it's me, maddy

i try not to take myself too seriously

[mjalti]

why come they called him “beast” in the castle when everyone knew his name cuz they’d been working for him forever anyway? like …. i would just be like “hey chewbacca-Adam” or some shit, there’s no reason to call him beast … id hide in my room all day too if my employees started making fun of me..

[teaboot]

If my manager decided to pull some rude ass shit with a witch and got me living the next ten years of my life as an immortal singing toaster oven you can bet your ass I’d wake him up every goddamn morning with a flaming panini directly to the face. rise and shine, you ugly fuck, time hear a song

[teaboot]

I call this one, “ode to an inconsiderate pissbaby” and the first 9 verses are just me screaming at various decibels

[lilcontinent-deactivated2015070]

[foulserpent]

whys king kong………..so fucking large

[brightereyes]

the bigger you are the larger you are

[foulserpent]

[charleydriftwood]

Projected Timeline of Global Warming

2030: The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

2100: The water’s getting warm, so we might as well swim

2250: My world’s on fire

[avatarstateyipyip]

3000: Not much has changed but we live under water

[nomadic-tash27]

i wonder if there’s a correlation between your Hogwarts house and which side you chose for civil war so reblog this and add your house and side in the tags

[multi-purpose-tool-guy]

today at work a customer’s card didn’t go through so I asked them to try again and it worked that time and I mixed up saying “there we go” and “there it goes” and I ended up saying “there we goes" and I just

[paganprincesss]

why is this so funny i almost pissed myself laughing for the better part of 5 minutes

[boletus-edulis]

Okay guys here’s my everyday makeup tutorial as per popular request

[hatondiscat-deactivated20181203]

Performance art

[rarestandfairest-deactivated201]

I remember when I found out other people chop off the tops of strawberries. I was getting stoned with a bunch of older kids and popped a whole strawberry, top and all, in my mouth. And everyone started laughing and ragging on me for being so high i ate the whole strawberry and I just had to go with it and pretend like I hadn’t eaten every single strawberry of my life like that

[manrippedapartbydogs]

Jesus is back, And he's not Crucifuckin' around: The Bible 2

[plantfunerals]

oh so you like metal? name 3 blacksmiths

[combatboredom-deactivated201804]

Will, Jaden and Willow. 

[plangblrr]

[bloomflowersbloom]

[traumahospital-blog]

[tag-urselfz]

tag urself I’m Flavor Town

[flowerbrain]

[fuclcing-remade-deactivated2019]

tag which knife you are

[tevruden]