Charizard’s Defender

Prof. Ctenis; Professor with specialty in Dragon Type Pokémon.

[dragonsprof]

Okay, where do I start?

I’ve been putting research into Pokémon and types for the past thirty three years of my life. I’ve written somewhere in the ballpark of a thousand papers, I’ve been featured in prestigious magazines dozens of times for my research, I’ve travelled the world doing talks on my theories. And none of you know me for any of that, do you? If any of you know me at all, it’s for two things- my infamous fistfight with Samuel on his radio show, or for the disgracery articles that I’ve been fighting since.

I’ll be blunt as I can. Types are a flawed system, without any shadow of doubt. Any system where you can accidentally misidentify a Jigglypuff’s very battle capabilities for decades is one that needs serious investigation. And I will say it loud and proud until the day that I die; Charizard is a dragon, and even the most ancient of dragon tamers knew as much. Any of you who still believe that it is a flying type have been taken in by the words of a quack, who should have retired as soon as it came out that he spent twenty years conveniently not realising that Mr. Mime are taking more damage from poison moves than they should be. And to Oak, if you’re reading this somehow. I’ll be more than happy to break your nose a second time, you ignorant twit.

I’ll be more than happy to defend my ideas to anybody curious about them. But if you’re here to troll, to make comments and try to defame me; if the ‘leading minds’ of the core gym-gauntlet regions haven’t been able to stifle my truths, what makes you think that you can?

Hey gang I’m here with another Rotomblr blog I’ll probably man for at least… a while. I came up with the idea following a little analysis of Paldea’s Dragon symbol, and I’ll ride it out at least for a while, maybe longer if I get put on ADHD meds any time soon and I don’t keep forgetting shit and then feeling too bad to return to old accounts that I accidentally left dormant for months. Anyway yeah Charizard is a dragon, Oak is an idiot, troll me if you wanna and I’ll respond in character.

[dragonsprof]

You know what, I wish I could refrain here. It’s not my type, it’s not my problem.

However, I am just about at my wits end. If I see one more post about people hating Miltank, I believe I may finally snap. Yes, it’s very clear and obvious, that the Pokémon has extremely engorged, and floppy, udders. And I ask of you- do you believe that Pokémon in the wild would actually grow to look like that?

Miltank look that way, because we made them look that way. Over hundreds of years of selective rearing and breeding, of certain traits that make for a good farm Pokémon. Stubby, underdeveloped horns. An unthreatening appearance. These Pokémon look the way they do so that your Moomoo Milk can heal almost as much as a lab-crafted Hyper Potion. Without these efforts, the Pokémon would look a great deal more like your wild Tauros, and your milk would be far less nutritious. And perhaps, that would have been for the best overall. But this gives you no excuse to make any comment about, and put any blame onto, the Pokémon for the way it looks.

[fablefangs]

fun fact! tropius have a major impact on their local ecosystems. their diet mostly consists of fruits that they usually swallow without crushing the seeds, and they regularly migrate long distances and end up distributing those seeds far beyond where they could have spread on their own. a lot of flying-type pokemon do this, but tropius are big enough to swallow seeds that smaller pokemon would just eat around.

[askkanjohtrio]

Hi all on this blog! It really makes me very upset to see how the Samuel Oak of this world is such... For lack of a better word.. A massive jerk! I really hope you all free from him and he gets what he deserves! Hmph!

Mistreatment of people and pokemon can never be excused!

- Best Regards, Dr. Samuel Oak from a different worm hole

Well I'm sure you'll be happy to know that he got fired recently due to getting exposed by me and Penny from the Taskforce Distortion. Elm has taken his place as of now, and when Red is finished with school in Paldea, she'll be taken in as his apprentice! Safe to say things have gotten much better. - Hibiki

[dragonsprof]

I am sorry for what you've been through; but I'd be lying if I said seeing a corrupt Oak get what for didn't give me some joy. Might even be worth popping out a nightcap this evening.

[prof-cycad]

While there are countless places where the two species do not share a habitat, Heracross and Pinsir are adapted to compete heavily with one another. Both species consume sugary sap, nectar and rotting plant material. The adaptations for their rivalry are still useful when faced with other species.

The intensely strong horns of Pinsir are perfect for grappling with large opponents and uprooting trees. The spikes on their horns allow Pinsir to better incapacitate smooth foes, most notably large Bug Types. The sharp mouthparts of Pinsir allow them to chew through wood and their rivals alike.

Heracross prefer to flip an opponent over and attack their belly. The long horn of a mature Heracross can be used to toss foes into the air with little effort. Because Pinsir have issues righting themselves once on their back, Heracross will hit them with a Seismic Toss followed with some Close Combat.

[dragonsprof]

Well, today is the day of the Annual Regional Scientific Conference, which I suppose I shall be attending. Let’s see what the best and brightest of the world’s minds have to offer for us this year. With luck, we’ll get something more substantial than, what was it? ‘An application for your Rotom Phone that uses subliminal frequencies to draw in Pokémon whilst you are sleeping in the wild’? At least try and justify your pseudoscience… Arc have mercy.

[dragonsprof]

A new official set of starters seem to have been syndicated. Good for them. It’s nice to offer the youth a little variety on their common picks. I look forward to seeing how this will affect Quaxly, Fuecoco and Sprigatito in the public eye now that they are not ‘the new kids’.

[dragonsprof]

Well, today is the day of the Annual Regional Scientific Conference, which I suppose I shall be attending. Let’s see what the best and brightest of the world’s minds have to offer for us this year. With luck, we’ll get something more substantial than, what was it? ‘An application for your Rotom Phone that uses subliminal frequencies to draw in Pokémon whilst you are sleeping in the wild’? At least try and justify your pseudoscience… Arc have mercy.

[professoroaklaboratory]

"I won't be attending since I have other obligations, but give them my best!"

- Professor Oak

[dragonsprof]

I’ll be sure to tell them you said hello, Samuel.

[dragonsprof]

Well, today is the day of the Annual Regional Scientific Conference, which I suppose I shall be attending. Let’s see what the best and brightest of the world’s minds have to offer for us this year. With luck, we’ll get something more substantial than, what was it? ‘An application for your Rotom Phone that uses subliminal frequencies to draw in Pokémon whilst you are sleeping in the wild’? At least try and justify your pseudoscience… Arc have mercy.

[pokemonshelterstories]

met a raichu today and practically got down on my knees and begged her trainer to let me share a pic of her because look at her

[dragonsprof]

What is the theoretical maximum size that a Crawdaunt can reach?

Those who have dedicated their research careers to aquatic Pokémon would be able to answer far better than me, but the generic gist of the matter is that Crawdaunt seem to possess a true form of ‘negligible senescence’- in such that they will never face decline through aging itself. Instead, approximately every year, the Crawdaunt will moult into a new shell, insofar as it may grow larger. After long enough, they will begin to slow down, not due to age but due to size. This is how the life cycle of the Crawdaunt proceeds.

Typically, this slowing begins at approximately four and a half foot for your standard Crawdaunt, with them lucky to reach five feet in their ‘old age’. An Alpha Crawdaunt that has lived a good, long life may hit ten. But, what if a Crawdaunt had a particularly loving trainer, and was given every opportunity and assistance to grow? Well, such cases have been recorded before now. As was the case with Cortado the Crawdaunt, a famous specimen from Sootopolis, whom with frequent supplementation via Shed Shells by her trainer, managed to reach an impressive nine and a half foot long- a truly mind-boggling feat for a standard Crawdaunt. Though this is the largest a specimen has reached compared to its average size, studies can dictate the potential maximum. Without Dynamax, an Alpha Crawdaunt would be able to reach twenty foot, or approximately the size of a truck, before they would be left entirely immobile, unable to even walk. If they were fed properly, cared for deeply and defended adequately, an additional five feet may be gained before their biology would be unable to keep up any further.

If anybody does have a super-sized Crawdaunt to their name, do let me know. I would love to see a modern specimen in-person.

[charlesoberonn]

[dragonsprof]

Hm. Not sure on this one I must admit. But a debate to be had, nonetheless.

[kantocamping]

Parents: What pokemon are good for young first-time trainers?

The ever-reliable birds:

[dragonsprof]

Here’s a fun factlet for you all. Bat Pokémon. As can likely be ascertained by their body shape and general appearance, Woobat and Zubat share a common ancestor and are genetic cousins to each other. It’s theorised that climate was the differentiating factor between the two lines; the colder climates Woobat inhabits required warmer, thicker coats, which then inhibited the effectiveness of echolocation. Low-level psychic abilities developed as a compromise, allowing them to fly freely.

Noibat, meanwhile, despite its chiropteran nature, does not share a common ancestor with either other bat. Rather, it has close common ancestry with Jangmo-o; as can be seen in the stances of their fully evolved forms. The reasons for their own divergences are rather more clear. And, of course, we can say little for Lunala’s own ancestry. Legendaries are rather removed from these discussions.

And I’ll mention this before everybody else does, but no. Gligar is not a bat Pokémon. It is a Flyscorpion Pokémon. It and Skorupi share a known common ancestor, being a large, ground-dwelling cyclopean scorpion Pokémon we have fossil evidence for. It is very likely that this Pokémon, the common ancestor, itself has ancestral relation to the Krabby line. However, attempts to revive this specific species have all ended in failure, and without a live specimen, it’s likely this may never be proven.

[oh-shinx]

Hi, I am just reading old news articles for fun, what the actual FUCK do you mean the legendary birds of Kanto were fused into one being in the Ninties once!?!?!!!??!!?!!?!!????!!!!!!!???!?!!

[dragonsprof]

From what I have seen, the Zapmolcuno incident does not have much hard evidence to back it. Yes, there were reports of Team Rocket wielding a three-headed bird with resemblance to the legendary birds, but no scientific backing exists to suggest it to be a fusion, or the typing of the Pokémon. It could, for instance, have been a Dodrio; which back in the day would have been altered with prosthetics. Though today, there does exist the ZMC Dodrio, a novelty breed crafted through careful breeding to resemble the supposed fusion. They're rare, and only tend to wind up in the hands of collectors, but supposedly they're quite stunning.

[actuallyjustcola]

Babe wake up cola posted more deoxys content

We all love you Pale comet you're the best variant out there I wish you didn't get mauled by Rayquaza for breathing

[dragonfelling]

Fat dratini sushi am I right?

[dragonsprof]

PROFESSOR THERE IS A USER ON HERE WHO THINKS DRAGON TYPES AREN’T REAL

Really? May I ask, in what sense? If it is that they genuinely do not believe that the Pokémon exist in the wild, then frankly, that is ridiculous and I fear I have no hope for them. If, however, their skepticism is that they do not believe that Pokémon can be arbitrarily broken as ‘dragon’ and ‘not dragon’ by the classifications of some scientist, I applaud that manner of thinking greatly. No, perhaps dragon types do not exist. Perhaps there are just Pokémon that take on the features of dragons, as there are Pokémon that take on the features of plants, and of fish, and of rock. I’ve said it before and I shall again- the typing system needs a deep reevaluation.