sideblawg

discourse sideblog for me to post my random shit that i dont want on my main :D

[transand]

“why are trans women excluded from this women’s space while trans men are welcomed with open arms???”

you look inside and the trans men and transmascs being “welcomed with open arms” are being misgendered, abused, pushed towards detransitioning, and the ones that are seen as too masculine to be treated as women-lite are being kicked out of the space the same as trans women

i’m just so fucking tired yall. you can talk about bad things happening to trans women without assuming the opposite must be true for trans men, you know that right?

[transand]

the like to reblog ratio on this post tells you everything you need to know about how scared people are to openly support trans men/mascs due to the absolutely rampant transandrophobia on this website btw

[testosterone-tuesday]

To be entirely honest, I do not think the discomfort some people feel being around masculine presenting butches, transmascs, and trans men is purely a lingering trauma from cis men that they cannot help. While I think it certainly can be, or can contribute- I believe this line of thinking often functions as an excuse to refuse examining that what many are actually uncomfortable with here is gender nonconformity.

[diskhorsed]

Would like to make a quick post since my blog is getting some attention 💕

Trans women are women, and transmisogyny is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

Trans men are men, and transandrophobia is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

Nonbinary people are real, and exorsexism is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

Intersex people are real, and intersexism is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

I will never, ever deny someone the right to define their own oppression through terms they think fit best. If there is something on my blog that is genuinely transmisogynistic, exorsexist, or intersexist, please do not hesitate to tell me. Transandrophobia deniers will be ignored.

On that note, I'd love to make more mutuals with transfeminists who accept the reality of transandrophobia, and learn more about transfeminism from people I know see my value in the community.

[diskhorsed]

@baeddel-voruna you first!

[zoloftiloveyou]

It's really hard to explain that trans men experience their own form of systematic oppression to people who don't believe trans men experience a lot of the same things cis women do.

[zoloftiloveyou]

There are trans men in religious fundamentalist houses, There are trans men forced to wear hijab, there are trans men in Mormon communities, there are trans men in the global south, there are trans men being trafficked, there are trans men who will die never being seen as a man.

Everywhere there are trans men. If you can't see them you're not looking.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

There's something especially sinister and revolting about the claim that trans men and transmascs who were AFAB who talk about transandrophobia are just "referring to misogyny"

Like, these guys were raised as "girls" they were raised to be "women", they were perceived as such (and sometimes still are), they were (and yes, sometimes still are) subjected to misogyny All. The. Time.

Do you *really* think they don't know what misogyny is? Do you really think they're just "too stupid" to properly identity a form of oppression that they were previously subjected to weekly growing up?

Maybe, juuuust maybe, we should listen to them when they say "This isn't just misogyny"?

[doberbutts]

“trans men don’t experience misogyny because they’re men thus cannot experience women’s oppression”

I hate to tell you this but even cis men experience misogyny if they step a toe over the line of what our incredibly sexist society sees as “proper” for a man. You really don’t think that a man with interests or expression the world sees as “female” aren’t treated with violence?

[doberbutts]

“would you say that of other privileged groups? do you think white people experience racism?”

I mean sometimes they do yeah. I know a white guy with monolid eyes and zero known Asian ancestors and he absolutely experiences anti-Asian racism on a fairly regular basis because people think he’s mixed Asian/white. I know a woman who was told throughout her life that she was Native as an adoptee with no known history or background who experienced incredibly violent amounts of anti-Native racism until she discovered as an adult through DNA test that she is 100% white. I know white people who tan incredibly dark in the summer comparatively that are constantly accused of being mixed race and experiencing racism due to that, usually anti-Mexican racism perpetrated against white people with Greek or Italian ancestors.

Their ability to make it stop by saying “hey, I’m white actually” only goes as far as the person enacting violence on them is willing to believe them. They still have to live with the trauma and physical scars from the altercations. We live in a racist world and thus there will be violent people who force all others to pass a whiteness test and eliminating or harming the rest.

[doberbutts]

Got an ask that I just block/deleted but it was basically “so you think cis people experience transphobia!?!?!?!?” and uh

If you think cis butches don’t experience both transphobia and misogyny and homophobia for daring to be women who break gender roles while still holding onto their womanhood you’ve sorely misunderstood just how bad butches have it in this world sorry. If you don’t think cis queens experience transphobia and homophobia and misogyny for daring to be men who break gender roles while being loud and proud about it and still holding onto their manhood then you’ve sorely mistaken just how bad they have it in this world as well.

Not to mention all of the cis men who wear dresses and skirts and makeup and nail polish and heels simply because they like them who experience all of these things. All of the cis straight women who simply just exist but something about them doesn’t pass society’s “woman enough” test, leading to them being caught in bathroom bills and sporting rules and being attacked by people who mistake them for being transgender or gay.

Just like how straight people experience homophobia to such a degree that they literally beat their children out of any potential deviance from rigidly upheld gender roles and let politicians make jokes on national TV about how they’d drown their pre-teen kids if they came out as LGBT. Do you really think a straight kid still figuring themselves out hears that and doesn’t internalize that homophobia? Doesn’t rigidly hold themselves to some impossible standard so that no one could ever possibly think they’re gay? You don’t think straight teenage boys who maybe don’t pass some bully’s straightness test are getting the shit kicked out of them for “being gay” when, surprise, they aren’t? You don’t think all those kids being attacked by their priests and coaches and teachers are being told “this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t gay” when they’re literally not gay? Do you know how many straight kids had close calls at my school that famously expels all gay kids, because someone made up a believable enough rumor? Do you know how many of them still got their shit kicked in even though administration ultimately decided to let them stay?

All bigotry is violent and all bigotry catches people it doesn’t “intend” to and hurts them as well. It doesn’t matter what someone’s label is, or if they even have one. It matters if the person enacting the violence is doing it because their victim didn’t pass whatever “acceptable enough” test they didn’t know they were being subjected to.

Everyone is at risk. Oppression doesn’t care what your label is. Some people are more visible targets than others, and as a result those people are the more common targets. That doesn’t mean no one else experiences it.

[doberbutts]

My first post to reach 2k without people clowning in the notes I feel so proud

[sophie-baybey]

[queernobi]

I think a lot of y'all need to learn the difference between structural oppression and simply experiencing certain aspects of that oppression. Like, genuinely.

Like if I as a white person got really tan, to the point that people thought I might actually have brown skin, and then had a bunch of other white people call me the n word repeatedly based on that…that would still be fundamentally different than calling a Black person the same thing. Like, not even a little bit close. Even if by some freak accident some chemical in the tanning solution made me permanently dark-skinned and forced me to experience even a good chunk of the sort of structural pressures Black people experience everyday, I would still be able to point to ancestry and accumulated white social and actual capital to protect myself from the worst of it. “Whiteness” and race as concepts may not be tangibly real, but structures have been built and maintained to ensure that everyone is forced to accept them as if they are real. Currency may not really be “real,” but that doesn’t suddenly mean I can go to the bar with Monopoly money and buy the whole place out.

A white person experiencing certain aspects/consequences of structural racism does not suddenly mean you can be racist against white people*. A cis woman being stopped outside the bathroom because someone thought she was a trans/nonbinary woman is not the same as a trans/nonbinary woman experiencing the same. And while I think the question of whether or not transmasculine people experience misogyny is extremely myopic (as are most answers to that question), I wish more transmascs like me would start to consider the idea that a lot of the issues (though not all of them) we experience that we may be tempted to call misogyny might actually just be transphobia and anti-transmasculinity. Moreover, I wish generally people had an understanding of patriarchy where it was less “man vs. woman” and more “man vs. non-man,” where trans men–yes, even the most manly, straight, passing trans men you might know–will never fully be accepted as men broadly, simply because they are trans.

*There is a larger discussion to be had about how whiteness is defined differently outside of the U.S., and so a person who might be seen as “white” here may not be seen as such elsewhere, but considering most of the people reblogging this aren’t even able understand structural oppression broadly, I really don’t think y'all are ready for THAT conversation.

[doberbutts]

White guy tries to tell black guy how oppression works, more news at 10.

[queernobi]

Yeah, I guess that has to be the case, when you think that a white person having monolids experiencing anti-Asian sentiment is the same as actual anti-Asian racism. 🤷🏻

[doberbutts]

So when my ex gets beaten up and called racial slurs for Chinese people, he is not experiencing sinophobia. Gotcha. Thank you, white guy, for telling me how racism works 👍

I think you may need to tell that to the Sikhs killed due to Islamophobia, since white Americans can’t tell the difference.

This is a conversation about intersectionality.

[queernobi]

I’ve gotten my ass kicked because someone thought I was disabled. That doesn’t suddenly make me disabled.

And it should be telling to you that anti-Sikhism has its own section and is, notably, not under Islamophobia, despite them being related and generally based on anti-Middle Eastern/Arabic sentiment. The comparison is also not 1:1 given we are talking about groups that are made to directly benefit these oppressive forces being compared to ones that are directly harmed by them vs. two religious groups that have been marginalized and racialized in the U.S. based on misunderstandings of both.

[doberbutts]

It’s funny you say that, because it doesn’t make you disabled, but it does make you affected by ableism. Don’t believe me? Ask the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

My ex being injured by racists who thought he was mixed Chinese does not make him Chinese. That’s not at all within the text of this post so it’s a weird thing to argue. But it does make him affected by sinophobia, because it was the hatred of China and Chinese people that caused this problem. Bigotry comes from the bigot, not from the identity. Again, don’t believe me? Ask the US DOJ.

Read that again. Actual- or perceived- protected demographic. By definition, my ex experienced several anti-Asian hate crimes. So did my friend who turned out to not be Native. So did I when people more commonly mistook me for latina. That is the actual federal wording.

I’m not hiding behind my race or the argument of intersectionality. I am saying that you, a white person, are attempting to incorrectly explain how oppression works to me, a black person, who is using the actual definitions of what these words mean and how they are treated within political theory off of social media, because you are using a dramatically incorrect and incomplete view of the theory you’re trying to explain.

This is like. Really basic black theory knowledge. Really basic sociology theory. Even really basic feminist theory. If you are in the US, this is very literally how it works and how it’s defined. This is an intersectional conversation where thinga don’t quite fit into neatly sorted boxes.

Sikhs have long held an acknowledgement that some of the shit they go through is not even “supposed” to be directed at them. And a lot of Muslims have acknowledged the same, whether it’s in a wiki article or not.

It’s also weird that you’re so resistant to acknowledging that we have so much more in common than we don’t, and that things aren’t always so clear cut and easy to label. Someone experiencing oppression that’s not “for them” does not make them incapable of enacting that same oppression onto someone else, someone whose identity more fits the concept, or even someone just like them as a precautionary. Hell, someone experiencing oppression that DOES fit the label doesn’t even mean they can’t enact it on others- or did you miss that there are cis women on the Supreme Court that gleefully voted away reproductive rights? Did you miss the black politicians who happily buddy up to racists if that means they’ll get elected again? Did you forget that people like Kanye West and Caitlyn Jenner exist?

Learn to share. Learn to see yourself in your fellow human being. You might be surprised what you find there.

[tboy-cock]

hey yall know that reclaiming slurs doesnt mean using the slurs against people as slurs right? like when normal people say "reclaiming slurs" what we mean is taking away the power of the slurs by using them for yourself or your loved ones who reclaim it so when youre called a slur your brain goes to "oh, all my friends!" and it doesnt sting so bad, we're not saying to just call people slurs because youre a bigot whos hiding behind your identity

[tboy-cock]

to the multiple people saying "the r slur cant be reclaimed like queer slurs can" i just want you to know that you're right. however that is like The slur that every "progressive" edgelord wants the free pass to use as a slur/"reclaim" because they dont respect disabled people

[diskhorsed]

Also you (not op, using the royal you) do not get to decide to reclaim the r-slur just for being neurodivergent. The r-slur was very specifically used to target people with intellectual disabilities. The main target of this bigotry has made it clear very many times that they do not want to reclaim the r-slur, nor can anyone else do it on their behalf. If i see one more "im autistic i can say the r-slur!" Im gonna start biting people.

[diskhorsed]

heres an interesting, and imo fun watch for anyone who'd like to see some transmasc perspectives

[casual-haterism]

ive been thinking about the meme of garfield that goes "you dont hate mondays you hate capitalism" and editing it to "you dont hate masculinity/men you hate the patriarchy" but one im afraid that might be #toowoke for this audience and two i can just imagine all of the annoying people in the comments who will gladly brag about how the whole point flew over their heads and how basic their understanding of feminism is

[solarprominence]

I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up

[callahan----callahan-again]

I LOVE TRANS FEMS AND TRANS WOMEN!!!!!! and also I LOVE TRANS MASCS AND TRANS MEN!!!!!!! and also I LOVE ALL TRANS FOLKS OUTSIDE THE BINARY!!!!!!! and also I LOVE ALL TRANS AND CIS FOLKS WITH SEX CHARACTERISTICS OUTSIDE OF THE SEX BINARY!!!!! I LOVE ALL OF MY GENDERQUEER AND INTERSEX BROTHERS SIBLINGS SISTERS COUSINS ELDERS MOTHERS FATHERS PARENTS FRIENDS AND ENEMIES!!!!!

[professional-lamprey]

I think people hear hyperinvisibility and assume that means nothing is done to trans men and mascs but what it actually means is our voices are violently suppressed and any info about us is as well, it's not a privilege to be stabbed and forced to not scream in pain or have our screams ignored by "allies"

[tboy-cock]

hyperinvisiblity and the erasure of trans men and transmascs is a deliberate effort to silence us, often through violent means

[learn-how-to-love]

The petition to the FDA regarding transfems on E is a huge deal and absolutely needs to be stopped but. Why haven’t I seen anyone mention that a list of transmascs on T already exists because it’s a controlled substance…

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

PDMPs can provide health authorities timely information for a targeted response to drug overdose.

trans men are already banned from sports as well, and have been for over 40 years

[transmanrageroom]

epidemic of self hating trans men currently… “i don’t care if people call me girl or queen because it’s more important to not misgender women then to not misgender men” “one thing trans men should do is take up less space” “we objectively face less oppression and have privilege over both trans and cis women” “you can misgender me as a joke it’s okay” “yeah it really is such a shame that i’m a man now haha” “we don’t actually need transmasc support groups” pleaseee get up dude stop trying to be One Of The Good Ones

[that-grassbro]

Dear all western trans guys:

Please DO be that 'obnoxious' guy who brings up non-western trans men whenever other westerners start talking about issues of transphobia and misogyny like we don't exist.

A lot of the time, the risks for us bringing it up ourselves is much greater than that of a fellow westerner. Or we may not even be invited to the table to be able to say anything. We genuinely do need others to speak for us.

They might call you 'obnoxious' or 'reaching' but in times like that please remember that we are not a rhetorical tool

Trans men in the global south are REAL PEOPLE. Bringing us up is never 'strawmanning' or 'missing the point' or any other stupid ass excuse because we are not an imaginary 'other'.

It is always a good idea to bring up global southern trans men. And DO NOT let them make you feel guilty about it

<3

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Just a note, if you ever try to use me as a "is this who you want in women's bathrooms" gotcha, I am blocking your ass. Especially when it's on one of my trans joy selfies and you're openly courting an argument with transphobes. I'm the one who has to read all the resulting bullshit.

Please stop fantasizing about scenarios in which trans men make cis women uncomfortable, when it's the trans man who ultimately suffers. Your fantasy will IRL end up with the assault and likely arrest of the trans man. This is already happening when trans guys try to comply with new bathroom laws.

All you're doing is reinforcing that there is a certain "look" required for being in gendered spaces (congrats for throwing butches under the bus, btw).

And if you're fantasizing about trans men in the women's bathroom, are you also putting trans women in the men's room to further invoke cis discomfort? When trans women's risk of assault in any bathroom is already sky-high?

All while the transphobes don't want trans people in *any* bathroom. Or anywhere else in public.

I am so tired of this argument, because among the "allies" in my life, me passing so well has made them lazy and complacent about pushing back against the bathroom stuff.

"Oh, you'll be fine with these new bounty laws, no one will ever suspect if you keep using the men's room."

Again, throwing non-conforming people and people who aren't acceptably cis-passing under the bus. As well as not understanding that I pass until I suddenly don't (like what has happened in Kansas to trans people's documentation).

All this when you could instead be promoting better bathroom setups to begin with (fully enclosed stalls, etc.). Or, you know, trying to move beyond gender essentialism.

So, please knock it off.