Doogeth's Eternal Shitpost of a Blog @doggyreecey - Tumblr Blog

Women: we do not like catcalling do not do this thing

Men: wHAT IMPOSSIBLE I AM MAN I MUST DO THING THIS IS AMERICA

cat-memes-only

“What is this and why do I enjoy it”

babyanimalgifs

TEDDY BEAR TRUST FALL

hella-amberpricefield

THERE’S GONNA BE A DOG IN THE LAST OF US 2 AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF THEY KILL THE DOG I WILL KILL MYSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE

doggyreecey

@penguinsgoldengoose

mysharona1987

Never mind the “Who shot first?” stuff; THIS is the defining moment of the Han Solo character:

Everyone else was just like: “Oh, fuck: It’s Vader!” and standing around in shock and terror when Vader was revealed. Even Chewie.

Most people, I suspect, would have that reaction.

Meanwhile, Han’s first reaction, instinctively, in less than a second, was to grab a gun and try to flat-out end the guy.

He failed, of course. But God Damn if you can’t appreciate the effort.

mandatheginger-deactivated20170

Also, he grabs his girl’s hand. Not only is he going to end Vader, he’s going to do so while reassuring the woman he loves that this monster who tortured her won’t hurt her again as long as he’s there to do something about it.

mysharona1987

The point of this scene:

Han was nothing to Vader. Not really. Han was just a normal, average guy. Vader didn’t think too much of him.

“I have superpowers; you don’t!”

But then: doesn’t Han show more love, affection, guts and courage in this moment than any Jedi warrior ever could?

Thus, Vader is shown up.

cumaeansibyl

Attempting to kill an evil wizard with a regular gun is one of the most Han Solo things ever. I don’t think most people would even bother trying, because you can’t just shoot Darth Vader, right? Of course not. But Han’s gonna goddamn try it anyway.

mysharona1987

Yeah, basically’ Han tried.

Sometimes that’s all you can ever ask of someone.

kittykat8311

Just one of many reasons I love this man

deathpigeon

With Han, you never have to wonder, “Why didn’t he just shoot them?” Whenever you’d think that, he shoots them.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Han Solo is a practical soul and if he’s got the chance to just shoot them he’s gonna take it

morethanslightly

#ironically this turned into a thesis on why han probably shot first

galahadwilder

A sudden, terrifying thought

When you see an animal with its eyes set to the front, like wolves, or humans, that’s usually a predator animal.

If you see an animal with its eyes set farther back, though—to the side—that animal is prey.

Now look at this dragon.

See those eyes?

They’re to the SIDE.

This raises an interesting—and terrifying—question.

What in the name of Lovecraft led evolution to consider DRAGONS…

As PREY?

dorito-and-pinetree

I know this isn’t part of my blogs theme but like this is interesting

haiku-robot

i know this isn’t part of my blogs theme but like this is interesting

sicut-anima

What species hunts dragons for sport?

What species glorifies the slaughter of dragons as the sport of kings?

What species are you?

helly-watermelonsmellinfellon

Holy shit.

swolizard

If yall had payed any attention to that dragon in particular you would have gotten your answer.

While predatory animals do tend to have forward facing eyes in order to detect prey, this is not a constant in the realm of birds for a specific reason : not all birds are APEX predators despite being carnivores.

Take for example a duck. Although it naturally eats snails, fish eggs, algae, etc, it is not an apex predatory removed from the food chain and thus has offset eyes like so

While an APEX predatory such as the bald eagle has a flatter, narrower face that allows for forward facing eyes to detect prey at distance and grasp depth perception better, but this is still not perfectly forward eyes like mammalian apex predators.

Now, back to that dragon yall put forth earlier to provoke the question of what factor caused an elongated snout and hybrid offset eyes to occur.

The problem lies in the fact that Smaug was a tiny runt of a dragon, just like the duck is to any APEX bird such as an Eagle.

Take for example this size chart depicting dragons in that Universe and their respective size. It would be incredibly easy to understand why a smaller dragon such as SMAUG would have offset eyes as a flying predator.

Lastly, I would like to state that this could have all been mitigated by simply understanding what dragons are (in theory) REPTILES.

Reptiles break the mold for forward, flat faces altogether.

Take the Komodo Dragon. APEX predator with no competition besides from others of it’s species. Notice the eyes, while being able to position forward, are still offset and on the sides of the snout unlike mammalian predators

Monocular vision is not defined by eyes on the side of the head, but rather eyes that field of view does not overlap with the other (ruling out maximum depth perception).

Although reptiles have offset eyes (and dragons in theory) that does not mean their vision would fail to overlap.

Also, it would be laughable to consider humans as a reason for a flying god of death to evolve eyes to see something that could never catch it in the air, yet alone hunt it from there.

jointphotographicexportsgroup-d

mood: adam scott’s face at the exact moment that he realizes he’s about to meet mark hamill

jointphotographicexportsgroup-d

additional mood: adam scott’s face immediately after seeing mark hamill

teathattast

glumshoe

I pretend to be complex and clever but in reality, nothing has ever made me laugh harder than those bad Chinese subtitles from the bootleg Lord of the Rings DVDs. Tears streaming down my face, core aching, slowly suffocating because I’m laughing too hard.