#baeddel

[mocha-marshmellow]

I genuinely hate when someone sees a trans woman speak on transfeminism and transmisogyny and their reaction is "we should all just be making out and fucking" on this g-d forsaken site

Actually, no. I want you to listen to the critiques of me and my sisters. I want you to listen to our complaints, not treat us like sex dolls and potential fucks

[learn-how-to-love]

Any time someone chimes in on an anti-transandrophobia post referring to Baeddels accusing the OP of intersexism and transmisogyny I see it as a sign of ignorance. I don’t expect everyone to know of every hate group on the planet but if you’re going to be commenting on posts about transandrophobia you should at least do your research to know that Baeddels were a hate group self-identifying as an intersexist slur the vast majority of them could not reclaim on this very website. It’s not a term that means “any transfem who talks about transmisogyny” and anyone who says otherwise is either woefully ignorant or purposefully obfuscating the actual history of anti-transmasculine hate groups in order to discredit transmascs speaking on their experiences.

[trans-masked]

It’s so funny that so many trfs “misandrist” larps are based in hate for trans men specifically like no one’s talking about cis guys or talking about a bomb that kills all cis guys. Somehow, for a reason apparently no one can discern, it’s all distinctly misogyny flavored hatred of trans mascs. I don’t think it’s particularly misandrist to call trans guys theyfabs, cuntboys, pooners, hysterical, bitches, vagina-brained, fujos, etc etc it actually kind of seems like all of these insults have a distinctly misogynistic bent to them right? Not to mention how it seems all these “kill all tmes” exclusively target ftms, afab nonbinary people, and queer women while claiming that cis men could be TMA eggs or that all male childhood is inherently transmisogynizing (which you should remember is a thousand times worse than regular misogyny)

[crunchbuttsteak]

Remember, if you want to fearmonger about evil trans women, then it’s okay to use the term “baeddel” to refer to them.

If a trans woman wants to reclaim the term you are actively calling her, then that’s not okay because baeddel has only ever been a term for intersex people and that nobody has ever it in anger against a trans woman ever obviously.

[thisis-intersexism]

"Hehe I'm such a b*eddel! B*eddel moment! B*eddel b*eddel b*eddel!" Perisex baby u can't say thattttt that's not ur slur to reclaim

This is intersexism.

[baeddel-txt]

[waepenwifestre]

So, I'm a big fan of what I'm gonna call "the baeddel move" of shifting from trans women being women because of identifying as such and those being defined into inclusion as targets of misogyny etc at the level of identity to being like, "no but literally we've been hyper-targeted for (sexual) harassment since well before transitioning this shit is material and experiential.

But I do think it's important to note that this kind of camab-camab hell dynamic isn't confined to people who will go on to develop a trans identity. Like it's easy to say that other people realized you were a faggot before you did, that they sniffed you out, etc. As if you had the essence of faggotry within yourself, others identified it / it caused you to be faggot socialized, and then you eventually came to identify it.

But as an anti-essentialist it's important to say that human souls don't come in discrete types. (How could they when they don't exist?)

There are people cast deep into the faggot category who don't reject manhood (or even heterosexuality) and people who aren't particularly marked as faggots who transition. But this isn't to say that being marked and being trans aren't deeply related.

To sketch a rough model, I'd say that hierarchic masculinity --the kind at play in high pressure social environments like most schools, sports teams, etc-- is animated by a tension between the unattainable ideals of masculinity and each individual who is measured against them. One's masculinity is always "insecure" because there is always a gap and others can try and pry that gap wide open. *Everyone* gets called a faggot.

But if everyone is included in this, they're included in wildly different ways. From sometimes being marked, to feeling the fear that you might become marked, from feeling solidly unmarked but like if your inner fantasies were known you'd be marked, to being marked with unerring consistency. For some this is contained to the realm of anxiety and for some it is violently material. And whatever their positions, individuals choose from dozens of strategies for navigating this shit.

Transfem identity is deeply wrapped up in these positions and these questions of strategy. I'm not gonna take issue with people having their narrative of how they were never really "one of the boys." (Girls especially would constantly talk about how I didn't count as a boy). To borrow from classic queer theory, when you exceptionalize and essentialize faggotry you give credence to the lie that there are people who are actually men and not-faggots.

And, on the political if not the individual level, I don't think we should ignore the tactic of tearing the gaps between ideal masculinity and its supposed instatiations wide open. It worked great for me!

(NB I think something along these lines is probably way closer to a good model for cis-misogyny than the idea of a force equally acting on all cis women like none of this is trying to say transfem experience is wildly different from cis misogyny models of cis misogyny just also need a lot of work and fixing them isn't near the top of my priorities list rn)

[heseemstobeeatingsomething]

according to trfs, trans men are the most privileged gender because they have AFAB privilege and also male privilege and can switch depending on what's convenient. that's why trans men run academia, control the media, have soooo much power in government, and are constantly conspiring to ruin the trans community from the inside, pretending to be marginalized people while holding a secret dual loyalty to TERFs. and they do this because they're jealous of superior transfem culture which they can't contribute to only corrupt and pervert.