tbh the worst thing about being a self aware mentally ill person is that people assume that because you understand your illness you’re automatically able to actually apply your knowledge to your life and cure yourself
Do I know my brain isn’t making the most sense right now? Yes. Can I stop it? No.
Me: I know what I should be doing but my brain has decided we’re not doing that
People: why are u so anxious
Me: I have anxiety
People: Now you know that you can get better
Me: knowing I have anxiety does not make me Less Anxious that is Not The Way Anxiety Works
People: Why are you doing that?
Me: I have OCD, so my brain spams me with terrifying thoughts until I do things to get rid of them. This is a compulsion.
People: So you know nothing bad will actually happen if you don’t do that! Why not just stop doing it?
Me: That is not how this works. That’s not how any mental illness works.
Me: *crying and hyperventilating over something objectively minor*
Someone: It’s not a big deal, why are you freaking out?
Me: *through sobs* I can’t… I can’t stop, I know it’s dumb… I know I shouldn’t be like this.
Them: Oh, well if you know that it’s dumb to freak out then why are you still freaking out?
Me: *sobbing harder because now I hate myself*
If you know your leg is broken you can’t magically walk on it like, knowing what’s wrong isn’t a cure ffs
“You’re over thinking all this.” Yes, thanks, I know that… It’s a symptom of anxiety and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it….
Oh god that last one…I had a doctor tell me that. The one prescribing my psych meds.
I dumped him the instant a replacement became available.
