rasa yang tak tersampaikan untukmu...

iya, kamu. // let's be friends

[draftrasa]

1 Maret 2020

Februari, sampai jumpa lagi

terima kasih atas proses pendewasaan ini

terima kasih atas luka yang berhasil dilalui

terima kasih sudah kuat sampai saat ini

Maret, selamat datang

semoga menyenangkan

tidak peduli seberapa buruk bulan-bulan yang telah berlalu, tak apa

mari kita mulai lagi kali ini

selamat berproses menemukan jati diri

Semoga Maret berbaik hati

[draftrasa]

29 Februari 2020

di akhir bulan februari ini,

semuanya harus berakhir.

ku doakan yang terbaik,

bagimu,

dan bagiku.

semoga nantinya kita bisa kembali menjalani hidup,

selayaknya dulu,

saat kita belum bertemu.

[draftrasa]

7 Januari 2018

malam ini

di hari ketujuh bulan januari

aku kembali merindukanmu yang telah pergi

bersama berjuta mimpi

dan harapan yang tak akan kembali

semua memang kusesali

tapi ada yang harus kamu ketahui

aku akan selalu disini

sampai kamu kembali

meskipun itu tidak akan pernah terjadi

[duatigadesember]

Dalam hidup, terkadang kita harus dipaksa untuk merelakan. Bahkan terhadap sesuatu yang sejatinya belum sempat kita miliki.

[draftrasa]

hanya sebatas hampir memiliki.

[draftrasa]

“Saat aku butuh cintamu, kau berlalu dariku.”

— bagaimana bisa aku melupakanmu?

[nstzlkrn]

aku selalu percaya, suatu saat akan tiba masanya ketika aku merasa bahagia melihat seseorang yang pernah membuatku bahagia sedang berbahagia.

[draftrasa]

selalu.

[mbeeer]

Tidak. Kita tidak berpisah. Aku yang mempertahankanmu mati-matian, sedangkan kau yang mencoba melepaskan dengan berbagai alasan. Jangan tanya kenapa kita sekarang seperti ini. Tanyalah kenapa saat itu hanya aku saja yang berjuang.

(via mbeeer)

[mbeeer]

Aku pernah setia, pernah percaya, pernah mengizinkan, pernah mencoba untuk tak curiga, pernah juga mengerti mungkin kau bosan dan ingin sekedar bermain dengan yang lain. Tapi, brengseknya, itu adalah cara yang kau pakai untuk pelan-pelan menyingkirkanku.

(via mbeeer)

[draftrasa]

Aku, menjadi seseorang yang sempat hampir memilikimu saja sudah bersyukur

— apalagi bisa menjadi seseorang yang bisa memilikimu

[mbeeer]

Kita pernah sama-sama jatuh cinta, sama-sama mengetahui bahwa kita saling memiliki rasa yang sama. Namun pada akhirnya sekeras apapun mencoba semuanya tetap sama; hilang begitu saja.

(via mbeeer)

[inkskinned]

1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting. 2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister. 3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting,see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit. 4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry. 5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k. 6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids. 7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.

My father’s recipe for the man I should marry (part ½ of a series). /// r.i.d  (via inkskinned)

[draftrasa]

“Maaf, dulu perasaan itu memang ada tapi sekarang sudah tidak ada lagi yang tersisa.”

“Secepat itukah?”

“Itulah manusia.”

[draftrasa]

“Mengapa masih ada aku jika pada akhirnya kamu masih memilih dia?

— karena aku hanyalah cadangan bagimu.

[draftrasa]

Kalau nyatanya sudah ada dirinya di dalam hatimu, mengapa kamu masih menghadirkan sosok diriku dalam kehidupanmu?

[draftrasa]

hati-hati dengan hati.

[draftrasa]

“aku masih sayang kamu.”

— empat kata beribu makna

[pengaggumkamu]

Akhirnya, apa yang kamu perjuangkan dan apa yang kamu abaikan sama-sama pergi meninggalkanmu perlahan.

[draftrasa]

semua akan pergi pada waktunya.