hiya, i was wondering if you could give me some advice on smth?
i’m planning a story set in a high school and i have two girls that have been secretly dating for the past year and a half. both are pretty open about not being straight (ones bi and ones pan) and the pan one (we’ll call them by their sexualities for convenience) would not care if ppl knew they were dating. however, the bi one doesn’t want ppl to know bc…and that’s where i’m stuck.
a bit of context: the pan one is…a nerd and the bi one is a jock. so it’s kinda forbidden love but no one’s homophobic or anything, they just kept it on the low with the bi one always insisting that they shouldn’t tell ppl.
part of me wants to take the easy route and just put it on the bi one not wanting her image “ruined” but that feels too vain for this character, and i don’t really want that to be the reason. i think rn i have it down as “the bi one likes the exhilaration of sneaking around and no one knowing, and is also scared of change so she doesn’t want to face everyone suddenly knowing and their situation changing”. i actually kinda like that idea and i’m planning that by the end of the story, the bi one realizes she might lose her gf bc the pan one thinks that the bi one doesn’t actually like her bc she won’t be out with her and similar stuff along those lines. i wanna end their part of the story with them talking things out and then finally coming out as being together.
to sum it up, my biggest issue is finding the reason the bi one wouldn’t be out about it. i cant just have her saying “oh i don’t like change” to the pan one, that feels like a shitty excuse and way too deep to be said as many times as i’m planning on having the bi one make excuses. i don’t wanna do vanity and homophobia isn’t really smth i want to work with, but im flexible.
so yeah, can u help me figure out reasons she doesn’t want to be out? sorry if that was too much or too confusing, but thanks!
My first thought was to blame the parents. Maybe the bi girlfriend's parents don't approve, or don't want her dating in high school - you mentioned she's a jock. Could she be working towards a scholarship, and her parents fear that dating is a distraction? In that case, she doesn't want people to know in case her parents find out.
Thought two was to add a drop of backstory that complicates things. Maybe she dated someone in the past, it ended poorly, and she's afraid of what the ex might do to her current girlfriend if they found out. tl;dr, secrecy is protection. Also gives the added spicy possibility of bi girlfriend not wanting to talk about the past relationship, hence why pan gf is unaware of this history.
Thought three: bi gf could have a rep that she doesn't want to drag her girlfriend into. Is she a troublemaker? Could dating her be bad somehow for the pan gf?
Hope this helps!