 100% fine a half hour later, leaving all my friends exhausted

[lulabellexo]

therapist: So what do you want from life?

me: Idk man, I just want to be happy and healthy, active and thin, loved and in a good job or w/e, mayb have some friends, not be in debilitating pain…

my multiple disorders: 

[traumatizedyke]

me: *is completely alone, has no actual friends, is irrelevant to everyone in general* minimalism

[stayburned-deactivated20150128]

it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks 

[mad-but-magick]

Making a Mental Health Emergency Plan

During a particularly rough episode a couple years ago, my social worker recommended I️ make an emergency plan. The example she had was pretty basic, and didn’t exactly fit my needs at the time, so- being my obsessive little self- I️ did a ridiculous amount of research and made up my own method. A few friends have found it helpful as well, so I️ figured I’d put it out there for anyone who might need it.

On a notecard or piece of paper, and/or in the notes app on phone, write down-

Personal Info (name, DOB, address, phone #)

Crisis Line #s

Doctor/Therapist contact info

Emergency Contacts (parents, spouse, friend, church, etc.)

Medication Information

What you need to do to make your environment safe (lock up or get rid of any self-harming tools, etc.)

3 “distractions” (a craft or hobby, favorite music, new video game, etc.)

3 safe places outside the home (movie theater, favorite restaurant, local park, etc.)

If you’re using a notecard, keep it somewhere accessible (wallet, usually).

Put everything you need for “distractions”, a little spare cash for if you need to leave the house, and a couple comfort items (comfiest hoodie, favorite incense, etc.) in a specific place- a drawer, or shoebox under the bed, for example- so you always know exactly where they are if you need them.

Hope this helps! If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to drop me a message! 🖤

[diseased-me]

My friend: what're you smiling about ;)

Me: nothing

My head: tutant meenage neetle teetles

[diseased-me]

“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I’ve tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am. So I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.”

— Steven Aitchison (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[quietfluffywolf-deactivated2019]

Shoutout to all the people i thought were my friends but then they randomly stopped talking to me forever

[moonfairychild]

Mostly I don’t mind being single and having no friends. But than again there are days where I would like having someone to talk to and someone to cuddle.

[thelifeivegot]

Don't you just love it when your "friends" constantly hang out without you?

[impotsiblelife]

Chronically ill young adult problems #6

You have to watch your friends gain the independence that you want but can’t have. Watching them learn how to drive, go away to college, and earn their own money is hard. 

[aristoteliancomplacency]

One of the weirder things about chronic illnesses, and especially mental or ‘invisible’ illnesses, is that on the one hand you worry that you’re a burden to your friends and family and that you’ll either push them away or just tire them out from having to care about/for you, and on the other you worry on the slightest provocation (seeing someone else with a chronic illness who seems to be suffering more than you, or just having a day that’s slightly less sucky than normal) that you’re actually a fraud, or faking it, that you’re not really ill, etc.

Which puts you in the bizarre position of simultaneously trying to reassure friends and family that you’re okay really, and trying reassure yourself that you’re *not*.

[spoonsforminutes]

Me: I’m scared to live alone because I have this fear that I won’t be able to take care of myself.

Friends, Family, and Strangers: ???? What are you talking about? You’re an adult! You have to learn to take care of yourself eventually! Stop being lazy!

Me, a disabled individual: *looks at my history of debilitating chronic pain and depression* Yeah, you say that like it’s so easy.

[sainteangel]

soo sadly parts of her monologue will always stick with me