pulvis et umbra sumus

we are but dust and shadow Jacob Wheeler ♚ 32 ♚ Disintegration

[battle--scarred-blog1]

"Dunno…" Kris says quietly and shrugs her shoulders as she looks down at Misty while her scarred hands continuing to pet her. "Just figured you might have something else to ask aside from if I was connected with De-youknowwho." Not every day that Jay or frankly anyone from those times suddenly drop in on your life. Was there some strange connection in these reappearances, were these just the warnings before the shit hit the fan? Kris wasn’t sure and it was that uncertainty that was killing her right now on top of everything else in her head. 

At his question, his sort of roundabout offer to join the Rebellion, Kris isn’t honestly sure how to answer. That old part of her, the part of her that was always driven to help people silently urges her to go. To go and help break people out that might be in the same situation she was in because that’s nothing she wants for anyone ever. To go and take out her anger and hurt on the people that hurt her in turn and maybe find some sick sort of twisted peace there. But there’s nothing really inside of her that’s jumping at the opportunity. Maybe she’s just too tired after three years of torment followed by three years in limbo. Maybe she’s just too scared and afraid that she’ll just get taken in and locked up again. Or maybe she’s afraid of the thought that drove her away from The Rebellion in the first place: that the Rebellion would do the same thing to her that DeSilva did, just in the name of a different cause. 

Her body tenses and she winces slightly as the phantom pains start to grow stronger and it’s growing more difficult for Kris to breathe. Reflexively, Kris’s arms move so she can wrap them around her torso tightly in some feeble attempt to suppress the pain. A pathetic attempt to physically hold herself together. She knows that in reality, her old wounds weren’t slowly being ripped open, that blades and bullets really weren’t slicing into her and penetrating her body but she doesn’t know how to shut it off. All she knows is how to keep her face calm when the hurt starts. Though she’s not exactly sure what Jay’s seeing right now. "Don’t think you’d guys want me with you… I’m damaged goods, ya know." 

[disxntegrate]

There are no expectations tied to the question, and it's only a real offer if she'd like it to be. There's only one person he's ever pushed the matter on, and that's because he knows him well enough not to take no for an answer. The woman in front of him doesn't fall under that category. He doubts she's content when the only answer she can give him is that she's alive, but discontent is her choice as much as it is his, and he won't fight her on it.

Though the comment she does offer him has him lifting an eyebrow. As though damage is a reason not to fight, or not to want to. He's always found it's the opposite, and perhaps it's the honesty in his answer that keeps the smile from his lips. "We're all damaged goods. Otherwise we wouldn't be doing this."

He takes another sip from his coffee before he pushes himself to his feet, but he doesn't try to close the distance. It was the only other question he had, and he can assume that's his answer. Besides, there's still a dog in between the two of them, and it's more trouble than it's worth to try and change that. "You have Cole's number if you change your mind. If you don't, it was nice seeing you again. Try to take care of yourself."

[battle--scarred-blog1]

At his apology, Kris just shrugs. Really he wasn’t disturbing much because most days she’s not sure if she’s really found peace here what with the noise in her head and thinking that someone was always watching her. It was just that now, in the last month or so all her paranoid thoughts and all those scenarios she ran in her mind were starting to come true. 

It was a quiet three years, but the quiet had to end at some point. It was nice while it lasted. She just wished that she could have actually enjoyed it, but that’s just how hindsight worked. Like a fucking bitch.

"Don’t sweat it." Kris says quietly as she glances down at her dog, and pets her head. Almost immediately, Misty scoots closer to her and gently rests her heavy head atop Kris’s leg like she always did when Kris’s mood started to go south. When he tells her that his friend is okay she lets out a sigh of relief. "Good." she doesn’t know what happened, but so long as it meant that at least one more person got away from DeSilva goons, then that was more than enough for her. She just hopes that they don’t come back for round two. 

"Do… do you got anymore questions for me, Jay…?" she asks quietly, lifting her gaze up from her dog and him again because she can’t imagine that the question about her still being with DeSilva would be the only question on his mind. 

[disxntegrate]

There's a nod of his head, but he doesn't apologize again. He's offered them and anything more than that would be insincere, because he thought it was a fair assumption to make. Knowing what little he did about her, he thought the question necessary, so he wouldn't make more apologies than he already had. And if she's lying, she's a good one, if there's more here that he can't see, then he doesn't know that pressing the issue with her is a good way to try and figure it out. She's not the enemy here. She's just tied to some kind of game he can't see the whole of yet.

The question has him lifting an eyebrow, watching her for a moment with some curiosity why she's asking. If she wants him gone that quickly, or if she's waiting for something specific from him. And he wonders again what she thought he was doing here, what question she expected from him when he showed up at the table across from her. "Should I?" he asks, and if the question sounds cagey it's because it is.

He gives her a moment to answer, lifting his coffee to his lips while his gaze sweeps the street past her for a moment. He didn't come here alone, but it doesn't mean he wants to be caught out here in the open like this. It's always a risk, more of one now.

"Nothing pressing," he says after a moment. "Unless you've changed your mind about joining us?"

[battle--scarred-blog1]

 Shit, they were fucking here. If she was paranoid before then she can only imagine what this was going to do to her head now. Jay’s always had this certain calmness about him so the slight change in his mood is definitely noticeable. But the anger and paranoia Kris feels towards him fades and makes way for sympathy when Jay tells her that a friend of his had corporation goons sent after him because that’s nothing she wants for anyone. Still, another one of Jay’s connections was here in this very city and leaves Kris thinking she picked the wrong city to hide out in to avoid her past.

"Well," she starts, her voice a bit gentler now as she looked down at the job application in front of her, "I’m not connected and I didn’t send anyone after anyone… I’m just…" Just a girl trying to put myself back together. But the last part she doesn’t dare say out loud. “I’m just a girl with her dog, looking for a new job…” she says with a sigh before she reaches for her cup of coffee. It’s a painfully banal answer, but after everything that happened to her, Kris would kill to be just that. 

As she down the cup’s contents there’s a part of her that wishes it were a beer instead, but with the threat of DeSilva now back and more present than ever, she had to have all her faculties about her at all times. So much for going out for drinks with Cole at some point. They took away everything about her normal life back  then and now when she was starting to get tiniest semblance of that again, they took that away too. ”What happened to your friend? They okay?” she asks quietly. 

[disxntegrate]

The answer has his lips pressing together, and whatever emotion colored his tone fading just as quickly. He's not prone to outbursts, and it's as much because he needs to remain firmly in control as because of that persistent sense of empathy. That it's not her fault, and he believes her when she didn't have anything to do with it. Despite his own distrust for anything resembling coincidence, it might be the only option he's left with. If not a happy one.

"I understand. And I'm sorry for disturbing that." The words are sincere, because it wasn't why he came here. And if he's shattered some peace she'd found with what he just told her, he doesn't know if it could be helped. It leaves little room for disappointment that she has no answers for him, not when the ones she has for him have been depressing at best.

But he keeps any offers of help to himself, because it's not his place. She chose freedom, from both the compound and what the rebellion offered her. And he won't go out of his way to alter that decision.

Though he's almost surprised by the question, if it's self-serving in nature or if she genuinely cares about the answer. He doesn't express it, if anything he just gives a small nod, something like reassurance to accompany the words. "He's fine. Resilient."

[battle--scarred-blog1]

When he tells her that he just has a question for her it does a little bit to calm her, but not by much. All she does is nods and waits for him to ask his question. Was he gonna try and recruit her? Not sure what she’d say to that. Was he gonna drill her for information? Not much she could do there since she lived her life in relative peace til lately. And Rebellion or not she wasn’t gong to say jack shit about Lincoln being here if Jay didn’t know about him. They may not had known each other well, but she and Lincoln were on the same page. They were in the same facility and tortured and experimented on again and again and agin unit there was virtually nothing left of her and it left Lincoln a broken mess that was more animal than man in the end. Kris doesn’t know much about his current life right now, but if just wants to hide and find some semblance of ‘okay’ she’ll do everything in her power keep him hidden and out of sight. 

The question that leaves Jay’s lips is not one that Kris expects in the slightest and the surprise is written clear as day on her face before it morphs into something resembling horror and offense. Was she still connected? Really? Her? Connected to them? “No.” she says simply. “The only connection I had to them was the fact that they took me and kept me. That’s it. You really think that I’d still want to be connected to them after they took away everything from me and after what they did to me?” she asks, her scars on her body aching now more than ever as the memories flooded her mind.

The day she broke out she fought like an animal along side the Rebellion, but she used up what little strength in her reserves to do so after having recently going through a heavy duty conditioning session had left her heavily wounded. By the time she took her first steps on the outside, she had blacked out and when she came to she was strapped to table as people tended to her. And what was the first thing she did? She panicked and fought, thinking that she didn’t escape and she was back on the inside again. She doesn’t remember much afterwards, but she was pretty sure they had to sedate her and those that were looking after her were all left wondering what had happened to her in there. DeSilva treated her like an animal, a weapon, and killed Darci and left Kris a hollow shell of a person.

[disxntegrate]

Jay watches her face when he asks, not batting an eye because her expression will tell him more than words every could. And he thinks he has his answer before the sharp 'no' ever leaves her lips. The surprise could mean anything, simply that it's the last thing she expected from him. It's that look of horror that tells him enough, though if anything it just leaves him wondering how all the pieces fit. If she's not working with them, he doesn't know where that leaves her.

He's not a man who's quick on the defense, and generally speaking he'll take hits if it makes someone feel better. This doesn't feel like one, and he can understand the offense, but he's not sorry for the question. And it leaves something more protective rising in its wake, the thought that he didn't intrude on her life simply because of proximity. If it scares her, maybe he'll be sorry for that.

"I thought it possible. They sent people after a very close friend of mine. One who happened to live here." And it's a purposeful thing that he leaves it in past tense, because regardless of whether or not she knows who that friend is, he won't do anything to compromise Eli now. Especially when he's struggling to stand up, let alone defend himself.

He takes a breath, something to calm himself because he's not quick to express emotion. And if he showed any here, it has less to do with any genuine thought that she's involved and more to do with what they did. Though if she's not on their side, he wonders if she's on their radar. If they already know she's here, or if she knows how close she settled to one of their facilities. "It's a perfectly legitimate question."

[battle--scarred-blog1]

Jay disagrees with her, but Kris doesn’t feel like arguing it further. She just shrugs as if to say ‘Whatever you say’ because to her it was the same thing to her and if Jay doesn’t get it… well, not like he can see into her head. And even he could that’s not some place she’s want him or anyone else to be. 

He probably doesn’t mean it to, but the relaxed manner and the smile on his face on his face only serves to make Kris even more nervous and puts her on edge. And the words that follow send those nerves through the roof. Her brow furrows and she fights the urge to crush the coffee cup in her hand as her brow furrows in confusion. “You had me followed?” Kris repeats the words slowly as they slowly sink in, her voice low even though there was no one really in the immediate area. He had her followed and Kris never even fucking noticed it? What the shit? Who was tailing her? Was it Cole? That would make the most sense since she’s seen him the most, but it not him then who?

If she didn’t notice one of Jay’s people following her then who knows else knew she was here? Was the corporation was just lurking around the corner with another black bag ready to snatch her up and take her back? When she got back to her place would she get taken again like she did six years ago? What it be like for her when they put her back in cell? What would they do to her? What would they do to someone like her that disobeyed and escaped? The thought is enough to make the scars that are hidden away beneath the layers of clothes she got on ache painfully. “What do you want, Jay?” Kris asks as she reaches for her dog and pats her head, seeking some way to ground herself. 

[disxntegrate]

If he generally prided himself on having a certain way with people, an air that was good at putting them at ease, he thinks he's failing spectacularly at it now. It's nothing he takes to heart, but it finally has the smile fading, though the look of polite neutrality doesn't. He takes a sip of his coffee before settling it back down against the table. "Try to relax. It's nothing I plan on making a habit of." Though it goes unspoken that her answer could easily change that, that if she's a threat to him or his then this conversation will get considerably less polite, and it's not an outcome he wants.

The thought bothers him, that he's sitting two tables away from someone like him, and they might be an enemy. They're not supposed to be. It's not supposed to be how this works. The Bureau is the threat, and if there are vigilantes and rogue sects out there, none of them directly combat him. Event he bomber Frost is looking for isn't on the other side of the line from him, just taking it to an extreme he won't. "You have the right to your freedom and I'm not here to make any demands. Just a question."

There's the brief thought that it might help if he told her why he was asking, that the question alone might spook her. But right now he doesn't know if he should trust her, because he can't see all the pieces. And that bothers him to no small degree because it speaks of elements out of his control. "Are you still connected to the DeSilva corporation?"

[battle--scarred-blog1]

Kris just shrugs when he calls her out on the slight technicality. “Same thing really.” It’s true enough. After three years of conditioning, training, near death situations, and torture she was alive, she was breathing, but that was it. She was just under the bar of ‘alright’ most days and compared to what people thought as okay, Kris’s bar was set pretty damn low.

 Other days she was worse off, dealing with the makings of PTSD that she couldn’t ever dream of seeking treatment or help for what with how secretive she had keep everything about herself. It wasn’t really living. It was just getting by. Like Kris was stuck in some sort strange limbo while she waited for time to come and she’d finally kick the bucket. Depressing as hell, but that’s how it was. The fact that she’s still standing is a testament to her strength and resilience but she’s not exactly sure how much that means with everything. 

"Yeah, kinda figured that Cole told ya," she said as she took a sip of her coffee, her gaze not leaving him as she does so. The comment about him wanting to visit old friends makes her wonder who he’s talking about? Did he find Lincoln before he found her or something? "Well then.. uh… hi…?" Kris says, her voice. It’s a pathetic sort of attempt at being funny, but a lot of her social skills were rusty after three years of imprisonment and three years of isolation. The awkward expression melts away and makes way for a more serious one in the next moment, "Aside from Cole telling you…How did you find me?" she asks because with the way he had been sitting there, it was like he was fucking waiting for her at that’s enough to make her nervous. 

[disxntegrate]

"It's not." The words are calm, and they're not a question. It's not the same thing, and if she thinks that he thinks she's probably a long ways away from fine. It has his expression softening, because regardless how he might be viewed, empathy is one of his strongest traits. And it's sad to think that freedom hasn't been any kind of blessing on her, just a new kind of cage.

It has him briefly wondering what she'd say if he offered that hand again, a chance to get into the fight on the other side of the line. To take it out on those who hurt her instead of living with it. Maybe not healthy, but it might be the most he can offer. He doesn't voice it, because while it's sympathy he offers and not pity, she might not want either of those from him.

The question keeps the smile on his face, though maybe it shouldn't. It's probably not a comfortable thing, but it's funnier to him because most people don't ask. These days the simple fact that he's Jay Wheeler seems to be enough, and he wonders what it says about both of them that she questions. And maybe that's why he answers her honestly, instead of with some cagey response. Not that he thinks it's particularly comforting. "Had you followed." It's blunt, but it leaves him thinking it might be easier to get straight to it this time. "Though now that we're here, maybe you could answer a question for me."

[battle--scarred-blog1]

Maybe it’s because Misty loves her owner, maybe it’s because Kris trained her well and maybe it’s because Misty’s been around to see Kris’s mood shifts behind closed doors, but the second that Kris spots Jay, the dog is able to pick up on her master’s mood change. The Rottweiler’s large head perks up and looks at the man her master is staring at and instantly her large frame stiffens and the dog plants it self firmly between the two even though they’re sitting at separate tables and stares the man down.

For three years Kris was left in peace. No one from the Rebellion came to check up on her, no one from the Corporation had tracked her down and tried to take back their precious little weapon and asset, she just vanished into nothing. And while Kris was still very much paranoid and waiting for the day to come with everything would go up shit creek, there was the smallest part that thought that she had done it. That she had escaped and she was free- as free as someone like her could get. But now in the past few months people from her past were popping up every which way and it leaves her with a number of question in her mind to intermingle with rest of the demons that lurk up there. 

With the casual air about Jay, she can’t help but wonder if he tracked her here and how. First guess she had to take was that Cole told him that she was in the city. She doesn’t see why he wouldn’t seeing as the two worked together, but it does raise the question how in the hell did he find her here of all places at some run down donut and coffee shop way off the beaten path of what people normally associated with Vegas. And that just makes her wonder: was she really that easy to find? If Jay could find her that easily then who else could? Was it time to start running?

"Still alive and breathing," she replies because that’s the most she can really make of her new ‘life’ here. Nothing of real significance happened until recently. "What about you? You here on business?" she asks, keeping things vague lest anyone was around listening. 

[disxntegrate]

There's some amusement in the thought that dogs always know cat people when they see them, the animal planting itself firmly between him and her owner. He watches her for a moment with no change in expression before his gaze shifts back to Darci, or Kris now, and he wonders which she prefers.

"That's more of a what you are than a how you are, but fair enough." And whether she chooses to respond to that or not, he thinks it's telling in its own right. It's not good, not bad, maybe just better than she was before and not much else. He thinks that's the safest assumption, and it's enough to almost make him sad. He wants better for her. For all of his kind, and there's a certain solidarity there with anyone holding a mutation in their bloodstream. Some thought that they are less than second class citizens just by virtue of their DNA.

His fingers curl around the coffee cup, letting the warmth seep through his palms as he studies her. And the momentary satisfaction he felt at that surprise on her face is replaced by the thought that he hasn't done her any favors here. She declined to join them, and he doesn't begrudge her that decision. She's entitled to live whatever kind of life she wants, and if nothing else that's exactly what he fights for.

"Yes and no." The answer's calm and it's vague, both of which describe him easily. Because he's aware it's a politeness, but even if it's not he doesn't have a more descriptive answer for her. "I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd come visit some old friends. Cole told me you were in the area so I thought I'd say hello."

[jane-kynes]

Jay’s hand are soft, almost surprisingly so. And there’s a certain warmth radiating through his palms that she thinks has less to do with body heat and more to do with compassion. He’s a good man. Not a dumb man. Just a good one. And she won’t argue with his help anymore. Her palms still sting, a violent shade of red marring her skin and any relief she can find is eagerly accepted.

"It’s not ideal," Jane agrees with a confidence to her tone as though she knows exactly what she’s talking about, "But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good idea. Where else would he go?" She sounds flabbergasted at the notion they could house Eli somewhere else that would be more helpful. And that has to do with Eileen, a strong mama bear that would set Eli right, whether he wanted her to or not. And while she’d threaten him with punishments if he relapses, she’d spend time sitting on the floor with him and calmly telling him everyone makes mistakes. She always provides tough love, but she knows how to be soft too.

[disxntegrate]

There's a small, fleeting smile at the words, but it's brevity has more to do with the marks on her arms than anything else. Maybe nothing serious, but still extensive enough. And while there's empathy there for a mutant who's still learning control, there's a frustration he can't control that stems from the red marks on Jane's arms.

"Essentially my thought process." If the question is rhetorical he still finds it eases some of the anxiety that he's intruding on her surrogate mother's home. Some affirmation that he's not the only one that wants the man back on his feet, even if he can't say it's entirely for his benefit. Most of it, or at least he'd like to believe as much, but Eli's death brought with it a sense of isolation he never shook.

"Is it selfish that I just want my friend back?" He doesn't look at her when he says it, and he doesn't know that he expects an answer. Motivations change little this time, and it's enough that maybe the man will land on his feet this time.

[the-ben-frost-blog]

"Of course he didn’t," Frost says and if there’s an endearing tone in his voice, it’s nothing he really means. He thinks that should have been the first thing Eli should have told the man in front of him. Just exactly how he knew the corporation. He looks back down at his hands and he thinks about two bodies that are buried somewhere out in the desert. They may mean nothing to Eli, but they still meant something to him because he couldn’t say for certain they had deserved it. Just that they were ordered to do something that got them killed. Soldiers. The thought makes it all easier in the long run. They were all just soldiers. 

He nods at the idea of a woman around her who knew more about the company. Not the same who’d erased his memory and most of his investigation. Although, he’s still a little bit leery of looking into it more right now. There’s enough on his plate, enough enemies in his own backyard that he thinks pissing off DeSilva might not be the greatest idea at this time. He could use it later. All this information. These contacts. 

For a long moment, he sits there and he just thinks back on their last conversation and the way it’d gone. His eyes rise to meet the man’s and the words are coming because he’s not sure if he’ll have another time to say them. You never know in this world. “You do good work, Jay. Don’t know how often you hear that, but you do.” 

[disxntegrate]

There's a small smirk at the words, but he doesn't see the point in defending Eli on this one. His concept of what was relevant was skewed half the time, but he never doubts his intentions. Maybe he doesn't want the best for himself, but even with years in between them and an empty grave with his name on it, the loyalty's still there.

The words leave him momentarily still, uncertain how to respond to them. It sounds vaguely like last words, but he doesn't call him on it. And he doesn't argue them either, though it seems arrogant to simply say he knows. Not good enough some days, but he's not sorry for what he does and if he didn't believe he helped more than he hurt than he couldn't live with everything he's done in the name of some better future. The only point he's set to argue is that it has all that much to do with him. Because he's not alone in the fight, and if he was he doesn't think they'd be this far.

"Thank you," he tells him, because in the end it seems like the only gracious thing to say. Whatever doubts he has, they aren't for his ears and they don't play into the conversation now. But he offers him the same in return, even if it involves some assumption on his part. "So do you."

[jane-kynes]

"I make no promises," she states plainly with a stubborn nod of her head, but it’s a simple joke. Saluting would feel odd in front of Jay. For while she views him as some sort of superior, someone she takes directives from, it doesn’t change that he’s also a human being. Perhaps more advanced than most of the population, but still a human. He’s someone she respects and admires. Someone she genuinely likes and it would be like running around and saluting Eileen. Ridiculous.

Nodding her head slowly, Jane casts a quick smile in Jay’s direction, still grateful they had gotten the girl out at all. “Glad to hear it,” she states a bit more formally than she had meant. She might sound slightly detached because of it, but that’s far from the case. She’d been grateful Jay asked her to join the team, and thrilled with the outcome. Perhaps it’s a simple matter of not knowing them all that well that makes her tone sound so distant.

Jane holds out her arms at Jay’s question, displaying the red tint to the inside of her forearms. The woman’s body temperature had been astounding and how she hadn’t set her clothing on fire the woman couldn’t say. Perhaps she had wanted to hurt Jane, and the thought hadn’t crossed her mind until this moment.

"You brought Eli here," Jane states plainly, little admonishment in her voice because she isn’t angry about the decision. But she had been surprised when Eileen told her. But it keeps Jane busy. She finds herself more frequently under this roof to babysit him when Eileen can’t.

[disxntegrate]

There's a nod of his head, a small smile in response before one hand shifts to her elbow and the other gathers more of the salve. "Thank you for helping with that." And whether the tone means it was only a politeness that she asked, it doesn't bother him much. She was still there, still helped, and the gratitude he offers in response is sincere.

The next words don't necessarily surprise him, because he assumed she knew by now, likely the first one Eileen told. But his hands hesitate for a moment, uncertain how to answer her. If it's a simple statement of fact, a subtle prying, a distaste for the man or his presence. For once he doesn't know the answer, and he doesn't want to make any assumptions when it comes to her.

But he won't apologize either, because it had seemed the best solution at the time. That there were few who could stand up to Eli Gray on a good day, let alone one where he's ready to rip through his friends and himself just for a fix. Eileen was more than capable. Probably Jane too, though he didn't like the thought that she'd have to. But he can't promise himself as a constant presence, and right now he's aware that's what the man needs.

It's the answer he settles on, quieter than he means for it to be. "He needs help." Though whether that's good enough motivation to bring a junkie to a house full of children, he doesn't know. It has him shaking his head in the next moment, fingers grasping her elbow to hold her arm steady while he gets his hands moving again.  "I know it's not ideal. It just seemed like a good idea at the time."

[battle--scarred-blog1]

Kris lets out a heavy sigh as she stares at the job application in front of her, her face passive and blank as she taps her pen against the plastic table. This was probably going to be the fifth application she’s filled out so far. The most Kris could hope for was that she could fill out a few more today in person and some online when she went back to home, but not a whole lot of people were looking to hire after the holidays.

Losing a job was probably a normal roadblock that showed up in every person’s life long enough to put them in the dumps, but Kris couldn’t help let it weigh down on her a bit more. Ever since she was broken out and walked away from the Rebellion and somewhat settled down into a ‘normal’ life, that book store was her safe place. A place where she could find some form of peace and quiet when the demons in her head got too loud. And when the quiet got too much for her, there was always work to be done and silly little joke books she could bury herself in until someone needed her. And now that was gone. And all because she happened to be the one to lock up when they were robbed. 

She’s idly thinking of the new contact she’s got in her cellphone. Thinking of maybe calling up Cole, see how he’s doing and take him up on his offer to go grab a beer with him. God knows that she needs one, even if she doesn’t drink to get drunk of even overly tipsy anymore. Kris’s seconds away from reaching for her phone, when suddenly some across from her asks about her dog. She looks up, ready to respond, but the second she sees the face sitting at the other table, her eyes widen ever so slightly and the pen she’s been idly tapping stills. She had gotten used to Cole’s presence and him suddenly showing up a bit more frequently in her life which didn’t have many familiar faces in it, but suddenly seeing Jay’s familiar face makes her stomach drop. Though she should have expected much, Jay and Cole worked in the Rebellion together. If Cole was here that meant he wasn’t far behind. Still… first Cole, then Lincoln, and Jay? What the hell was happening here in this city? 

The question goes right over her head and all she can bring herself to say is. “Holy fucking shit…”

[disxntegrate]

The reaction lends a trace of genuine amusement to the curve of his lips, unable to keep himself from finding some satisfaction that he is rarely what anyone expects. There's an awareness that his face has been on news reports, that he's regarded equal parts revolutionary and terrorist. But at his core he prefers quieter things, and some days it's still odd to him. Still, whether that's the reason for her shock or not, his expression doesn't change much beyond that small spark.

"Interesting choice," he says, with usual polite humor. And whether she suspects that she's the reason he's sitting here now or not, he's not one to play his hand early.

It's hard to gauge just by looking at her how much healing has taken place, if any. He's well aware the kind of affect captivity within the compound's walls can have on a person, not always for the better. If he's the exception to that, he thinks he's not the rule, and there's no arrogance or overconfidence in the thought. Just a self-awareness that stems from too much contemplation. But there exists the thought now that there's another factor to the woman in front of him, one he overlooked at the time because it hadn't occurred to him that it was relevant. Some greater game that ties her to a company he knows too little about.

It's followed by some small suspicion that she might never have broken ties with them at all, and there's a protective sort of anger in his gut at the thought that she or anyone went after Eli Gray. It matters less if the man did something to preempt it. He's the closest he ever had to a brother.

None of those question leave his lips, simply a shifting forward to rest his elbows on the table, and if it weren't for the dog he'd move closer. "How've you been?"

[jane-kynes]

The corners of Jane’s lips quirk into a soft, genuine smile as her gaze falters from scrutinizing Jay’s face to simply watching him gently smear the burn cream on her injuries. In a few days she’d be fine, not a mark on her to prove she held a burning woman to her chest. Just the memory that some people just don’t want to be helped. And if that woman couldn’t accept it, then Jane can now.

"Yes, sir," Jane states coyly, her voice holding a natural gravel in it that Eileen used to complain made her always sound sarcastic. The trouble had been, she usually was. It had always come easier to her to mock and joke with any of the kids living under this roof than to be entirely honest with them. And while most of the kids who grew up around her knew very little about her own life, she had known everything about theirs. She’s still a big sister to these kids.

Jane clears her throat to change the subject, as if the conversation needed a physically shift before she opened her mouth. And considering she couldn’t move her arms, since Jay’s working on them, she resorts to straightening her spine to right herself into a person more familiar. “Cole and his daughter okay?”

[disxntegrate]

"Just don't start saluting." There's a slight widening of his smile at the words, a shake of his head to brush off the title, even if he doesn't take it all that seriously. Mostly because he'd prefer not to. 'Just Jay' is a common phrase on his tongue, and to some degree it's a purposeful thing. His opposition has soldiers with 'agent' in front of their names, something more oppressive than just a man, no different from the people he's standing next to.

But while she's harder to read than most, he thinks it's a fair assumption that it's sarcasm, and it matters less when she stops fighting him on it either way. It keeps his attention on her hands, thumb mapping out the lines of her palm as gently as he can.

If the question surprises him, he doesn't show it, just doing his best to shift gears with her. "They're safe. I think 'okay' is a work in progress, but they're adjusting." And if there's a trace of amusement in his tone it's not for a lack of concern. Only an understanding what kind of man Cole is, and how well he's probably dealing with fatherhood being thrust back on him. If he's partially to blame for the reunion he won't apologize, and he won't interfere more than necessary. "Anywhere else?"

[jane-kynes]

Jane’s lips part in thought as she inhales air past her tongue like she just might have an answer for Jay, a good one. But the truth is that she doesn’t. She hadn’t been able to make out features, or if he carried a badge or not. Just a similar dark coat on a man with dark hair that had either been heading the same direction they’d been or had been stalking them. She couldn’t say for sure. She didn’t risk it. Not with some newbie unable to handle her ability.

"I couldn’t be sure," Jane admits, almost sheepishly because she’s slightly embarrassed she hadn’t dug up more on the person following them, "Civilian clothes. Dark hair. Not much of a tell for an agent if he was one."

At the request for her other hand, Jane displays it without question, eyes scanning Jay for some sort of evidence as to why he’s being so helpful. Of course, he’s a nice man. He’d always been polite and respectful with her. But she doesn’t need the babying, even if this doesn’t feel like it.

"Think I’m missing the point here," she remarks with a small smile, eyes narrowed as she glances around the room like the answer to her confusion is written upon the walls. But the comment, along with the smile, is to clear the strange tension in the air and to hopefully loosen the noose around her neck that feels like she’s disappointed him somehow.

[disxntegrate]

There's a nod of his head, no real disappointment there because it's more what he expected. If anything there's still just that concern, even with the thought that it could be nothing. Small incidents happen all the time, and most of them go unnoticed because there are still plenty of people that haven't adjusted to the idea of mutants living right next door to them. And while he has no intentions of simply depending on that much, she's here now with no one banging down the door.

"Fair enough." Chances are he'll make a call regardless, but he turns his attention to the hand she offers out to him. If it bothers him more that it's her, the thought's easily explained away by some sense of responsibility that he carries with him, the idea that if she's one of Eileen's, she's one of his. And she has a life here, family, friends. Things he'd feel bad about her losing.

There's no hesitation to his motions, but while there's no ulterior motive to him smoothing burn cream across her palms, there is the thought that it's been a while since he touched anyone's skin this long without pulling away. It leaves it an almost unfamiliar thing.

It's more the way she says the next words than what she says that has a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Though he doesn't have a good answer for her, regardless of whether or not it's a question. "The point is I want to. Let me be helpful."

[battle--scarred-blog1]

"Alright, thanks." Kris calls back as clearly as she muster, what with the piece of paper delicately placed between her lips. In one hand she’s got a cup of piping hot coffee and in the other she’s got a plastic cup of water. With both of her hands tied up, it leaves her to awkwardly push the door open with her hip. The second she steps outside the little, well not-so-little, Rottweiler who had been patiently waiting, tied to a nearby table perks up at the sight of Kris.

"Heya girl," comes Kris’s muffled voice from behind the paper in her mouth. "Gotcha some water…" she says as she puts her coffee cup down and settles in the rickety plastic table. Kris holds the water cup out for her dog. The second the cup is offered, Misty eagerly gets up and goes for the water cup and in less than a minute the contents of the large water cup are gone- most of it being on her dog’s face.

Kris affectionately musses with her dog’s fur before she settles into the cheap plastic chair and takes a long swig of the coffee she just purchase. This place looked shifty as all get out and the donuts weren’t even that good, but they had great coffee that never let her down. And after a night filled with nothing but nightmares, she was going to be needing it. At least that’s the thought she had in her head as she dug a pen out of her purse and stared down at the blank job application in front of her. 

[disxntegrate]

If to some degree Jay felt he'd worn out his welcome in Vegas, there was a thought accompanying it that it had been a beneficial venture in more ways than one. Most of it personal, and if that was selfish of him than he allowed himself so little that he felt little guilt for it. Cole's daughter free, a blow struck against the Bureau, Eli alive if not quite kicking again yet. A Bureau agent on his side.

It wasn't what kept him in the city, but it was enough that he didn't second guess himself too much by still being here. But it was the conversation he'd had with said Bureau agent that had brought him here, for a number of reasons. Because he didn't believe in coincidence, because someone had come after Elijah and there was nothing to say they wouldn't do it again. Because Cole had told him that she lived here now and it didn't cost him anything to say hello.

He sat a table away from her, a coffee already in his hand and the same casual air he always maintained. Far enough away to give them both space. And if part of it was because the dog tied to hers didn't appreciate his presence, that was just amusing to him. He was a cat person anyway. "What's her name?"

[the-ben-frost-blog]

"I do," Frost nods his head. He does want to know about them, though right now he doesn’t know what he’ll honestly do with the knowledge. Investigate, feel overwhelmed probably. DeSilva seemed like a corporation that was going to be hard to get a hold on. Hard to take down if that’s what it came to. "Did Eli tell you a couple of them went after him?" he asks, because he’s not sure how forthcoming the other man would be with the details. 

He lifts a brow in curiosity when he says there’s someone in the city that may be able to tell him more. His first thought it the woman he’d encountered and had come back with no memory afterwards. She’d been easy to follow, easy to find out where she went every day, but she was good and he didn’t dare approach her again without knowing the extent of her ability. 

"I’m not in the habit of flashing it anymore," he says, smirking a little at the joke. He plays both sides of the line so much that some days he doesn’t even leave home with it. He closes the file afterwards, setting it back down on the table because he didn’t want to keep it open more than what was necessary. "This woman a friend of yours?" 

[disxntegrate]

That has him stiffening slightly, the smallest shift in his seat that's the only betrayal of his uneasiness. Eli had told him a little. Not that he'd been targeted. And while it doesn't surprise him that he'd chosen to leave that part on the cutting room floor, it still left him a little more uneasy than he'd been a moment ago. He'd helped the man effectively disappear for the moment, but that was from the Bureau. Not some unknown agency. "No. No he did not."

He hides any other expression behind a sip of his half-forgotten coffee, and if the whole conversation has looked suspicious then he's less worried about it here. Not when most of the people are his, or at least supporters, and while it's not smart to get comfortable there's something to be said for that. At the end of the day, the rebellion was made up of anyone from anywhere. 

The question has him shaking his head, though not entirely sure how to answer it. And while it might be an assumption on his part, he makes it anyway. "Friend of Sawyer's. Not one of ours though. We broke her out a few years ago and she declined the invitation to stay." The smile on his lips belies any hard feelings, because the point of breaking anyone out wasn't solely recruitment. If they gained allegiances there, he would never argue, but the point was freedom. And she was welcome to do with hers what she wanted.

[the-ben-frost-blog]

Frost nods when the man says he understands. That’s about all he’s going to say for it right now. Enough talk for it tonight and he’s fairly certain Jay is aware what he’s talking about. That he had a wife and kid at some point and while the man has never come out and said that he knows of them, he’d said once that he knew why he joined the Bureau. Which means when he says he understands, he really understands. 

His eyes keep moving over the file, taking in all he can about it. He’s not sure why Jay’s giving this to him or if he expects him to do something with it. Mostly he’s just interested in finding out what this company is about and who’s in charge. How it’s stayed under the radar for so long because as far as he could tell, the Bureau hadn’t even been aware of its existence. Why would they? From this it looked like DeSilva was creating mutants. The Bureau would try to shut them down immediately. 

"This is more than enough," he says, but wonders afterwards what he means by enough. Maybe just to answer the question of what it is they do. Maybe he could track a few of the employees down and follow them to buildings, get as much information on it as he can, but the file in his hands right now is pretty solid. Pretty full of information. 

"Why give this to me?" he asks, looking up from the file to glance at the man. 

[disxntegrate]

There's a slight inclination of his head, some thought that whatever the words meant, he liked to think it was that they were on less unsteady territory. His loyalty more of a certainty than a question.

"I was under the impression you wanted to know about them." It puts the easy smile back on his face, as if that was motivation enough. To some degree it was, but he also thought it was the most effective way of demonstrating to the man that this wasn't some one way street. He was one of them, and if his conversation with Eli about the whole corporation had been stilted and less than enlightening, it had still caught his attention. Possibly too much for any of them to deal with right now, but still worth keeping an eye on.

And if nothing else, it had pieced some things together that perhaps he hadn't spent enough time wondering about. Eli's call about David Lincoln, Cole telling him that a woman who used to be called Darci had settled here. It felt connected, and there was some concern that he couldn't see all the strings yet.

"There's a woman in the city that might be able to tell you more. I can't say for sure, because it's been a few years. At the time I wasn't aware she was connected to any of this. But I could tell you where to find her." And there's a faint note of amusement with the next words. "Though I'd avoid flashing your badge."

[the-ben-frost-blog]

The words are more than he asked for. More than he was hoping for, honestly, but he appreciates them even if he doesn’t know how to show that appreciation. On his loneliest of nights, he thinks that there wouldn’t be anyone out there who missed him if the Bureau made him disappear. It’s a comfort to know that even if it’s just because of his position and the deeds he’s done, if not just who he is, that someone would do what they could. 

"I’m not afraid of dying," he says bluntly and while most of the time when they talk about getting caught, it means a compound somewhere, Frost is well aware that his threat level would be higher than a lot. That his type of reflexes would mean the Bureau was aware one slip up would allow him to escape. That they could shoot at him but probably not hit him, that they could leave one wrist bind too loose and he could slip it. He’s aware that his options are most likely they’ll kill him or keep him under some sedatives and either way he thinks it’s equal to death. "I just have some unresolved business I’d like to take care of before I go, that’s all." 

Elizabeth. Jeremy. It’s true he’s not afraid of death, but it’s also true that he wants to get the bastard who killed them before he goes. And that he tells the man as much probably means more to Frost than it does to the man sitting across from him. The situation makes him almost want to laugh because here he is opening up to Jay Wheeler. Not someone he’d ever thought he’d be exposing anything weak to. 

Reaching forward, he slides the file across to himself so he can take a look. “A cure?” he chances a guess before he opens the file. He looks through what’s written there and his brow raises a little bit in surprise. “No. Creation,” he corrects himself. 

[disxntegrate]

Jay'd like to think of himself as a smart man, enough that he doesn't need a map drawn for him of just what Frost's talking about. That the business he's talking about is personal, as are the bodies he never really put to rest. They're discussing him potentially dying, he doesn't think that he'd waste his thoughts on cases he hasn't closed, at least none of them save one.

"I understand," he tells him. He does, even if he can't relate. Not in the same way. Losing loved ones, maybe, but that was at his own hands, and there's no mystery there. It comes with it's own burden of guilt, but he doesn't presume it has anything to do with the man in front of him. Or that he could fully understand the horror of coming home to everyone he loved murdered where they were supposed to be safe.

For all his resources though, he doesn't know if any of them would be any use to the man. He has plenty at his own disposal, and every passing year just made the case colder. He doesn't say as much, but there's the thought that clinging onto it is a dead end.

"Creation," he affirms. "Nothing I saw makes me think they have a cure, or are even that invested in finding one. But then I couldn't get access to all of it. So I could be wrong."