Tom Felton's Glabella

Requests are OPEN! Follow or my father will hear about this.

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

Be myself? What kind of garbage advice is that?

Draco Malfoy, at some point (probably).

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

*Phone rings*

Draco: Hello?

Killer: I see you.

Draco: ...

Draco: Do I look good?

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal ‘usted.’

Draco Malfoy, at some point (probably)

[dracomalfoythekingofslytherin]

Aw:(

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

Hermione: What's your favorite class?

Draco: Upper.

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

Book Draco: *Is an asshole*

Movie Draco: *Is an asshole*

Normal Person: What an asshole...

Me: *Is personally offended*

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

You're my family and I love you, but you're terrible. You're all terrible.

Draco Malfoy, at some point (probably).

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

Draco: Blaise, I think you should play the role of my father.

Blaise: I don't want to be your father.

Draco: Great, you already know the lines.

[fandomsruinourlives]

Albus 'I Don't Play Favorites But Gryffindor Is My Favorite So I'll Say They Won The House Cup' Dumbledore

[ewanfuckingmcgregor]

‘the best of me still lives in you. knock knock with the knowledge that yes, you are my son but you are not my choices’ 

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

How was I supposed to know there would be consequences for my actions?

Draco Malfoy, at some point (probably).

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

Snape: Rules were made to be followed. Nothing was made to be broken.

Blaise: uh, piñatas?

Pansy: Glowsticks?

Crabbe: Karate boards.

Goyle: Spaghetti, when you have a small pot.

Draco: And rules.

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT

Heathers the Musical: Hogwarts Edition

Starring:

Millicent Bullstrode as Heather M.

Pansy Parkinson as Heather D.

Hermione Granger as Veronica Sawyer

Ron Weasley as J.D.

Crabbe and Goyle as Kurt and Ram

and Draco Malfoy as Heather Chandler

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw...

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

Introducing Draco to Social Media Would Include:

“Face… book?”

“Tumblr? Isn’t there supposed to be an ‘e’ in there somewhere? I don’t trust it.”

“Who is Instagram and why does she sound so tacky?”

His favorite filter on Snapchat is the dog filter because he’s just that white.

His story is 200 snaps long and all about Potter.

“Tweeter?”

Whenever he gets a notification from Twitter and the phone makes that bird sound, he screams like a little girl.

“Whats the point of making a video if it’s only six seconds long? I can’t even finish my sentence in six seconds.”

“Besides, why have eight different social media accounts that do the same thing? You can post short videos of yourself on Vine, Insta-whatever and Snapchat… Why are Muggles so redundant?”

BUT YOUTUBE THO

He loves Dan and Phil, obvi

You find him two weeks later in the bedroom singing ‘I’m a Barbie Girl’ in front of a camera without a shirt on.

“Uh… Draco… What are you doing?”

“I WAS MAKING A VIDEO FOR THE YOUTUBE! LOOK AWAY!”

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

WHY DOES THIS HAVE OVER 3,000 NOTES?! I’M WHEEZING GUYS OMFG

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

I absolutely love your icon. Where did you get it? :D

Aww thanks, sweetie! TBH, I just Googled ‘Draco Malfoy Icons’ and it was one of the first few that came up :)

[dracosleftbumcheek394-blog]

No but imagine the Malfoy’s reaction when you come into their house and insist on doing things yourself...

For instance, you wave away the house elves and take your own plate into the kitchen, or you (heaven forbid) clean up after yourself and Lucius is just like, “You don’t have to do that. The house elves are here for a reason.” But you’re just like

[ramblinroseculper]

REBLOG IF YOU ARE A SLYTHERIN, SUPPORT SLYTHERINS, OR ARE A GIANT SNAKE THAT KILLS PEOPLE BY MAKING EYE CONTACT