Absinthe's stalking for more doll data.
Summary: The brig is boring, but Absinthe has a few ideas.
Absinthe has been in the brig of the Nemesis for approximately 30 human hours, why does she use human measurements instead of cybertronian? Simply put she doesn’t understand them, thus she uses ‘heathen units’ as the Decepticons call them. Shockwave finds them to be illogical, so does Knockout and Ratchet but Absinthe won’t let that bother her; seeing as she isn’t a lab assistant anymore.
However, because she isn’t a lab aide and has no jobs she can do in the brig. Absinthe is increasingly discovering just how boring it is to be a hostaged individual; at this point she might just accept actual torture! Like, Starscream can zap her with his itty bitty energon branding rod like he does the Predacons at this point, and she wouldn’t complain a bit! Not a singular peep out of her, just give her some form of mental stimulation. please robo-jesus!
Her optics briefly glitched; the honey spheres shifted into hexagonal arrows as she began calculating some form of a plan to give herself some much-needed enrichment. She could see if the Vehicons guarding the brig would be up for conversation or a game of cards, but Absinthe doesn’t think Vehicons are even allowed to have cards.
Maybe she should start screaming? No, the Nemesis seems like a place used to the screams of the damned.
Singing? No, she doesn’t sing much. All she has is daisy bells in her repertoire, but she thinks it would be wasted on the denizens of the Nemesis, these classless brutes probably don’t even know what a marriage is! Then again, she doesn’t really understand it either, but at least it's in her lexicon.
A exclamation point appeared on her visor as realization strikes her processor like a bolt of lightning.
She could play with dolls! Nothing’s too obtrusive with dolls, it’s quiet, and she gets to work on her creative development! Ratchet has been encouraging her to work on creating narratives without using statistics and predictive generative programs. She still doesn’t get why using maths to make something is a bad thing, but Ratchet always said relying on predictions stunts social and cognitive development.
Absinthe would pull out her Hero-Mechs from her subspace, it was nestled in her thorax. Each of her mechs were completely unique and original; she has BumbleBuzz, Opti-mal Prax, and Hatchet.
Maybe she should make a doll of herself to complete the set?
NO! That would be so embarrassing and unoriginal, unlike her current roster that’s totally not based off her Autobot buddies. Ratchet said to be unique and creative, not use statistical data. Any resemblance is completely coincidental-
Wait a minute, How would Absinthe make a perfectly normal slice of life adventure for her Hero-Mechs to go on if she’s on the Nemesis? The Decepticon warship doesn’t exactly scream ‘sitcom potentia’ after all. Does... Does this mean she should try a completely different narrative style than she’s use too? That she needs to incorporate Bad-Bots into her play, so that the setting fits better for her current roster of dolls?
Speaking of her doll roster, she’ll need new ones if she’s going to be adding Bad-Bots to her story!
But how will she get information to create a Bad-Bot if she’s locked up in the brig? She needs data- Well, not that- but something to spark an idea. Just a personality quirk or a physical look at someone evil.
Absinthe gets another idea; reconnaissance, espionage and information gathering. She’ll just use her odd outlier ability to sneak around the Nemesis to collect reference materials! It’s such a simple idea, and nobody would even see it coming!
Absinthe’s optics once again shift into those odd hexagonal arrows; her frame begins to increase heat exponentially as she forced her outlier ability to create fresh matter from the atoms within the air. Each of the slippery-eel appendages would rapidly grow CCTV cameras for their heads.
Absinthe will admit that these creatures aren’t the most advanced, but she’s sure they’ll work fine. Now, the next step on her mighty plan is to split her consciousness between her cameras and send them out into the Nemesis for data collection. She almost wished she had a data pad and one incredibly glittery pen to record her observations, but it’ll be fine.
---
It soon became increasingly obvious that most of the Decepticons day-to-day activities were rather boring and not at all useful for Bad-Bot data collection. Well, Starscream seems to be rather consistent in throwing hissy fits and having a huge ego, but Absinthe isn’t sure if that counts as villainous or not.
Regardless, Absinthe has decided to name the doll that isn’t based off Starscream as Suncream. It's not like it's a bootleg or a stolen concept; Suncream is just an egotistical guy with hissy fits and wings. Completely original.
The second bot Absinthe had decided to follow around with her slippery cameras was Megatron, and she could immediately tell what was wrong with him. The statistics states that Megatron has a homoerotic obsession with Optimus Prime and that is a solid 60% of his issues originate. Absinthe doesn’t think her stalking was necessary to come to that conclusion, but at least it confirms that Mega-Thorn should be an absolute freak for Opti-mal Prax.
Absinthe is already generating at least 85 different prompts for Mega-Thorn and Opti-mal Prax stories; namely plots such as forced marriage, pinning, romantic homicide, and Mega-Thorn being a weak simp. Yes, only those plots make sense. No, Absinthe hasn’t ever read fanfiction. Just TVTropes and the unholy horrors that is Tumblr.
No one knows how she managed to access Tumblr but that is neither here nor there. It was a bit annoying to read the website with her parental controls, but that is a story for another day.
The third bot Absinthe had tried to observe with her camera system was Soundwave; she ended up feeling like she’s the one being watched. She didn’t like it. She decided to change targets and follow Arachnid for ten minutes, then decided the spider was a ‘B!TcH F0CkEr’ that would be in toxic yuri. Absinthe isn’t at the stage in her life to like toxic Yuri, she prefers doomed Yaoi due to how much more data she has consumed of it.
Maybe she should see if Agent Fowler could set aside some money in the Autobot budget for Yuri books? It would provide more material for Absinthe to become more indepedently creative, rather than generating from statistical data.
--- Eventually, Absinthe began to spy on the lab with her nasty little cameras. Several camera heads popped out of the vents like unholy snakes, their single optics trapped in square heads were a bit unnerving but she’s trying to be subtle!
Unfortunately, her subtle is going to give Ratchet a robot-hernia as he desperately tries to mime her away.
Absinthe doesn’t speak mime though, and she’s going to get so much ooey gooey information out of Knockout and Shockwave by observing them for any characterization potential!
Absinthe has already decided to make Sleepoff the most gorgeous mech and medic like ever, along with having an interest in big things and chaos. NO! That’s not Knockout, that’s a completely original character. Absinthe isn’t trying to color-match the medic; that’s ridiculous.
Why must his exact shade of red be a bit too dark to be cherry but much too light to be burgandy? Should Absinthe just paint her new doll with human blood? That might be easier, and she could totally talk Miko into donating for such a good cause, but Absinthe worries the shade would dry wrong.
Absinthe also wonders if she’d be able to carve an accurate head mold for Zap-Surge the completely logical, dead inside scientist. Maybe she should make his whole helm an optic? That could be smart and make Zap-Surge completely distinct from Shockwave at the same time!
“Absinthe! Take your cameras and go back to the brig, Don’t let anyone see them.” Ratchet whisper shouts at one of the many cameras currently crowding one of the lab’s vents.
“Sneaky: True. Ratchet! I got this.” Absinthe whispered back at Ratchet through a few different cameras. She truly thinks she’s smarter than she is, and it's no doubt making Ratchet crave High grade.
Maybe Absinthe should have an arc of Hatchet being an alcoholic? That could add a sufficent amount of angst and drama to her doll stories. Yes, between the drinking and the new villainy Absinthe has a perfect story idea for her dolls. She just needs to make the new dolls. Good thing, the lab has plenty of things for her to knick and repurpose! It's not like anyone was using that wrench, or those blades, or that energon crystal.
“..Why are you like this?” Ratchet sighs out exhaustedly; it seems he’s becoming aware that his scolding will not prevent Absinthe’s data collection and her growing company of dolls.










