A recount of events to present from Grace's pov this time! Aka me exploring Grace's experience with loneliness and being extremely touch-starved (so he's just a hot mess this entire chapter tbh)
This one's longer than the others, like 16k so have fun
Also want to add that the tags are updated with each chapter! I'm not sure if I'll write anything explicit for this yet, so far only suggestive stuff, but just in case make sure to read those first.
The trip back to Earth was turning out to be extremely boring, and he'd barely even reached the third month of his travel.
Grace never fully realized how isolated he was until now. Since Rocky was no longer around the ship had become eerily silent, filled only with the hum of the engines and faint buzz of the life systems. A few months in and he was already missing the alien space rock more than he could've imagined.
Being alone wasn't a new feeling.
He'd felt it ever since he got shunned at that UNESCO conference in Denmark, though admittedly, that was partially his fault—he shouldn't have lashed out and called that leading scholar a "staggering waste of carbon". However, he was adamant that they should've at least took his theory into consideration instead of laughing in his face. Wasn't that what science was for? To expand their knowledge based on new discoveries, and test the limits of what they already know?
Yeah, he was still resentful about it, even when he was light-years away from Earth.
Then there was his failed relationship, where his ex-girlfriend claimed his head was too high in the clouds to commit to the real world. Maybe she was right, which was why that one stung the most. It was devastating to have someone he thought he could depend on, the only person to stick beside him for years and support him through thick and thin, abandon him like it was nothing.
Not only that, but she did it to be with some guy named Mark. He'd had his suspicions that she was cheating, and yet he'd turned a blind eye to the warning signs as if that'd somehow save him from the inevitable heartache.
It didn't, obviously. Only left him to face the shattering reality of the situation—he wasn't enough for her or anyone.
He was used to being alone for quite some time now.
When Grace first woke up, disoriented with no memories of how he got there, he wasn't all that surprised to see his two other crew mates were deceased. He barely had a reaction, like his subconscious had braced itself for the possibility and was already accustomed to the idea of complete isolation. It was second nature for him to ignore the disappointment that came with it, to replace it with the noise of his own thoughts.
It was pathetic, he knew that. Even in the vastness of space, on a mission he wasn't the slightest bit trained for, fate decided he was better off alone. That had to be some kind of sign, one he wasn't particularly fond of.
Was it always meant to be like this? Why was it that people like himself, the ones who craved human connection more than anything, who wanted nothing more than to belong somewhere... would always be left standing alone, even at the edge of the universe?
It hurt, a lot. Far more than he would like to admit.
Drinking all those bags of vodka to ease the pain worked for a fleeting moment, until it turned into a never-ending cycle of grief. One moment he was numb to the universe around him, the next he was balling his eyes out, begging to the emptiness of space to send him back, to bring back his crew mates—anything except this cruel fate he had been dealt.
He didn't want to die.
He didn't want to die alone.
Grace didn't know how long he'd spent moping around, pitying himself and his circumstances, until reality fully sank in. He was stranded in deep space, not a living thing in sight except for him.
Even if he was technically alone on Earth, there was always people around him to fill the void—the other teachers of Grover Cleveland Middle, his star students, the friendly neighbors in his apartment complex, even the brilliant people that were apart of this top-secret project. He didn't care who it was, he just needed someone around to quiet the doubtful voices ringing inside his head.
At least he had Mary and Armando for company... Okay, that sounded a lot sadder than he thought it would. Definitely not the same as a person.
Regardless, he learned to cope with being alone for a very long time. No family, no lover, no pets, just himself. That was one of the sole reasons he was sent on this mission, as if his own life wasn't important enough to care about. Guess it was easier to indirectly kill someone when there was no one to mourn their absence.
When Rocky came along, it'd changed his perspective entirely. For once in his life he finally met someone who understood him, someone who didn't judge him for his awkward behavior or constant rambling. If anything, the Eridian complimented it well, the two working together like pieces of a puzzle. What one of them lacked, the other made up for to balance it out.
Not to mention Rocky was blunt. His species saw no reason to beat around the bush, they simply said whatever was on their mind. It was refreshing and helped calm that lingering uncertainty in the back of his mind, how he always felt the need to backtrack and choose his words more carefully. He was actually a little envious of Rocky's candid attitude—a nervous wreck like himself could use a bit of that confidence.
Now that Rocky was gone, a hole had carved itself into Grace's chest. For once in his life he bonded with someone in a way he hadn't before – an alien, no less – and now he lost it. His regret was immense, constantly battling with himself over whether or not he should've stayed with him and sent the pods back to Earth instead.
It was a thought he had everyday as he wandered around the ship, occasionally checking on the Taumoeba farm and the greenhouse to keep his brain occupied. He spent a lot of time in the Don't Go Crazy Room and listening to music—dancing and karaoke just didn't feel the same without his companion beside him.
He'd always been alone, but he'd never experienced such a profound sense of loneliness until Rocky came along. The fuzzy warmth in his chest had dimmed, leaving behind this hollow ache, a yearning for connection that was no longer there. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't seriously contemplated turning the ship around. But then the dread of missing his life back on Earth would set in again, sending him into a state of hysteria as the cycle repeated.
Grace was miserable, there was no denying it. It was an endless battle between missing an alien who showed him more empathy than those on Earth, and craving the familiarity of the humans he once surrounded himself with—their presence, their emotional comprehension, their behaviors, their touch, their warmth, their affection, the list went on until his stomach was twisting itself into knots.
He missed it.
God, he missed people so much.
He tried to reassure himself that he was heading back to Earth, that his issue would be resolved eventually, he simply had to wait it out for a couple of years. But even that didn't help, a pit of apprehension forming in his gut that suggested otherwise. He wasn't the type to believe in intuition, preferring physical evidence rather than letting irrational fear overtake him. This however, he couldn't shake off for the life of him.
He decided that it was the isolation affecting his brain—sleep deprivation was also a major issue that could've been contributing to it. He had all the time in the world to rest, yet his body wouldn't allow it. When he did get some sleep it was only for a couple of hours, the anxious pounding of his heart jolting his mind awake.
Tonight was no different.
It was the middle of the night according to the watch he wore and the ship's dimmed light systems, both used for the sole purpose of keeping him sane in constant darkness. He'd decided to move his pillow and blanket into the simulation room, hoping the changing scenery around him could ease him into a peaceful slumber. Right now it was set to his personal favorite, a tall forest with a calming stream and red foxes skittering around.
Grace was sprawled across the platform in the center, a colorful, quilted blanket covering his form. One of his arms and legs dangled off the sides, trying and failing to find a comfortable position for ages now.
Maybe sleeping on top of a metal surface wasn't his greatest idea in terms of relaxation. His back was starting to ache.
The sounds of nature should've been soothing, but it only filled him with that recurring longing. He missed animals, too. Now he regretted never getting one, too busy with his job as a teacher and worrying over the costs that came with getting a pet.
If he had, he liked to think he would've gotten a cat. Maybe a black cat? Or a calico, those were cute. What would he have named them? Something space-related seemed appropriate, especially with his current circumstances. But what?
For the umpteenth time he got lost in his own thoughts, the idea of sleep abandoned. Instead he let his mind wander from topic to topic, each one as insignificant as the last, merely there to will away the repressed emotions eating away at him. Anything to distract him from his solitary existence.
He laid there, eyes closed and brows furrowed as the dimmed lights of the screens casted him in a gentle glow, sounds of rustling leaves and rushing water filling his ears. His hand laid across his torso underneath the blanket, fiddling with the edge of his shirt as it rode up his stomach.
The pads of his fingers soothed up and down the pale, toned skin of his abdomen mindlessly, brushing over a trail of blonde hairs scattered along there. A low, shuddered breath left him, almost able to imagine his touch as someone else. Who it was, he had no clue nor care, as long as he could fabricate the presence of another person.
Slowly his hand trailed higher, tracing the muscles of his abdomen until he reached his pectorals, the graphic t-shirt he wore scrunching up with the movement. His heartbeat could be felt underneath his palm, a steadily rising rhythm as his free hand rose to drag through his short, dirty blonde locks.
His own sigh reached his ears, short, shuddered breaths leaving his parted lips. His hand slid back down, skimming past his happy trail to the waist band of his pants, the material already loosened around his hips. The fingers in his hair clenched, forming a fist as he tugged at the strands, coaxing a groan from his throat.
He lightly traced over the v-line to the right side of his hips, his thumb tugging the waist band lower to reveal the fabric underneath. His hair was released, rubbing that hand down his burning face to cover his mouth, his eyebrows pinching together as he trailed lower—
"Foreign bodies, detected."
Shoot.
Grace nearly jumped out of his own skin, barely managing to stay on the platform from the harsh jolt his body gave. He fumbled to get up as the blanket tangled around his form, causing him to trip over the fabric when he stood up. His knee slammed against a screen in the process and he had to censor a curse that tried to escape.
His glasses were around here somewhere. Where did he place them again? Right, next to the control panel.
"Foreign bodies, detected."
"I got that, Mary! I'm coming, just– Hold on!" He shouted at the automated voice, hurrying to grab his glasses and shove them on his face.
His converse shoes reverberated against the metal grated floor, rushing down the length of the ship to find whatever was being detected. So far Grace didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He peeked in the lab first and checked on the Taumoeba farm, since he figured that was the only other life on this ship, but no luck there.
Then he wandered to the greenhouse, the control room, the storage area, the fuel and engine compartment—still nothing. By the time he trailed back around and had listened to Mary's alerts more than twenty times, he was getting exhausted.
"Can't you just tell me where you're detecting it from?" Grace asked the computerized voice with a sigh, not wanting to run around the entirety of the ship a second time. He'd slammed into Rocky's xenonite tunnels too many times.
There was silence for a split second, then the computer spoke again. "Foreign bodies located in the dormitory section of the ship."
Grace threw up his hands with a groan. Of course it's in the last place he'd thought to check. "That would've been nice to know at the beginning, Mary!"
"My apologies, Dr. Grace."
He shook his head, maneuvering around the obstacles scattered across the ship as he headed towards that area. The closer he got, his pace began to slow, a concerning realization sinking in—he had no clue what it could possibly be.
There wasn't a contaminant in the air, seeing as Mary would've alerted him to that kind of threat. It was physically impossible for anything to get inside the ship without him using the airlock, so that was ruled out. He couldn't recall having anything inside that would be identified as a foreign object, unless it was one of Rocky's creations being falsely detected. That wouldn't make sense though, due to the sheer amount of xenonite around the ship.
His mind was running a blank as to what it could be. Those were the only possibilities he could come up with, seeing as there wasn't much else that could happen in the emptiness of space.
Unless it was an alien that could somehow phase through matter to get inside, in which case, he fears it won't be as pleasant of an interaction as he had with Rocky. Something might actually end up growing inside him this time around.
God, he really hoped not. That train of thought was not helping him remain calm in the slightest.
With wary steps, Grace wandered down the rest of the passageway. From what he could see of the dormitory so far, there wasn't anything that jumped out at him as being abnormal.
That was until a hint of crimson on the floor caught his eye.
His brows furrowed together, eyeing the substance splattered across the ground as he inched closer to the entrance. Not long after the smell hit him, his nose scrunching up at the pungent scent of iron mixed with burnt flesh. It was nauseating, to where he had to smack his hand over the lower half of his face to shield himself from it—and to prevent his churning stomach from emptying his ramen from earlier onto the floor.
Now he knew for a fact something wasn't right, and the unknown of what that could be set him on edge.
'Please don't be like that alien from that one movie. What was it called..? I can't remember. I'd just rather it be anything other than a parasitic alien that'd eventually burst out of my chest. No thank you.'
The pounding of his heartbeat drummed in his ears, nearly as loud as his spiraling thoughts. His footsteps slowed as he cautiously passed through the entrance of the dormitory, his eyes locked onto the dark, clumpy red substance on the ground that lead into a sizable puddle.
Then his gaze trailed up, noticing the two giant chunks that laid admist the mysterious liquid. His brain connected the dots slowly, taking a minute to confirm the scene before his eyes and the putrid smell that attacked his nose seconds earlier.
Oh fudge.
Those lumps were bodies, said bodies were absolutely drowned in a thick layer of blood. One of them appeared to be missing an arm as well, stringy bits of flesh and muscle falling apart from the severed end. If he squinted, he could see a hint of bone amongst the sea of crimson.
He couldn't help the visceral reaction that came next.
A scream left his throat before he even realized he was making any sound. It was a high pitched, girly shriek, similar to when he first experienced zero gravity in the cockpit—a pitch he didn't even know he could reach before, let alone a second time.
"No! Absolutely not!" He shrieked, already running through the passageway and refusing to look back. "That's all blood! There's so much, how is that even possible?! And the missing arm— I'm gonna throw up, oh my god, oh my god—"
Grace put as much distance as he possibly could between himself and what looked like a crime scene. He wasn't sure whether the blood was their own or someone else's, though neither of those answers would've sat right with him. Especially with the sheer amount of it, because he was not exaggerating when he said they were covered from head to toe in red, to the point any physical features were unidentifiable.
Panic and horror was all he felt as he paced around the ship, trying to slow his breathing back to a normal rhythm. His mind was racing, unable to comprehend what he just witnessed, let alone how they ended up there in the first place.
Somehow meeting an alien space rock that resembled a giant spider was no longer the most bizarre thing he'd encountered on this mission. Not to mention that, unlike his current situation, he met Rocky under normal circumstances. There was nothing logical about two bodies randomly appearing inside his ship without any signs of entry.
How was that possible? It wasn't, obviously, which was freaking him out more. Then there was the copious amount of blood and the smell and—
Okay, he needed to calm down, otherwise it'd turn into an endless cycle of him overwhelming his brain with questions he didn't have the answer to. He should make a list of the obvious facts, rather than lose his mind over the nonsensical detail that was their very existence.
There were two people – presumably, their outlines looked human shaped to him – aboard the Hail Mary, laying unconscious on the dormitory floor, covered in blood. One was missing an arm, and they more than likely had other injuries on top of that.
Okay. Good, that was established now. Anddd... What was he supposed to do with that information?
Screaming again seemed like a reasonable option, or some more stressed pacing around the ship.
He needed an adult to handle this...
Oh, wait.
He was an adult.
Maybe Mary and Armando could deal with it? Cause now he was this close to actually throwing up.
Half-an-hour passed of him freaking out before any sensible part of his brain kicked in. He had no clue how they literally appeared out of thin air, but medical aid was urgently required, and leaving them in a pile of blood on the floor until they woke up wasn't an option, or else they could succumb to their injuries.
That said, he wasn't looking forward to cleaning up that mess and the smell that attacked his nose with it. But he didn't really have much of a choice if he wanted to save those people.
The amount of cloths he went through to wipe them off and the floor was innumerable, creating a pile in the corner until he could airlock them into space. No way the blood was coming out of those with the limited supplies he had, nor would it for the white, padded floor, so he'd have to deal with a permanent blood stain there from now on.
At least by then he was able to wipe them down enough to confirm it was two humans, a man and a woman, which was a relief. That meant no more worries about an alien trying to use his body as its next host.
They were still smeared in a thin layer of drying blood, but it was the best he could do. After that he got them situated for Armando, first covering two of the beds in a layer of plastic film to avoid new stains, before he lifted each of them onto their respective bed.
Grace helped undress them and cut certain areas of the clothing so the cluster of robot arms could tend to their wounds—aka him squeezing his eyes shut and occasionally peeking as he clumsily removed the drenched articles. From there he let Armando take care of the rest, standing nearby and covering his eyes until the robot finished caring for them, the sound of Mary's voice alerting him of the medical analysis throughout the procedure.
Head trauma, radiation burns, amputation, lacerations, abrasions, contusions, bone fractures—overall, didn't sound that great and he was becoming increasingly more concerned.
After their wounds were cared for, Grace quickly trailed back over to redress them, covering up their bodies out of modesty. It wasn't until he was finished and took a long look at their blood soaked clothes did he remember that Armando had gowns for patients—a far more sanitary option, even if their skin was still coated with the crimson substance aside from the treated areas.
The blonde glanced over at the cluster of robot arms, the camera practically staring him down before shifting to their bodies, then back to him, as if to make that point known.
Rocky was right. He really was stupid when he was tired. Sprinkle an extreme amount of stress and terror on top of that, his head might as well be for decoration at that point.
"Sorry about that, Armando. I'll just... leave you to it." He sheepishly excused himself, the cluster of robot arms shifting around in response. If a machine could get aggravated, he assumed that's what it looked like.
Grace quickly made his exit, leaving Armando to apply their oxygen masks and IVs for medication. The robot would be there to monitor their status, and Mary could alert him of any changes in their conditions, so he was left to his own devices for the time being. He needed a moment alone to process everything, and he figured they'd be out for some time given the severity of their injuries.
First he had to take a shower, because to no surprise, he'd gotten blood all over him. There goes a set of his already limited clothes. With what little he had, outfits were a pain to cycle through, seeing as there was only one method that worked for cleaning them—soak them in water then let them freeze to kill off the bacteria. Time-consuming, but it worked, so he wouldn't complain.
After he changed into some fresh clothes, he went to sit in the simulation room for a bit. Except this time he didn't mess around with the control panel to find a specific scenery, too preoccupied in his own thoughts as he plopped down on the platform, leaving him sitting amongst a sea of dark, blank screens.
His hands fidgeted with the edge of the blanket beneath him, mindlessly picking at the quilted fabric while his brain attempted to process everything that happened. There were so many questions running through his mind, ones that he had no logical answer to.
Where did they come from? Mary never detected a blip on the radar, so they couldn't have been from another ship.
How did they manage to get inside the ship? They simply just appeared in the dormitory, no indications whatsoever of the airlock being used for entry. Not like that'd make sense, seeing as neither of them were wearing a space suit.
Why were they drenched in blood? That... that he had no clue about. He couldn't even try to come up with an explanation for that one, nor did he want to try to.
There were no straightforward answers and it was starting to frustrate him. He quickly deduced that his irritably was due to lack of sleep, but there was no possible way he was getting any shut-eye after that incident. So he'd just have to sit there and stew in this concoction of emotions—bewilderment, unease, vexation and... relief.
Humans. There were two humans aboard his ship, living and breathing. He tried not to dwell on the possibility of that changing given their physical states. For now they were alive, and an inner part of himself felt like it could cry.
How long had it been since he'd last seen a human? In the flesh, rather than displayed on the very screens surrounding him. He couldn't remember, with the years of being in an induced coma and his long, grueling journey to Adrian...
It'd been so long. Too long.
Tears gathered in his eyes, glossing over the blue irises and blurring his vision. His glasses were quickly discarded, a hand rubbing over his face to rid of the leakage, to no avail as new ones rolled down his face to create rivulets along his cheeks. He choked on a sob, and suddenly his entire body was collapsing with the weight of emotion.
The last time he saw people he was being tackled to the ground, surrounded by guards and a doctor that were willing to send him on a suicide mission he didn't consent to. That was the last touch he felt—multiple hands grabbing and pulling, forcing him against the ground, keeping him caged in while he screamed and pleaded for them not to do it.
He remembered the way his voice turned hoarse, his vocal chords raw from how loudly he yelled, desperate for anyone to listen to him. He remembered how his hands clawed at the ground, clenching at grass blades and handfuls of dirt, holding on for dear life to keep himself attached to the Earth they were trying to expel him from.
There was no soil under his nails when he woke up. No grass stains or dirty scrapes against his palms. Absolutely nothing to keep him connected to his home that was light-years away, the evidence wiped clean as if it had never occurred.
He remembered Carl, too. Someone who he thought was a friend, watching the entire scene unfold without an ounce of remorse. He didn't hear his last words when his world faded into darkness, but he didn't need to. All he needed to know was that he made no move to help him. He didn't bat an eye at his display of utter terror, at the ugly mess of tears steaming down his face, at his thrashing and screams for mercy.
Carl didn't care. None of them did. Because in the end, what was one more life to them compared to the entirety of humanity? They didn't care, so long as they got to live a long, fruitful life in his place.
Grace found it interesting, how his last memory of human interaction was so deceitful and violent, yet his mind desperately craved any semblance of those connections that lingered before. He supposed it was human nature, regardless of his indignation towards those who sent him here.
He just wanted someone to be there beside him, to feel the warmth of another and reassure him that he wasn't alone in this cold, empty void. Anyone, to make him feel like he was worth more than a measly sacrifice to those who deserved to live more than he did.
And fate, as much as it had damned him up until this point, decided to show him a little bit of grace.
The time spent leading up to their awakening was stressful. Hours turned into days, until days turned into a week, and the clock was still ticking.
Grace wasn't at all surprised when his sleep schedule only deteriorated further after their arrival, seeing as it consumed his thoughts twenty-four-seven. Oftentimes he'd wander around the ship due to his own restlessness, which inevitably ended up with him at the dormitory, his subconscious steering him in that direction everytime.
He'd use it as an excuse to check up on them, listening to their medical reports while Armando scans them over. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, yet he was still bursting at the seams with apprehension.
What if they didn't wake up? What if their health started suddenly declining over night from their injuries? What if they did wake up, but they had been infected with an unknown disease, to where they couldn't recover?
It was thoughts like those that kept him up, that left him circling the ship just so he could peek inside the room to check on them. There was nothing else he could do besides wait and it was killing him.
It was around the tenth day when he woke up to the sound of commotion. Or rather he was dozing in and out of sleep before his foggy brain identified a loud noise, disrupting any chance he had at getting some rest as it startled him awake. After a few minutes of laying there, he figured he might as well check it out, seeing as he wasn't falling asleep anytime soon.
Grace wasn't all there while he was descending the ladder, his brain zoning in and out in his sleep-deprived state. That's why it took so long for him to realize where exactly he was, along with the fact there was a woman curled up on the floor, staring back at him like a deer caught in headlights.
Oh. One of them was awake. That's what the noise was, obviously. What else would it have been?
He couldn't hide how ecstatic he was, his heart leaping at the opportunity to communicate with another human. The rambling that spewed out of him was inevitable at that point, but the woman – Astra, meaning star, a pretty and fitting name – didn't appear to mind. She was noticeably shaken, yet she easily accepted his offer of wanting to help her.
Her reaction to the other person – friend or partner, he didn't know – wasn't as calm as he had hoped. Which was his fault, because he should've brought up that detail with more caution to avoid further distress.
'They were literally covered head-to-toe in blood with traumatic injuries. The man lost an entire arm! Of course she was going to freak out about that, idiot.' He mentally scolded himself.
After some reassurance that the man – Simon, from what she called him – would be alright, he got her settled enough to take a shower. In that time he learned she was a doctor, given she requested a medical kit to stitch up some wounds she accidentally tore. He was intrigued, but she appeared to be embarrassed by it, unwilling to divulge further as she took the supplies he provided and scurried off.
The blonde watched as the door to the bathroom shut, his eyebrows dipping downwards. 'Only fifteen minutes into meeting the first human you have in years, one of the only other people in the middle of space, and you already made her uncomfortable. Outstanding, really. That's got to be a new record.'
Needless to say, he was a nervous mess while he spent his time in the lab, trying and failing to distract his racing mind. He kept wandering around that space, fiddling with anything he could get his hands on.
At one point he realized she'd be hungry and busied himself with making her a cup of ramen, but that only occupied him for a couple of minutes. Then he went to spin around in a chair for a few more until he got dizzy. So he finally decided to look at some samples under the microscope for a bit, anything to stop his mind from replaying his own embarrassment.
What a terrible idea that was. In his frazzled state, the sound of a throat clearing behind him sent him jolting, the expensive device nearly going with him. He had to flail around to keep everything on that table from crashing to the floor.
If he knew anything about first impressions, none of this was going well.
Then he made the mistake of turning around, offering a sheepish smile and hasty greeting, before words decided to fail him. His mouth snapped shut, blue eyes wide as a rush of heat exploded across his face.
Oh no.
He wasn't sure if having his glasses on correctly for once was a blessing or a curse. One of the first people he'd met in ages, and he thought it'd be courteous of him to lend Astra his clothes, purely out of respect for his deceased crew mates. He knew it wouldn't have mattered, but he felt more comfortable leaving their belongings untouched.
Now here he was, unable to look away as his eyes roved over her form that was engulfed by his clothes, and the way her wet, auburn locks framed her face. He also noticed she had freckles, a couple of faded scars and heterochromia eyes, light-green and hazel-brown.
Fudge him. He was doomed.
Despite his own internal struggle – probably external too, he'd never been able to hide his emotions – Astra seemed more at ease after getting cleaned off. A little awkward at first, but it didn't take long for them to get a conversation flowing while she ate. Grace was eager to, finally having someone to chat with after days of talking to himself or the computer system of the ship.
He wasn't sure if it was purely bias due to her being first human he'd met in ages, but he learned very quickly that he liked Astra. She was patient and understanding despite the circumstances, and she matched his playful energy well, already adapting to his presence and complimenting it with her own.
He couldn't even describe the amount of exhilaration he was experiencing. It felt like a weight had finally lifted off his shoulders, alleviated by her presence alone.
Not only was she a doctor, but a scientist as well. A marine biologist of sorts, except with an ocean made entirely out of blood, he supposed. Human blood at that, which he found extremely disturbing and didn't feel like questioning further on what kind of organisms might dwell in that kind of environment.
Nonetheless, the unsettling circumstances she described from her studies only made him respect her further. He couldn't hide his admiration at that point, partially because he enjoyed the way her freckled complexion would light up in a pink hue, too humble to accept the indirect compliment he was giving her. It was cute at first, until it wasn't.
Grace could see her mood depleting at the mention of the Earth's ocean, one she had to study through remaining data rather than the real thing. She never got to experience it, never got to see what it'd look like with her own eyes before it disappeared forever, left only with documentation of what used to be.
In a way, he knew what that was like—having your home ripped away from you against your will. Their situations were vastly different, yet painfully similar in that sense.
He couldn't show her the real thing, obviously. Not yet at least, seeing as the trip back to Earth was going to take a couple of years. However, he knew the next best thing to cheer her up. It was one he'd watched all the time to calm himself, and had used to show Rocky what Earth was like when he wanted to learn more about humans.
The complete and utter awe on her face was worth everything and more. It was like a child seeing it for the first time, nothing but wonder and appreciation lighting up her face as she watched the changing screens around them.
Astra was mesmerized by it, meanwhile he was by her, staring at the way the cool hues of the ocean scenery casted a soft glow on her skin. She was ethereal, and he briefly wondered if he'd made some kind of silent prayer that sent an angel his way.
He wasn't religious is any form, but seeing as science couldn't explain their arrival, he felt that was the case.
When she started crying, he'd panicked, automatically assuming the worst and that he'd somehow upset her. He messed up a lot, so it was practically second nature for him to jump to that conclusion first.
Fortunately, they were happy tears. False alarm on his part. Now he understood Rocky's perspective and how he'd get the two mixed up. He could vividly remember his reaction from the first time he tried to explain it.
"Leaky space blob is complicated. Leak mean good and bad thing. Is confusing and weird, statement."
He missed the little guy. He'd have to show Astra the videos he had of Rocky sometime soon.
They spent a while in the simulation room, with him showing her as many sceneries as possible. He noticed that some of the animals she couldn't identify with her limited knowledge, to which he'd eagerly fill her in on each one along with a little fun fact about them.
At first he'd cringed, the memory of him sharing that tidbit about centrifuge being used to make butter during the Civil War still fresh in his mind—he could never forget every little embarrassing moment of his life. Like then, he silently debated bonking his head against the nearest wall.
Rather than act annoyed or bemused, which was usually the type of reaction he got at his random and trivial knowledge, she looked the exact opposite. If anything it heightened her fascination, to where she'd glance at him expectantly when she wanted to learn more.
So yeah, definitely an angel. He was certain of that now.
By the time things had settled down and they'd gone through countless sceneries, he eventually felt her head rest on his shoulder. At first his body tensed, tilting away in the slightest as his subconscious compared it to the last physical contact he had. It took a split second of him waiting with bated breath to realize the two had no correlation.
Once his brain calmed from its initial scare, he relaxed and leaned back into her. Warmth flooded his body, a sensation that had become foreign to him long before he ended up in space.
So many sleepless nights wondering what he did wrong, of what he did to deserve this curse of solitude throughout his life. He'd been alone for so long, to where he'd forgotten what it felt like to have another person beside him, to feel their body heat radiating into his own.
It was tender and warm, unlike the last interaction he had with a person. Her body was fully leaning into his side, her head nestled on his shoulder like he was as much of a comfort to her as she was to him.
Grace couldn't help but rest his head on top of her own, willing away the tears that stung at his eyes before they could overflow. His arm snuck around her waist, desperate for further contact as it slid underneath the cardigan to rest there, tugging her impossibly closer so he could drown in her warmth. His face buried into her auburn hair, the scent of fresh soap meeting his nose and invading his senses, just like every part of her was.
He missed this. He missed it so much. How could he have gone so long without this? All it took was the gentle touch of another to heal that broken part of him, the one that simply longed to belong with someone.
Unfortunately for him, his newfound moment of satiated yearning wasn't going to last for much longer.
When Simon appeared in that entryway, a tall, brooding figure full of muscle and rage, Grace was positive his soul had left his body. Maybe it had, seeing as he hit his head against the floor and everything went black, the fading shouts of his name all he could hear.
If Astra was an angel, then Simon had to be her demon counterpart.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
When Grace awoke, groggy and confused, the sight he was met with was the last thing he expected. With the position Simon and Astra were in, her shirt lifted halfway up her torso and his hand dangerously low on her back, the assumption made itself.
Fortunately, that wasn't the case, which saved him a lot of embarrassment. The two had been checking each other for mutations, a conversation that opened up a whole new can of worms. This entire situation only got stranger with every new detail that was brought to light.
Though, there was one detail he didn't know a lot about and it started to bother him—their relationship.
The two were definitely close-knit based on their proximity, as if subconsciously they knew not to stray too far from the other. There was a likelihood that it was a trauma response after what they'd been through. Or rather, based on how Astra described their universe – or lack thereof – they formed a bond in a dying civilization that held no future in sight, where a dire and horrific incident that they were forced into only strengthened said bond.
It was as bleak as it was romantic. The idea of dedicating what short amount of life was left to another person, of sharing their despair with someone and creating a personal shield of solace out of it, one that'd inevitably crack under the crushing weight of their society's torment.
Grace wasn't sure whether to find that admirable or extremely depressing—a mix of both, probably. Along with a hint of envy, if he was honest.
'Must be nice, having someone to care for you like that.'
Astra was notably patient with Simon during conversation, always aware of his reserved and belligerent demeanor, one she wasn't afraid to combat. That told him they had to have known each other for quite a while, seeing as she was adapted to his behavior and vice versa. She also knew about his past, something he wasn't very keen on speaking about in Grace's presence, which said a lot.
Whether their relation was in a romantic sense or strictly platonic, he couldn't tell. It could be more complicated than that, especially with how different their circumstances were, though he figured more would reveal itself with time.
But something like that rarely ever stopped his curious mind from wandering.
After Grace learned about Simon's role as an engineer and his soft spot towards gardening, it was like seeing him through a completely new lens. In the greenhouse he caught of glimpse of the mellow nature he was capable of, buried beneath a tough, distrustful exterior.
Was he still terrified of him? A little bit, yeah...
Okay, a lot of bit.
That image of him covered in blood, glaring down at him like he was two seconds away from ripping his head clean off, would probably haunt his dreams for a while.
Not to mention his sheer muscle mass that indicated he could've – and likely would've – done exactly that had Astra not been a shield to him. Grace had muscles as well, but he absolutely did not have a single fighting bone in his body, so they were useless in that regard. Simon's size and stature easily exceeded his own and would've overpowered him, anyway.
The tight fit of his own shirt said that much, hugging the outline of his pectorals down to his defined abdomen. Occasionally when the man reached for one of the plants higher up on the shelf, the fabric would lift, showing off a sliver of tan skin along with a dark trail of hairs leading into his—
Fudge, it's happening again.
He was doomed a second time now.
It was all too overwhelming for his brain. One day he was breaking down from the crushing weight of loneliness, pathetic enough to pretend like his own touch was someone else's. The next, the universe threw two people at him who were not only admirable with their intelligence and resilience, but tantalizingly attractive to where it felt downright cruel.
He hadn't seen people in years, and this is who he got? At that point, the universe was openly mocking him, practically begging for him to make a fool of himself.
More than he already had, he supposed.
Grace blamed it on how long it'd been since he'd been around another human. He forgot how to function, words failing him and thoughts flying out the window whenever he interacted with the two. He'd never been particularly graceful, but with them, his clumsiness bordered on becoming a hazard.
But even if that excuse was true, it didn't change the fact that he was a hot mess and they were two complete strangers.
Were they strangers still? It'd been a couple days and he'd gotten to know a significant amount about them. Enough to where he had a document on his computer filled with notes of his observations on them.
Was that weird? Maybe... No, it was definitely weird. A normal person doesn't write a bunch of notes on the people they just met to learn their behaviors.
But in his defense, it was the only way he could sort out his scrambled mind, writing down the facts to organize what he knew and using that to determine where he stood with them from there.
So far on Astra he had:
– Is a lot more open and friendly. Likes to talk with me about my studies and often goes to me to learn more about Earth. Since she was a child when she left, she doesn't remember too much about it, other than the limited data she had at the space stations.
– Can get nervous and awkward at times, tends to be more clumsy when she is and bumps into things. That's what the bandage on her nose is from?? I heard Simon mention it before, something about hitting it on some metal bars?
– Does occasionally get stressed out, seemingly at random. She tends to either isolate herself or seek comfort from Simon or I when it happens. I'm going to assume it's some sort of trauma response after what they've been through.
– Very playful, likes to tease a lot. She stole my glasses once and pretended to act like me. I couldn't see very well but I liked them on her.
– She liked the skittles I gave her and munches on those every now and then. So likes sour stuff?
– Not very particular with other food, which I suppose is a given when food supplies were next to nothing in her universe. Though she does seem to favor the rehydrated meals that have cheese flavoring to them, along with any type of pasta. I'll save those ones for her.
– She's around Simon and I most of the time, even if it's just to sit nearby and chat while the other is working on something. I think she doesn't like to be alone for long periods of time. I get it, me too.
– Fiddles with her hair a lot, either tugging on it or brushing her fingers through it. I don't think she's used to having her hair down since her hair tie broke.
– She really likes the cardigan I gave her. I sometimes see her tracing the foxes on it or burying herself into the knitted material. It looks better on her, anyway.
– Was a little freaked out by Armando at first, but once she got used to it she became fascinated. She spends some time in the dormitory to learn more about the technology and how it operates via Mary.
– She constantly wants to know more about Rocky. I showed her some videos of him and she seems to love the little guy despite never meeting him. She thinks it's cool that he can see through echolocation.
– Spends a lot of her time in the Don't Go Crazy Room to look at all the different animals on Earth, whether it be to study the ocean life or other environments. I also gave her permission to use my computer so she can research on her own... Hopefully she never sees these notes, maybe that was a bad idea.
– She's an enthusiastic learner. A lot of the time she comes back to me to ramble about what information she's learned so far, and to check certain details with me to confirm if they're true or not. Then she'll run off to find Simon, probably to tell him as well. It's kind of adorable, honestly.
– Very stern when it comes to injuries, especially with the mutations her and Simon are experiencing. She's definitely been panicking over that lately, even if subtle. She also scolds me about my head injury when I overwork myself, even more so after I mentioned I'd hit my head more than once... oops.
- Overall she seems to be adapting well and is good company.
Then there was Simon:
– Very reserved and slightly hostile. Does not want to be near me whatsoever and looks irritated every time I talk. Not the first time someone's looked at me that way, I guess.
– Most of the time he's around Astra, if not then he's alone in the greenhouse room taking care of the plants. Both of those seem to keep him calm but he always looks tense to me, like he's waiting for something bad to happen.
– Has some anger issues? He lashes out pretty frequently, I can hear him hit a wall or break objects at times. He also apologizes to them afterwards, which is... endearing? I don't know what to call it.
– His residual limb can trigger his anger, seeing as he's still adapting to it. Astra has to help with some tasks every now and then when he gets too frustrated. I tried to help once, but he looked like he was ready to kill me, so I won't be trying that again.
– He has a burn scar on the left side of his neck, which poorly covers a thin tattoo underneath. Some kind of cultural thing? Astra briefly mentioned he was from Eden instead of the C.O.I., so maybe that was a tradition there, like the bracelets. He also seems attached to that.
– Very quiet, definitely not the talkative type. Only really speaks when Astra is around and isn't afraid to say what's on his mind. Unfortunately most of the time it's to verbally attack me.
– Not very open about his emotions or past, at least not to me, which can be concluded from the previous point.
– Night terrors? I sometimes hear him wake up in the dormitory section of the ship and have heard Astra mention it briefly before. I think she has them as well, just not as noticeable.
– He curses, a lot. I don't think I've heard him say a sentence without a curse word in it. Reminds me of one of my students that learned the f-word and wouldn't stop saying it for an entire week. Yikes.
– For the most part he tends to ignore me like I'm not even there, save for the glare he'll send my way if he catches me staring. That has happened embarrassingly often, I need to stop doing that.
– He still hates Armando and refuses to go near the robot unless absolutely necessary for his medication, otherwise he prefers Astra to tend to his injuries. I get that, Armando freaked me out at first too, and Astra is skilled at what she does.
– Believes me about Rocky now that he saw the videos, but he doesn't seem too happy at the idea of an alien rock that looks like a giant spider/crab—or aliens at all, for that matter. Again, scared me at first too, so understandable. At least Rocky isn't here, I don't know how Simon would react to him in person... Probably not well.
– Stares out at the stars a lot. Like, a lot. I think he's trying to convince himself they're not going to disappear again.
– Hates sour stuff? Astra told me he spit out a skittle when she tried to give it to him, which is funny.
– It took a while for me to get him to eat. Maybe he was skeptical I would poison him or something. But he likes the burritos the most, scarfs those down whenever he gets them. I'll save what I have left for him.
– He's a quick learner. I had him look at the new xenonite fuel tanks and he understood how to check and maintain them pretty quickly. Way faster than I had, it took me ages since I was scared I'd end up causing a new leak.
– He checks over the other systems of the ship to ensure they're all working properly. I was not staring when he bent over to fix an error with the electrical panel... Then why would you even write that down???
– Apparently he knows how to pilot as well. It took him a minute to adjust to the 360° layout in the cockpit, but he knew all the controls. It would've been nice to have him around to teach me, Rocky was so bossy... Actually, Simon might be worse now that I think about it, since he doesn't actually like me.
– He's very good at taking care of the plant life in the greenhouse, has them labeled and everything. I can't wait to have a potato. I miss potatoes so badly, I wish I had stuff to make some fries or chips. Now I want a burger. I'm making myself hungry I need to stop typing.
– Overall he's adapting slowly, but still skeptical of everything.
What could he conclude from all that? That they were friends now? For Astra, at least. Simon definitely would've shot that notion down. So an acquaintance, maybe.
He didn't know, and his mind was spiraling out of control the longer he dwelled on it. He wasn't sure what was worse, wallowing in his own misery and desperation for human contact when he was all alone, or becoming painfully aware of his social shortcomings and the irregular pace of his heartbeat once he was faced with two new people, that of which he became attached to far too quickly.
Also, when did he start liking men? Had he always? It was one of the first questions he had after he woke up with amnesia, until he found out about his ex-girlfriend and cleared that off the list.
Clearly not completely, considering the internal crisis he was facing now.
And he had absolutely no clue how to deal with any of it, other than mentally beat himself up while screaming into the abyss.
"Uhm, Grace..?"
At the call of his name, he jolted. Wide, blue eyes snapped to the source, meeting light-green and hazel-brown irises that stared back at him with worry. Then they darted over, to dark-brown and crimson eyes that lazily scanned over his face.
"You okay? You spaced out there." Astra pointed out softly, a concerned furrow to her brow. Her gaze lifted, to where he already knew what spot she was eyeing. "You've been doing that a lot lately. Are you sure your head is okay after that fall?"
Grace nodded, the motion quick enough to make his glasses slip down the bridge of his nose. "Yes! Yeah. Mhm, I'm good. I just get lost in my own thoughts a lot. It's, uh, normal for me." He winced, the jumble of words that left him sounding anything but convincing. "Sorry, I didn't— What were you saying? Something about the, uh– uh..?"
"Mutations." Astra finished for him, not looking completely satisfied with his answer, yet not pushing further. "Since it's been a few days, we wanted to write down the progression. We've noticed some changes, but it hasn't had any adverse affects on our health, which is a good sign."
The blonde perked up, an excited grin forming on his face at the new topic, one that allowed him to momentarily forget about his mental dilemma. Maybe it was strange, but he found himself fascinated ever since he heard about the physical alterations happening to their bodies. After their initial misunderstanding, he took the time to jot down the mutations Astra noticed so far on each of them, and he'd been impatiently waiting to add onto them in the days that followed.
For the sake of science, obviously. Nothing else.
These mutations were unlike anything he'd ever seen before, and with the information Astra provided about the ominous blood ocean, he was chomping at the bit to gather more data on how this strange entity worked. From what he knew so far, the ocean was its own organism and ecosystem at the same time. It was parasitic in the way it'd leech off of any hosts that came in direct contact with it, trying to assimilate them to become one with itself.
Apparently that's what the blood eel was, a creature she described that should've sentenced them to their death before they popped up here. A research crew, the SM-8, was supposedly trapped inside that creature, mutated and absorbed into one another from the affects of the blood ocean after one of them wouldn't stop drinking it.
Awful stuff, really. Sounds like the plot of a horror movie.
But he was relieved to hear that there were no issues with their health. That meant the absurd proposal of it only spreading to certain sections of the body before the multiplying abruptly stopped might ring true.
"Let me grab my laptop! You two can sit on the floor and I'll check you over in a second." He spoke in a rush, suddenly bursting with energy as he bounded over to grab said device. "Any obvious ones I should write down now?"
"There's scales on our arms." Simon noted, holding out his arm to show off the crimson painting it in splotches. "Doesn't cover them entirely, more like clusters where the radiation burns were."
Astra shrugged off the fox cardigan to set it aside, revealing her own forearms covered in a similar manner, instead with a deep green hue. Notably Simon's arm had a greater amount of scales than hers, likely due to the fact his radiation burns were more severe, thus allowing the infectious blood to spread through that area quicker.
Grace eyed the two as they settled on the floor beside each other. He made a mental note of their close proximity, to where their legs brushed together and their shoulders touched.
His gaze darted away so he could type in the new information. "Do you think it got into your bloodstream through your open wounds and spread from there? It's most prominent in those areas." He pointed out while grabbing his computer to walk over to them.
"I thought that, but there are unharmed areas that have mutations as well, like my teeth and nails. They're a bit sharper. So it wouldn't make sense that it'd only be through that." She countered, giving a helpless shrug as the blonde walked by. "It also hasn't completely spread throughout our bodies, considering we're still the same for the most part."
Grace settled behind them, typing away at the laptop momentarily before he slid it off his lap and to the side. "I mean, it doesn't look like you're turning into a giant eel anytime soon. So I think that's a positive." He replied in a joking manner, his smile turning sheepish when Simon sent him an unamused side-glance. "Anywayyy, let's see what's going on! I'll start with you, Astra."
The auburn-haired woman gave him a thumbs down at her side, her grin teasing as she turned to the man beside her. "Sure. Give Simon some time to make sure he doesn't bite your hand off."
He huffed and sent her a glare, responding with a grumble that held no real bite to it. "Shut up." Then he spared a glance towards the blonde, before he turned back around. "I haven't bit him yet, have I?"
That question had Grace's entire face flaring up, reading it completely wrong with the low, rumbling bass of his voice. Laughter bubbled up from Astra's throat, the joyous, melodic sound doing little to calm the heat searing across his pale complexion.
"No, I guess not. Just don't make it a first." She replied, a smile still evident in her tone.
Grace cleared his throat awkwardly, earning a quick, amused peek from Astra over her shoulder that he subconsciously shrunk away from. "Aheh... Yeah, please don't."
He swore he heard a breath of a laugh come from Simon. Nothing more than an exhale through the nose and a subtle movement of the shoulders, but it was the most positive reaction he'd gotten from him so far. For his own sake he shifted his attention back to the task at hand, lest he wanted to become the shade of a tomato.
Unfortunately, that was going to happen anyway since he forgot what this part entailed.
Okay, he just had to focus. He did this once before— Actually, it was them partially showing and partially explaining the changes to him. So no, he hadn't examined them this up close.
Shoot.
Slow as molasses, he reached forward as if he were approaching a wild animal. His hands grabbed the material of her shirt at the edge, lifting it up to where his hands made zero contact with her skin. He was expecting something, holding his breath like he awaited some kind of backlash. All she did was shift in her spot, even raising a hand up to ensure most of her unruly, auburn hair was out of the way.
Right. This was an examination to study any changes in their mutations, or new ones that could've formed. Nothing embarrassing about it.
Except the fact that Simon was right beside her, and he could very much feel the way he kept looking back at him.
Suddenly Astra's joke about Simon biting him felt a little more literal. Not that he would've minded—
Nope. He needed to focus.
His hands pulled away, seeing as Astra had taken over to hold up the shirt for him. Those blue irises scanned over the exposed area of her back, dilated pupils taking in every detail—the freckles spattered across her pale skin, faded cuts and bruises here and there, and the most glaring one, the crimson dorsal fins that had grown from the center of her spine.
They didn't look all that different, aside from the variation in size. The fins were larger near the upper portion of her back, before shrinking down as they trailed to either end. But of course, that's not what his brain was fixated on. Instead it was roving over the soft skin, his hands twitching in his lap, aching to reach forward and smooth his fingers along it.
The fins reached up to the base of her neck, judging from the indent beneath the shirt. It was then that he noticed there wasn't any extra fabric underneath. His brows furrowed as he stared at the bare skin of her upper back, trying to recall why that missing detail was odd.
It took a solid ten seconds before it hit him and he felt like the dumbest man alive.
'A bra. She isn't wearing a bra, obviously. Women wear those, Ryland. And now you're staring very intensely at her bare back like a creep.'
At this point, he was fairly certain his face and ears were flaming. Out of all the things for his brain to run a blank on, it had to be that?
Of course she wasn't wearing one, because it got airlocked into space with the rest of the ruined clothes and blood stained towels. And he, being the idiot he was, only provided the clothes he thought were necessary—the cardigan, a t-shirt, pants, socks and underwear.
Oh dear god.
She was wearing his—
The mental image that popped into his head needed to be extinguished immediately. His face was going to explode.
Letting these two borrow and swap his clothes was the biggest mistake of his life, cause clearly it had switched on a chemical in his brain that only cared about that. It was prominent in his past – and only – relationship, but given that this scenario was definitely not that, he was ready to slam his head against a wall in hopes to reset his brain.
What was wrong with him? He was five seconds away from airlocking himself into the emptiness of space.
"Anything different?" Astra asked after a beat, the sound of her voice making him flinch back.
"Uh, yeah— Yes, there's a difference." He swallowed, hoping his voice didn't sound as strained as it felt. "The dorsal fins grew a bit in some parts. So it starts large around the top, then proceeds to get the smaller the further down it..."
He trailed off, eyes squinting from behind his glasses as he zeroed in on her lower back. Lost in his own daze, he missed the splotches of green scales forming above the hem of her pants, the fins seeming to dip beneath the cloth with it.
At his silence, Astra tilted her head to glance over her shoulder at him. "What is it? Is there something else?" She asked, her grip on the shirt faltering as she began to nervously shuffle where she sat.
"Maybe. Do you mind if I—?" He paused, unsure on how to phrase it without sounding awkward. "The fins go underneath your pants. So is it alright if I check under them?" That wasn't great wording, either.
To be fair, there wasn't exactly a normal way to ask a woman to look inside her pants, even in this unusual scenario. Didn't make him cringe any less, though.
She blinked a couple of times, and Grace desperately avoided eye contact as he could feel Simon's stare burning into him. At first she tried to angle her face further, attempting to see what he could, but to no avail.
With a shaky sigh, she rested her body forward again. "That's fine. Go ahead." She murmured, the possibility of a new abnormality putting her on edge, noticeable in the way her voice wavered.
With her permission, Grace went to loop his thumb in the center of her waist band. He pulled it back, forcing himself to ignore the sight of his boxer briefs hugging her hips—surprisingly easy, after he noticed what was underneath there.
Sprouting from her tailbone, there was a small, scaly appendage, the dorsal fins running along it similar to her spine. It was like an extension of it, to which it didn't take him long to figure out what it was.
"Oh." That's all the left him, the sound causing her to tense. His lips pursed, staring for a while longer to confirm what it was before he spoke again. "You're growing a little tail."
It was actually kind of cute. Judging from their responses though, they didn't hold the same sentiment as the amazed scientist.
"What?!"
"What the fuck?"
Was their simultaneous responses, with Simon leaning backwards to get a better look. Grace held the fabric with one hand, using the other to raise the appendage up for his view, only to startle when Astra's body jolted away.
"Sorry! I was just trying to get a better look at it." He panicked, his hands flinging away from her like he had been burned. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to– God, I'm so sorry!"
Astra was quick to wave a hand in dismissal, her shirt falling to bunch around her middle. "N–no, it's fine. It didn't hurt, it just feels... strange." She replied hesitantly, her breaths coming out in shallow bursts at the sudden spike of anxiety. "Fuck, is it really a tail?"
The disbelief in her voice was prominent, to which Grace glanced back down with a grimace on his face. "I think so? Not sure what else it'd be since it's growing from your tailbone. But it's small right now, so hopefully it stays that way."
Astra hummed, a wobbly sound that wasn't very reassured by that. "Okay. Well, that's definitely new."
While Grace went to input their new findings, Simon observed the small appendage with a mix of interest and disturbance. "How'd you not notice it until now? That seems pretty obvious."
"Can you move it around?" Grace interjected with that question, halting Astra from forming a snarky remark. Instead she shot a glare at the dark-haired man, who remained unfazed with a subtle, amused smirk on his face.
She let out a huff, her hands fiddling in her lap. "I don't know. Guess I could try..." She mumbled, unsure as to how she'd even do that—just think about it moving, she supposed.
It was as simple as that, her body twitching on instinct when she could feel the appendage shift. The experience was jarring to herself, but not to the two men around her, one appearing mildly intrigued while the other was bursting with exhilarated fascination.
"You can! How does it feel? Is it like having another limb? Or I guess it's not considered a limb, too small and no joints, so an appendage. But you know what I mean!" The scientist rambled while he snatched up the computer, eager to write down the new discovery as quickly as possible. "Can you control it voluntarily, such as the direction? Or does it move on its own? Do you have to think about it for it move?"
While Astra could understand his insatiable curiosity – she'd been there plenty of times herself – it felt a lot more overwhelming when she was the subject of it. Her head was spinning, trying to digest the fact she had a tail now, while also failing to keep up with the blonde behind her as he listed off multiple questions at a rapid pace.
Simon, who could practically see her head buffering in real time, shot a warning glare towards Grace. "Give her a second. She's not some animal in a zoo for you to study." He snapped, his demeanor shifting from calm to irritated in the blink an eye.
That was another thing Grace noticed about Simon. He was generally impassive – though he figured that was how he guarded himself – save for his aggressive tendencies. The man got annoyed very easily, especially towards himself or with anything negative involving Astra.
While Simon did appear to have a temper with his sudden outbursts around the ship, moments like these felt different—a spontaneous anger in response to protecting something close to him. It was as if whenever Astra became distressed, he became hyper-aware of it, his brain automatically on the defense to shield her from whatever was causing it.
It convinced him further that there had to be something between them. No one would have that strong of reaction unless they cared deeply for the person it was affecting.
Grace blinked, looking away from his screen as he tilted his head. "You know what a zoo is?" He knew that question was wrong as soon as it left his mouth, the harsh glower he received making him shrink into himself. "Sorry! That was the wrong thing to focus on. I didn't mean to— Obviously she's not. I just wanted to see what she was feeling and how the tail worked, so I could add onto the mutation notes... and that sounds bad, doesn't it? How do I—"
Astra quickly interrupted, addressing the man beside her with a loud exhale. "Simon, stop terrorizing the poor man for five seconds. You'll make him pass out again." She sent the blonde a weak smile over her shoulder, a silent reassurance that she held no offense to his onslaught of questioning. "I'm fine... It's just a lot to process. First time having a tail and all."
It was obvious she was trying to mask her nerves with humor, even as the playful tinge to her voice faltered. Grace offered her a sympathetic smile, his hands hovering over the keyboard uncertainly once she turned away. He debated physical comfort for a second, anything to ease her nerves, until his eyes shifted down, spotting their interlocked hands against Simon's thigh before darting away again.
There was a painful squeeze in his chest, one he forced himself to ignore.
"No, I got carried away. Sorry about that." He mumbled, the enthusiasm in his voice drained. He scratched at the back of his neck, keeping his eyes trained solely on the screen. "If you want, I can move onto Simon's examination if you need a breather."
"Yeah, I think– I think that's a good idea." She nodded along as her smile fell, her complexion paler than usual. As the woman stumbled up to her feet and adjusted her shirt, she sent Simon a warning glance. "Don't do anything stupid, Si."
Said person rolled his eyes, a stark contrast to the worry swirling inside them as he watched her walk away. "No promises." Another pointed stare was sent his way, causing him to turn away with a shrug.
The silence that settled over the pair after she left was defeaning, with a tension so thick it could be sliced through with a knife.
Grace shifted where he sat, ten times more nervous than he had been with Astra still around. He'd only been alone with Simon a handful of times, and even then it was at a distance. Neither of the two actually interacted with one another, it was more so him observing the man until he'd get caught, the withering stare he'd get in return making him scurry away.
Needless to say, there was a fifty-fifty chance he'd get out of this alive.
Unable to stand the painful silence much longer, Grace reluctantly opened his mouth. "Are you alright if I—?"
"I'll do it." Simon's gruff voice cut him off, his tone suggesting he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
The blonde swallowed a lump in his throat, not daring to object or move from where he was frozen. He watched as the man peeled his shirt off with practiced ease, having adapted to doing so with one arm after countless frustrated entanglements in the fabric. It was carelessly tossed aside, joining the cardigan Astra left behind.
He tried not to stare, for more reasons than one. Muscles rippled along the tan skin of his back, littered with faded scars that consisted of cuts and burns marks of different shapes and sizes. He wondered how he'd gotten the prior of those two. It wasn't the type of wound that'd come from working with machinery, especially the larger wounds that could've only healed from a nasty gash through the flesh.
Strange. He'd make a mental note of that.
Aside from that, there was an unmistakable alteration on the left side of his torso—most of his mutations seemed to stem from that side, except for his right arm. Along his ribs four long, dark slits cut into the skin, the entire area around it scarred like it had been scorched. They looked like gills from the way the skin overlapped and connected, and considering they were mutating from an ocean-like environment, it made sense.
Grace tilted his head to the side, concentrated on the new abnormality as he subconsciously reached forward. He went to drag a finger underneath a gill, simply to confirm that's what it was, his touch as light as a feather to avoid any harm.
Unfortunately, his touch was still harmful in a way that didn't cause pain. The muscles in his back immediately tensed, before Simon whirled around to the side, his right hand latching onto his in an iron grip.
The snarl on his face had Grace's heart plummeting into his stomach, even more so with the rows of teeth that split further open from it. His crimson iris practically glowed, both eyes glaring into his very soul with pupils reduced to slits, burning with a resentment that could only stem from years of torment.
"The fuck are you doing?" He snapped, his hold crushing around his hand. His voice was rigid, an edge to it that devolved into a frantic tremble near the end.
Grace winced, both from the pain shooting up his arm and the predatory-like stare burning into him. Bad idea, his stupid brain shouldn't have done that. He silently prayed that Astra returned before Simon ate him alive.
"I–I was checking the new mutation on your left side! You have gills, but I wasn't sure at first, so I was just trying to see if it was!" He rushed out through gritted teeth, his hand flexing uncomfortably in his grip. "Can you please let go now? That hurts."
Simon blinked, his harsh gaze flickering from the blonde's scrunched up countenance to the hand trapped in his grasp. With a huff he released it, shoving it towards his body and sending him backwards with the sudden momentum. He didn't spare him another glance as he turned back around.
"Don't touch me again. Got it?" He grumbled under his breath, slouching forward with his arm propped against his crossed legs. The statement about the gills was hardly processed by his erratic mind.
Grace cradled his hand to his chest as he sat up, scooting himself further away from the man in front of him. He swallowed thickly, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart from the sudden spike of fear that shot through him. "Uhm... Yes, got it. I'm sorry, I should've asked before I did that."
After that, an awkward silence settled over the two. He pursed his lips, staring at Simon's head of dark, wavy hair with uncertainty.
So he definitely had some trust and anger issues from his past. Potentially some problems with violence as well, if his newly bruised hand had a say in it.
The scientist didn't say anything further – he was not risking any other bodily harm – and instead busied himself with placing the laptop in his lap. He began typing away at the keyboard, occasionally wincing from the ache in his left hand and trying to stretch out the sore muscles.
The quiet in the room was suffocating. Even the clicking of the keys was like nails on a chalkboard, far too loud when all he wanted was to disappear from Simon's radar completely. Somehow it went far worse than he expected, which was saying a lot since he didn't think it'd go well in the first place.
Could Astra come back now? He needed adult supervision before he ended up running off like a frightened deer.
Simon shifted where he sat, the motion causing Grace to tense up, now hyper-aware of every movement he made. He could hear a clink and shuffling, a sound that told him he was fiddling with the bracelet he kept wound around his wrist.
Then there was a deep breath, like the next words about to leave his mouth needed every ounce of courage to utter. "Is your hand okay?" His voice was quiet, a hint of regret replacing the animosity from earlier.
Grace eyed the man, namely his posture—taut frame, hunched shoulders, fidgeting arm and hand. Signs of guilt, ones that had him unknowingly relaxing in his spot.
Okay, a sliver of progress. He could work with that.
"It should be fine. Nothing broken, sooo..." He responded, the syllables slow and hesitant. Though a flex of his hand made him grimace and second guess himself. "At least I don't think it is? I've never broken a bone before but I imagine it hurts way more than this. It'll probably just be a bad bruise."
Simon rolled his shoulder, his head tilting against it yet refusing to turn towards him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, uh... attack you, like that." He mumbled, surprisingly sincere despite the strain in his voice. "I just– I'm not comfortable with– with..."
The words died in his throat, unable to properly express what he wanted to say. He never was good at talking about his feelings, let alone to someone he'd only known for a couple of days and didn't want to reveal too much to.
Though, Grace had observed him up until this point, and with the information he already knew about them, the answer was fairly obvious.
"People you don't know well enough to determine what their intentions might be?" He finished for him. In a way, he could understand and empathize with that—he wished he'd acted even the slightest bit wary when he naively decided to be apart of this mission.
Simon gave a low hum of confirmation, the muscles in his back visibly protracting from relief. Grace couldn't see his expression and the conflict that might have been there, but at least he was calming down.
Which was very reassuring after he nearly gave him a heart attack and a broken hand. Simon was as strong as he looked, that was certain.
There wasn't a reply aside from that, so he took that as his sign to continue. "I get it. You don't trust me, and I don't blame you with how crazy all of this is. I'd be skeptical too if I was in your shoes." He spoke a little quickly, anxious to finally get this off his chest after days of avoidance. "You don't have to trust me, I'm not trying to convince you to. But for what it's worth, I'm not going to hurt you or Astra. Don't think someone like me could even if I tried. Plus, it's two against one, so..."
It was a poor attempt at a joke, one that had no noticeable reaction. Grace gave an awkward clearing of his throat, quickly moving on from that. "What I mean is, I'm only trying to help the best I can. I know this situation isn't ideal after what you've been through, and it's difficult for you to believe me, but I'd have no reason to lie. I want to help you guys get home, to get back to the Earth you once knew... I want to go home, too."
His words slowed at the end, softening into a whisper that held nothing but longing. Returning to Earth had been all he could think about since this trip began, aside from the occasional derail when it came to how much he missed Rocky—the sole reason he was able to return home in the first place.
But there wasn't anything he could do about his alien friend now. Not when he was given a second chance at life, the one he was robbed of to be sent on a suicide mission he wanted no part of. Yet somehow, it ended up being the best experience of his life.
Well, apart from where he almost died a few of times. He could've done better without those close calls.
Regardless, he wanted to return to Earth as much as these two did and had no reason to steer them wrong. Though, he wouldn't admit aloud that he didn't mind the trip as much now that they had come along and satiated the loneliness that was driving him to the brink of insanity. Even Simon's presence made him feel at ease, just not in a way that prevented his heart from palpitating in his chest.
There was a beat of silence, one where Grace figured that was the end of their conversation. At least he'd gotten the brooding and closed-off man to talk for a little bit, so he'd consider that an improvement in their relation. He didn't try to push, simply returning his attention to his personal notes to jot some extra details down as he let his words hang in the air.
To his surprise, Simon's deep voice reached his ears, his words reluctant like he didn't know what to say but needed to get something out. "I, uh, actually never knew what Earth was like. It'll be nice to return to a planet instead of a damn ship or station, but it's not exactly my home."
The blonde perked up, suddenly like an eager puppy once he remembered that key detail. It was as if the previous interaction had been erased from his memory—except for the forming contusion on his hand, but he paid it little mind.
"Right, you lived on Mars! What was that like? How were you guys able to sustain life on an uninhabitable planet?" Before he could stop himself, the questions began to spew from his mouth, his intrigue too much to fight off. "There's no living organisms, no water and no soil for a food source, nor a breathable atmosphere. Or did all of that change by the time you guys colonized the planet? Does it eventually meet those requirements on its own, or did humans change it to be that way?"
Simon blinked, sending a glance over his shoulder like he was refraining from glaring at the scientist. It was judgemental in the sense that he was bombarding him with unnecessary questions he didn't have the answer to, yet not malicious like his other looks. More so a mild annoyance, one where he silently regretted restarting the conversation in the first place after realizing he had to talk more.
When Grace acknowledged him with a sheepish shrug in return, he huffed, his gaze quickly snapping away. "I don't know much about the, uh, science around that. Was just a kid at the time. I think there was technology that made it liveable, never learned how it worked, though." He mumbled while scratching at his beard. "But a lot of people lived there. I think it was more populated than Earth before the... y'know."
"Really? That's surprising considering the difference in the planets sizes and resources." Grace remarked with interest, unable to fathom how Mars could populate more people than Earth, which was already overcrowded. That was, assuming their Earth's population had been the same as his. "So I'm assuming this advanced technology was used to create a breathable atmosphere. If that's the case, then what about water? Or plants and animals?"
Simon hummed, his brows furrowed in concentration as he tried to remember what he could. "Animals were trickier than humans. They didn't adapt as easily to new environments, especially artificial ones. I remember wanting to see some as a kid, but my mom explained that the only animals we had were those that were on farms at the time. They were working on expanding it." A smirk curled on his lips, turning his head enough to see the blonde behind him through his dark, wavy hair. "So yes, I know what a zoo is. I just never got to see one."
"Ah." Grace felt his face flare up, clearing his throat as he averted his gaze back to his screen. "So then, were most people vegan on Mars? If you could grow crops, that is. I'm assuming so, since animals don't appear to be the main food source."
"We could, we had large centers dedicated to growing and maintaining crops year round." Simon nodded, eyeing the cracked pendant he was subconsciously messing with. "I guess you could say we relied more on that, along with artificial foods created to replace the nutrients lacking from our diet. Meat was more of a luxury, if anything."
Grace's fingers flew across the keyboard as he typed in every detail with complete immersion, having long since abandoned the mutation document. "Then if you were able to do all that, there must be a recyclable water source on the planet? Plants need water to live. Along with every other life form, apparently."
The last part was a mumble, his sour tone making Simon tilt his head, glancing at him from the corner of his eye questioningly. Seeing as Grace refused to look his way, seemingly mulling over something irritating in his own head, he brushed it off.
"We had an ocean of sorts that was man-made to create a water system that ran through the cities." He answered slowly. "It was closed off from the public. Strictly used for essential needs of the people through a recycling system so it wouldn't dry up."
"Then this colony on Mars was created to be like a smaller Earth replica, in a sense?" Grace clarified, struggling to picture how this colony would look with all of Simon's descriptions, especially with how barren Mars was. So far, his brain was picturing something similar to a sci-fi movie—their universe was further into the future, after all.
Simon gave a helpless shrug of his shoulders. "I guess, just a lot hotter and drier than it. Like a desert on Earth, but it's the entire planet." He tried to explain more, his face scrunching up at the fuzzy memories. "Lots of dust storms, not much rain. Some plant life here and there for the landscape, but it's pretty sparse. Other vegetation was usually maintained in large polytunnels, like the crops and botanical gardens."
The blonde gave a hum of acknowledgment, jotting down what he said when the sound of footsteps caught his attention. He glanced up, spotting Astra as she stepped into the lab.
She sent them a small smile, her complexion no longer a ghostly pale hue, much to each of their relief. "How's everything going so f—?"
Before she could finish, Simon turned to her with an expression that was entirely deadpan. "I bruised his hand. Might've broken it, don't know."
Immediately her face dropped, her eyebrows shooting up in a mixture of shock and distress. "You– you did what?! Simon!"
Grace chuckled nervously, holding onto his laptop as the auburn-haired woman rushed over. "I'm fine, really! It was a small misunderstanding. No harm done. I don't think it's broken or anything. It's probably—"
For the first time Simon actually turned around, and Grace found the frantic words dying on his tongue, shrinking into himself as the larger man stared him straight on. Wordlessly he reached his hand out, the crimson scales growing along his forearm shining beneath the overhead lights.
"Wha—" Grace sputtered as he plucked the computer from him, carelessly setting it aside and shutting it. "Hey, I was using that! I'm not done writing down your new—"
He barely had time to adjust before he was bombarded by a fretful Astra. She crowded against his side and grabbed at his arm to check the damage, all while scolding the dark-haired man under her breath, who looked entirely unfazed by it.
He was more than positive his face was glowing red, whether it be from the proximity of her squished against his side, or the fingers delicately examining his hand and wrist where the discoloration was blooming across his pale skin. It was obvious, he knew it was because he saw Simon's mismatched irises flicker across his face, before he turned away with a barely contained snicker.
Was that a good reaction? Or was he silently making fun of him again? It felt impossible to tell, even after their first actual conversation together.
Either way, he was on fire and about to melt into a puddle right then and there if she kept touching him. The things these two were doing to his brain could not be healthy in the slightest.
God, he was so screwed.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
After Astra had ensured his hand was not broken, they checked for any further changes in their appearances, then went their separate ways. That left Grace to finish up any notes, both mutation wise and his personal observations. The lighting system in the ship had dimmed to simulate night-time, so aside from the bright glow of his computer screen, it was dark.
Some time had passed before Grace was both satisfied and exhausted from his typing. The laptop was closed and slid onto a nearby table before he stood up to stretch, the darkness of the ship now enveloping him.
His quilt and pillow remained in the lab where it always had, tucked against a corner of xenonite. It was a spot that Rocky often watched over him from when he overworked himself and refused to sleep, until the alien would basically throw a tantrum about him making himself stupid and ruining tasks.
He missed the little guy. Even with his new company and the exhilaration of experiencing human contact again, something was still missing.
Alien or not, Rocky was a close friend of his, and the regret of leaving him behind was steadily creeping in again—a dreadful pit in his gut of being alone, stranded in deep space with nothing but his thoughts to accompany him.
Without thinking his feet began to move, his converse scraping against the metal platforms as he trudged through the ship. Not long after he found his destination, he froze, standing in the entryway with an arm propped against the side to peer in.
Astra and Simon slept in the dormitory most of the time from his knowledge. It was a place meant for sleeping with its beds, padded floors and walls. So yeah, he supposed that's why. Definitely the only remotely comfy spot on this ship, way better than sleeping on the hard floor with a blanket and pillow.
However, the beds were empty and he could see their two figures crowded in the corner—funnily enough the one farthest from where Armando was stationed near the beds.
Simon had his back against the walls, his head resting lazily atop of unruly, auburn locks where Astra's head laid against his upper chest. His one arm was wrapped securely around her waist, her own wrapped around and tucked behind his back, their legs intertwined beneath the blanket that covered their lower halves. The top half was lazily covered by the chunky fox cardigan, more so over her than the man lying beneath her—her body heat would've been warmth enough.
They were both already fast asleep, looking completely unbothered by the rest of the world around them, like their worries had melted away the second they were in each other's arms.
He didn't know about it, other than he had heard them wake up from night terrors before. When he'd go to check on them, they were usually sitting next to each other by then, but he supposed he should've assumed there was more comfort in proximity when it came to their sleeping arrangements.
Astra didn't like to be alone, and Simon didn't like stray too far from the one person he was fond of. They needed to be together at night, a time when the haunting memories of their past came to plague their minds. They needed to keep each other safe.
Grace already understood why Rocky wanted to be close, to watch over him. Yet somehow seeing them, despite it being the exact same premise, made him realize how vastly different the two feelings were.
This wasn't the same as him seeking the reassurance Rocky's presence gave him. These were people, with a strong bond that he had no part of and couldn't just barge in because of his own unease.
'They wouldn't want...'
For a minute Grace stared, the steady hum of the ship suddenly deafening to his ears. As he gazed upon the two, wrapped up in each other's arms, shielded away from the rest of the universe in their own little world, he realized something.
Even now, with two new people on board, the company of humans he had been longing for ages now...
He was still alone.
'They wouldn't want me... to bother them. You'll be fine. You always have been.'
Quietly, he walked off, careful not to disrupt their slumber as he trailed back to the pillow and blanket awaiting him in the corner of his lab. He grabbed something along the way, setting it nearby with his discarded glasses before he settled into his spot for the night.
As he burrowed himself in the fabric, shielded away from the universe that seemed to constantly torment him, a small xenonite statue of Rocky sat beside him, watching over him from millions of miles away.
Maybe it wasn't written in the stars for him to belong anywhere.
Me projecting through my new fav character?? More likely than you think
Grace my poor self-deprecating bb, you will be loved soon I promise </3
it took me an embarassingly long time to finally sit down and scribble this garbage (/j). Happy Pride Month everyone i hope my contributions only enrich our community
I know it’s a popular au of Sasha being Archivist, but the reason Jonah chose Jon for Archivist was because he was marked by the Web and had a head start. This means that Tim would be a viable option being marked by the Stranger and all. He also ended up being marked by the Corruption, so until Jon got burned by Jude they were tied. So we should have more Tim!Archivist aus like this:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)/Ryland Grace, Adrian/Rocky (Project Hail Mary)
Characters: Ryland Grace, The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Rocky (Project Hail Mary)
Additional Tags: Touch-Starved Ryland Grace, Touch-Starved The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Simon was in a cult, simon is a wet puppy, The Convict | Simon Has Religious Trauma (Iron Lung), simon and rocky are bros, simon teaching rocky swears, Smut, Eventual Smut, Trans Ryland Grace, ace Simon, Ryland Grace Is Not Graceful, Ryland Grace Needs a Hug, Ryland Grace Acts Like a Wet Cat, AuDHD Ryland Grace, Autistic simon, comfort that white boy, BloodyMary, Happy Ending, Lots of Angst, ryland grace has a really hard time being touched, he really wants cuddles tho, its just hard for him
Summary:
this fic is like every other bloodymary fic. they find Simon on their way back to Erid and help him recover while trying desperately to make the food situation work. they get to heal together and become friends and then more than friends and its super duper gay. their relationship and the way they perceive one another changes as they are forced to get closer.
also shout out to my friend bella who helped me name the fic/pre read it
they are the goat
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)/Ryland Grace, Adrian/Rocky (Project Hail Mary)
Characters: Ryland Grace, The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Rocky (Project Hail Mary)
Additional Tags: Touch-Starved Ryland Grace, Touch-Starved The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Simon was in a cult, simon is a wet puppy, The Convict | Simon Has Religious Trauma (Iron Lung), simon and rocky are bros, simon teaching rocky swears, Smut, Eventual Smut, Trans Ryland Grace, ace Simon, Ryland Grace Is Not Graceful, Ryland Grace Needs a Hug, Ryland Grace Acts Like a Wet Cat, AuDHD Ryland Grace, Autistic simon, comfort that white boy, BloodyMary, Happy Ending, Lots of Angst, ryland grace has a really hard time being touched, he really wants cuddles tho, its just hard for him
Summary:
this fic is like every other bloodymary fic. they find Simon on their way back to Erid and help him recover while trying desperately to make the food situation work. they get to heal together and become friends and then more than friends and its super duper gay. their relationship and the way they perceive one another changes as they are forced to get closer.
also shout out to my friend bella who helped me name the fic/pre read it
they are the goat
“It just means you have to work double as hard as most people!”
Well maybe I don’t WANT to work double as hard as abled people!! Maybe I deserve a BREAK!! Maybe I’ve been working MORE THAN double as hard for MY WHOLE LIFE and it’s led me to immense burnout & caused me to develop several MORE disabilities!! Maybe I should be ACCOMMODATED so I don’t have to KILL MY BODY AND BRAIN over trying to do what abled people can do!! Maybe I DON’T have to work double as hard!! Maybe if there’s the option to let me NOT work double as hard, I should have it, because I’m already working double as hard JUST TO SURVIVE!!
Why do you think disabled people deserve less rest than mentally & physically abled people?
2087
germansingergirl
jbbartram-illu
titsay
janainaart
