[divin3s]

𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐈 𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐏 𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖟: 𝖆𝖓 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓.

(﹙˓  ‍🎧  ˒﹚)          whoa,  did  you  just  hear  that  voice?  it's  so  recognizable  that  i  have  no  doubt  it's  abilene perez.  i  don't  really  know  much  about  them,  but  i  heard  they're  a  twenty-one  year  old  undecided  major  in  their  first year  of  study.  people  say  that  they're  gentle and pious,  but  rumor  has  it  that  they're  actually  repressed and avoidant,  so  i  guess  we'll  never  know  the  truth  unless  you  live  with  them  in  off  campus.  if  you  ask  me,  i  think  i'd  describe  them  as  the all american dream,  but  their  spotify  wrapped  should  say  more  about  them,  in  which  sun bleached flies by ethel cain, the architect by kacey musgraves, and running up that hill by kate bush  are  amongst  their  most  played.  but  whatever,  i  wish  them  luck  on  their  endeavors  in  the celibacy club (president) and student events committee.  i  don't  know  how  they  have  time  for  all  of  that,  but  i  can't  wait  to  see  how  this  new  school  year  treats  them!    (  rachel zegler,  ciswoman/she/her,  closeted bisexual  )      𝄞ˎˊ˗

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[scgclden]

her mouth dropped open in shock when abilene confessed that she had never had a milkshake. that was like... some sort of crime! when growing up, goldie would always go to the same diner ever friday night with her grandparents. they had the same server (jeanie) and they would all order the same thing. her pop pop would get a medium rare steak with a baked potato. her gamma a club sandwich with fries. and goldie would get chocolate chip pancakes with extra crispy bacon and a strawberry milkshake for the drive home.

"okay well you gotta drink that right now and tell me what you think!" she grabbed the straw that had been placed next to the drink and ripped the wrapper off to place it inside, prepped for abi to drink. and when it was placed between them, a bright smile spread over goldie's features. it wouldn't be bad if she only had a few bites, right? she grabbed the long metal spoon and took a scoop from the metal mixing cup. "you feel guilty for taking a break?" goldie asked, moaning as the sweet goodness hit her tongue. "i think i'm usually too sleepy to really think about how i feel after a long day. but if you feel guilty, you should do your school working during lunch or when you're free during the day. that way you can have your night to yourself and do some self care. like, during the week, after glee club practice, i spent my night painting my nails and doing my skin care as i watch reruns of america's next top model. it just helps me chill out after a super long day."

[divin3s]

Abilene watched for Goldie's reaction like a hawk. For a split second, she wondered if this was the part where she'd be teased or, worse, pitied. Instead, there was just a pure, theatrical look on her face, which made Abilene loosen her shoulders.

"I know," she murmured as she let Goldie stick the straw in. She hesitated again when the milkshake was pushed closer, but she followed orders and took a small sip. There was a beat, long enough to be dramatic, before her eyes widened.

"Oh, no," she said, taking another sip. Then another, bigger slurp. "That's amazing." Abilene kept listening as Goldie went on about her self-care routine, sipping and sipping until she got brain freeze. With a grimace and a palm to her head, she closed her eyes and nodded along. "I might steal that," she admitted. "The only thing I have going for me is yoga. It's about the only fun thing in my life." Bummer.

[rawtalents]

🎸           ˚           ﹕ㅤㅤ    there was a moment where he could've slipped away, where he could've turned his head away, but there was a certain naiveté that left hollis utterly dumbfounded, standing still for once in his life. he knew what was coming, he'd been here a dozen times before girls, boys, the ones in between and the ones neither, but all he could do was let it happen. to let himself be overcome with surprise, because kissing might not be new, but kissing her was. and it wasn't the type that made him feel fireworks in his guts, and neither was it particularly great either, moreso a simple brush of their lips at first... but instinct was instinct, and sometimes it didn't need explanation. he knew he didn't deserve this, and he knew abilene was probably too overwhelmed with emotion to think clearly, but hollis kissed her back anyway, hands brought to her waist. he wasn't exactly sure what to feel, and maybe that was part of appeal of kissing abilene, how the shock had turned his brain into complete fuzz, liked how much he couldn't think of anything else but her lips against his own. how his mind finally fell quiet for the first time in a long time and only processed the warmth of her lips, the softness of it all. but just like with most things, hollis had to ruin it once he caught himself finally enjoying it. he pushed abilene back, took a quick step back and wiped his lips the back of his hands, all while an incredulous stare lingered on her. " you don't get to do that, " he scoffed before giving her a quick dubious shake of his head. then hollis spat on the ground, not out of disgust, but out of fear he wouldn't get the taste of her off his mouth otherwise. but abilene didn't need to know that, and he wouldn't let her know that. " you don't get to do that. not after you made me out to be the fucking devil. "

[divin3s]

It took about twenty seconds for the thought to register in Abilene's mind, but as soon as it did, it played on a constant loop. Bear. Bear. Bear. She decided then that she couldn't tell anyone, let alone him. Her faith had never banned kissing, but adultery had certainly made the cut. She didn't stumble or protest when Hollis pushed her back; she accepted that fate immediately.

There's a heat in her face that has nothing to do with the embarrassment or rush and everything to do with her old companion, shame, who's quick to arrive and impossible to get rid of. The taste of the kiss is still there; soft, bewildering, and the fact that he wiped his mouth like that felt worse than if he had just slapped her for doing it. What was it that had possessed her? Desire? Hatred? Curiosity? A combination of it all, possibly.

She had no words to say, her throat closing in on her, as if she were underwater for hours and forgot how to breathe back on land. "You're right, I shouldn't have," Abilene admitted, as if the two of them didn't already know that. She stepped back to create more distance between them. For something that should have been romantic, Abilene wanted nothing more than to go back home and scrub her tongue raw with a toothbrush and blubber into a set of floral pillows.

Then, reality began to sink in. Not only was she in public (hopefully with no patrons seeing her), but she couldn't trust Hollis to keep her new, dirty little secret. That pesky index finger is back to pointing in his direction. "If you tell anyone, I swear to G—" Careful there, Abi. "I'll... do something!" She exclaimed before stomping back to her car.

One thing was for sure: that stick up Abilene Perez's ass wasn't coming out anytime soon.

𝐄𝐍𝐃.

[stupidiots]

open starter ft. anyone location. st. rivera aquatic center context. #punk’d #ijustwantedtousethisgif

“ if  you  thought  that  was  funny,  i’m  about  to  be  hilar— ”  wyatt  stopped  halfway  out  of  the  locker  room,  one  hand  still  holding  the  door  open,  towel  slung  over  his  bare  shoulder  and  damp  hair  pushed  messily  back  from  his  forehead.  he  had  been  expecting  someone  from  swim  team  with  a  stupid  grin  and  his  missing  shirt  balled  up  under  one  arm,  not  the  person  standing  on  the  mostly  empty  pool  deck.   “  oh.  hi.  sorry. this  is  not,  um,  ”   he  started,  then  let  out  a  short,  embarrassed  laugh  under  his  breath,  standing  there  half - dressed and  holding onto the  very  unfortunate  knowledge  that  he  could  not  simply  retreat  back  through  the  door  without  looking  insane.  “  you haven’t seen a gray shirt lying around anywhere, have you?  ”

[divin3s]

Abilene had come to the aquatic center for one reason. She planned most things out meticulously, and her next semester fell right under that. Not having much drive for any particular subject, she knew Saint Rivera offered a half-credit course in scuba diving that sounded appealing, and she wanted to see if there was anyone in the center she could inquire with about the course.

Of course, she had been shellshocked when Wyatt walked out half-dressed.

She let out a bloodcurdling scream at the sight, one akin to Janet Leigh in Psycho. Her hands flew up on instinct, palms slapped over her eyes like that might undo the image already seared into her brain. Sinner. Accusatory, all she said was, "Why would I know where your clothes are? Shouldn't those be on your body?"

[oflos3rs]

   "  next  week  .  "  brooks  repeated  it  around  another  bite  of  sandwich  ,  nodding  to  himself  with  the  sort  of  solemn  understanding  usually  reserved  for  learning  cpr  or  assembling  ikea  furniture  .  "  i  can  probably  do  next  week  .  "  probably  .  that  word  carried  a  great  deal  of  weight  in  brooks'  vocabulary  .  it  could  mean  absolutely  .  it  could  mean  absolutely  not  .  it  could  also  mean  he'd  forget  entirely  until  somebody  reminded  him  ten  minutes  beforehand  .

   his  eyes  lit  up  at  the  mention  of  pizza  .  "  oh  ,  see  ,  now  that's  good  advertising  ,  abs  !  "  he  pointed  the  remaining  half  of  his  sub  at  her  like  she'd  just  revealed  state  secrets  .  "  you  should  put  that  on  the  posters  .  forget  all  the  ...  y'know  ...  "  his  free  hand  waved  vaguely  through  the  air  .  "  the  abstinency  stuff  .  "  a  beat  .  "  abstinence  .  "  another  beat  .  "  abstinentialism  .  "  he  frowned  at  himself  .

   "  ...  whatever  .  the  no  bonin'  thing  .  "  he  nodded  once  ,  satisfied  enough  with  that  .  "  just  write  :  '  free  pizza  .  '  i'd  show  up  for  free  pizza  .  hell  ,  i'd  even  show  up  for  breadsticks  .  "  brooks  listened  ⸻  genuinely  listened  ⸻  while  abilene  explained  the  structure  of  the  meetings  .  his  expression  never  shifted  toward  ridicule  .  if  anything  ,  it  softened  with  concentration  ,  eyebrows  knitting  together  as  he  tried  to  file  every  piece  into  the  correct  folder  inside  his  head  .

   boys  over  there  .  girls  over  there  .  scripture  .  temptations  .  voluntary  .  his  head  bobbed  every  few  seconds  .  "  huh  .  "  that  was  …  actually  way  more  organized  than  he'd  pictured  .  "  i  kinda  thought  it'd  be  like ...  "  he  gestured  with  both  hands  now  ,  nearly  dropping  his  sandwich  in  the  process  before  catching  it  against  his  chest  with  a  startled  little  grunt  .

   "  ...  y'know  .  chairs  in  a  circle  .  everybody  says  their  name  .  then  somebody  rings  one  of  those  little  desk  bells  and  goes  ,  '  congratulations  !  another  week  without  gettin'  laid  !  '  "  he  smiled  sheepishly  .  "  i  dunno  .  clubs  got  traditions and stuff  .  "

   then  came  the  invitation  .  you're  always  welcome  to  come  .  brooks  beamed  so  brightly  it  almost  looked  painful  .  "  wait , seriously  ?  like  for  real  ,  no  take  backs  ?  "  there  wasn't  an  ounce  of  suspicion  in  him  .  no  wondering  whether  she  meant  it  .  no  concern  that  maybe  he  wasn't  exactly  the  target  demographic  .  just  uncomplicated  excitement  .

   "  that's  actually  really  nice  of  you  .  "  his  shoulders  lifted  in  a  shrug  .  "  i  mean  ...  "  he  glanced  toward  the  ceiling  as  though  the  answer  might've  been  written  there  .  "  i’m  not  exactly  ...  y'know  ... "  his  sandwich  became  a  pointer  again  .  "  qualifying  .  "  another  thoughtful  pause  .  "  like  ,  i've  definitely  had  sex  .  "  he  said  it  with  the  same  casual  tone  someone  might  confess  to  owning  a  bicycle  .

   "  not  ,  like  ,  today  .  "  beat  .  "  or  yesterday  .  "  another  beat  .  "  actually  i  don't  remember  exactly  when  .  couple  months  ?  maybe  ?  i  don't  keep  spreadsheets  or  anything  .  "  he  looked  back  at  her  .  "  does  that  matter  ?  "  there  it  was  .  a  completely  earnest  question  .  not  defensive  .  not  embarrassed  .  just  curious  .  "  'cause  if  this  is  one  of  those  clubs  where  once  you  mess  up  they  kick  you  out  forever  ,  i  probably  should  know  before  i  get  emotionally  invested  in  the  pizza  .  "

[divin3s]

Wow, this guy could say a whole lot without actually saying anything of importance. Still, Abilene let herself linger and didn't even wince when he mentioned things like no bonin' or that he didn't exactly qualify. "Brooks," she said it slowly, like one talking down to a child who didn't know the difference between up and down. "It's celibacy club," she iterated, like he didn't already know that. "It's sort of in the name to be abstinent."

She started walking to nowhere in particular, except maybe out of the building where the club was held. Abilene didn't know if this was a curse of hers or if Brooks just had a bad case of blabbing. He was practically laying it all out on the line for her, and yet it did nothing to sway her in one way or the other.

"The pizza isn't important," she snapped. Or well, okay, it was to him, but it certainly wasn't the highlight of Abilene's existence in her little club. They only ever did it once a month, at best.

"Wait," she stopped, placing a hand on Brooks' chest to stop him just as fast. Then, her head craned, another saccharine smile on her face. "Don't you get it? You are abstinent, silly. You just said you haven't been a fornicator for two months."

Nobody tell her that didn't mean Brooks planned to fornicate again.

[rawtalents]

🎸           ˚           ﹕ㅤㅤ    and for how much he loved disorder, loved pushing buttons and pushing people to their limits, hollis still wouldn't say he was completely heartless. he wanted her to break, he wanted wanted her to be mad, and to feel everything she'd been holding back, but he never wanted to see the tears. he'd expected a long-winded self-righteous diatribe, about how he'd given the devil a foothold and how he might be beyond salvation, but hollis didn't think she'd cry. so he took every pathetic push, kept a straight face despite the guilt, looking straight into her eyes as if asking her to push more power into it, because he didn't deserve anything less. and he wished there was an easy answer to her questions, wished that he knew exactly what he was doing in at any given moment, but his life had been one abstract scrawl, nothing made sense, everything made up along the way, and simply dealing with repercussions as they fell upon his shoulders. " i don't know, alright? " hollis finally answered, gesturing vaguely. because that was exactly how everything felt unless he was putting himself through the ringer. vague. nebulous. indecipherable. " i don't fucking know. " then, he let out a sharp breath, shook his head, canted it, desperately trying to find the right words, but he doubted there were any at this point. " it wasn't to make you look like a fool, " he exhaled. " i wanted you to feel something. it didn't matter what, i just wanted you feel something real. " he knew it was shitty, but in some fucked up way, hollis thought that he was doing her a favor. that he was waking her up from whatever idealized version of the world she had in her head. " or i guess i wanted you feel as lost as i do, " he shrugged, though it was probably the answer closest to the truth. " wanted you to see me for what i really am, and still look at me like i could be forgiven. but you didn't. "

[divin3s]

All of Hollis' words land in Abilene's chest like a dropped plate; loud, sudden, irreparable. To feel something. Real. She wanted to yell at him and keep shoving at him until he understood that the part of her that everyone saw was the real her, but she knew she'd be caught in a lie. "You don't join a club to do that. Do you know how crazy that sounds?" She asked.

Every time she goes to speak again, it just gets bottled down further and further. What can she say more? The truth is, she wished she could go back to the person she was before she came to Saint Rivera, or even to the person she was before she met Hollis Navarrette. The sheltered girl who only knew her parents and her congregation, where there was no world of sin or temptation.

And yet, here she was in The Garden of Eden.

There's that old, terrible instinct in her bones. The one she's spent her entire life sanding down and praying away. The instinct was that if she closed the distance, just for a second, she could make everything stop hurting so loudly. Abilene stepped forward before she could even talk herself out of it.

Her hand caught lightly behind the nape of Hollis' neck, clumsily, as she rose to the balls of her feet, and pressed her lips to his. It's evident enough that Abilene has never done this before, the awkward placement of her hands, and the way that it's no more than a chaste kiss rather than one full of passion.

[shcwtunes]

"i think i can handle one meeting." maybe. hopefully. only one way to find out. "how bad could it be?" famous last words? he certainly hoped not, but he couldn't help but feel a bit like he was walking into the lion's den -- a reference he considers telling abilene, considering it's biblical origins, but he's not too sure she'd appreciate it being used in regards to the club she ran.

"i will try my best, i promise." it wouldn't be easy - that guy was just asking to have a wad of gum stuck on the back of his head, but, for her, he would at least attempt not to disrupt the meeting. no matter how much it might be deserved. "could be the bruising his ego desperately needs. isn't pride a sin?" so was theft, but bear didn't seem quite as concerned with that part. "...but i guess it's not my responsibility to dole out the punishments for it." no matter how much he might like the idea of playing god.

[divin3s]

Abilene can't really help herself, unable to suppress a smile. "Not at all," she answered, truthfully. Because to her, the celibacy club was probably one of the safest clubs to be a part of. Literally! "I appreciate you trying, at least," another truthful statement came from her lips. "Besides, you only have to be alone with him for about ten minutes. Then you can't ignore him for the other thirty." Which, luckily for Bear, they very rarely lasted the whole forty minutes of their meeting. Attendees were few and far between, and ever since Abilene had shown Hollis her one-woman show of Dante's Inferno, well, people were scared to say anything to their fearless leader.

At the mention of pride, she lifted a brow. "It is," she agreed, "But so is presuming authority that doesn't belong to you." Harsh, maybe. She glanced in his direction with a pointed look, though it wasn't unkind. "That's why we leave the smiting to the man upstairs," she pointed her index finger upwards.

Then, a pause, considering, "Or natural consequences."

[rawtalents]

🎸           ˚           ﹕ㅤㅤ    was there anything more than devastating than how abilene perez might never realize how funny she really was? well, except for world hunger and systems of control's recent descents to fascism, but hollis only really cared about what was in front of him at any given time. and it was a goddamn travesty how she refused in on the joke, always so uptight that she became someone to laugh at than with. " jesus fucking christ, " he laughed, taking the lord's name in vain, but hollis couldn't think of any other way to respond to the piercing sound of her voice. " didn't think you hated televangelism that much. i guess there's still such thing as a good christian. " and hollis didn't need to be the most perceptive person in the world to notice her balled-up fists, white-knuckled in no seconds, yet somehow all hollis could think of was to finally stand up. to take a few steps closer, to smile despite abilene's palpable annoyance, almost as if beseeching those very fists to strike him. masochistic, sure, but at least it'd be proof that she was capable of being worse, which was synonymous to more interesting in hollis' vocabulary. " you're not as hard to read as you think, you know? " hollis said, a little terrified of how easily she reverted back to her usual composure. but everything abilene did were so familiar, telltale signs of someone so desperately keeping it together, so meticulous about performing their own most desired version of their self. someone bound to inevitably explode with everything they'd repressed, and hollis wanted to be there when that happened. " i've been there, " he   admitted. " the   whole   song   and   dance   of   being   someone   that   somebody   else   want   me   to   be   shoving   down   my   emotions   to   be   more   palatable   to   them. " then   another   step   closer,   a   smug   smile   on   his   lips. " so   i   bet   it   felt   really   good   when   you   let   yourself   be   angry   at   me   just   a   second   ago.    so   by   all   means,   be   angry. " but   all   he   was   really   saying   was,    hit   me.   and he prayed it'd be hard enough to make him feel something.    hollis   paused   for   a   few   seconds,    glanced   around   to   make   there   weren't   anyone   else   nearby   before   looking back at her. " c'mon,   abes,    it's   just   us,    no   need   perform   when   it's   just   you   and   me.    i'm   not   god,   i   won't   judge   you. let it out. "

[divin3s]

Abilene does not hit him.

The thought passes, bright and kindling, like a struck match, but it gutters out just as quickly, smothered by years of practiced restraint. "You don't get to psychoanalyze me," she said it a little too quietly, which somehow may have been worse than if she had raised her voice again. The calm settles over her like a cold frost, sharp and biting.

She hates the sensitivity, how her eyesight starts to blur, tears welling up in her eyes. Tears don't fall, but as much as Abilene was able to control herself, sadness was something that would always show on her face. And for her, anger and sadness were two of the same. Sad crier, angry crier, happy crier. She was a crier.

She steps closer, enclosing an inch of space between them, and her hands reach in a laughable, gentle shove. "You made a joke of me," it's stated like a fact. The week and a half Hollis had spent in the club certainly hadn't turned them into best friends, but if anyone had asked, she would say she trusted him. That was all gone. "And you couldn't even tell me." Shove. "Why didn't you tell me?" One sob finds its way through.

"You don't want me to 'let it out'," she continued. "You want absolution. Or entertainment. Both, I don't know," she shook her head, lip trembling. "That's all it was, wasn't it? To make me look like a fool?"

[xoxoclementines]

she considers the pastry, examining it in front of her. " mmm- well it looks amazing. apple and cinnamon has to be one of the best flavor combinations to ever exist. " and as much as she will miss the summer heat, she's excited for all the beautiful changes that fall brings.

" sad? " head tilts, thinking about what her friend has said. " i don't feel sad " but she understands, on a bigger level. " i honestly feel like i see the online world as something we can use for good? it can make people feel lonely, but what if we can use it to make people feel connected and seen. that's what i like about having a platform- trying to spread positive messages. a lot of young girls follow me, i'd rather they be looking at my stuff than a lot of other things they could be exposed to. " sort of she supposes in the same sense that abi's got her celibacy club... trying to be a good influence on the world around her? she'd guess.

[divin3s]

Abilene listened to Clementine without interrupting, which was its own kind of discipline; she often had a habit of rebuking or butting in. There's a faint crease between Abilene's brows that deepens. Not inherently from disagreement, but from the effort of taking it seriously. "I guess I get that," she admitted, her voice gentle. Social media wasn't something Abilene was really on, aside from a handful of photos she had posted. Even with all the religious influencers out there and the rise of the tradwife lifestyle, she had yet to download TikTok herself. It was vanity at best.

"But, you don't feel like you're missing out?" Abilene rephrased, curiously. "I mean, camera eats first," she repeated the line like it was a Bible verse. "Surely that's not healthy to think. If you're so focused on what's going on online and about your own online presence, it must be hard to be in the real world."

[shcwtunes]

bear feels bad; he knows this is important to her, and his reaction hadn't been exactly what she was hoping for - but he'd never really been known for having a poker face. "right, no, i know. i'm glad that you want me to be there." invitations weren't something he received often - in part due to his penchant for going through all the pockets of jackets left behind in the coat room - and it did mean a lot to him that she wanted to include him in this. but... celibacy club? didn't sound like his dream afternoon activity.

still... the look on her face is so earnest, and, though he might love saying the word no, he's not too sure he can this time. ...or crush her dreams regarding sully's sudden interest in the club. plus, if he's there, maybe he can put a stop to it before the guy does anything to mess things up for her. he might have supervillain aspirations, but, maybe he can use his powers for good just this once, for the sake of his girlfriend's creepy club. "okay, okay. fine. i'll give it a shot. ...but i'm bringing gum just in case. only as a last resort, i promise."

[divin3s]

"Hmm," Abilene hummed, noncommittal, which in Abilenese is both an acknowledgment and a warning. She's not an idiot; she knows he's practically sacrificing, well, mostly everything by indulging her fantasy of them being the picture-perfect couple of chastity. "Thank you," she finally added, and she meant it. "You don't have to stay the whole time, either, if you're uncomfortable." Abilene was a lot of things, but she wouldn't hold Bear hostage if they didn't want to stick around.

Her fingers smoothed the edge of her napkin again, a habit, trying to keep everything as pristine as it was before she touched it. "Try to keep the gum in your pocket, though," she suggested. It wasn't that she didn't understand that Sully was a bit much, but it was his safe space, too. "I'm not sure how well my reputation would be if he had a bald head for the rest of the semester." The visual alone brings just the smallest of smiles to her face.

[oflos3rs]

𝚂𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝚂𝙲𝙴𝙽𝙴:   right after celibacy club ends.

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷:   @divin3s.

   the  hallway  outside  the  classroom  looked  like  the  aftermath  of  something  sacred  .  students  spilled  from  the  doorway  in  clusters  ,  voices  low  and  careful  ,  drifting  together  like  incense  smoke  beneath  the  fluorescent  lights  .  brooks  walked  straight  into  it  with  a  sandwich  in  one  hand  .  he  looked  wildly  out  of  place  .  his  hoodie  sleeves  were  shoved  to  his  elbows  despite  the  chill in the air  .  there  was  mayonnaise  on  one  thumb  .  a  paper  bag  was  tucked  beneath  his  arm  .  he  moved  through  the  thinning  crowd  with  such  conviction  that he couldn't comprehend considering  the  possibility  that  he  wasn't  welcome  somewhere  .

   by  the  time  the  last  few  students  had  filtered  away  ,  only  one  person  remained  .  abilene  .  "  yo  ,  abs  !  "  then  ,  brooks'  face  fell  immediately  as  he  finally  understood  that  the  students  leaving  the  room  meant  they  were ...  finished  .  "  aw  ,  man  .  "  his  words  came  out  around  a  mouthful  of  sub  .  he  chewed  twice  before  swallowing  and  pointing  the  sandwich  at  the  now-empty  classroom  .  "  it's  over  already  ?  "  the  disappointment  sounded  genuine  .  devastating  ,  even  .

   he  glanced  past  her  shoulder  into  the  room  as  though  maybe  there  was  still  time  to  catch  the  second  half  .  "  i  thought  this  thing  went  longer  .  "  another  bite  disappeared  .  then  he  brightened  .  "  wait  .  when's  the  next  one  ?  "  the  question  arrived  with  all  the  confidence  of  someone  who  had  never  attended  a  single  meeting  and  had  somehow  skipped  directly  to  assuming  he  belonged  there  .

   his  gaze  settled  on  abilene  .  brooks  knew  exactly  two  things  about  her  .  one  :  she  was  religious  .  two  :  she  was  very  religious  .  the  distinction  felt  important  .  he  wasn't  entirely  sure  what  celibacy  club  actually  did  .  every  explanation  he'd  ever  received  had  sounded  suspiciously  like  homework  .  still  ,  he  found  himself  fascinated  by  it  in  the  same  way  people  became  fascinated  by  documentaries  about  deep  sea  fish  .  it  was  a  completely  different  world  from  his  own  . he  took  another  bite  .  "  you  guys  got  snacks  in  there  ?  ⸻  actually  ,  scratch  that  .  if  you  did  ,  don't  tell  me  .  i'll  get  jealous  .  "  the  corner  of  his  mouth  twitched  .

   "  though  i  gotta  ask  .  what  do  you  even  talk  about  for  an  hour  ?  just  everybody  sitting  in  a  circle  like  ,  '  yep  .  still  not  having  sex  .  '  "  he  nodded  thoughtfully  .  "  seems  like  it'd  be  a  pretty  short  meeting  .  "  there  wasn't  a  trace  of  malice  in  it  .  no  mockery  .  no  judgment  .  just  genuine  curiosity  wrapped  in  the  unfortunate  delivery  system  that  was  brooks  daniel  keller  .  he  shifted  the  sandwich  to  his  other  hand  and  fell  into  step  beside  her  without  invitation  .  "  c'mon  .  walk  with  me  .  i  got  another  fifteen  minutes  before  i'm  supposed  to  be  somewhere  ,  and  there's  at  least  a  fifty  percent  chance  i  skip  it  ... okay , you got me ! you're good ! ... a seventy - five percent chance .  "

[divin3s]

Abilene paused midstep when she heard Abs, of all things, and for a split second, she considered pretending that she didn't. She turned anyway, her cardigan still buttoned wrong from rushing to stack chairs with their reserved time up. Her eyes immediately make eye contact with the sandwich, then reluctantly, to Brooks.

"Oh," the words come out eloquently. "We start on time," she gives him a once-over. "And we end on time." She watched as he peered into the empty classroom with something like genuine loss, and that threw her for a loop. Was this the potential for recruitment? It would help their numbers; guys rarely joined, and where jocks went, more were sure to follow.

"Next week. Same time and place," she answered, after a hesitant beat. Her gaze flicked to the sandwich again. "Preferably without outside food. But we do have the occasional pizza social. Those are always a hit."

At his languid summary of the meeting, her brows knitted together, scandalized on instinct. "That is not," she started, but decided that the fight wasn't worth it. He was a curious soul, and was Abilene not meant to lead? "We talk about our temptations and how we can curb them. We're separated by gender; boys start in the opposite room, and then we all come together to share our faith. Sometimes we read scripture or share testimonies, but everything is strictly voluntary," she explained.

She let herself fall into step beside him, posture straight enough to suggest she's walking with a purpose. "You're always welcome to come," Abilene flashed a beaming smile at him, one almost too artificial to be considered real.

[shcwtunes]

bear had quite a few opinions on abilene's mother's beliefs, but, as much as he wasn't one to typically hold back from speaking his mind, he knew that calling his girlfriend's mother a lunatic probably wasn't the key to a long, healthy relationship. "...right. i'll keep that in mind, i guess." silently, he wonders which would be worse to bring up right now - his impression that mrs. perez was at least slightly off her rocker, or, the hopefully not important fact that he was pretty sure he was an atheist.

"the celibacy club?" he doesn't intend for it to come out this way, but bear repeats the words like she's just asked him to hold a live grenade for her. it's not even so much the celibacy part of the ordeal -- it's the club of it all that has him considering running the other way. especially if it means being trapped in a room with sullivan vane for an hour. but... he wants to be a good boyfriend. and that means making sacrifices, for the sake of making her happy, even if it feels a little too close to a humiliation ritual for comfort. "i guess i could. am i allowed to stick gum in his hair if he's annoying?"

[divin3s]

Abilene's lips part, then press together again, as if she's trying to revise a version of herself that may have laughed immediately. Instead, she offers a measured, faintly disapproving look. She reaches for her water glass to take a sip and buy herself a moment of composure. "It's not a punishment," she says, reflexively, as though she's had this conversation a million times before. Mostly because she had. Whenever she tried to recruit new members, most people viewed it as such.

"And no," she adds, primly, though the corner of her mouth betrays her with the faintest tug of a smile. "You are not allowed to assault anyone with chewing gum, even if it is Sullivan Vane," who, even by Abilene's standards, was a bit much, "I think it's kind of cool he's reclaiming himself."

Abi wouldn't consider herself manipulative, but she wasn't quite as innocent as people believed her to be. If she wanted people to buy into their relationship, not that it wasn't fake by any means. Still, it wasn't exactly built on love; they sometimes had to appear as a united front. She looks at him, using the eyes she had seen Goldie use on one, two, okay, three guys before. "Plus, it'd make me really happy."

[shcwtunes]

all the commotion has bear wincing, anticipating the oncoming headache that is sure to arrive as a result, but he tries his best to push through it. he can be a normal person. he can go on a date with a pretty girl, and be good company, and not make her regret asking him to be her boyfriend. "are you sure she likes it, or was she just trying to say it's a dump without being rude?" bear jokes - mostly - and ignores the basket when it's placed in front of them - having learned from experience.

"yeah, i think those are just decorative." he'd made the mistake of trying one the first time he'd been here, and had felt like he was going to chip a tooth in the process. "pretty sure the food's a little better, though?" it's unlike him, to be so optimistic, but he doesn't want to be a total downer when they're supposed to be having a nice time. "actually edible, at least."

[divin3s]

Abilene set the offending breadstick onto the table, not wanting to taint the bread basket with the barely eaten one, even if she didn't think Bear was going to eat any. If you were to ask her, she would say her boyfriend was pleasant company. He didn't talk very much, and they didn't spend much time together, but for the most part, she couldn't complain.

"I think she believes suffering builds character," she says just lightly enough for the words not to sting, smoothing her napkin over her lap. "If the food makes you a little ill, it just means you weren't grateful enough for the meal," beat, "Or that you should have prayed for a bountiful one."

She had never courted before; Abilene's church was small and mostly filled with the elderly or couples already experiencing newlywed bliss, and the boys at her high school never did care for the in order to date Abilene, you mustn't close the bedroom door adage, when someone did build up any courage to try and ask her out. At college, though, her parents didn't have much more than her word, which was that Bear was nice to her and came from a good family, and that wasn't a complete lie!

"You should come to celibacy club next week," she prompted, a little too quickly. Sometimes, Abilene viewed their relationship as transactional, a sort of scratch my back and I'll scratch yours situation. So she wasn't necessarily asking; she was simply telling him. If he came, she wouldn't bother him for a month and leave him to do whatever it is he does with his robots. "The girls are getting really tired of having to come together with just Sully."

[scgclden]

her mind was often a cluster of thoughts. ranging from passing students wearing cute outfits to suddenly feeling the pain of wearing her hair in a ponytail all day long. and if a cute boy walked past her, forget about goldie focusing on anything but him. she knew she often struggled to focus - her student advisor often told her she just needed to apply herself - but she's rather not pay such traits any mind.

she hadn't ordered anything for herself, having already snuck a sweet treat earlier in the day, so she looked longingly at the shake abilene had gotten. were shakes better for you? there had to be something health about them, right? she drank protien shakes after all.

the question directed at her had the blonde blushing as she confessed, "no. but i can never sit down and do school work after a full day of classes. it makes my brain hurt." leaning to prop her chin up on her hand, goldie's gaze zeroed in on the drink once more before asking, "what's got ya so distracted?"

[divin3s]

Abilene hesitated, as if the answer might incriminate her if she said it out loud. Her gaze lingered on the milkshake a moment longer than necessary as the whipped cream collapsed before her, then she returned her attention to Goldie. "I've never had a milkshake," she confided in a whisper.

Pies and cookies, sure, but what stared back at her was just plain gratifying. "Does it ever get easier?" she asked, slightly curious about Goldie's mental fatigue after a full day of classes. "Not feeling so guilty for letting your brain rest?"

Then she pulled the milkshake between them, sticky condensation dripping onto her fingers. "Split it with me? There's no way I can finish it by myself," she added, letting her expression suggest I won't tell if you do.

[rawtalents]

🎸           ˚           ﹕ㅤㅤ    in another world, hollis and abilene could've been friends, because he certainly needed someone like her in his life to keep him grounded, someone who seemed so sure about herself and her values, even if it was all pretend. but that was simply impossible now, not when his desire to experience every extracurricular saint rivera had to offer, as if his personal luncheon buffet for self-discovery, had led him to a week-long religious psychosis with the celibacy club only to get bored and find himself in bed with another member. and once abilene found out... well, #allhellbrokeloose and he was rightfully banished from the land of repression and no premarital sex. " blasphemer? " he echoed in amusement, heard it like how one would look at a battle scar, a title to honor the experience than feel degraded for. then he let out a small laugh and shook his head, still mostly just surprised to see her out and about at this time of the night, but it also made him curious. because what could abilene perez be possibly doing? hollis would've thought she'd given herself a strict curfew and bedtime to give herself adequate time to dream about jesus. " careful not to trip on your hypocrisy, tammy faye. because anyone still awake in the dead of night must be simply up to no good. " and his gaze lingered on her, staring at abilene with the same judgment in her eyes when she looked at him, trying to get under her skin. " so, what is it? meeting a secret boyfriend? smoking weed at the overlook? " a brief pause, narrowing his eyes as if he almost had her all figured out. " or maybe you're part of some debauched satanic cult meeting every night in the basement of an abandoned crackhouse, and this whole sexually repressed christian baptist girl persona you've got going on has been a cover all along? "

[divin3s]

Abilene immediately stiffened, her posture becoming statuesque as he rattled it all off. Secret boyfriend. Satanic cult. All of the buzzwords that would crawl underneath her skin like an insect. But it was one that had set her fully over the edge, if Hollis' presence wasn't enough to do so.

Tammy Faye.

"I am not a Tammy Faye!" She practically shrieked, an almost inhuman noise that had, in recent times, only been reserved for him. "Televangelists are nothing but a plague," she huffed out, and if he hadn't been sitting on the curb, she probably would have dangled an index finger in his face, chastising him.

Abilene's hands curled at her sides, knuckles whitening, the perfect picture of restraint cracking just enough to show the fault lines that hid underneath. Hypocrite, repressed, cultist, she could endure all of that. She had been enduring worse since she was old enough to know what it meant to keep your hems below the knee.

"You think because you spent a week playing dress up that you suddenly know anything about me?" Her voice was quieter now, almost alarming how quick she was to re-compose herself just like a perfectly wound up doll whose string was pulled back in. The sad truth was that she wasn't angry at him for breaking his oath; it was that he did it to her and betrayed her trust, and when it did happen, he couldn't face her himself.

[divin3s]

closed starter for @shcwtunes

"My mom loves this place," is the first thing that leaves Abilene's mouth as she slides in a booth opposite to Bear. It was busier than she had ever seen it, the raucous noise of a baby squalling and the clatter of dinner plates echoed in her head. "She says it's 'unpretentious' which I think is just her way of saying she's willing to forgive food poisoning if the bread is decent enough."

A basket of breadsticks lands between them with a clatter and where steam should be rising, there's nothing. Abilene pauses for a moment before reaching for the almost microscopic piece of bread and tries to bite into it. Nothing. The breadsticks are hard as rocks. She tries again, gnawing at it until his saliva causes it to somewhat break apart. "Are these made with cement?"

[hrmonies]

intermission. god's apology for all that is wrong with the world, also known as milo's sacred space. he was often found roaming the aisles past midnight, as if he were a ghost that was trapped within the store. especially since he looked extremely ghastly beneath the fluorescent lighting. each week, he had money set aside to restock on snacks, drinks and the odd trinket perched by the cash register. he'd made a decent display over the years and displays it with pride. his favorite being the miniature rubber ducky in saint rivera's colors, to the extent that each teammate of the titans received one. currently, he was balancing several bags of chips atop a case with glacier freeze gatorade which the store clerk set aside for him each week. rapport matters! he hadn't the common sense to set the contents down whilst pouring out a slushy... a #CLOWN, and karma for trying the new flavors out with a cupped hand out beneath the nozzle. inevitably, the chips go each and every way with the case of gatorades splitting and rolling out into the aisle. “ CRAP! my gatorade... ” his yell falls quiet with his mourning, shoulders dropping in defeat and lips falling on a pout. his luck only gets worse with his slushy falling from the tilt and splashing across his favorite pair of joggers, staining them with red 40 and blue 1. “ oh, come on! ” an irritated groan, followed with a muttered, “ you're such an idiot, milo, ” as he smears the slushy contents into the joggers until they become a shade of saturated violet. admittedly, he was neither the brightest nor wisest, with little regard for the mess he'd created in a mere matter of seconds or the innocent bystanders on a late night snack run. after a loss of dignity and many paper towels later, he finds himself crouched against the slushy machine gathering the remaining chunks of slush. he notices a foreign shadow beside him, shoes soon coming into sight. “ just a second, nearly done here. then this stupid thing is all yours! ” a hand raised out to them, half apologetic, half annoyed, 100% embarrassed.

setting: intermission, the beloved convenience store that seems to become a major inconvenience for milo. your muse witnesses the aftermath of his destruction and deals with a slightly irritable milo.

[divin3s]

Abilene didn't have much of a purpose for her excursion to Intermissions other than keeping herself busy long enough to maybe crash with one of the girls in the celibacy club. The fluorescent lights buzz as she steps inside, instinctively pulling her cardigan tighter around her middle. She's halfway down the aisle when the collision happens.

Gatorades and chips littered around the tile, a slushie meeting it mere seconds later. She stops to watch Milo's crouched and miserable frame. Her first thought is this is a sign closely followed by of what, exactly, for which she isn't sure. When he speaks, mostly seemingly out of irritation, she's quick to bend down to his level, skirt be damned if any slush catches onto the fabric. "You're fine," is all she says, reaching for a bottle rolling away.

"It's just sugar," she adds, as if it's supposed to be a comfort. Messes could be cleaned up. "I've got one of those stain removers in my bag but," she eyes his violet covered pants, "Might not get it all out."