uhh. just here for fic recs and such. bnha, one piece, teen wolf, hp, yada yada. haven't had tumblr in YEARS, so idk what i'm doing. oh, and i write (sometimes problematic) fics. they/them
Rating: Explicit
Archive warnings: No archive warnings apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Relationship: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Additional tags: Crack, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Stiles Stilinski is a Nice Thing, Getting Together, Vernon Boyd and Erica Reyes Live, Erica Reyes is a Little Shit, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Pack Alpha Derek Hale, Scott McCall is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Smut, Potential first time (unspecified), Minor Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Alcohol
Language: English
Words: 6,032
Chapters: 2/2
Summary:
“Stiles…”
“Yeah, buddy?” he says through a mouthful.
There’s a crinkle followed by silence, and he raises his head to glance over at where Derek is standing, still not far from the door. The man pulls a little plastic container close to his nose and hesitantly sniffs it. Stiles almost wishes he’d thought to film this glorious moment, but he actually values his life. Somewhat. Not enough to not do this, but enough to not film it.
“Is this-… Why is there whipped cream in here?”
To be fair, Stiles did also get him a double whatever-kind-of burger, with bacon! So he can’t be too mad, can he? Stiles really hopes not, because he can’t help snorting so hard he almost chokes on a fry. Finally, he clears his throat and says,
“It’s a pup cup!”
Silence.
“Because… Because you’re uh…”
“I highly suggest you do not finish that sentence. Not if you value your arms”.
“M-my arms?”
“Because I will break them”.
“Yep. Uh-huh, yeah no, that’s… yep. You got it. Shutting up!”
my new favorite genre of fanfiction that i wish there was more of is Teen Wolf x Criminal Minds crossover fics where after the events of teen wolf (show, not the movie), Stiles goes on to work for the BAU and joins the Criminal Minds team. then one day they get a case in Beacon Hills and Stiles has to go there with his new team from the BAU while dealing with the Beacon Hills pack too.
bonus points if the case has to do with Stiles personally
saw a post saying "what screams bad/cringe writing to you?" but it was in a community thing. i have so many thoughts on this i HAD to comment though. so i joined the community... only to instantly lose the fucking post. now i'm so angry about that shit i'm considering leaving the community. fuck you for doing this to me tumblr 🫠
ANYWAY, i'm just gonna list my personal pet peeves in writing and some random opinions (not all bad/cringe necessarily. some is just preference). feel free to add to it with your own thoughts!!
1. in A/B/O fics i hate when they call each other by their designation. like alpha, beta, omega, y'know?i mean, like they don't have names?? to me it feels like going around like "ah yes, hello man", "hello woman" and shit. it's fucking weird.
a couple of times i can put up with it in a steamy rut/heat scene, but you know, it gets to a point where i'm just... nah, fuck this. i'm out.
2. first/second person pov. i'm sorry. the story isn't about me. it's not about you. it's about [character]. i refuse to read anything first or second pov. i physically can't make myself do it. the writing itself could be an absolute masterpiece, and i still just... i can't.
3. if you don't tag recreational drug use (or other things that can be obviously triggering) then you're a piece of shit. fact. no arguments. to be clear; forgetting is fine! that's human. but leaving it out on purpose when you know it could be harmful? then i hope you choke on cold spaghetti.
4. when you refer to a character by first/last name inconsistently. (think it might be especially common with japanese names?) like in a my hero academia fic for example; either call him izuku, or call him midoriya. unless you swap because you're writing from multiple characters' perspective, and they call him by different names... maybe stick to one?? (sometimes i heck it up, too. just not thinking about it. but then i become hyper aware of it, and goooood it bugs me!)
5. "the blonde said", "the older one said" etc. a few times is fine. but when you overuse characteristics like this... did you forget their name and pronoun, or what's going on? i get not wanting to be repetitive, but there are better ways. sometimes repetition isn't all bad either. maybe it's not perfect, but it might still be preferable once in a while. everything in moderation!
6. "orbs" instead of eyes. i will yeet my phone.
7. terrible uncharacteristic/unrealistic lack of communication as a lazy way to create angst/drama. cry me a river, 'cause i sure ain't crying it for you over this fic. no communication at all doesn't make it angsty. (not saying bad communication is always bad for plot. just that there's a limit to everything, y'know?)
8. love triangle/cheating
9. hurt no comfort
10. AFAB parts in mature/explicit rated stories - solely because it triggers my own dysphoria. so i hate seeing my M/M pair where someone has a vajayjay, because it makes it impossible for me to read it without wanting to crawl out of my own skin. at the same time i love knowing it exists, because representation, y'know? (so i guess it's only really a pet peeve if not tagged, but i figured i'd include it anyway. sometimes i find it a bit awkwardly tagged, so it can be a little difficult to filter.)
11. mpreg, or fics where the ship has children somehow. i don't necessarily hate kids, just the idea of having them. i don't want them irl, and i don't see why i would ever want them in a fic?? i want my ship to be their own little family consisting of the two of them. and their friends/other family members, yes. but i don't wanna see them wasting time on acquiring some little creature that's just an annoying lifelong commitment?? when they could just spend that time on each other. (this one is very personal, lol. i know sooo many people will disagree! that's fine, you do you, mate!)
12. "wannabe-panese". i can tolerate for example "nii-san" in certain scenarios, because i think "big brother" sounds weird. but so does the name in certain scenarios, ergo...
and i can tolerate nicknames like for example "torao" instead of "tra-guy" (one piece) because "torao" just sounds better.
i can sometimes tolerate honorifics (-san -chan etc.) if you know fluently how to use them (stop it with the -sama crap).
but the second people start mixing in shit like "sugoi", "hai", "tadaima", "itadakimasu" in the middle of conversation, i wanna throw up. there's a fucking limit and for me you cross it with that shit.
13. switching between past/present tense. (he said/he says) but i know how hard this can be sometimes. like, you've no idea how i've struggled with this. i probably still mess up sometimes! so it doesn't bother me if the story still flows well, and it's a rare occurence. but if it's every other sentence, it gives my brain a bad sorta itch.
14. lastly (unless i decide to add to this later), this one is, to my knowledge, fandom specific; when people describe midoriya izuku as a "greenette". just... no. don't. i beg. i will stop reading this fic immediately, i'm sorry. i HATE that word with my entire being.
i'd love to see other peoples' pet peeves in writing!! what bothers you? what makes you cringe, or feel like a story is 'bad'? 👀
I can't stand fics without paragraph breaks. I can deal if the paragraphs are long and if I'm reading something explicit I'm even willing to excuse you if there are multiple speakers in one thing but only if your fic isn't too dialogue based. If you have more than 3 paragraphs that are bigger than my computer screen, instant drop. But if I'm reading a fic for plot, my rules for grammar definitely heighten.
I can handle "blonde" and "brunette" but when you start going "greenette" or some shit like "bluenette" I can't, just say "blue-haired" or "green-haired" it ain't hard.
As mentioned above "blonde" and "brunette" are okay, but if a character referred to is someone the main character knows really well, I don't think it's so smart. Using it for someone like a fellow classmate makes sense or a cousin makes sense, but doing it to people who are close doesn't.
Switching character POVs without much of a clear border between the change.
A/B/O fics in general aren't my fancy but by all the stars in the night, I don't really like giving omegas a pussy. The whole point of omegaverse was literally so they didn't have to give guys pussies (no shame to those who have them, love and support trans people) and didn't have to bring in lube.
Also uh, on the topic of omegas, giving them "cocklets" …I just… it's okay for them to be smaller and all, it's kinda expected, but the idea of that just feels weird… like… just give him a normal or small one, I don't need it to be like that.
Tagging CNC as non-con… I can understand you may do that if you don't exactly have a talk through at the beginning, but if I'm looking for CNC, I usually tag out the non-con tag and when I forget to I'll just find a few fics labelled non-con that are CNC. It's weird.
Trying to excuse a bad character. This is just me, but if I like a character that's fucked up, I don't necessarily like that fucked up part but I do understand that it's essential to the character and is something we're not meant to forgive. So fics we're they're like "Yeah, this guy's a murderer and a killer and an overall piece of shit, but it's okay because I gave him trauma" or when it's all "Yeah, she was awful to her friends and bullied her classmates and got an innocent in trouble and put people in danger but she's just a girl." I understand it can be hard to like a character that's bad, but you have to understand that's the point of the character.
That's really all I gotta say. Anyone else wanna add on?
Was just going to be a quick sketch to add on as a bonus to the first post but it kinda took on a life of its own lol
Coming up with sleep-talk for stiles is just too much fun! Context for the curious under the cut
Panel one sleeptalk is taken directly from the wikipedia page on the Cook-Levin theorem i ended up at after yet another a night of snow-balling wikipedia articles about subjects i barely understand lol. I love advanced physics and maths topics, they end up with the most uncomprehensible jargon 😂
Panel two is where my brain immediately went when I learned that, in very early stages of foetal development, gravity is needed for the development of the first axis (basically how the cells can decide what's 'up' vs 'down'). My brain went 'what if someone got pregnant in zero g then - mutant babies in space!!'. There's actual research on this btw.
Panel three is a stray thought i had a couple weeks ago leading to what I'm sure is a very entertaining string of google searches for my FBI guy to go through. Unfortunately the sodium and chloride contents of the cerebrospinal fluid isn't a high enough concentration to consider it a brine, and thus the brain a pickle, but hey. One can certainly argue the point!
Panel four is just... Well. Your bones are wet! What the fuck!
when the bf insists on going to a college party only to conk out on the designated jacket-chair in the corner, so you get called to go pick him up
Sleep-deprived-stiles falling asleep in inopportune places and long-suffering derek picking him up and lugging him home, my beloved 🫶
Inspired by Oblivious Misadventures, and Other Such Tales by @always-the-little-spoon, that does this trope beautifully along with an oblivious Scott as outsider POV - what's not to like!
What was supposed to just be a little add-on that took on a life of it's own, so it gets its own post instead: [part 2]
Since idk if I'll ever flesh any of this out and make proper fics of it, I thought I'd start sharing some prompts/ideas that I keep in my notes just in case. (Most of it will probably be crack, because that's my favorite thing to write.) So if you wanna use anything here, go for it! (All I ask is that you let me know if you do, because I think it would be so much fun, and if this inspires anyone, I'd love to see it!)
May or may not add to this whenever I think of something new.
- Stiles hears mumbling from the kitchen and approaches. "...need to fuck", is what he catches Derek saying to someone just as he rounds the corner. He pats the werewolf on the back and says, "Yeah, tell me about it! You and me both, buddy. You and me both..." Derek doesn't wear his usual frown anymore. All of a sudden, his eyebrows are raised, and he looks at Stiles like he's an idiot. "What? Everyone needs to get laid every once in awhile, it's not-", he trails off as Derek scoffs, rolls his eyes and spins the bottle in his hand. Stiles squints and leans over to read the label. "Okay, so...? I don't get it. Nit del foc? What's a Nit del f-... oh". He swallows and clears his throat, and Derek... Stiles could swear he looks amused. At least he isn't frowning. That's something, isn't it? "So... no nit to foc then?" is the stupid thing he blurts out before he can properly think it through. Derek looks at him incredulously. "Wh- I still think you do! Maybe you'd be less of a sourwolf if you just got some already, y'know?" Ah. There's the frown. Actually, Derek looks like he's going to murder him, and because Stiles values his life, he slinks around him and backs away slowly, muttering things like, "Yep. Going. I'm going. I'm just gonna... Okay, yeah. Consider me gone". (Derek goes to find him later and gives him a good, hard foc...)
- The "world's best dad" mug, and Stiles' incessant nagging about it. That's it. That's the idea.
- "I'm sorry, sheriff. I might have the ability to resist the pull of the full moon. But I'm not strong enough to resist the pull of him".
- Derek hears the sheriff cock his gun on the other side of the wall, and gently pushes Stiles away. Still sitting on Derek's lap, but no longer making out. "What's wrong?" "You... Yeah, no, your dad's awake and he's got a loaded gun. Pretty sure that's his way of telling me not to push it". Stiles groans and says, maybe a little too loud, "Dude! I've got a loaded gun! And I very much wanna shoot it, 'kay?" Derek hears the sheriff make a tortured noise. Actually, Stiles probably hears it, too. "Yeah, so he's gonna need to get away from the wall," he says raising his voice just a bit. "Because this is our house, and I'm a consenting adult!" Only Derek hears the grumbled, "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to like it..." before they both catch the footsteps going down the stairs, and then the old gramophone playing soft 40s jazz. Derek hears a brief clink clink, letting him know that the sheriff is getting a (probably very much needed) nightcap. "So?" Stiles says. "Gonna lock and give me a load or what?" Derek groans and buries his face against Stiles' chest, but can't help but chuckle saying, "I still can't believe I'm actually in love with you".
ok so update; i can't help myself, and i'm totally working on the first two right now lol. (of course if anyone still wants to do them, i think it would be so much fun!)
if anyone's interested to see what i'm doing with the prompts, here it is (still in progress at the time of writing this, but will probably be finished by the time anyone actually sees this):
saw a post saying "what screams bad/cringe writing to you?" but it was in a community thing. i have so many thoughts on this i HAD to comment though. so i joined the community... only to instantly lose the fucking post. now i'm so angry about that shit i'm considering leaving the community. fuck you for doing this to me tumblr 🫠
ANYWAY, i'm just gonna list my personal pet peeves in writing and some random opinions (not all bad/cringe necessarily. some is just preference). feel free to add to it with your own thoughts!!
1. in A/B/O fics i hate when they call each other by their designation. like alpha, beta, omega, y'know?i mean, like they don't have names?? to me it feels like going around like "ah yes, hello man", "hello woman" and shit. it's fucking weird.
a couple of times i can put up with it in a steamy rut/heat scene, but you know, it gets to a point where i'm just... nah, fuck this. i'm out.
2. first/second person pov. i'm sorry. the story isn't about me. it's not about you. it's about [character]. i refuse to read anything first or second pov. i physically can't make myself do it. the writing itself could be an absolute masterpiece, and i still just... i can't.
3. if you don't tag recreational drug use (or other things that can be obviously triggering) then you're a piece of shit. fact. no arguments. to be clear; forgetting is fine! that's human. but leaving it out on purpose when you know it could be harmful? then i hope you choke on cold spaghetti.
4. when you refer to a character by first/last name inconsistently. (think it might be especially common with japanese names?) like in a my hero academia fic for example; either call him izuku, or call him midoriya. unless you swap because you're writing from multiple characters' perspective, and they call him by different names... maybe stick to one?? (sometimes i heck it up, too. just not thinking about it. but then i become hyper aware of it, and goooood it bugs me!)
5. "the blonde said", "the older one said" etc. a few times is fine. but when you overuse characteristics like this... did you forget their name and pronoun, or what's going on? i get not wanting to be repetitive, but there are better ways. sometimes repetition isn't all bad either. maybe it's not perfect, but it might still be preferable once in a while. everything in moderation!
6. "orbs" instead of eyes. i will yeet my phone.
7. terrible uncharacteristic/unrealistic lack of communication as a lazy way to create angst/drama. cry me a river, 'cause i sure ain't crying it for you over this fic. no communication at all doesn't make it angsty. (not saying bad communication is always bad for plot. just that there's a limit to everything, y'know?)
8. love triangle/cheating
9. hurt no comfort
10. AFAB parts in mature/explicit rated stories - solely because it triggers my own dysphoria. so i hate seeing my M/M pair where someone has a vajayjay, because it makes it impossible for me to read it without wanting to crawl out of my own skin. at the same time i love knowing it exists, because representation, y'know? (so i guess it's only really a pet peeve if not tagged, but i figured i'd include it anyway. sometimes i find it a bit awkwardly tagged, so it can be a little difficult to filter.)
11. mpreg, or fics where the ship has children somehow. i don't necessarily hate kids, just the idea of having them. i don't want them irl, and i don't see why i would ever want them in a fic?? i want my ship to be their own little family consisting of the two of them. and their friends/other family members, yes. but i don't wanna see them wasting time on acquiring some little creature that's just an annoying lifelong commitment?? when they could just spend that time on each other. (this one is very personal, lol. i know sooo many people will disagree! that's fine, you do you, mate!)
12. "wannabe-panese". i can tolerate for example "nii-san" in certain scenarios, because i think "big brother" sounds weird. but so does the name in certain scenarios, ergo...
and i can tolerate nicknames like for example "torao" instead of "tra-guy" (one piece) because "torao" just sounds better.
i can sometimes tolerate honorifics (-san -chan etc.) if you know fluently how to use them (stop it with the -sama crap).
but the second people start mixing in shit like "sugoi", "hai", "tadaima", "itadakimasu" in the middle of conversation, i wanna throw up. there's a fucking limit and for me you cross it with that shit.
13. switching between past/present tense. (he said/he says) but i know how hard this can be sometimes. like, you've no idea how i've struggled with this. i probably still mess up sometimes! so it doesn't bother me if the story still flows well, and it's a rare occurence. but if it's every other sentence, it gives my brain a bad sorta itch.
14. lastly (unless i decide to add to this later), this one is, to my knowledge, fandom specific; when people describe midoriya izuku as a "greenette". just... no. don't. i beg. i will stop reading this fic immediately, i'm sorry. i HATE that word with my entire being.
i'd love to see other peoples' pet peeves in writing!! what bothers you? what makes you cringe, or feel like a story is 'bad'? 👀
Post-Nogitsune Stiles ends up touch-starved because everyone stands just a little bit further away now. Walking side by side with Scott who doesn't bump his shoulder anymore, and Lydia sitting across from him at the cafeteria table instead of next to him.
Of course he doesn't blame them for it. He kidnapped Lydia and stabbed Scott through the gut.
So if Stiles soaks up the sensation of Derek manhandling him every time the guy gets frustrated, that's between himself and his ongoing sexuality crisis.
sterek in which stiles takes “don’t call me dude” a lot more seriously but also a lot sillier
s: dude! guess what I found-
d: don’t call me dude
s: *rolls eyes* fine, honey bunch, guess what I found out about the creature we’re tracking
and
s: du-
d: don’t call me dude
s: *deep sigh through nose* okay then, sweetheart, can you believe roscoe stalled out again?
until he’s just calling derek by sweet little pet names and neither of them realize it until someone (probably scott idk) is like “….so when did you guys get together?” and they’re both turning bright red on the realization that they didn’t hate the pet names or the fact that someone mistook them for a couple
