[glowcowboy]

we must believe the love is worth the risk of whatever comes after btw

[docturporber]

what’s a good name for a short story about the mona lisa falling in love with a girl who visits her painting every day

[docturporber]

my cat is BULLYING ME

she was in a bedroom because that’s where we want her to sleep so she started twanging the door spring thingy and i went to see her and she had her lil paw under the door so i open it just wide enough that she can’t and i’m like aw do you want some lovins or do you need to go potty and she moved behind the door more so i stick my head in

and this little brat put ger two tiny little paws on the door and pushed and TRIED TO SLAM THE DOOR ON MY HEAD

i of course move back because like you little shit wtf

only to realize this was a DISTRACTION as she darts away to her escape

so in summary i have decided the dog is my favorite because she, my doggy, my lovely girl, would never treat me like this 💅

[docturporber]

i slightly understand role players now because my best friend and i are on zoom rn and we’re pretending to be sherlock and watson finding a serial killer killing men with thiccc asses (while using very bad british accents and slang)

[docturporber]

now we’re two old southern men having a mildly gay conversation

(we’re gonna leave our wives and brad (her), dave (me), and jeremy are gonna all get married)

[docturporber]

i slightly understand role players now because my best friend and i are on zoom rn and we’re pretending to be sherlock and watson finding a serial killer killing men with thiccc asses (while using very bad british accents and slang)

[docturporber]

my friend gave me a tarot reading using cards against humanity cards at 1 AM in my kitchen using a deep fryer as a table and i just really like the vibes of that

she also kept dropping the cards lmao

[docturporber]

crap i did that should’ve gotten me in trouble

flipped off the vice principal for dresscoding my friend

threw a water bottle at a kid for being sexist (the teacher didn’t believe him and he had to apologize for trying to throw it back)

threw a wet rag at a kid (and called him a bitch)

cursed out the vice principal within hearing range for dresscoding my friend (again)

said ‘fuck you’ and flipped off a kid who asked me if i was on my period

threw a wet paper towel at this dude for spraying my lunchbox with fart spray

punch a dude in the shoulder because he wouldn’t move out of the way of my locker

there’s probably more but i forgot them YEET

[docturporber]

i just remembered there was this kid that was crowding these two girls and they told him they were uncomfortable with how close he was but he wouldn’t move and i told him “they told you to back up. so back the fuck up before i make you back the fuck up” and that was the first time i have made a boy feel real fear and i have not stopped since

[docturporber]

i hate that my only way to contact my teachers is through email rn because i sound so very well spoken and posh in my emails but if we go back to physical school they’re going to hear me call my friend a pee pee poo poo head and all that will be washed down the drain.

[docturporber]

me, wearing a regular masc/butch outfit: nice

me, when the pants i’m wearing have a lot of space in the crotch:

i am so MANLY i’m wearing MAN PANTS with lot of CROTCH SPACE for man with BIG PEEN

[docturporber]

i mentioned this to my mother and we started LOUDLY talking about my peen space right as a man came down the aisle and she didn’t realize.

so i’m very sorry to the man who heard me and my mother discussing how much room my giant peen needed

[docturporber]

this is tinny fork he crackles a bit but it doesn’t matter

also he loves you so keep that in mind

he is made of tape and tinfoil and broken plastic fork with a little bit of sharpie...

AND A WHOLE HEAP OF LOVE

[docturporber]

me, wearing a regular masc/butch outfit: nice

me, when the pants i’m wearing have a lot of space in the crotch:

i am so MANLY i’m wearing MAN PANTS with lot of CROTCH SPACE for man with BIG PEEN

[docturporber]

the doctors gave me DRUGS for my SKIN

SKIN DRUGS

to make the SKIN have MORE DRUGS and LESS BUMPS

[docturporber]

any other lgbtq+ peeps living in an ultra conservative town/state ever see a pride flag and just like !!!! and you gotta be discreet about it so no one sees

but in your head it’s like ‘one point to the gays’ 👏

[docturporber]

i fall asleep, rhapsody in blue is playing.

i wake up. rhapsody in blue is still playing.

[docturporber]

one time i opened tiktok without realizing my phone was at full volume and the very first video was ARE YOU REPPING THE CORRECT LESBIAN FLAG

when i tell you my soul left my body

[docturporber]

would everyone on wattpad PLEASE stop responding to the comments i made on emo band fanfictions when i was like 12

it hurts my soul to look at them

i would bully my past self now

[docturporber]

reasons i should become a teacher

a uQuiz said i’d be a cool young teacher that just graduated and doesn’t know what i’m doing

i’m gay

i like literature, art, history, and science (i like math too and i’m kinda good at it but cite reason 2)

we need more good teachers i feel like i could be a good teacher

i’m a liberal trying to infiltrate the school system and poison your children’s minds (obviously)

dark academia

i like school

i’m gen z

i can and will insinuate every main character is gay

i wish to experience first hand how funny high school and high schoolers are with future generations