~~~Shadowheart Character Analysis~~~
So the post I made about Minthara did really well so I may do more of these and put my minor in Film and Media Studies to some use.
So, Shadowheart, aka Jenevelle Hallowleaf. Everyone’s favorite cleric, and God’s favorite princess.
So on my first playthrough I really tried to keep an open mind regarding all of the companions. I had never played Dungeons and Dragons (except for one time in college where I was functionally another characters squire/human backpack for a single session) and so I didn’t really understand any of the lore regarding realms, gods/goddesses, religion or the cultures of the Sword Coast. I only finally caved and bought BG3 when I had a fantasy RPG itch to scratch and nothing else seemed to be doing it.
Thank god I did tho holy hells.
So back to my first playthrough, I didn’t understand the big deal when Shadowheart admitted her faith and devotion to Shar. My first immediate thought to be completely honest was “well at least this god isn’t trying to kill us (for now).”
I figured since Selûne and Shar were sisters, there would be a rivalry of sorts akin to Zeus and other Olympians, but I didn’t quite expect all-out warfare between believers of opposing factions.
After finding the shrines to Selûne and later the Selûnite temple in Act 1, I figured since the Selûnite faith was so mundane that Shar couldn’t possibly be any different…
Boy, was I wrong, but I digress.
As I said, I tried to keep an open mind on my companions' beliefs and lives. When I learned of Gale’s, *ahem*, rather explosive dilemma, I sought to help him no matter the cost. When I discovered Karlach and Wyll's intertwined destiny, I figured I could assist in some way, despite not knowing much about the Hells. Even when I met Astarion and Lae’zel, who, despite their collective thorniness, were looking for an out to their respective situations, I knew I could do something and go along with whatever they needed.
However, as I learned more about Shadowheart, I only became more concerned. I realized she doesn’t just revere her goddess, she expects Shar to be her savior. She expects that her devotion and sacrifice will be rewarded with an ease to her suffering, an end to the pain, but pain is all Shar can provide to her faithful.
Shar does not take pain, loss or suffering AWAY from her followers; she expands it, and in turn, expects them to understand why. Shar does not want followers; she wants servants who will live and die and convert others to do the same, all for her grand scheme of destroying her sister and those who worship her. Shar has no endgame beyond that. If Selûne were to, for some reason, be able to be destroyed by the push of a button, and Shar along with it, Shar wouldn’t even hesitate to be the one to press it.
Which brings me back to Shadowheart, who, likewise, has no endgame.
I don’t mean it in the sense that she doesn’t know what to do when she returns to her cloister; I mean that without her memories of anything, she has nothing waiting for her. All she knows is upon her return, her memories will be granted back to her, only to be taken again pending her next assignment. All part of a self-destructive cycle of pain and loss to continually wear her down until she is just an empty shell, with her memories gone and her usefulness deteriorated, at which point Shar no longer needs her.
And that’s when it clicked for me.
CONTEXT: I had a very religious upbringing. I won’t go into details, but my life here on Earth was nothing more than my ability to live the faith and bring others into it. When I turned 18, I knew I had two choices: Continue the faith, spread the gospel as a missionary for two years in some place I didn’t get to choose, surrounded by people who don’t want me there, or go to college and start the rest of my life.
I knew if I left on a mission, I would be stuck in an endless cycle of faith and I would have to leave everything and everyone I knew behind and start over wherever I end up once it was over. No direct communication, no phone calls, and no distractions.
So, back to Shadowheart, the reason I grew concerned for the constitution of her character and well-being, rather than supportive of her choices, is because I saw pieces of myself buried under the surface of Shar’s desperate grasp on her soul.
I realized all the doubts she has about herself were the same doubts I had about myself. Am I good enough? Will I please my god? What will they think of me? Will my family accept me no matter what? Will they hate me? Why can’t I just be a good believer? Why can’t everything just make sense? Why don’t I feel loved? Are you there, God?
As the game progresses, we learn more about Shadowheart. She was just a girl. A girl with a family, all of whom are now Shar’s victims. She was broken down piece by piece, writing notes to herself just to try and help her remember who she was in case they ripped her memories out again. A girl who never knew a life outside the cold walls of Shar’s cloister under the house of grief, a girl who only knew love under conditions.
But in the words of Dame Aylin, “you are a woman now.”
Now, with the truth in hand, Shadowheart has something she’s never had before. A choice in what she wants to do.
Progressing your relationship with Shadowheart shows she is just as concerned with her family members imprisoned by Shar as with what could happen to her newest family, the player. She wants to free her parents just as much as she wants to be free to live her life with the one she loves, and you, as the player, can support that.
I helped Shadowheart through the Gauntlet of Shar. I knew this was setting her down a road that I couldn’t follow, but unlike Shar or Viconia, it would be fundamentally wrong to deny her a choice of her own after so many years of abuse and having her destiny be directed by someone else.
I think this is what makes Shadowheart’s ultimate choice in Act II, whether to spare or slay the Daughter of Selûne in the heart of the Shadowfell, the climax of her and the player’s decisions. Telling Shadowheart to make her own decision and promising to stand by her no matter what comes is the straw that breaks the camel's back. For once, Shadowheart understands that the choices she makes are her choices, and that no matter how many times her memories are suppressed, the consequences of her actions will linger forever. Shadowheart doesn’t want to be remembered as a killer. She doesn’t want to be a fierce Dark Justiciar, and she certainly doesn’t want the honor of leading Shar’s church. She just wants to have someone have her back for the first time in her life.
With my own personal religious trauma, seeing a character in fiction struggle with their self-worth and seeking out someone to understand them, not judge them, made me feel something that I can’t really say I’ve ever felt in a video game. Shadowheart wants to be loved in ways that can be interpreted as juvenile, but she never got to BE a juvenile. Her childhood was stolen from her, and after overcoming decades of arrested development because of it, she finds herself as an adult without a proper place in the world. She does things she thinks will make people love her. She follows the orders of Shar and Viconia because she hopes the pain of being unloved will go away when she obeys. When you, as the player, tell her you’ll love her (platonically or romantically) regardless of her actions and that no matter what she does, you won’t abandon her, she breaks down the wall she’s built up to protect herself.
In a single moment, there on an island floating in the Shadowfell, Shadowheart finally understands. She risks an eternity of torment at the hands of Shar by defying her and branding herself as an outcast, all for someone she barely met, who sees her for who she is. The player doesn’t help Shadowheart by telling them what they think the right thing to do is; the player helps Shadowheart by encouraging her to do the right thing for herself.
In summary: Shadowheart isn’t just your average fish out of water story. There are layers upon layers of trauma being inflicted on her. She’s doesn’t open up to you at first just because she respects you as the player, but because she also feels she has no choice or that some harm could befall her if she doesn’t come clean to the party about her Shar worship. She doesn’t expect compassion from who Shar views as infidels, but what she doesn’t know is that not everyone in the world would whip or scourge her because of who she is. There is an obvious shift in Shadowheart’s demeanor when she realizes that no matter who she is her party of friends would never betray her the way her adoptive family would.
To circle back one more time, specifically to the questions I used to ask myself:
Shadowheart’s God was always there, gleaming brightly in the night sky, she just didn’t know it yet.