Donāt leave meā¦please
Pairing: Suguru Geto x reader
Warning: Angst,heartbreak
A/n: I regret ever picking up jjk. I love the anime but it tears me into pieces more than my own writing. Anyway expect some angst in the coming days.
"If I left for good, would you be sad?", You heard Suguru ask. His eyes didn't seek yours like they used to. Instead, they remained fixed on the roof of your bedroom. It was out of the blue.
You'd been enjoying the comfortable silence between you both as his head rested idly in your lap. Drinking in each other's presence and enjoying the silent company. The empty cups of tea sat on your desk and the scratches of pencil against paper filled the room
"What kind of question is that, Suguru? You aren't planning something stupid, are you? Leave the stupid plans to Satoru," you scolded with a small smile on your face and yet his expression remained the same. Stoic. You glanced at him briefly before adjusting the nose on your sketch of him.
"Why? Because he's the strongest?", He asked.
Your eyes widened as you watched him, your once busy hands freed up to stroke his hair. He seemed to realize the impact of his actions a few moments later and shot you a small smile. It was too late. You'd seen straight through him. He had been bothered by something but you'd never expect it to be about Gojo.
"You're both considerably strong Geto. Who's stronger doesn't really matter as long as you're both safe. But to answer your question...if you left... death would be my only solace."
His breath hitched as the subtle rising and falling of his chest stopped. His head snapped to look you in the eyes finally. His black eyes stared into yours.
"Even if I left, I don't want you to stop living, ever. Do you understand?", He asked, his usual softness replaced by complete firmness.
You swallow harshly and send him a small nod. At the time it was an odd conversation between you both. It made no sense to you but he was your senior, you didn't think anything of it. You were a first year and yet you'd captured him entirely. Whether it was your sound course technique, your cute doodles or your ability to bake, you wrapped him around your finger.
The subtle glances you shot his way and the sly jokes you make, all of it made him love you even more.
"Stay safe. Don't be too hasty, don't get too close, okay?", He instructed as he got up from your lap, so you could get ready. It was your first solo mission and he was meant to head to a village to resolve issues there.
"Just come back in one piece okay?"
"I will," you said, smiling brightly at him.
If you'd known what would happen in that village, you'd have kissed him. You'd have forced him to stay. You'd have admitted you loved him there and then. You'd let him hear it from your own lips and absorb it into his soul. You'd have done everything in your power to stop him and take on the mission yourself. You wouldn't be storming past a crowd of people in Shinjuku trying to reach him.
"Geto, please stop this!"
"I'm sorry. But this is where our paths must differ."
"Geto, please! Please don't do this", You yelled to him causing him to stop.
He allowed you to close the distance between you both till you were standing in front of him. He had looked worse. Worse than he did before. He looked like he slept less than he did before.
"God. I've missed you. I really have," He said.
"Geto, please... come home."
"I can't", He said flashing you a smile. The smile you'd always loved, especially when he directed the smile towards you. But you didn't want it this way. Not in this situation.
"Why? Why can't you! Don't you care? About Gojo? Shoko? me-"
"I care more for you than you can imagine."
"I love you. I love you, I want you to be alive. That's part of the reason I'm doing this"
"Killing an entire village, I don't understand Suguru"
He laughed softly. His hand reached out to yours as he brought it up to his lips and pecked it. They were soft, you'd always imagined what it would be like to feel them against you but it wasn't like any of the fantasies in your head. It was more solemn. His hand rested under your chin as he tilted your face upward.
He paused as his eyes scanned your face. He was drinking in your appearance, every detail of how you looked and every memory of how you felt. He revelled in them because he wasn't sure when next he'd see you. He didn't want you to meet the same fate as the others. If killing all non-sorcerers was how he was going to stop it. He would kill them a thousand worlds over.
He brought his face closer to yours as his other hand rested on your waist. "I love you y/n. I always have. I always will. My actions don't have to make sense. Just know that I'll always think of you, I'll always only want you. Stay safe till I come back."
His lips collided with yours before you could respond. They fit together perfectly like it was always meant to be like this. You and him together. His lips accommodated yours, they danced alongside yours to a song that only the both of you knew. It was perfect. He was perfect for you.
He broke the kiss apart slowly and pecked you once more on the forehead before turning to leave. "I love you too Suguru...Don't leave ...please," you whispered as he made his way farther and farther away from you and into the abyss of the crowd. A small smile on his face and his mind filled with memories of the both of you.