Download or Not

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The Shallows

There are so many things about The Shallows that really intrigued me. Blake Lively is one of them, but the first is definitely a great white shark movie. I love most shark movies with Jaws, Open Water, and Deep Blue Sea being the top shark movies out there. The plot of the movie is not so hard to follow, but there is a lot of character depth that gets added.

Nancy Adams (Blake Lively) is traveling to a great surfer’s paradise in a remote part of Mexico. The same remote part of Mexico her mother traveled to when she found out she was pregnant with Nancy. Nancy’s mother just passed away from cancer and Nancy left medical school without telling her father and sister to come to the beach. As it grows darker and high tide comes, Nancy drifts into a dead humpback whale and onto a great white shark feeding ground. Nancy is bitten by the shark on the leg and needs to fight for survival.

The soundtrack, performance from Blake Lively, and the tension of Nancy versus the shark were the best parts of the film. There should be fewer shots to constantly show the proximity of the shark in relation to Nancy. Jaume Collet-Serra did this a lot in Run All Night showing the constant connection of the characters as the story played out. The shark is probably as vicious as the ones in Deep Blue Sea. The movie is not terribly exciting as the most intense parts are towards the end.

The Shallows is a quick fun popcorn film with a great performance from Blake Lively that can be downloaded.

DOWNLOAD.

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Finding Dory

Pixar movies have been down a bit for the past few years since Toy Story 3 came out.  Inside Out was a gem but The Good Dinosaur was one of the, if not the worst Pixar film I’ve watched. Finding Dory is the sequel to the 2003 smash hit, Finding Nemo, which is the best Pixar sequel since Toy Story 3. I’m still waiting for an Incredibles 2.

Taking place a year after Finding Nemo, Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) is missing something inside of her and realizes she misses her parents. Something jogs her memory, and she starts on a journey to find her parents at the “jewel of the marina”. Marlin (Albert Brooks) and Nemo (Hayden Rolence) join Dory in her journey from Australia to California for her parents.

Much of Finding Dory has a familiar feeling with Finding Nemo, but I think the supporting characters in Finding Dory are a bit better, especially Hank (Ed O’Neill), Flue (Idris Elba), and Rudder (Dominic West). The only problem I had with Finding Dory is that it felt like it borrowed the same format as Finding Nemo, but in a much better setting at an aquarium instead of a journey across the ocean. Very hard to find any faults with this movie.

If you love Pixar movies, Finding Nemo, or great childrens’ movies this is a no brainer. Even if you didn’t watch Finding Nemo this movie is still great. Make sure you stay throughout the credits.

THEATER.

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Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer) crushed those Saturday Night Live Digital Shorts and Hot Rod was not a horrendous movie. Their rap parodies are very hilarious that have trickled into pop culture (I’m on a Boat). While most of their digital shorts involve music, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping seems like an extended version of a digital short mixed with a parody of Justin Bieber.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is a mockumentary following popstar, Connor4Real (Andy Samberg) as he is about to release his second album. Before Connor4Real, Connor “Kid Conner” Friel was a member of The Style Boyz, which included his two childhood best friends Owen “Kid Contact” Bouchard (Jorma Taccone) and Lawrence “Kid Brain” Dunn (Akiva Schaffer). Lawrence and Connor had a falling out over the “Catch Phrase” verse which launched Connor into his solo career. Connor4Real had a smash debut album, but now is struggling to gain any sales and attention for his sophomore album.

A lot of the topics, jokes, and drama are making fun of the pop music industry of the past few years. There are a lot of things that are similar with Justin Bieber, but not entirely based off of Bieber. The plot of the movie is very simplistic as the character struggles to gain traction as a solo artist, figuring out who he is and how he got there. Since the movie is a Lonely Island movie, the music is pretty great. There are a lot of funny jokes regarding fans. Since the movie is kind of short, the pacing matches nicely with the simplistic story.

Even though the movie is kind of simplistic and predictable, there are a lot of unpredictable jokes and the music is great. Definitely a theater for Lonely Island fans, but a strong download for everyone else.

DOWNLOAD.

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The Conjuring 2

I’ve been following James Wan as a film maker since the first Saw. From Saw to Death Wish to Insidious to The Conjuring to Fast & Furious 7, James Wan has been one of my favorite directors on a pure technical level. All of the skills he’s acquired since 2004 making all those wonderful movies, I think have culminated into one of the most downright terrifying horror experiences I have ever seen in The Conjuring 2. Much like Alfred Hitchcock, Wan is able to use the position of the camera in conjunction with a well designed set to show you exactly what he wants to show you, while using sound and other implications to illustrate the rest. He’s able to wring out tension and fear in practically every scene he shoots. Horror expertise bleeds out of every foreboding line, every creepy angle, and every scary toe-curling scare. James Wan is now a reliable horror icon in the same vain as Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, and John Carpenter, a true expert in his craft. Yes, The Conjuring 2 is really that damn good, and I cannot recommend it highly enough to anyone looking for a good scare.

Trying to be as spoiler free as possible, The Conjuring 2 is about church appointed paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) trying to help a family in 1980’s England from the spirit of an old man who has attached himself to a young girl named Janet. In parallel, a somewhat retired Ed and Lorraine Warren must get over their own fears of a premonition Lorraine has while investigating the Amityville horror case of her husband Ed being killed by a gigantic, broken branch. I’d suggest not looking up more than this; and, if you’ve somehow missed the first movie, you don’t need to watch it to enjoy this vastly superior sequel.

On a technical level, The Conjuring 2 is one of the most expertly crafted horror movies I’ve ever seen. The dark imagery, the panning back and forth of the camera, the distinctly demonic shadows, the out of focus backgrounds, the reflections on distorted surfaces, everything is controlled to show you just enough of the ghosts and demons in question, to get under your skin and into your psyche. While the movie sounds rather cliché (children being haunted by an evil spirit), James Wan surprises the audience by breaking a lot of horror movie tropes. For one thing, the parent’s genuinely believe the kids when they say there is weird stuff happening in the house, instead of thinking they are lying only to believe them the last ten minutes of the movie. Another thing is that the scary scenes aren’t saved only for nighttime; there are quite a number of effective scares that take place in broad daylight, meaning the family can’t even hide from this thing during the day. Like an expert, Wan uses these trope breaking characteristics to paint a sense of fear and desperation so thick you can feel it emanating off the screen.

If I had to make one complaint it’s that the movie is too long. The run-time is 150 minutes. For such a simplistic plot, a run time of over 2 hours seems like overkill. However, I can’t complain too much because the movie sustains its sense of dread for the entire run-time, which becomes exhausting to deal with. So in the end, it’s almost too much of a good thing. It’s a minor complaint, but one I feel should be mentioned as you can definitely start feeling the elongated running time toward the end.

Other than that minor complaint of the run-time (which is extremely minor), without hesitation I say go watch The Conjuring 2!

Theater

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is a hard movie to judge. If you’re a fanboy (like me) you are going to find anything and everything to love about it, and there are quite a number of things to love about it. First, the characters are the spitting images of the 80’s cartoon in personality. For a fan (like me) it is TMNT nirvana seeing Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang, and Baxter realized on the silver screen for the first time.  And boy, do they nail these characters perfectly. Not just the villains, nearly all the key characters personalities are just perfect. It made me feel like a kid again seeing them walk and talk on screen. Second, the action is filmed quite nicely. Which isn’t surprising since this is a Michael Bay produced movie, so I imagine a lot of the budget was poured into explosions and pyrotechnics.  Those two positive things being said, the lack of ninjitsu action and the fact that the good guys and villains don’t interact with each other that much, became flaws that were too glaring to ignore.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is about Shedder helping Krang find pieces of a interdimensional portal device so Krang can transport his technodrome war machine to earth and take over the planet. Along the way, Shredder enlists the help of Bebop, Rocksteady, and Baxter Stockman to help make this happen. The Turtles, April, and Casey Jones try to stop his plans from happening, and do I really have to explain this anymore? The plot is no more complicated than a Saturday morning cartoon. It’s a simplistic plot for a simplistic movie, and that’s okay. My problem with the plot is it could have moved at a faster pace, and the movie needed more hand to hand fight scenes instead of explosions and cars flipping over. Shredder doesn’t even fight anyone the whole movie, which is disappointing because the movie sets him up as some ultimate badass. Bebop and Rocksteady have a two minute fight with the turtles on a crashing airplane, not exactly the brawl/rumble between them I was hoping for. It would have been fun to see them fight since it would be brute force vs. ninjitsu. More Krang would have helped give the plot a little more coherence since he is the head honcho villain of the movie but only shows up at the beginning and end of the movie. While the characters themselves are fantastic, the interaction between them leaves a lot to be desired.

Where the movie shines is the personalities of the characters. The turtles are the same as the first movie, it was spot on then and its spot on now. Bebop and Rocksteady are a ton of fun on screen as a bro’d out criminal duo embracing their new Rhino and Warthog bodies. Shredder was menacing and intimidating, though he didn’t have much to do nor had any fight scenes. Krang steals the show as a narcissistic and disgusting to look at megalomaniac. It’s hilarious hearing Krang call his robot body an idiot or bossing Shredder around, and Brad Garret does a great job as his voice. Megan Fox brings in another ‘meh’ performance as April, not great but not offensively bad.  Stephen Amell is a little too pretty boy and chipper as Casey Jones. But, the pretty girl needs a pretty boy to be romantically involved with, so that’s fine. I guess they didn’t want to make Casey Jones the grizzly psychopath he was in the cartoon. Other than Casey, all the characters are perfectly realized and are fun to watch.

So, would I recommend Out of the Shadows? For fans of the 80’s cartoon, yes I absolutely would. The positives far outweigh the negatives and it’s a ton of fun seeing these characters you know and love on screen. But, ignoring my fanboyism and being as objective as possible, Out of the Shadows is awkwardly paced and too shallow to recommend a theater viewing. It’s a 100 minute Saturday morning cartoon.

If you’re a fan of TMNT, watch it, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. For the masses, it’s enjoyable enough for a download

 Download.

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Captain America: Civil War

The Captain America movies just keep getting better and better! The first was a decent (but forgettable) intro to Steve Rodgers and bringing him to modern times. Captain America: The Winter Soldier upped the ante and gave us an action packed thriller. Captain America: Civil War rockets the franchise into outer space with an emotionally complex tale featuring themes such as loyalty, revenge, and redemption. Civil War has (for the most part) no good guys or bad guys. Everyone in the story are victims of circumstance and/or prisoners to their own moral barometer. One could easily argue that Captain America is on the right side, or that Iron Man is on the right side. It’s this kind of complexity which elevates Civil War above fluff entertainment like Avengers.

Civil War is about the fracturing of the Avengers. After the city leveling battles in New York, Washington D.C, and Sokovia; the United Nations believes the Avengers need to be put in check. They propose a treaty which would put total control of the Avengers into the hands of the U.N. Half the team (Iron Man, War Machine, Black Widow, Vision, Black Panther) believe this is the right thing to do, and the other half (Captain America, Falcon, Scarlett Witch, Hawkeye, Bucky Barnes) do not. During this argument, a terrorist attack occurs and video proof of Bucky Barnes being the culprit arises. Captain America believes his friend Bucky is being framed and comes to his aid, which unfortunately attracts the attention of the Avengers who signed the U.N. treaty. Now under the control of world governments, Iron Man must treat his former ally Captain America like a criminal in order to bring in the suspected terrorist Bucky Barnes, a.k.a The Winter Soldier.

Along the way Spider-man and Ant Man join in on the fight in a truly fantastic action scene set in an airport. This scene was definitely the highlight of the movie for me. The directors (The Russo Brothers) expertly balance all of the characters and their powers, and give each character a moment to shine. No moment feels wasted and no moment feels overdone. The most emotional moment of the movie comes at the end when a dark secret held by Captain America comes to light and causes Iron Man to go absolutely berserk. I don’t want to spoil too many things obviously, but let’s just say that Tony has every right to be angry, and Steve has every right to defend his friend. Going back to what I said earlier, it’s this kind of complexity which makes Civil War shine brighter than most comic book movies.

For me, Captain America: Civil War is on par with The Dark Knight in emotional complexity, and on par with X2: X-Men United in super power excitement. I don’t see how anyone who was remotely looking forward to it could be disappointed. Go see it!

Theater

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The Huntsman: Winter’s War

In the prequel and sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman the world needed, The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a movie that should be neither seen nor heard. I am very surprised because the cast contains fairly smart actresses with great success lately. In the prequel portion of the movie, Ravenna (Charlize Theron) is playing chess with her husband, some random King, and after a clever pun is seen murdering her husband with some magic so she can become the new ruler. At Ravenna’s husband’s funeral, her sister, Freya (Emily Blunt), is seen making eyes with the Duke of Blackwood. It should be noted that Freya has no magic powers. Turns out the Duke of Blackwood is betrothed to another. Freya becomes preggers and has a baby, which makes Ravenna very concerned. Freya assures Ravenna that the Duke will be telling his family that he will leave his fiance to be with Freya and the baby. Freya receives a note to meet the Duke in the garden at night, only to find that her room in the tower is on fire. As she runs upstairs, her baby has died in a fire and her magic powers are awakened as she freezes the Duke, who was the one to set the fire. With Freya’s new found powers, she decides that she can not stay around Ravenna and sets out for her own kingdom north of The Forest. Frey has become bitter and believes that love only holds you back. As she starts crushing in the North, she takes all of the children to become her huntsmen. Three young huntsman really stand out; Eric (Chris Hemsworth), Sara (Jessica Chastain), and Tull (Sope Dirisu) in her army. As Eric and Sara grow older, there is a strong love connection between them. As they tell Freya, they are forced to fight their way out of it, and are victorious before Freya casts a large ice wall between Sara and Eric. Eric sees Tull stab and kill Sara. Eric is then defeated and is thrown in a river to die. That completes the prequel portion of the movie, now we move ahead to seven years after Snow White and the Huntsman. King William (Sam Claflin) tells Eric, Snow White (Not Kristen Stewart) has gone a bit crazy from the magic mirror and has insisted it being removed from the castle. As it is in the process of being moved, it has been stolen by goblins. William asks Eric to go find the mirror and bring it to Sanctuary.

The movie jam packs a lot of story into something so stupid. Do we really need a sequel to Snow White that does not even have Snow White in it? No, we do not. The acting was a bit over the top from Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron, and Jessica Chastain but somehow Chris Hemsworth is as Chris Hemsworth as ever. The accents in the movie were a bit all over the place in this magic world, wherever they are. I thought since the director was the visual effects supervisor from the last movie, there would at least be some amazing visual effects. I was mistaken, pretty much only the magic mirror looked the best. All of Freya’s powers with the ice looked very cheesy and poorly done. The best part of the movie have to be the dwarves, Nion (Nick Frost), Gryff (Rob Brydon), Bromwyn (Sheridan Smith), and Doreena (Alexandra Roach), which provided at least some comic relief from a boring movie.

A prequel/sequel to Snow White which does not even have Snow White in it should be avoided at all costs.

AVOID.

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Colonia

I always wonder who will be the ones to challenge Jennifer Lawrence for the crown of the best young actress in Hollywood currently. Brie Larson and Alicia Vikander really brought it last year. My money has always been on Emma Watson to try and come challenge her for the throne. Colonia is the story of revolution in Chile in 1973. While the youth want a communist president, there is a military coup to have Augusto Pinochet be the new leader of Chile. The story revolves around Lena (Emma Watson) who is a flight attendant for Lufthansa airlines coming to visit her boyfriend, Daniel (Daniel Brühl). Daniel has been living in Chile for about 4 months and has become involved with the revolution, being the lead artist and co-leader of the organization. After the coup, many of the revolutionist are being rounded up and being held by the military and secret police in the national soccer stadium. After an informant identifies Daniel, he is quickly escorted out of the stadium. Lena is left alone in Chile and starts in acquiring where Daniel has been taken. Lena receives no help from any revolutionary members and from the German Embassy. Lena does find out that Daniel has been taken to a place called Colonia Dignidad, by Amnesty International. Colonia Dignidad is a cult retreated headed by Paul Schäfer (Michael Nyqvist), who people call Pius. The cult is a Christian based organization who separate women, men, and children from each other and the outside world. Meanwhile, Daniel at Colonia Dignidad has been tortured by Pinochet’s secret police to name his other accomplices. Lena decides to join Colonia Dignidad to try to save Daniel.

The plot and the world of Colonia Dignidad are the most fascinating parts of the movie. There is so much going on with how creepy the place is and Michael Nyqvist just kills that role. All of the other characters from the Colonia Dignidad do great jobs, especially Aunt Gisela (Richenda Carey) and Ursel (Vicky Krieps). The problem I had with the movie is definitely the dialogue and how minor characters needed to say what they needed to do out loud. There are such winning lines like “Let’s pick him up and bring him to the hospital” or “We have to go that way”. The acting was okay, I did not think the chemistry between Watson and Brühl was that believable, but I did believe she was willing to do anything to find him and get out of Colonia Dignidad. I would really love to see a documentary about that place.

Colonia shows a fascinating cult organization with great acting from the supporting cast but not so great acting from the leads.

DOWNLOAD.

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Hardcore Henry

Hardcore Henry (the first ever 100% first person action movie) is quite the experience. It’s most definitely not a ‘good’ movie, but it’s also not ‘bad’. It’s unique, so it gets a lot of breaks for trying something new and bold. It takes advantage of its unique concept is some truly incredible ways, but the limitations of sticking to only a first person camera are glaring and story breaking. I applaud director Ilya Naishuller for having the guts to make something so unique and risky, this is a tough concept to sell to someone. But because of uninteresting characters and an uninteresting story, as much as Hardcore Henry will thrill you it will equally bore you.

Unsurprisingly, the story plays out much like a first person shooter video game. YOU are Henry, you experience everything he experiences. First he wakes up submerged in liquid with bio-monitors attached to him. With no memory of who he is, he wakes up in what appears to be a lab; with a woman in front of him claiming to be is wife. After a brief introduction to this woman, the rest of the lab team attempt to ‘calibrate’ the rest of Henry’s senses, including his ability to speak. Before he gets that ability however, an effeminate, white haired, European man with telekinetic abilities kidnaps his wife and tries to kill Henry. After escaping the lab and imbued with super-human abilities, Henry is on quest to find this telekinetic guy and get his wife back. Henry is also assisted in his quest by a mysterious handler named Jimmy (Sharlto Copley) who appears to die in one scene and re-appear the next scene unscathed.  Who is Henry and who can he trust? The answers are found out in a series of extremely well choreographed action scenes.

The action scenes are definitely the star of the show, and believe me; you’ve never seen action scenes quite like these. You feel everything punch, gun shot, and explosion as if you are there in the thick of it; and it’s all portrayed convincingly. Henry is jumping off buildings, jumping off motorcycles, firing mini-guns, fighting tanks, doing hand-to-hand fighting with 30 guys a one time; the action is nice and varied and no two scenes ever feel the same. The movie has just enough action to keep you interested for its 90 minute run time, even though the dialogue scenes will bore you to tears. The concept wears thin after awhile, but the movie is far from repetitive.

The sheer originality of Hardcore Henry keeps it afloat. I was bored and enthralled in equal dosage. When its good, its good; and when its bad, it’s bad. It’s not a good movie, but I’m giving it a ‘theater’ rating because if you are going to watch it, the big screen is the best way. I don’t think anyone who walks into this movie knowing full well what it is would be disappointed, just slightly bored from time to time. I saw this movie in a format called D-Box. This is where the seat moves, shakes, and vibrates in parallel to what’s happening on screen. I’ve seen a few movies in D-Box and was rather unimpressed with the experience, but Hardcore Henry was definitely made for D-Box. If you have the ability, I must insist that you watch in D-Box. It’s well worth the extra ticket price and makes the movie feel like an amusement park ride.

Theater

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The Boss (2016)

Melissa McCarthy is quite possible the only bankable comedian right now in Hollywood besides Kevin Hart. The Boss is a movie that doesn’t really have a big theater draw, but still have some very funny parts. Michelle Darnell (Melissa McCarthy) grows up an unwanted orphan who is constantly dropped back off at the orphanage questioning why no one wants her. After she slowly become a teenager and an young adult, she decides that no one needs family and they only hold you back. Speed up to current time, Michelle Darnell is the 46th richest woman in the world and the CEO of three Fortune 500 companies. Michelle’s long time assistant, Claire Rawlings (Kristen Bell), tries very hard to ask for a raise, finding it difficult being available 24/7 and a single mother. Michelle denies her the raise and is pretty uninterested in Claire’s personal life. As Michelle leaves the office, she is handed a package so she can talk to her rival, Ronald Renault (Peter Dinklage). Renault is upset that Michelle has pulled off an insider trading move to block the purchase of a company and threatens to turn her into the FTC. During an interview with Gayle King, how Michelle got wealthy is revealed, with an interview with her mentor Ida Marquette (Kathy Bates). After leaving the interview, Michelle gets arrested for insider trading and is sentenced to jail for five months. A month into jail, her lawyer informs her that she is broke because all of her assets are frozen. Claire also comes with the lawyer to inform her that she is no longer Michelle’s assistant and has to take a new job. After Michelle gets out of jail she quickly discovers that there is no one to help her and comes to Claire’s home because she has nowhere else to go. After some time realizing that no one else in her life was going to help her, Michelle decides that her comeback is through selling Claire’s amazing homemade brownies with the help of Claire’s daughter, Rachel (Ella Anderson) and her friends.

There are a handful of very funny scenes and moments in The Boss. The best scenes are the ones with Michelle getting in arguments with a Dandelion mother, Hannah (Annie Mumolo) culminating in a throwdown between Darnell’s Darling vs. The Dandelions in the streets over turf. All of the scenes with Renault are worth watching, except he’s really not in the movie that much. The lead up towards the end is also very hilarious. The real problem I had was really pacing in the middle which drives the plot forward. Very similar with Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone’s other movie, Tammy. I also didn’t understand how Claire was so trusting of Michelle as they basically become business partners selling brownies, even though she knows the kind of person Michelle is.

While The Boss has it’s funny moments there are just enough theater worthy moments.

DOWNLOAD.

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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Disappointment. Disappointment is the only word to describe how I feel about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Here we have a movie featuring the two biggest comic book characters in the world, and here we have a movie which features them doing primarily nothing for an hour and a half. And it’s not like its impossible to make a good story featuring these two hammering on one another. The Frank Miller comic ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ penned this story perfectly; and while BvS: DoJ borrows liberally from that story, it clearly didn’t borrow enough. BvS is a movie which gets the characters motivations to face one another completely wrong, and when the face off happens gets the spirit of the fight totally wrong. I wanted to like this movie so much; so, so much, but….it’s bad.  It’s a bad movie, and as much as I immensely like the actors and characters, I just cannot accept such a haphazardly put together BvS.

 The story; after Man of Steels battle for Metropolis, Bruce Wayne feels Superman is too powerful of a force and has to be stopped.  Even though Superman has sold himself to the public as the ‘good guy’, Batman doesn’t trust such an immense force of power which human beings cannot stop, and which can burn the planet to the ground with no effort whatsoever. Conversely, Superman does trust Batman’s vigilantism. Being the law-abiding citizen Superman is, he believes Batman is an outlaw and shouldn’t be allowed to do whatever he wants to whomever he wants whenever he wants. On the third hand, Lex Luthor shares Batman’s concerns about Superman and decided to take Superman down in his own, more sinister way by creating a Kryptonian monster named Doomsday.

 Sounds like a damn good story, right? Well I’m sad to tell you that the meat of story doesn’t really start until about 90 minutes into the run time. Most of first two thirds of the movie has the characters spending time pondering their existence in the world, intercut with some rather good action scenes. When the showdown finally happens it’s the most disappointing thing. Batman basically pummels Superman for 15 straight minutes. It’s not that I mind seeing Batman beat superman (after all that’s what happens in the comics), but I would have liked some tension in the fight instead of seeing Batman 100% destroy Superman in ten minutes.  And I would have liked to see the fight between them be fueled more by their own principles and morals rather than them being fooled into fighting by Lex Luthor, which was such a cop out. This is a movie about two superheroes issues with each other; let them come to their own resolution instead of having the villain force them into it in cliché ways. We already know they aren’t going to kill each other; this was the movie’s opportunity to work on a philosophical level about the nature of power.

 The movie does have two good qualities. Number one, Ben Affleck is fantastic as Batman. He just downright nails the role as both Bruce and as the bat. His Batman is one scary motherf*cker, and honestly the way I had always pictured Batman.  He is an intimidating tower of strength and speed who has no qualms about shooting, torturing, or maiming those he feels deserve it. I’m looking extremely forward to seeing more of Ben Affleck in this role. He pretty much saved the movie. Number two, Zack Snyder is great at presenting action scenes. He may not get the tone right, but the way he presents the fights on a visual level is epic to say the least. BvS has three particularly great action scenes; one featuring the batmobile, the main showdown between Bat and Supes, and one featuring Batman straight up kicking 20 thugs asses in an abandoned building.

 Those two good qualities are not enough to save the movie though. It’s too riddled with plot holes, an inconsistent tone, and confusing editing for non action scenes. I really want to say that BvS is worth watching, but it’s not, and I’m so sad to say that.  We will probably never get another BvS movie in our life time, and I’m disappointed this is the best we will ever have.

Avoid.

[downloadornot]

Zootopia

Like most people, Walt Disney Animation movies were a large part of my childhood. The beginning of the 21st Century has not been so well for Walt Disney Animation. Largely overshadowed and overtaken by the awesome movies of Pixar Animation. Lately, I would say that Walt Disney Animation has been making better films over Pixar (2012 - Wreck-It Ralph vs. Brave and 2013 - Frozen & Big Hero 6 vs. Monsters University). Inside Out was a great film but The Good Dinosaur was not.  Zootopia is a great film that is up there with the pantheon of Pixar films.

The world of Zootopia predators and prey live in harmony. Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin) is a young bunny who always dreamed she could become the first bunny cop in city of Zootopia. Zootopia is a large metropolis where there are 14 different climates to support all animal types. After she sees some prey being bullied by a fox, she tries to intervene but ends up getting hurt in the process. Her parents tried to dissuade her, but she prevails and her dreams come true. Judy graduates first in her class and gets placed in the heart of Zootopia, under Chief Bogo (Idris Elba) by order of Mayor Lionheart (J.K. Simmons). During the graduation ceremony, Judy befriends Assistant Mayor Bellwether (Jenny Slate), because the “little guys” need to stick together. Chief Bogo assigns people to look for 14 missing animals throughout Zootopia, but assigns Judy to parking duty, because Bogo said he was forced to take Judy. The animals that are missing have been gone for two weeks and are all predators. Judy decides to make the most of it. As Judy is writing parking tickets, she stumbles upon a fox named, Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman), trying to buy a jumbo pop for his son inside of an ice cream store that only serves elephants. Judy decides to help out Nick and forces the elephant to serve Nick and his son. Judy is feeling confident she was helping, but later that afternoon she sees, Nick and his son melting that jumbo pop, turning those jumbo pops into individual pops, and selling the leftover sticks to a construction company. Judy is pretty heartbroken that Nick is so devious. The next day, Judy abandons her assignment to chase down a robber, Duke Weaselton (Alan Tudyk) and ends up saving the life of a tiny rodent in Little Rodentia while capturing Weaselton. While she thinks she is going to be congratulated by Bogo, he ends up almost firing Judy until Mrs. Otterton (Octavia Spencer) shows up trying to get someone to help her find her missing husband. Judy decides to take the case on, but Bogo gives her 48 hours to make some progress or else she is fired. After investing the last picture taken of Mr. Otterton, Judy notices that he is eating a pop that Nick Wilde sells, giving her a lead in the case.

Zootopia is developed very well in terms of characters and story. There is a lot of humor with it as well, with the sloths being DMV employees is one of the best, if not the best scene of the movie. The movie is paced very well with a great message too. It is really hard to have anything negative to say about this film. There is a lot of adult humor in there as well. I definitely recommend to watch this in the theater and the 3D is also really good.

THEATER.

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London Has Fallen

London Has Fallen is a quintessential 90’s action movie with a quintessential 90’s action movie plot. It’s about the President of the United States Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) attending a funeral in London for the recently deceased prime minister. Accompanying him on this trip is his closest secret service agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) to help coordinate the security side of things. The funeral is (unsurprisingly to the audience) a trap set by terrorists who plan to kidnap the president and execute him on a global live stream. After taking about 20ish minutes to set up the plot, shit starts to get real and the terrorist’s nefarious plans are put into motion. Mike tries desperately to get the president out of England, but after a failed helicopter extraction attempt which leave only Mike and the president alive, they are both end up on the run and with little rescue options left.

 The big question for all action movies, are the action scenes any good? Yes, they are fantastic in London Has Fallen and are front and center the star of the show. The action has a ton of variety, the set pieces are exciting and well framed and shot, and the quips are amusing. There are shoot outs on the streets, shoot outs during high speed pursuits, shoot outs in alleyways, action in the sky, action in the subway, there is just a ton of exciting shit happening in this movie. And, the action isn’t over-edited to hell; no shaky cam, no overabundance of cuts. Director Babak Najafi has a practical and old school sense to his style of action scenes. If there is ever a sequel to Dredd, I hope he gets to direct it. London has Fallen is what Die Hard 4 and 5 SHOULD have been like.

London Has Fallen is as good as you would hope a movie of its nature to be. It’s a great action fix. There isn’t much else to say. If you like action movies there is no reason you would not like this one. It’s not going to blow your mind, but it will sure entertain you for 2 hours.

 Theater

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Something about middle-aged white women moving away from their problems has a real way of making it into the movie theaters. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is about Kim Baker (Tina Fey), a news producer who writes news copies for on air journalist decides to take the foreign correspondent position in Afghanistan during 2003 through 2006. Kim decides to take the position after watching Tanya Vanderpoel (Margot Robbie) reporting in Afghanistan while working out at the gym. At first Baker is only suppose to be three months, but after discovering her boyfriend has been cheating on her, Baker becomes more involved with her work. Baker does a piece about how Afghanistan is a forgotten war with some of General Hollanek’s (Billy Bob Thornton) men. After the piece airs, Tanya and Kim go out partying with the rest of the foreign correspondents and ends up meeting Ian MacKelpie (Martin Freeman).  Baker befriends the upcoming Afghanistan Attorney General, Ali Massoud Sadiq (Alfred Molina), who invites her to have a meeting with a taliban warlord. After a while her news stories dry up and she is scrounging around trying to find news stories while not being phased out by her news organization.

I am going to say the first problem with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot was there needed to be more screen time for Margot Robbie. Besides that the story moves along nicely with Baker trying to find herself in Afghanistan. It is also interesting how cutthroat the world of journalism is, how any journalist would basically sell their integrity for a news story. The movie is very generic with nothing too funny and nothing too dramatic.

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Triple 9

I feel like trailers are too revealing now. This trailer for Triple 9 tells a bit too much about the movie. The movie first begins with the planning of a bank heist between Michael Atwood (Chiwetel Ejiofor), Russell Welch (Norman Reedus), and Gabe Welch (Aaron Paul). They decide they need some extra people, Gabe says he knows two guys: Marcus Belmont (Anthony Mackie) and Franco Rodriguez (Clifton Collins Jr.). After the bank heist escape has some complications, Marcus and Franco reveal themselves as dirty cops. The bank heist was for Irina Vlaslov (Kate Winslet), a Russian Jewish mafia head filling in while her husband, Vasilli is in jail. After Michael delivers the package for Irina she decides to force Michael’s crew to do another job before they get paid. Things are a bit complicated with Michael and Irina, since Michael has a son with her sister, Elena (Gal Gadot) and Irina keeping Michael’s son away from him. Chris Allen (Casey Affleck) has his first day as a police detective and is partnered up with Marcus. Chris’s uncle, Jeffrey Allen (Woody Harrelson), is a sergeant detective in major crimes working the bank heist. To complete the next job, Michael discovers he needs at least ten minutes to get in and out of the place. Marcus and Franco decide the best way to give them more time is to do a “triple 9”, which is the call sign for when a police officer is down. Marcus suggest killing Chris to give themselves that time.

Triple 9 has three very distinct action set pieces in each of the acts, with the middle action scene being the best as a team of police officers clear a set of apartments to nab a drug dealer. Each of the action scenes are set well and doesn’t have a ton of fast edits forcing you to imagine the continuation. The plot of the film is just not that interesting as it tries to show Michael doing what is necessary to see his son, Gabe knowing that Marcus will not kill a cop, and Chris slowly trying to figure out who is trying to kill him. There are a lot of subtle hints at what is going on and Jeffrey is the only character that seems to kind of know what is going on. There are so many great people in the movie, there is just not enough screen time for all of them. That is the flaw in the movie, which holds it back from being a theater movie. There is no one magnetic enough that takes over the movie.

This movie has some decent action scenes with a great cast but a fairly boring plot.

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Zoolander 2

I wish I could say this sequel is so hot right now, but alas this sequel is not hot and the world is really starting to wonder if this sequel was even needed? Fifteen years later we have, Zoolander 2. The movie starts off with the killing of Justin Bieber, who is one of six pop stars have all die but not before these pop stars post a social media post with a Blue Steel pose. Through exposition we have learned what has happened to Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller), Matilda Jeffries (Christine Taylor), Hansel (Owen Wilson), and Jacobin Mugatu (Will Ferrell). The theme of Zoolander 2 is certainly is father issues with Derek trying to do anything to get his son back and Hansel who is running away from being a father and not knowing who his father is. Both Zoolander and Hansel are invited to be apart of Don Atari (Kyle Mooney) new collection. Don Atari is a designer of Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig), who is the hottest fashion designer right now. Zoolander and Hansel are recruited by Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz), who works for Interpol’s Fashion Division to help solve the murder of the pop stars and help Zoolander find his son.

While the first movie revolves around the tension between Zoolander and Hansel as well as Zoolander and Matilda trying figure out how to stop Mugatu. This movie has you questioning why Zoolander and Hansel are so dumb, but Mugatu is the voice of reason, especially at the end of the movie. There are a lot of cameos, which is not a surprise, which are the better parts of the movie. I did wish there is a similar walk-off scene like in the first movie. One of the best things about Zoolander is how fast paced the movies are. The first movie was 90 minutes with credits, this movie is a a bit longer by 10 minutes.

If you loved Zoolander you will definitely enjoy Zoolander 2. Even if you didn’t really enjoy the first movie, you would enjoy how ridiculous the second movie is.

THEATER.

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The Witch

The Witch is a horror movie I really wanted to like. It blazes originality on every level; its stars no one famous, it’s set in the 1600’s, its dialogue is tied very tightly in the vernacular of the times (meaning it can be very hard to follow), and despite what you may think not many horror movies feature a ‘realistically’ depicted witch as a villain such as this. Despite all this originality (a characteristic I feel is missing from many mainstream horror movies), The Witch is punishingly boring. It starts off so promising with a wretch inducing and chilling opening 15 minutes, and ends with an equally chilling final 15 minutes, but those book-end sections are stuffed in the middle with so much boring dialogue and moments I feel are not exactly relevant to the urgency of being tormented by a witch. Not to say The Witch is bad, it’s not ‘bad’, it’s just disappointing. Had the pacing been ratcheted up a bit, The Witch could have been an unexpected classic.

To make the synopsis as short as possible, The Witch is about a family in the 1600’s being tormented by…you guessed it, a witch. A family consisting of a mother, a father, an older sister, a younger brother, two even younger twins, and a baby move to a farm in a pre-mature colonial America. One day as the older sister is watching and playing peek-a-boo with her baby sibling, the baby suddenly goes missing. The family believes that a wolf may have taken the baby when the older sister had her eyes closed, but the family has an underlying belief that a witch lives in the woods and stole their baby. While the family is trying to deal with the grief of a missing child, members slowly start to mentally break down and begin encountering this malevolent force in their own individual ways.

Now, let’s dig into where I thought this movie faltered. First, the actual witch character in ‘The Witch’ is only in the movie for about 5 minutes, if not less. I understand not wanting to saturate the movie with an overabundance of witch scenes, sometimes the less you see the better and scarier. However, when the witch is featured in her full glory within the first 10 minutes of the movie, the illusion of mystery is already gone. I feel like the movie misrepresented itself the first 10 minutes as a character driven horror movie (like Halloween) by showing the witch, but then abandons the witch herself and turns into a mythos driven horror movie (like Hellraiser). This brings me to my second point, the lore. There are hints in the movie of an entire sub-culture of witches existing within the world. I would have loved some exposition of why these witches are dangerous and what they do to families they target. Without that exposition The Witch feels random and pointless. Third, the dialogue, I love that this movie tried to use authentic dialogue from the 1600’s, but damn that sure makes the movie hard to follow. I guess this is more a personal problem of mine rather than any fault of the movies, but some clarity on what the characters were doing or what they were talking about would have been nice and made the movie more approachable.

All those points being said, I think The Witch is a great download. There is fantastic cinematography, atmosphere, and some solid scares; unfortunately those few good moments are hampered down by uninteresting dialogue and less interesting characters. A little more exposition would have been nice, but I have to get credit to writer/director Robert Eggers for having the balls to make the movie he wanted to make. It’s not often a slow-burn horror movie likes this gets placed in our laps. I appreciated The Witch for what it had to offer and I hope more mainstream horror movies with this level of originality are made. To paraphrase The Dark Knight; The Witch is the originality we needed, but not what we deserve.

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