There's probably not many books on dealing with having NPD because a) most narcissists don't want to "get better" & b) there's not (usually) very much that can even be done to effectively treat NPD in the long term that could be obtained through reading (though it varies case to case of course). NPD patients typically require direct interaction with mental health professionals to have lasting improvement. However, reading CAN typically help victims of Narcissists deal with the emotional trauma.
Wow, okay, so I had read this and intended on responding to it a while ago, but forgot, and it just sat here, so…my bad.First, you make some very good points; namely that (if I understand you correctly)many people with personality disorders are ego-syntonic, and books can be helpful to victims of abuse. Both are points which absolutely need to be made. The post which I made which I believe this anonymous is referencing can be found here. While I certainly do not expect the psychology section of any bookstore to be teeming with pieces on personality disorders which provide solutions to the disorders, basic educational materials on the disorders which go in-depth beyond what the DSM-V does would be a welcome change.Admittedly, it is a little off-putting when several of these books and blogs about NPD and BPD are written by people who are neither practicing psychologists or hold a psychology degree of any kind. It is all the more strange when the disorders are presented by “tell-tale signs” or “red flags” telling you that you might have “come in contact” with a person who has NPD or BPD and includes tips on how to “spot” them.
Language is everything in our culture and using that language to present these disorders and the people with them as hopeless cases who should be shunned by society does not help the situation. Do not misunderstand, people with these disorders have symptoms which as tools for them to build themselves easily as horrible people, but what we choose to do with those tools makes all the difference, and the difference between telling people to drop someone from their life because they are an abuser and telling them to drop someone because of their disorder is immense.
The same is true of when these books and blogs talk about Borderline Personality Disorder. Many people with BPD already think they are wrong, bad, or evil, and seeing books which call them malicious monsters does not help dissuade them from thinking that way. If someone is abusing you, fucking drop them, or drop kick them, or both. The symptoms of personality disorders, though, are just the art supplies. Some people can use what little they have to create a masterpiece whereas the person next to them may be perfectly willing to smear their feces on the wall for two hours before yelling, “Fuck you! Pay me!”
If there was a book written on personality disorders or individual books for each one which delved into the intricacies of the disorders, as has been done with PTSD, depression, panic disorder, and others, then that would be fine. Therapy should be tailored to each specific patient and not received from a one-size-fits-all handbook, but to offer society only a checklist of warning signs and nothing to the patients seems more than just a little fucked up.
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