Avengers are having a mandatory Field First Aid Session, going over CPR, shock treatment, moving an injured person safely, you know the drill. Then they get to setting an IV and Peter is a bit hesitant because needles. "Don't worry, nobody loves them." The instructor reassures but as soon the needle is in Peter's skin, the boy goes "Huh. Neat." and faints off the table he had been sitting on. And people get to patting his face, lifting feet, getting water and a cold compress
“I don’t even know why we’re doing this,” Peter mumbles as he takes his seat.
Tony raises an eyebrow. “Because of you. You’re the reason we’re doing this.”
“Why? Because you get hurt during your patrols the more than the rest of us combined on a mission, and even though I’m a billionaire, those bills might actually make me go bankrupt. So, yeah, you’re the reason.” Tony pauses. “And Capsicle and his philosophy of just walk it off.”
“You act like I ignore a broken leg and keep fighting and don’t say anything until days later all the time,” Steve says with an eye roll. “It only happened twice.”
“Exactly. It happened twice!”
“First aid is also a really useful skill to know,” Rhodey explains. “In any situation, not just superhero related ones. One day, maybe a school friend or even May gets hurt, and then you can actually help them instead of panicking and frantically asking Karen for help.”
Peter thinks about it before shrugging and mumbling a that’s a good enough reason.
Somehow, they found someone from the medical staff who was willing to try to teach the Avengers something about taking care of themselves and others (that couldn’t have been easy). They go through all the basic stuff you would find in any first aid class, as well as some treatments for their specific line of work. Like how much strength can someone with superstrength apply before they break something instead of fixing it or how to treat a stab or bullet wound. The entire class goes pretty much without a hitch, the worst thing that happens is when Sam tries to take Bucky’s pulse at his metal arm because he’s so distracted by their bickering.
Well… until they pull out the needles.
As soon as Peter sees them, he starts feeling squirmish – and it gets worse when their instructor calls him to the front. He kinda wants to back out, but seeing as everyone is already treating him like such a kid, he stays strong. Besides, he’s a superhero, he dealt with way worse than that little needle.
“But it’s only one needle, right?” Peter asks as he hops onto the demonstrating table.
“Only one, I promise,” the instructor answers and smiles. “We only need to learn how to give someone an IV.”
“Don’t worry, nobody loves them,” Tony reassures him as he stands up and joins him, obviously volunteering to do it.
Peter grimaces slightly. “Actually… I think I want Miss Romanoff to do it.”
“Excuse me?!” With an expression that’s almost comical, Tony stares Peter, ignoring the rest of the team (and the instructor) who all laugh. “Do you doubt I’ll be able to do this? I have four PhDs!”
“And none of them are medical,” he talks back, not regretting his decision.
“It’s not like Natasha has one!”
“But she’s a trained assassin. I think she knows how to handle sharp stuff.”
“I do know how to handle sharp stuff,” Natasha says with a smirk, suddenly appearing next to Tony and taking all of the instrument, throwing Peter a wink. Tony is still complaining, something about teenagers or something – Peter isn’t really listening, way too distracted by Nat’s actions. She’s overly thorough and careful with each step (the kid is pretty sure it’s only for his benefit, not hers) and when the needle pierces his skin, it only feels like a tiny prick. “There. All done.”
He blinks at the needle stuck in his arm. “Uh. Neat.”
Then, everything turns black.
When Peter opens his eyes again, he lays on the ground. Someone is holding his legs up and the faces slowly start to sharpen the more he blinks. Eventually, he recognizes Steve’s and Sam’s face – behind Tony’s giant face, because he’s way too close. “Kid? Can you hear me?”
“Yeah,” he mumbles. “And, like, smell you.”
“Rude,” Tony says as he leans back, but the relief in his voice is unmistakable.
“What happened?” Peter tries to sit up, but Tony’s hand is right there, pressing him back down. Steve puts a cold, wet cloth on his forehead.
“Oh, you didn’t, huh?” Sam asks with a smirk. “Then why did you swan-dive to the ground?”
“I… was just testing you. To see if you all paid attention.”
Naturally, no one believes him. “Next time,” Tony says, giving him a wide grin, “just give us a surprise pop-quiz.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
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