Attention, citizens of the Eggpire, father has some very important news for you
We recommend you listen
IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! TODAY IS THE EGGPIRE'S 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! THATS RIGHT 1 YEAR AGO TODAY I MADE THIS BLOG AND ITS GROWN SO BIG!!
AND I SAID "WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!" SO WE'RE DOING AN ANNIVERSARY EVENT ON TUMBLR DOT COM! ALL OF TUMBLR! YOU ARENT READY FOR THIS! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN OVER, BY GUESS WHAT? SAGE? METAL? RELEASE THE VIRUS!!
THAT'S RIGHT! STEEL SHEEN! ALL MACHINE! NO FLESH! LOOK AT THAT! THE METAL VIRUS IS BACK!
EXCEPT WE DIDNT STOP THERE, WE HAD TO DO MORE! WE'VE REDECORATED THE BLOG!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT MAMA!? WE'VE GOT A NEW LOOK!
YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED TO REBLOG THIS! NOW GO PING YOUR FRIENDS AND ROBOTICIZE THEM WITH THE VIRUS!
@mamarobotnikoffical @ametalsonic @themetallicoverlord @sagerobotnik @that-one-fuckass-stone-image @gaster-wd @theultimateshadow @twilight-princess-link-official @ang3l-ocean @totallynotmimic1-m2 @orbot-and-cubot @tailsbot98761 @ilovefruitymen @trans-girl-weird @illuminating-dawn @hekate-offical @deciduousfuckhead @evil-bread-offical @eeeevilwizardwhomstdoesthings @silliest-friendliest-clown @kitsunamiiii @peepawsonic @adjdhsue @pineato1 @ireland-offical @jeff-the-evil-wizard @raddest-highway @dutifullynervouscloud @cats-are-gods @hdeahd @do-not-you-dare @ink-sans0fficial @doodlethehedgie @some-kind-of-horrid-gremlin @nameless-vessel @gizmo9133 @silly0dd-creature @sans-the-skeleconch @percyjacksonenthusiast @optimus-prime-offical and EVERYONE ELSE I DIDNT MENTION, BY THE DEVIL FROM THE BIBLE THERE’S A LOT OF YOU!!! Thank you for following this dumb little blog of mine i made at a whim, it means the world to me!
And special shoutouts to the first 10 followers of the Eggpire: @xhais @crowsarttrove @myparkispleasant @not-the-bees-again @helpmemiku @stormcloud3 @that1guy2 @sirpladtheregretful @nerdwholikesnerdythings and @odysseusandorpheus
I may not be the best at remembering names, especially with how many of you there are, but i'll never forget how grateful I am that this silly little blog I made on a whim has brought a little something into your lives! Thank you so much for being here!
Honestly my whole journey here so far has reminded me of one Technoblade quote, i wont share the whole quote since its a long one about Skyblock but i will share what's stuck with me and i think should stick with all of you:
"No matter how ridiculous the odds may seem, within us resides the power to overcome these challenges and achieve something beautiful. That one day, we'll look back at where we started and be amazed by how far we've come."
I hope you all continue to live your lives as the proudest you that you can be!
And remember! If some random girl on the internet can get 200+ people to smile because she's passionate about who she is then there's no doubt in my mind you can make someone smile the same way too!
Tagging all the fabmouse people I know @autistobrat @lokijiro @darling-deceased-female @moriartea221 @morethanextraordinary @moroniccats @whenyoulikeandwhereyoulike @do--not--you-dare @lestradelurkshere @identitycroissant-tm @mischievous-archeologist @lonidraper AND EVERYONE ELSE!! I've searched Halloween like 20 times yesterday and 20 times today and I plan to do it some more! (This'll be the most fabmouse international prank ever!!!)
obviously we know in our hearts that Jabba the Hutt is not a dragon. that’s ridiculous.
But Is Jabba A Dragon Though?
he has the body plan of a lindworm. I suppose you could argue that he is too thick to be considered “serpentine”, but he is longer than he is wide, and not entirely unlike an especially chunky gaboon viper. his upright posture distracts from the fact that he’s built like an abbreviated mole lizard, which are lindworms.
and then of course he acts like a dragon. I don’t know if Star Wars uses gold or something else but whatever it is I’m sure he hordes it. eats people sometimes. disturbing taste for princesses. knights come to kick his ass.
Ah, but he uses a hoversled, which is much like flying:
And not all creatures under the broad category of “dragon” fly. Lindworms don’t fly, neither do wyrms, drakes, sea serpents, or hydras. Lungs/Chinese dragons can fly but they don’t use wings to do it. Jabba should not be disqualified as a dragon simply because he uses repulsor technology to achieve airborne locomotion.
Jabba is unlike a slug in so many ways. He has jointed limbs, a hard internal skeleton, a skull with fixed spherical eyeballs, and no sensory tentacles or pneumostome. He is capable of facultative parthenogenesis--like komodo dragons and other squamates--continuously growing larger and living for hundreds of years hoarding wealth and power and preying on princesses. His resemblance to a slug is superficial, though we may describe him as such in an insulting fashion... like how a dragon may be called a “worm”.
Also he can and does eat people.
Jabba the Hutt is a dragon and I have convinced myself of this.
The dragons from both The Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey and The Pit Dragon Trilogy by Jane Yolen are aliens from extraterrestrial planets called Pern and Austar IV, respectively.
I think you will find that Hutts lack a backbone, commonly known as a spine, which, for the most part, dragons have either litterially or figuratively.
Jabba’s motions, limbs, and posture are clearly dependent upon the use of a hard interior support system. Lacking an exoskeleton and being unable to simply squelch out of Leia’s chokehold suggests he is not simply moving around via the hydrolics of a muscular hydrostat. Besides, there’s this art from the making of The Phantom Menace:
“Dragon” is like “worm”, in my opinion. It’s not a taxonomy because the variety of creatures referred to as “worms” don’t even belong to related phylums. A horsehair worm and a nightcrawler are not related but they share an innate “worminess”. A velvet worm has many legs and is still counted as a worm-thing. Like I’ve said before, “worm” isn’t a taxonomy; it’s a lifestyle.
Dragons are the same way. It’s an umbrella term, and while some irritating pedants insist that only a four-legged creature with words god can be considered a dragon, they only say that to make sure everyone in the room knows that they know what a wyvern is. Wyverns and lindworms and amphitheres are obviously all under the dragon umbrella.
If these things are dragons, then “dragon” is as fluid a category as “worm”:
Jabba has more stereotypical “dragon traits” than some dragons do. He doesn’t hit every point, but a dragon is a worm is a dragon is a worm.
My general position is that the use of the word "dragon" to encompass all these disparate creatures is a bad thing and a relic of eurocentric colonialism. A Chinese Long is not the same thing as an English Dragon, nor is a wyvern or an amphithere, and calling them "dragons" belies the cultural differences in which these disparate creatures arose.
In terms of narrative purpose and lifestyle, Janba fills the role that a Dragon does in many stories, however. I would argue Jabba is a dragon in the same sense that a Tsuchigumo is.
I think enforcing a strict cultural differentiation would eliminate most dragons from fiction. Fiction, which supplies most modern dragons, does not stick to a strict historical consistency in dragon-depiction, either visually or behaviorally.
Take, for example, the dragons from The Last Airbender. They’re clearly dragons, as they breathe fire and have wings, but they’re also more like elemental spirits that visually and behaviorally resemble lungs more than they resemble, say, Smaug. Do their similarities to lungs disqualify them from dragonhood?
Also, it’s not like the medieval Welsh concept of a “dragon” evolved in a vacuum. There are mythical creatures from around the world that bear strong resemblances to That Specific Creature Which We Are Apparently Now Inisisting Is The Only True Dragon. Welsh and British folklore was surely being influenced by mythology from disparate cultures.
I am firmly against declaring wyverns “not dragons” because even in British cultural history, the distinction only arose out of the technicalities of heraldry, not folklore or even art.
The only thing that Jabba lacks in terms of dragon qualifications: the innately obvious “dragony-ness” that makes most people take one look and go “oh yeah that’s a dragon”. But i don’t think that that’s a REQUIREMENT of dragon-hood. Like, what the fuck is that thing down there?
That thing does not have innate dragony-ness to me. It looks like a turtle with tentacles.
But, while I think the answer to “can we consider Jabba the Hutt to be a dragon” is yes, no one has asked whether or not Jabba would consider himself to be a dragon.
there’s a whole list on wookiepedia of dragons in star wars and it turns out there’s a bunch of creatures that have “dragon” in their name and they all have quite a lot of dragony-ness but also none of them seem to reach anything beyond semi-sentience. So maybe Jabba has enough dragon-y qualities to be considered a dragon, but he himself would be insulted if you called him one.
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