DJ Bilux

Or | Hey look at me I'm a ✨Musician✨ (aka ✨Unemployed✨) | He / Him

[djbilux]

Fuck gender, we should all be labeled by our favorite color instead, sue me.

[notapsychboard]

James Bond is a shit spy!

Double o’seven these nuts.

How can one spy be so shit. You have only one fucking job and you’re fucking it up.

James, Jamie, Jonny-boy, dude, as a spy people aren’t supposed to know who you are! That’s like rule one of spying!

“The name’s Bond, James Bond” now they know who you are. You’re going around sleeping with all those women and then act surprised they actually secretly spies. At least they do their fucking job!

The millisecond someone says “Mr. Bond, I’ve heard a lot about you” is the moment you realize how a colossal monumental fuck up you are.

[djbilux]

The reason 007 is so known is for you to not think about who 008 is! You've fallen right into their trap, you fool!

[djbilux]

Making the Tumblr post is only half the battle, the other half is checking if someone else made it already

[djbilux]

Me and my friend are writing a script for a show we're working on, and somehow our issue of "We need a reason to make our characters go to school" was solved with "Our main character hates mirrors and breaks the school bathroom mirror every time she enters it"

So yeah, fun.

[djbilux]

Why are regular printers harder to operate than 3D ones?

[djbilux]

I'm a relatively new Tumblr user, and I swear to fucking god, ever since I joined all it's been recommending me is hunger games stuff.

Hey buddy? I know you mean well, but this has got to stop. I'm taking you to rehab for Hunger Games addiction aka Bake Off.

[djbilux]

God: Abraham, go have children

Abraham: *Goes and has children with Hagar*

God: wait, no, not like that-

[djbilux]

Everyone says Free Palestine, but no one says where I can actually get it for free ;-;

[djbilux]

For all you songwriting bucko's, here's a neat little trick I use when I hit a wall:

1. Listen to new music with words, and when you land on a song that you really like, study THE FUCK out of it's lyrics and melody.

This will help your brain get creative and let itself push boundaries!

2. Now that you're in the zone, write as if you're writing new lines for the song you listened to.

You don't have to write about the same subject of the song, and it doesn't have to be perfect or even accurate to the original beat, but when you have a pre-existing structure in your head, it will be easier to fill lines.

And Voila! You have yourself a song now! Just remember, experimentation is key - you could use 2 different songs, or 3, or a million! Whatever works for you!

Songs I've used before (in English, anyway) with this exact method are: The (Shipped) Gold Standard - Fall Out Boy, Is It Over Now? - Taylor Swift, I/Me/Myself - Will Wood

Happy writing!

[djbilux]

You are now legally required to create a fictional album name based on you and your music preference. Bonus points if you add fictional song names in this fictional album. Go go go!

[djbilux]

4am - Windows forcefully wakes up my computer and updates it to the latest version

7am - I wake up to discover that my apps are broken

9am - I finally discover that the latest Windows update is broken after hours of googling, and proceed to revert it to the previous version

10am - Windows is finally done with reverting to the previous version where my apps do work, but now I can't access the settings

12pm - Find a line of code I need to insert somewhere from fucking nowhere that fixes my issue

1pm - After taking a break, I proceed to use my computer for work and gaming and such

10pm - I put my computer to sleep mode and go to sleep myself

repeat.

[djbilux]

Gather round, children, and let me read you a tale,

A tale that shall inflict fear in you with no fail,

It is of addiction, trash, and a corporation so greedy

The frightening tale of Netflix TV

3 years in the past, I was but a child

Stuck in a pandemic, with only my room to hide

When I finished my daily Zoom

The only thing I felt was a chilling gloom

So as per usual, I open Netflix on my phone

To see shows I have not yet watched before

Daredevil, B99, Rick and Morty, all binged

The end of Netflix would make any man unhinged

But thus, stood a show that never popped in my feed

"A Netflix original? Ok, it could be neat..."

Of course, in hindsight it was no miracle

Instead, it was a sphere, a ball, a CIRCLE

I hit play without any second thought to give

The realization of the horror I entered into cut like a shiv

But I was in too deep, I was done, booked

If I were Robin Williams, I'd say I was Hooked

I watched and watched the reality show

When season one was done, the second was ready to go

I wept and I cried day and night about my curse

But little did I know it would only be the first

Because when season 3 was done there was no more

I thought I finally ended my days of horror

I rejoiced in happiness that I was out of this bind

And then a new title showed up - "Love is Blind"

I knew what had to happen, but I tried to fight the need

I threw my phone at the wall with such speed

That not only did I crack my phone and my wall

It opened up the show, audio and all

It was too late now, I had to watch the whole show

2 seasons down the drain of people being stupid from head to toe

And when that ended, The Ultimatum began

The queer season started right after the normal one was done

And so I watched all of them, all of the reality shows

And I'll keep seeing them as long as Netflix will make more

My life consists of looking at these disappointing stories

Only to know that each and every one will fail with no worries

So I warn you children, don't venture through the dark path

You're not as strong as mother nature, and you don't know her wrath

Go watch normal TV, like Scott Pilgrim or Make Happy

Because if you don't, you'll end up just like me

[djbilux]

Fuck gender, we should all be labeled by our favorite color instead, sue me.