Don’t tell someone you love them then treat them like shit until you’re alone and want someone to spend the day with. Such low self esteem in a person who’s madly in love with you and you two trade ‘I love you’s but your actions prove otherwise, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you did because I think I lied more than you about everything other than my love for you. I was so hopelessly lost is you, loving you as you slowly broke my heart in so many pieces they were hard to pick up, but with the self esteem you knew I had you always took advantage of it, maybe it wasn’t on purpose but it’s always felt like it, and threw me to the side until you were lonely and no one else could be there but I’m young and naive and thought, hoped, that maybe you loved me and that’s just how you showed it.
You claimed we were bad when you left and I’ve thought everything over, though we had our bad moments and disagreements I realized the only time we got as bad as you made out was when I stuck up for myself and called you out on how shitty you treated me and ditched me anytime something looked more appealing even though I was there every time you wanted, cancelled plans, pissed off family, angered friends, I ditched everything for you but you never gave a thing up for me…and the only time we had relapsing arguments was when I let myself realize how shitty that was and you are…
I want to hate you instead of love you, all the shitty things you did you’d think it’d be easy. You constantly made me watch your shows and movies and would never give mine a chance but that’s a childish thing to be upset about so let’s not start now…leaving me every time something seemed more fun than spending the day with me even when you knew that’s what I wanted and I spent every waking moment to make you happy until it got to points I couldn’t bite my tongue anymore, bringing up your exes out of nowhere and then wonder why I was jealous of them and everyone who I knew liked you because you were so determined I could trust you, always asking why I never talked to you about how I felt, like it was easy, when every time I tried you’d argue about how I was wrong and you were right.
There’s so much I want to talk about, so much I want to tell you but you won’t give me the time of day to do so…I’m so tired of you…that even when there is no us you can still manage to hurt me and break me down into nothing like before, and you always wondered why I thought I was nothing, you made me feel like nothing…like I was only something when you wanted me there, but even by the end the more you were around the more like nothingness I would feel…but now that you’ve left and I’ve had time to think, the ending wasn’t my fault like I had thought…if you want someone to stay don’t treat them like they’re nothing…and I thank your absence for helping me realize that I’m not nothing, I can be anything and everything, and I’ll be wonderful.
janainaart
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
theartofmadeline
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
