I massively regret making this account a side secondary blog instead of its own account :’) i really wish tumblr had the option to switch primary blogs around :/ alas I might just have to make a new account
Also thinking about eren who is very effortlessly charismatic. When he speaks about driving all the titans out of this world, it's his own stubborn determination talking and his faith in it. He doesn't say any of what he says to influence the people around him. Yes, he has some ideological quarrels about the other cadets in his unit joining the MP but ultimately it's not about trying to bring them over to "his side". His argument is based upon his truth that you should be doing this because this is the right thing. It's his own righteousness. But at the same time, he doesn't use that for recruiting people. People are, nonetheless, swayed by it because they have an internal sense of right and wrong but that's irrelevant here. What I wanna talk about is that eren doesn't consciously and intentionally lead people. He's very pliable to listening to authority if he believes that said authority has the same goals as him and that they will help him in achieving the things that he wants.
And it's because of this, I think the yeagerists are an interesting bunch because I don't subscribe to an eren who actively recruited floch and his ilk to his cause. They simply gathered around that personality, and because they were scared and they thought eren would destroy the root of their fear (the marleyans, and by extension, the world). I think most of the recruitment was done by floch, whose enthusiasm about the plan is off the charts anyway. And eren used the advantages the following gave him to accomplish what he wanted. To me, eren is not the type to actively aid or encourage the yeagerists beyond his own agendas.
“Good-bye, old life! … Welcome, new life!”
— Anton Chekhov, The Cherry Orchard
»—–►You can read chapter 5 NOW here
Preview ➳
At the mere thought of the Armoured Titan, something strong to suppress began welling up inside her. It surged upward before she could contain it, unravelling every careful rule she’d built into herself. Her father’s laugh, Shadis’s mocking voice, the stinging word pathetic— they all brutally collided at once inside her chest. Her pulse spiked, breath catching, control slipping through her fingers like it never really belonged to her at all.
This moment will pass, her rational mind screamed at her, shaking her vigorously. Let it pass. You have to let it pass.
She should let it pass.
But her traitorous mouth opened before she could stop it, the words tearing out of her as she stepped out of line, tilted her head up, and screamed straight into the heavens.
“I’m going to kill the Armoured Titan, sir!”
TWs:
graphic nightmare imagery/body horror, PTSD symptoms, panic, grief, referenced parental death, referenced mass refugee death, military hazing, verbal abuse, religious indoctrination, and social anxiety/isolation.
"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds" — John 12:24
»—–►You can read chapter 4 NOW here
⍟ Note ⍟
This chapter opens with non-graphic child SA -- please check out all the trigger warnings below and take care of yourself if you choose to read!
Preview ➳
Pastor Nick stood a few steps away, speaking softly with a frail woman, occasionally stepping in to adjust the flow when the line got uneven or someone lingered too long.
Take. Hand. Next.
Take. Hand. Next.
Take—
Her hand stilled mid-motion.
There was a boy in front of her.
Her brain didn’t catch up all at once. It only registered the shape of his face, the way he stood, bracing even when he wasn’t moving. The familiar teal-green eyes that had once flared at her with all the fury a child could gather in their eyes—
Eren.
For a suspended second, neither of them moved.
They just stared at one another.
TWs:
Child sexual assault, non-graphic child sexual assault, inappropriate touching of a minor, religious abuse, religious trauma, grooming, manipulation by guardian, religious manipulation, religious indoctrination, bystander complicity, victim blaming, child endangerment, panic attack, trauma response, vomiting, dissociation/freezing, PTSD symptoms, nightmares, emotional abuse, forced church attendance, implied physical abuse, bruising, racism, ethnic discrimination, racial prejudice, racial/ethnic slurs, forced assimilation, cultural erasure, ethnic violence (forced haircut), classism, refugee discrimination, food insecurity, starvation, political dehumanization, forced conscription, state violence, ethnic cleansing undertones, mass death, genocidal policy implications, canon-typical violence,
not normal about orpheus and eurydice. you loved someone so much it opened the stones of the underworld. so much that death had to listen. so much that everything stopped for your love. so much that you turned around. so much that even when you did wrong. she forgave you.
on snk’s gender norms: p1- eremika gender dynamics & their cabin
[here’s p2, on misogyny within the walls. ]
masculine vs feminine duties:
within the context of the story, masculine duties are protection and provision (essentially “service”):
we see carla admonish eren for acting recklessly and failing those duties since his actions caused mikasa, a girl, to protect him / endanger herself to help him. (although the latter could just be for eren skimping on his chores, im gonna go w the interpretation that fits my agenda🤷🏾♀️).
leading on from that sentiment, there’s the idea that men are “responsible for women”. parts of erejean’s (and all of eremin’s) fights are about chivalry, on behalf of a woman, i.e. about eren not being “worthy” of mikasa since he doesn’t take care of her properly (even hurts her at points) and jean’s jealousy that someone like that has her attention when he doesn’t appreciate it:
couple of things here:
the underlying message to eren is certainly “consider how your actions affect others”, but it also comes within the assumption that it is up to eren to ensure mikasa is safe, with the subtext of “since it’s his masculine duty”. carla and jean don’t consider the fact that it is mikasa’s choice to be involved, eren is not forcing mikasa to fight for him or “dragging her” into the survey corp, actually he’s telling her not to do that! so although it is true that mikasa wouldn’t fight unless it is to protect eren, it is still her choice to get involved. eren’s failure to be protect mikasa and responsible is immaturity, him not adhering to his gender norm.
armin (and jean at times) certainly fight over mikasa’s honour. armin only tries to assert physical domination over eren (a very masculine way of fighting) to punish him in defence of a vulnerable woman, anything else he’d rather talk through even if eren probably did deserve to be punched for everything else he’s done (the scheming, liberio, the port, running away, the jaegerists and undermining hansi’s position, sasha, the wine, or the literal omnicide happening etc). it’s again this is contrasted to armin’s introduction where he placed himself above physical fighting to assert his philosophical domination over others.
also, with regards to jean being protective over mikasa, a man protecting a woman is immediately emphasised as romantically charged, it is specifically franz telling hannah he will protect her, not a mutual promise to watch eo’s back:
“husbandly duty” = protect your wife, mikasa is masculinised since she has a very fierce desire to protect and defend eren, she is the one who promises him protection (as opposed to asking to be protected), taking on franz’s role. she wants to use her skill and strength to protect eren, even talking back to her superior and downplays her skill specifically so she could do so (despite like…armin being the weakest of the trio, and equally important to her for example, it is eren who she particularly seeks out). the romantic angle of protection is imo important to understanding eremika’s dynamic, there’s the idea of your romantic partner being the Most Important Person Ever and devoting yourself to them.
furthermore, men are providers! mikasa’s father physically catches food, whilst grisha is the breadwinner.
so little recap: a man’s duty is to protect his woman or family, to be responsible for them via provision but also “leading them” (ex away from trouble). we also have “big brother reiner” occupying a very masculine role where he’s the embodiment of a responsible and morally good protector.
so what about women then?
feminine duties, aside from women occupying the role as the “protected” and “provided for” gender, include being selfless, lovable and dependable:
the practically unanimous reaction to “krista” is to call her a goddess, and this is regardless of gender because krista is the absolute pinnacle of femininity. she embodies all the qualities of an “ideal woman” and hence “need to wife her up” reaction from men. remember that krista caters herself to others’ needs, she tries her best to be a caretaker. you see this with mikasa, in universe she jokes about raising armin in recognition of the fact that she is a “mini mother” to eremin despite being the SAME AGE as them. she is aligned with carla in thinking that lives are more important that dreams, she protects them, comforts them, acts selflessly for them and even disciplines them when needed. aside from the subtext, isayama outright states eren even considered mikasa a mother figure:
For Eren, rather than a lover, Mikasa’s presence is more like a mother to him. The love towards a mother is considered valuable [precious], however at the same time, there are annoying parts as well [laugh]. Just like towards one’s actual mother, Eren will start to grow up when he becomes independent [move away/not dependent on] from Mikasa, I might draw this scene one day.
although annie is very obviously mocking gender roles, but her comments tell us about the cultural norms, girls are less physical. men are supposed to treat women gently / differently compared to other men -> men supposed to go easy on them since women are more “delicate” (thus jearmin fighting on mikasa’s behalf) and we also see that gabi takes advantage of this very stereotype, she strips to make it clear that she is a girl and wins the battle by pretending to be helpless.
also, men are supposed to speak to women softly. and because eren doesn’t, he simply treats annie as a strong opponent and calls out her bs, he needs to learn how to talk to girls (=how to be a man). again, he’s too blunt and cruel to mikasa, which is unforgivable.
she justifies her fears by citing that she is a “feeble maiden”-> supposedly girls are more fearful / conflict avoidant.
historia being of “lower class” means that she is prone to being sexually open, which is apparently unladylike, presumably paradis has the “sex is only permitted within a marriage” cultural norm too. you also see that characters like alma (historia’s mum who was a reiss family maid) and kuchel (levi’s mum) are lower class AND sex workers.
there is this immediate association with girls, marriage and future children. this is the only scene we get with the ackerman family and it’s intentionally super domestic and has explicit references to both tradition and mikasa’s femininity. mikasa shows her pain and she is allowed to be comforted by her mother (vs eren who in the first chapter refuses to let his father check him out for crying in his sleep). she is naive, innocent and curious, a vulnerable little girl just as faye was. kruger’s similarly charts how how the jaeger siblings could have lived their lives, he associates faye with domesticity, she lost the chance to marry and have children whilst grisha is associated with inheriting work (masculine provision). also, there’s this element that it was grisha’s fault for how things ended up, it is his responsibility to protect faye as her older brother and guide her which he failed to do.
again, here’s a mini-recap: women are maternal, they are selfless, kind and dependable. men fight on behalf of them, for their honour, bc they are loveable (and vulnerable/delicate), they are associated with domesticity and children and the ideal woman is modest and loyal.
how eremika fit their gender norms:
people can comfortably argue about eremika’s untraditionalist romance, after all, isayama designed them to be subversive.
It is quite generic that a heroine is usually a woman who motivates a man. However, I don't really like that way of thinking. There was a time when my head actually filled up with the idea of Mikasa turning that kind of character development around. That is the reason that she became a strong woman who excels in combat. In reality, there are differences between the skeletal structure and muscle count of men & women which cause the difference in their potential strengths.
throughout s1-3, it is eren who is often the damsel in need of rescue and mikasa who is his strong, responsible protector. it is who is the dreamer, he is weaker, more emotional, whilst mikasa is pragmatist, selflessly devoted to him, physically talented, the ideal solider and stoic. however, imo there is a intentional traditional undertone to their relationship that’s pretty interesting to examine by itself! for example, there is already the element that rather than mikasa being the “man” she is the “mother”.
but also eren and mikasa’s first meeting is technically eren meeting the masculine standard, not only does he physically kill two of her attackers, he inspires her to fight back and then he gives her warmth and a home to live in. mikasa without her family doesn’t intrinsically have a will to live in a world so cruel, it is only through eren’s kindness that she developed her own desire to live dependent on his kindness / the memory of it.
scarf scene 2 also reinforces this idea, mikasa is super feminine (hurt, in need of protection, blushy, emotive, seeking physical affection) whilst eren is protective and re-declares that he will provide for her forever.
eremika is STILL untraditional in that eren and mikasa both take turns being the protected and protector, but there is also a “confirmed” grounding in traditionalist relationships, particularly where both partners adhere to their gender norms. the scarf itself is a promise of protection and provision.
gender presentation in the cabin:
in contrast to s1, mikasa is no longer the same height and build as eren, eren is noticeably taller and broader than her, better fitting the masculine standard. again very obviously, mikasa isn’t in the scouts uniform that denotes her equal to eren as a solider but in overtly feminine clothing, pink, eren’s scarf and a long skirt that marks her “different” from eren.
mikasa also grows her hair out whilst eren cuts his, they resemble their s1 selves but more “correcter”, in terms of fitting their gender.
also she has the hair eren picked for her!
cabin dynamics:
within the cabin, mikasa does get the “girl treatment” that annie is alluding to (and basically the treatment she’s been giving eren this whole manga and what carla, jean and armin continually fight for her to have) since she is being taken care of, she is being prioritised above all.
eren is protecting her (he pulls her away from conflict and into safety forsaking his duties to mankind to protect her when she asks):
…and, providing for her (the scene plays out like it’s eren who was catching their food by himself, then came across mikasa sleeping and woke her up):
like mikasa’s father, grisha and the stereotype of a “man”, eren is the provider, he is the one who catches their food and engages in very manly axe swinging. he is incredibly responsible and gentler with her, the whole thing is domestic and romantic, man and a woman choosing each other and being a family together.
in contrast to eren, mikasa isn’t shown to be doing any physical work. much like how grisha sits aside whilst carla washes dishes or cooks food (“feminine chores”), she sits aside and watches whilst eren is doing masculine chores. again this is contrasted to before, where mikasa was being the “man” by providing firewood and eren the “woman“ via the cleaning:
[note: we only have a little glimpse of their cabin life and it could very well be that this is eren’s shift for chores after mikasa did hers, but remember this is a story, what is shown is done intentionally to portray a certain idea. although it is a glimpse, it is a glimpse isayama CHOSE to show anything else is headcanon.]
mikasa also fits the other ladylike traits frieda lists (selfless, kind, dependable, loveable, modest) but imho genderising traits is foolish since eren, levi any other uber male and masculine character can also technically fit those traits some point in the story, just like in real life how characteristics aren’t limited to gender. boys can be kind, girls can be strong etc. within the context of the story again though, ymir is supposed to be freed through mikasa and i think listing her supposed qualities is done intentionally to show how similar they are, it is also distinctly feminine roles too. furthermore, there’s this idea that after the titan curse ended, mikasa “returns” back into an ordinary (“conventionally feminine”), unathletic girl, just as ymir was once an ordinary girl without hallu-chan.
traditional women are expected to defer to their husband, aka be submissive or subservient to him, ymir’s unconditional obedience of fritz is that trait taken to its most extreme. but we've sorta seen this thing before, when grisha speaks up carla quietens mid-sentence although she doesn't agree with indulging eren / rewarding his curiosity by showing him the basement, she only tells eren privately only after seeing her husband off with a smile.
however, mikasa isn’t wholly “deferential” to eren the way ymir is since she prioritises her feelings over his, she sticks close to him since it’s what she wants, not what her perception of eren’s wants are (she knows that he doesn’t want her joining the scouts, taking care of him, jumping to protect him for example). then she knows he doesn’t approve of her keeping the scarf, yet she doesn’t give up the scarf because she wanted to keep it. and very obviously, he wants to continue to rumble the world and she put a stop to it by untraditionally killing him*. she kept him in her heart, but she lived a long life without him. mikasa is described as prideful for a reason!
*there's also the interpretation since eren wanted to die, mikasa was simply deferring to his wishes, as suggested by yui ishikawa (mikasa’s VA):
how you read her choice determines your take on the traditional, normative elements. in terms of how snk defines traditional masculinity and femininity, i wouldn’t say mikasa acts in line with either in the end and that “untradition” is interesting, she acts selflessly, she doesn’t protect eren, she acts violently, she acts benevolently, she takes responsibility, she kills her family etc, it’s both and none. imo i like the idea that mikasa defied eren, that she refused to let her love dictate her morality and killed him despite his wishes to rumble 100%. that sort of bravery and individuality is something i like more since this applies to anyone. it’s probably never going to be the level of omnicide but you shouldn't ever stand by and enable abusive/wrong behaviours out of love and loyalty. blind devotion that erases individuality and encourages you to stand by and let your self or others be harmed is wrong and you should fight against it.
I’ve been working on the cadet training arc for what feels like 5ever (tech since around Jan 2026) and holy shit yall….
cadet training arc is massively bloated rn (im estimating final count of 100+k words so far in my outline…) but i swear its so important for situating Maria’s interpersonal relationships with everyone and more lore dropping so it’s needed 🥲
I think that’s one of my biggest gripe with stories is that I need to be convinced of the oc/reader’s feelings and relationships esp if there’s stakes attached to them. And I’m also talking about characters outside of Eren even tho Eren x f!OC is the main ship
I just hope others will find her dynamic with the cast just as interesting cuz I do worry readers are only here for the romance but when I say slow burn BOI do I mean slow burn YALL! Just hope readers won’t lose interest and will stay along for the ride 🙂↕️
"Under ancient cypress trees, weeping dreams are harvested from sleep." — Georg Trakl
»—–►You can read chapter 3 NOW here
Preview ➳
Maria wanted to scream. She wanted to spit out every beautiful lie they were trying to wrap around a massacre and call it dignity. Her father didn’t die heroically. He had died in the mud and blood in Shiganshina, in a place she would never be able to forget, and all that remained of him in her memory, slowly tainting how she remembered him, was a severed hand.
As names continued to be read, the rhythmic utterings were interrupted by the sound of footsteps.
At first, it was faint and easy to miss beneath the murmur of the crowd and the priest’s prayers, but then more joined it. A faint disturbance moved through the gathered mourners as people turned toward the road leading in from the gate.
The Survey Corps arrived.
TWs:
TW: Child neglect, child abuse (physical), manipulation, psychological abuse, religious pressure and indoctrination, racial microaggressions, parental loss, sick child, mentions of mass death and mass child death, panic attacks, survivor's guilt, intense grief, traumatic loss, nightmares, PTSD, emotional numbness, dissociation, graphic injury descriptions/mentions of dismemberment.
"Prophet girl,
chosen by the sun,
do you hear the gods whispering
those silent stardust words?
Cursed daughter,
uttering insanities no one believes,
do you regret taking the vow?"
Sometimes I regret making this account a side blog to my main blog instead of its own blog cuz now if I follow someone and they follow me back idk whose account it’s going thru :’), and I fear I’ve already devoted too much into this blog to start over from scratch :/
I love having a roommate cuz that means I can try out all wild fanfiction ideas on her and see if they actually make sense.
Like chapter 9 has a dance scene based on an original dance that fuses Lebanese dabke, traditional Romani dances from Manouche Sinti of France, and slight inspiration women’s fancy shawl dance (an Indigenous dance from Turtle Island/ colonial North America).
Anyways I’ve been making her dance with me in the kitchen and it’s acc sooo helpful. This is why I can’t live alone lol.
andulkaphoto
kianamaiart
izzy806
vaporwave
dailybridgerton
germansingergirl
