Draconic Ramblings

The collected thoughts* of a 32 year old Maltese Zimbo living on in Scotland. (*terms may be used loosely**) (**VERY loosely)

[ellohcee]

The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"

And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down

Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!

[ellohcee]

[kawuli]

[orisnitsa]

[thetragicallynerdy]

[ID: the Bugs Bunny in a tux meme, edited to say “I wish all LGBT+ folk who live in countries where pride is banned, illegal, or unwelcomed a very I love you, stay safe, Happy Pride (red, orange, yellow, green, blue heart emoji). The edited text is in all caps, with LGBT+ in rainbow lettering. End ID.]

[shutyourmoustache]

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

[party-gilmore]

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[shubbabang]

[dark-wizard-guy-fieri]

context (via @mellorocket)

[chimthecappy]

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

[artistefish]

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

[aqueerkettleofish]

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.

"So, boss... I may have messed up."

"What did you do, Ray?"

"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"

"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."

"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."

"Oh."

"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."

"Get the others."

[shu-of-the-wind]

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

[anna-neko]

and important addition

Source: instagram

[tomfoolerytotality]

Looking back on 2020, I think it's hilarious that Wellerman of all shanties is the one that blew up online. It's not a song about life on the high seas or adventuring

It's the "Where the fuck is my delivery" song

[stevishabitat]

[what-even-is-thiss]

I wonder if people in the fallout universe are still using 200 year old tampons or if some crazy chemist named fuckass atomic Becky or whatever has figured out how to mass manufacture them

[dragon-saint]

The Serious Lore Answer ™️ is that wastelanders have probably had to go back to pads/tampons made of whatever textiles they have (apparently wool, silk, and forms of paper are historical) or maybe switched to direct plant based alternatives, but Vault dwellers probably have access to pre-War options since we know the Vaults have facilities to produce clothing and other textiles so theirs are probably fully cotton though as with all Fallout tech it's a coin-flip whether it's low-scifi futuristic stuff or 1950's frozen anachro-tech.

[thebibliosphere]

Every so often I catch a glimpse of the book drama going on over on the Insta/Threads sphere of the Internet, and it makes me so glad I’m considered too Tumblrina to sit at their tables.

What do you mean an author is railing against people using libraries/the Libby app because it’s “free” (it’s not. you as the author get money from the library purchasing the digital lending license) and meanwhile their book is on Amazon for free to try and get readers??? Hello????

[thebibliosphere]

“But if people read it for free they might like it want to buy the rest of my work!”

You mean like how people read books at libraries, and end up buying them if they like them?

“That’s not the same 😡”

Correct! Because again, libraries pay us. You putting your books up on Amazon for free means you get nothing.

[tlirsgender]

Do you think it's like a rite of passage for every new generation of xmen to momentarily feel like it's kind of fucked up to be trying to kick the shit out of a senior citizen until magneto crumples someone into a cube like a trash compactor in front of them and they're just like Oh Ok

[tlirsgender]

On the one hand I'm sure everyone else is very heavily emphasizing that magneto is Theee big bad of all time and so on and so forth the whole time the new ones are training but also. Like. Imagine you're the new new new mutants or whatever and somebody manages to actually knock magneto over and he stays on the ground for a second and you're kind of looking at each other like. Guys isn't he *really* old what if we just killed magneto & then the entire city starts shaking while he's getting back on his feet & you're like ohhh he's just REALLY ANGRY now. Ok :) oh that's bad :/ oh shit. Uh oh

[tlirsgender]

[ID: tags from @transguyhawkeye that read, "#having a panic attack over whether you just broke magnetos hip meanwhile he just separated wolverine into recycling and organics for the #third time this week" /end ID]

[despazito]

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter

[despazito]

good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week

[draculasstrawhat]

Huh fascinating, I wonder what the fash have against Eric Carle? I wonder what he might have said about his life, and influences, and early experiences that makes them say he’s part of an ‘insalubrious culture’?

Carle's 'Blue Horse' teaches kids to think outside the box

Franz Marc (1880-1916) was a German painter and printmaker, one of the key figures of the German Expressionist movement.

[thewinedarksea]

—a slip of the keyboard: collected non-fiction, by terry pratchett

[catsoverloaded]

Poor girl broke her favorite sitting basket.

[kitten-cab00dle]

I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen ever in my fucking life her PEETS are STICKING OUT

[teaboot]

How people get nicknames:

Recipient of a third-degree burn in front of witnesses. IE, "I won't take that shit from a man dressed like a ghostbuster"= "Gostbuster" or "Buster"

A distinctive personal feature or quirk. IE, "Have you noticed how that new guy is always eating bell peppers?" = "Peppers", or "That chick has a massive forehead" = "Forehead".

An embarrassing thing you said or did. IE, "Did you seriously call Dale "Dad"?" = "Junior", "Baby boy", "Sport"

A game of name-mutation telephone. IE, "Donny Clyde" = "Bonnie 'n' Clyde" = "Bonnie" = "Bon-bon".

Irony. IE, calling a tall person "short stack" or a particularly dour person "sunshine".

A 'wrong place wrong time' one-off incident. IE, "He spilled oil on his pants and had to borrow a pair that were way too big and Jim saw him with the waistband pulled up to his nipples and called him 'Parachute'"

A batman-style origin story but not in a cool way: "One time she hit a deer with the company car and when she called the boss to tell her she was crying so hard we thought she was dying" = "Bambi"

The incredibly rare 'admiration' nickname, bourne only once a millennia under the light of the blood moon: "We saw him lift a truck once so now we call him 'iron man'"

+ How Nicknames Stick:

Your fate is determined by The Counsel

You hate it

It's accurate

[systlin]

So. Tyr, my dog, is a Great Pyraneese. This is important because this breed is known to be smart. Not in the way a German Shepherd or border Collie is smart, and wanting to please a human; Great Pyrs are independent minded and bred to Be Management of herds when a human might not be around.

Anyway.

It has been very pleasant out. We had the windows cracked and left them cracked when we went to work. This has never been an issue before.

My darling spouse was working on a job in a small town about a mile from our place. He was getting some stuff from the work van when he sees a large white dog prancing along.

"Huh." He thinks. "That looks an awful lot like.....TYR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE."

Tyr, delighted that she has Found Father, bounds up happily and gets in the work van to give face kisses.

"GIRL NO WHAT." Kev says, scrambling to go let the client know that he has to take the fucking criminal back home real quick.

Turns out she discovered that a window can be shoved open with a determined snoot, and a window screen is not as strong as 80 pounds of muscular dog. And went for an adventure.

I got a call at this point while I was doing payroll.

"BABE WE NEED TO BABY GATE ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS." My spouse says.

"....okay??" I say, and then get the story. I swore a bunch.

Anyway my dog is a criminal escape artist and we have to baby proof the fucking windows now

[systlin]

My mom thinks this is the funniest thing ever because I, Age 11, discovered I could remove window screens to climb out my window and climb the house roof to stargaze, which nearly gave her a heart attack when she looked out a window when hearing a noise and saw her fucking child squirreling around on the roof.

"Like mother like daughter" she texted me and then about 20 laughing emojis in a row

[oneheadtoanother]

[galileoace]

Well that's fucking upsetting. Scammers think the wider population is so kneejerk anti-LGBTQ that they'll easily fall for a phishing scam.

Is that where we are now? They hostility towards queer people such a given now that you can make money off of it?

That's dire, that's upsetting.

[kyraneko]

The target of scammers is not "the wider population." It's "enough of the wider population to get us some money." It's "the naive people." It's "the thoughtless people." It's "the tech illiterate." It's "the people who can be counted upon to panic and not think things through when given a sense of urgency."

The target of scammers is no more "the wider population" than the target of a fishing net is "water."

The wider population is what they sort through.

Scammers don't think the wider population is stupid enough to not notice when they tell you there's a problem with your Visa Mastercard account, and they aren't careless enough to have not noticed themselves that that doesn't make sense. They are weeding out anybody savvy enough to avoid the scam, while catching engagement from the people who aren't.

They don't think the wider population is homophobic here. They think there are homophobes in the wider population. They think there are people who are so averse to the idea of being perceived as a supporter of gay rights that they will fall over themselves to keep a pride theme off their email headers.

They are right.

There are homophobes.

It's just that those homophobes don't have to constitute a major percentage of the wider population to make scamming them in particular worth the effort.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

My signature is worth negative 2 dollars and 82 cents.

[captaindibbzy]

[veddabredda]

@creekfiend Something you said the other day really stuck out to me visually.

[creekfiend]

omg I love it thank you!!!!