The Domestic Duchess

[domesticduchess]

PSA: I’m not a bad mom, I’m not a bad mom, I’m not a bad mom...

PSA: I’m not a bad mom, I’m not a bad mom, I’m not a bad mom…

Whatever sick jerk decided to imbed violent and disturbing content into my daughter’s favorite cartoons needs to be shot…or does he?

E started a new daycare last Monday. She has since blessed them with three temper tantrums, including physical violence, gross belligerence, and her desire for their ultimate demise in hell. I was confused when told this. This did not sound like my precious…

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[domesticduchess]

15 Minutes Inside My Head

15 Minutes Inside My Head

This room is a royal mess right now…even down to the crowns on my London-themed T.J. Maxx reusable shopping bag. Why do I always feel compelled to buy those? Why do they make them so darn cute? Why do televisions attract so much dust? Static electricity? Why can’t I stop licking the inside of my front bottom two teeth? And why do they feel so slick? Did I even brush my teeth today? I honestly…

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[domesticduchess]

10 Easy Ways to Ruin Your Relationship

10 Easy Ways to Ruin Your Relationship

Finding the right person is hard. Keeping the right person is harder. Once you have them hooked, how do you get them to stay? We all struggle to sell ourselves to another person in the hopes they will be with us through thick and thin- providing companionship, family, and friendship- only to sabotage ourselves in the end.

The words “I love you” are uttered for the first time at the peak of…

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[domesticduchess]

Barefoot in the sand with my surf-loving shadow. #sand #sun #ocean #goodmorning https://www.instagram.com/p/BvohbV_hgBY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=x9b56yiiupas

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Lagniappe: The Gift Stash

Lagniappe: The Gift Stash

There is nothing more grating than realizing you forgot to buy a gift. Stopping off at TJ Maxx on the way to a birthday celebration only adds stress and typically contributes to a late arrival. And let’s be honest, no one wants to be part of the last-minute Christmas Eve shopping frenzy. Enter- the gift stash. My gift stash is simply a large lidded tote in my closet full of potential gifts. I use…

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[domesticduchess]

Skincare 101: Nighttime Routine

New post to my blog- Skincare 101: Nighttime Routine

Having great skin at any age is the result of good habits performed repeatedly every day and every night. There are no magic bullets when it comes to great skin and there is no hiding bad skin. Even the best of makeups will falter if your skincare is subpar. Nighttime is your body’s chance to rest, recharge, and reguvinate. Prepping your skin for sleep helps prevent fine lines, wrinkles, acne,…

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[domesticduchess]

Lagniappe: Ode to Popcorn

Lagniappe: Ode to Popcorn

My oldest daughter sent me a meme of Sponge Bob and Plankton in a sea of popcorn with the words “Mom and El”. I think I knew I had an addiction – now I know I have one. I make a batch about every other night and eat the entire, glorious thing…even the half-pops…especially the half-pops. Sometimes Eleanor helps me but for the most part, it’s just me. I think it’s hereditary. My mother was a huge…

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[domesticduchess]

10 ways to Kill A crappy mood

10 ways to Kill A crappy mood

I woke up yesterday morning and felt angry. There was no good reason for it but everything and everyone I encountered pissed me off. Maybe my hormones were off balance, maybe I didn’t sleep as well as I thought, maybe that third glass of wine was a bad idea. Whatever it was not only affected my mood but how I treated those around me. I needed to break out of it…fast. The problem with a bad mood…

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[domesticduchess]

the Dumbest Person in the Room

the Dumbest Person in the Room

“ You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn

When I look back over my life, the times I had the most drive and ambition were the times I surrounded myself with driven and ambitious people. They were encouragers. They were challengers. They were cheerleaders. They taught me that there are no barriers in life except myself. They were not complainers,…

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[domesticduchess]

Mini Me

“But I want to do what you did!” she screamed at me, her round face red and angry, her fists in tiny balls at her side. She was referring to the seasoning of duck in the crockpot before me. I had given it a drizzle of balsamic seconds earlier and hadn’t passed the bottle on to her to do as well. In my defense, I had cleaned up four of her messes earlier and had no interest in cleaning up a fifth.…

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[domesticduchess]

The battle cry of women everywhere. #sneakattack

[domesticduchess]

Have your keto and your cookies too!

Have your keto and your cookies too!

At the request of many of my readers, I am posting the recipe for my keto cookies. For those of you unfamiliar with the ketogenic diet, it is basically a stricter and cleaner version of Atkins. I encourage you to research the diet and see if it is right for you. I have lost 32 pounds over the course of approximately 13 months. The great thing about keto is it is very satiating. I naturally eat…

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[poems-and-word]

[domesticduchess]

Secrets of Strategic Self-Presentation Own yourself. If you’re dark and mysterious, or bright and bubbly, or a fabulous eccentric, effing own it. 759 more words

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#stayvulnerable https://www.instagram.com/p/Buuv_kMB3Jh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1m94kbfc083kc

[domesticduchess]

#longlivedanger

[domesticduchess]

Good night my darlings. #luxardo #johnnywalkergold #scotland https://www.instagram.com/p/BusMHeFhpYASGgxcC_bbn1k849Dn3lZOr6rIrM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1i3di5o35fkhb