i’m doing the biggest and scariest exams of my life right now and reading your posts has become my favourite study-break activity. Thank you for keeping me sane!
Good luck!! Have a token, like a messed up lady and her studious knight.
"Is this part of the exam?"
"Excuse me?" The villain turned to stare at the protagonist, startled. They did not look like the sort of person who was easily started.
"The entrance exam?" the protagonist asked. "For the hero academy?"
The villain, for that was surely what they were, blinked.
The protagonist's head tilted.
"No," the villain said. "I - no. What?"
"I suppose you would have to say that," the protagonist said. "So we take it seriously."
"You wouldn't normally take being kidnapped seriously?"
"It was just a question."
"This is real," the villain said, slow and deliberate, like the protagonist was being particularly stupid. "This isn't a test."
"Oh," the protagonist said. "Sorry."
"You won't be hurt so long as you co-operate-"
The protagonist slipped the ropes free behind their back and shook out their wrists.
The villain's eyes widened.
The protagonist shrugged, apologetic. "Hero academy," they said, as if that explained everything. Which, really, it should. What kind of self-respecting would-be hero couldn't get out of ropes in a tough spot?
"Right," the villain said. "You're a wannabe hero. Do you know who I am?"
"I don't know," the protagonist said. "A bad guy who kidnaps people?"
"I'm Malefix."
That gave the protagonist pause. Nerves tightened in the pit of their belly. A creeping horror. There was no way, was there, that the world's leading supervillain would be helping out on an entrance exam.
No. No way. Absolutely not. It wasn't Malefix, it was some wannabe liar. The thought was comforting. They gave the villain a pitying look.
"Are you though?" the protagonist asked, slow and deliberate, like the villain was being particularly stupid. "Why would Malefix be kidnapping me?"
"Because your magical energy readings are off the chart. Shouldn't someone applying to hero academy know that?"
The protagonist stared at the supervillain.
The supervillain stared back.
Nah. No way.
"I still think this is a test," the protagonist said. "It's not like my powers are particularly cool or anything. I'm not the Justiciar."
"Oh for-" The villain closed their eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. They lifted a hand, dark energy warping out of their palm. The room around them turned dark and cold and the protagonist was filled with the most profound sense of doom. Their knees went wobbly.
Actually Malefix. Shit. Hot damn. Wow.
"Huh," the protagonist managed. They released a steadying breath as the villain's power faded. "How did they get you to help with the entrance exams?"
"This isn't an entrance exam!"
"Well, it's going to have to be, because I plan to start next September, the protagonist said, a little shrill. "I don't have time to be kidnapped. The Admissions Department might call me!"
"Were you dropped on your head as a child?!"
"That's not a very professional thing to say! That's mean."
"Oh dear god." The supervillain began to laugh. Not funny laugh. Sort of like they were having a crisis. "You know what. Yeah. This is a test. Congratulations. You passed."
The protagonist sagged in relief and triumph.
"I knew it! Will you write me a recommendation letter?"
"...You want a recommendation letter from a supervillain for hero college?"
"Who better to convince the Admissions Team that I'll be a terrifying asset? It's not like anything usually happens here. Best I got was a convenience store robbery and someone's cat in a tree."
"That poor robber."
The protagonist nodded. "I think I did a good job. To the police department with minimal damage. Come on. Please? Villains like pleading don't they? Please."
The villain considered them, expression unreadable once more. As cool as they had been when they walked in. Then, they dragged a hand over their face and walked over to the desk. "Have you got paper? For the letter?"
"Who uses paper? Jesus. Take my laptop. How old are you?"
The villain raised an eyebrow. "Do they have a unit on cyber-security at hero school?"
"I think so," the hero said, handing the villain their computer. Their brow furrowed. "It's the combat I'm excited for though! I'm not that good in a fight. I always feel a little mean. But I'm sure it will help if they deserve it."
"And how will you prove you didn't just write this letter yourself?"
"Don't you have like an official email or something?"
The villain's lip twitched.
"It's not funny," the protagonist said. "This is my education on the line."
"I'm sure I'd feel worse about it if you didn't ruin my kidnapping."
"Ooh. Can I have that quoted?"
"Paper. Now."
The protagonist sighed, but found a notebook stuffed in the back of the drawer. "I'm not sure how this proves it's you more than an email."
The villain ignored them, setting to work.
The protagonist craned, trying to see.
"I will put you through the wall," the villain said. "If you keep crowding me."
The protagonist considered, then stepped back, reluctantly.
"Wise choice," the villain said. "I was starting to wonder if you were capable of them."
"Hey!"
The villain handed them the notebook back.
The protagonist immediately flipped to the right page, a little worried at how long and glowing such a letter could be, when the villain did it so fast.
To whom it may concern
If you don't take them, they will be worse than me. Also update your security and containment procedures.
Yours in bemusement
M
"Hey," the protagonist said, "do you think maybe-"
They looked up.
The villain was gone.
The morning after they received the letter, the Head of School called them up personally.
Needless to say, the protagonist got in.
