video of the year
keep the rave alive da

shark vs the universe
we're not kids anymore.
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Stranger Things

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
tumblr dot com
Mike Driver

JVL
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almost home

roma★

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Origami Around
Monterey Bay Aquarium

★
Today's Document
dirt enthusiast
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
Keni

seen from Brazil

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@dramatic-and-erratic
video of the year
keep the rave alive da
I can’t believe Andy Samberg murdered Macklemore.
oh my god, please take 3 seconds out of your day to watch this.
when you first become ‘self aware’ and start to accept your PD it can be strange and daunting at first. please be aware that if you want/need to talk to anyone, send an ask here or find a mod.
even if the page hasn’t updated in a few days, there’s always someone online to help!
There's probably not many books on dealing with having NPD because a) most narcissists don't want to "get better" & b) there's not (usually) very much that can even be done to effectively treat NPD in the long term that could be obtained through reading (though it varies case to case of course). NPD patients typically require direct interaction with mental health professionals to have lasting improvement. However, reading CAN typically help victims of Narcissists deal with the emotional trauma.
Wow, okay, so I had read this and intended on responding to it a while ago, but forgot, and it just sat here, so…my bad.First, you make some very good points; namely that (if I understand you correctly)many people with personality disorders are ego-syntonic, and books can be helpful to victims of abuse. Both are points which absolutely need to be made. The post which I made which I believe this anonymous is referencing can be found here. While I certainly do not expect the psychology section of any bookstore to be teeming with pieces on personality disorders which provide solutions to the disorders, basic educational materials on the disorders which go in-depth beyond what the DSM-V does would be a welcome change.Admittedly, it is a little off-putting when several of these books and blogs about NPD and BPD are written by people who are neither practicing psychologists or hold a psychology degree of any kind. It is all the more strange when the disorders are presented by “tell-tale signs” or “red flags” telling you that you might have “come in contact” with a person who has NPD or BPD and includes tips on how to “spot” them.
Language is everything in our culture and using that language to present these disorders and the people with them as hopeless cases who should be shunned by society does not help the situation. Do not misunderstand, people with these disorders have symptoms which as tools for them to build themselves easily as horrible people, but what we choose to do with those tools makes all the difference, and the difference between telling people to drop someone from their life because they are an abuser and telling them to drop someone because of their disorder is immense.
The same is true of when these books and blogs talk about Borderline Personality Disorder. Many people with BPD already think they are wrong, bad, or evil, and seeing books which call them malicious monsters does not help dissuade them from thinking that way. If someone is abusing you, fucking drop them, or drop kick them, or both. The symptoms of personality disorders, though, are just the art supplies. Some people can use what little they have to create a masterpiece whereas the person next to them may be perfectly willing to smear their feces on the wall for two hours before yelling, “Fuck you! Pay me!”
If there was a book written on personality disorders or individual books for each one which delved into the intricacies of the disorders, as has been done with PTSD, depression, panic disorder, and others, then that would be fine. Therapy should be tailored to each specific patient and not received from a one-size-fits-all handbook, but to offer society only a checklist of warning signs and nothing to the patients seems more than just a little fucked up.
me: 100% sure i am better at managing my behaviour than every other narc in the world
also me: has anxiety attack due to not being the center of attention for five minutes
Story and question(s)?
Just a brief rant that is relevant to this blog:
I’ve neglected to post here a lot but am trying to get back into it. A recent incident has sparked my motivation. One of my best friends, whom I thought I could trust, told me that he “Would never date anyone with Borderline, or any Cluster B personality disorder. Statistically, it’s too dangerous, and I think others should avoid it for their own safety as well.”
This friend knows I have BPD, and he apparently didn’t see how I would be offended by his basically implying that everyone should avoid me. He even told me I should avoid other cluster B people, so who does that leave me with? He refused to listen when I tried to explain that people with these disorders are not a monolith--that assuming we will be abusive is bad, and that plenty of people without these disorders end up doing terrible things.
The sad thing is, I blew up at him and screamed and threw something, which just ends up making it look like his point is valid.
I guess if anything this is just a little poll, if you feel inclined to answer: Have you ever encountered a situation like this? Do any of your friends know about your diagnosis/diagnoses, and how have they responded? Has it changed the way they’ve treated you? Have you been able to sway anyone from their unfair opinions and if so, how?
Thanks for listening.
--Mod Regina
I told my mate that I am diagnosed with Aspd, now he acts all weird around me, and he continues to apologize every time he thinks he said something offensive to me. I asked my other friend what's up with him and it appears that he is scared I will kill him. I tired to explain that, that is not the case at all. But he doesn't seem to get it. I honestly have no flying fuck of a clue what to do now. Advice?
I have BPD and not ASPD, so I’ll give you my input and if anyone here with ASPD wants to chime in that would be great.
I’ve kind of gotten in similar situations with people not understanding, as I have been hospitalized for violent tendencies and have a paraphilia of sadism, among many other diagnoses, which tends to scare people off. I’m not sure of your exact issues, but I feel that if someone truly does not understand you or accept you as you are, particularly when you are trying to make it work, that the relationship will likely fall apart.
I’m not saying you should immediately give up–it might help to arrange a meeting with your therapist/doctor where you and your mate can honestly discuss their concerns and you can try to explain with the backing of a professional. They might be more likely to take that seriously or feel reassured by a clinician explaining besides just you. You could also speak to that professional ahead of time if you trust them and plan some of the things you might say during the meeting. Of course, you would have to convince him to go. If you express that you care about the relationship and think it will help to have this talk and he still resists, I’m not sure what else you can do. It might sound manipulative, but acting particularly nice or caring might also reassure him, but perhaps you are already doing that.
I’m sorry, I feel like I personally can’t offer much more advice, so as I said, if someone else wants to chime in I’d appreciate it.
--Mod Regina
So hey I'm p sure I'm histrionic and schizotypal but looking at the symptoms y'know they're Bella contradictory so like do you think this is even possible?? Thanks
Hey. So. I'm not gonna just bullshit armchair psychologist you. Is having both of them possible? Yes. Is it likely? Statistically, no. You've obviously taken some time to familiarize yourself a little with what's out there and to reflect upon what you're experiencing; now would be a good time to get in touch with a mental health professional in your area. Have some psychometric testing done, an intake interview, and get yourself some help with whatever is keeping you from doing what you need to do. If you're in the US, Google your local Crisis Center, and they should be able to get you in touch with all the mental health providers in your area and tell you which ones have payment plans or scaled income fees, etc. Best of luck, -Mod Emily
I feel like the only way I will ever find peace with myself is if I'm a Bad Person™, like I follow a pretty fair Social Code so I wouldn't call myself a bully, but I am what by other people would see as someone Morally Corrupt and I feel like that gives me a sense of Identity. Though if anybody tries to force onto my Good Person Morals I get very very ticked off and I can't contain myself. Is this a common Cluster b thought?
So Nikki-mod here. And I can’t speak to the other ones since growing up finding affordable dr’s to go to kinda wasn’t a thing that happened. BUT from the few people I do know with Cluster-B related circumstances. It kind of want to say it’s a thing. Especially when I’m around people that know I have BPD. I mean I already act pretty questionable most of the time. I’m really harsh even when I (don’t want to say sympathize but eh yea lets use that) sympathize with people it’s never the way they expect it? I just dig the whole shock factor. (especially since I realized that’s what that habit actually was). It’s almost like a challenge? Kind of like being that moment right after someone says “I bet it can’t any worse” but then it does. I like being the living embodiment of that moment. I’ve apparently liked being that for a very very long time before I even knew how to explain that. And of course the others might disagree but yea I think it’s a bit of a thing. It’s definitely one for me.
Dear Mod Fish, I've been told by someone with BPD that I might have BPD traits, and reading your story about self-diagnosis motivated me to make an appointment with my doctor. So thank you for giving me a path and a way of understanding self-dx that so cleanly cut through all the arguments. Thank you. :)
@rhoynar-queen Hey Fish, you have a fan :)
Thank you all so much for this blog! When confronting people with double standards, I used to talk in circles desperately to avoid harming others when protecting myself. Now, I find it so much easier to get my point across (briefly and clearly), while being respectful to others whether they have PDs or not. And it's also been funny, too - I never used to be able to laugh at the people attacking me for having a personality disorders but now I can.
(so, just FYI, I tried to answer this the other day when you sent it in, but lol no tumblr hates people communicating with each other so fuck replies and shit. I’m super sorry for the delay)
Thank you!!! I love hearing from other people about their experiences, and I’m glad this blog has been helpful for you!
“are you going to hurt yourself” no!!!! but you can sure as hell count on me to fantasize about it 24/7, conjure dozens of elaborate plans on how i can go out in different ways each one forming in the blink of an eye, act it out, experiment hands-on in case one day i do decide i’m actually sure about it, talk and joke about it casually, and idealize the concept of it to the point i cannot function as a worthy member of society
So this came up on my dash and I'm going to rant about it a little so I want to reblog it here:
As I've mentioned before, I'm taking psychology classes, so I get exposed to the full range and brunt of opinions, stigma, hate, and stereotypes regarding BPD (and PDs in general, I'm just extra sensitive to the stuff about BPD). In my abnormal child and adolescent psych class the other day, self harm came up as a diagnostic criterion. My SUBSTITUTE PROFESSOR immediately goes on this tangent about how "self harm is always an indicator of BPD."
1) You can't diagnose PDs in people under 18 for a reason. 2) Sorry to inform you, Dr. Clinical Child Psychology Specialist Sir, but there are DEFINITELY other things that present with self harm, and self harming ideation is NOT a reliable predictor for BPD?????? 3) We were talking about the 1% of the 1% of schizophrenia cases that are legitimately diagnosed in children under age 10????? I'm pretty sure we shouldn't jump on the OH YUP THEY HAVE A PD bandwagon with KIDS we KNOW are delusional??? 4) Self harming is ONE of the criteria for a BPD diagnosis. You can not have this one and still make the diagnosis. 5) UGH. More of the usual "CRAZY BPD PEOPLE LOL CAN NEVER CONTROL THEMSELVES SO EXHAUSTING I HATE BEING AROUND THEM AND THEIR VERY EXISTENCE" rhetoric that is so self assuring.
To anon: A lot of the symptoms of bpd are actually caused by extreme empathy resulting in hypersensitivity! So you can definitely have bpd and have high empathy. My experience with it is that I actually have low sympathy due to my excessive empathy, because I lack the patience to deal with people's emotions since they are so constantly overpowering and intense to me (due to BPD).
Hey! Thanks for the contribution! I love hearing from other people in the community!-Mod Emily
hello! i was told i had borderline traits when i was 15 and have since started identifying as borderline, although my adult pdoc hasn't diagnosed me, so i sometimes feel nervous about not fitting the criteria. my question is, is it unusual for people with bpd to be very empathetic? so many people say that borderline folk don't have empathy but for me, empathy has always been my greatest downfall...i find myself weeping over everyone's problems as well as my own. is this typical of bpd?
Yo! So I reblogged some older posts that have to do with this topic so they’d be at the top for you. Remember that “low empathy” is just one of many possible criteria, and there are multiple ways to get to that end result. Have more questions? Come back and we can talk 😊
um hello I'm coming to terms w the realization that Im prolly borderline and there r. two problems. 1 is that I'm already prof dxed with 6 different mental illnesses and I feel like I'm overdiagnosed as it is and I don't want to (cont ++
++ cont) bring it up w my therapist for fear of being put on another medication- of which I currently have 8. 2 is that I have VERY high empathy and I’ve heard BPD = low empathy (sorry for dumping I saw yr post and kind of jumped at the opportunity)
First of all, don’t feel bad for dumping! We’ve literally requested asks lol. I really would like to make people feel comfortable enough to come and talk to us. I’d like to foster that kind of an environment.
ONE possible criterion for BPD is low empathy. You don’t HAVE to meet all of the criteria to be diagnosed BPD. I personally tend to err on the side of higher empathy. So it’s possible.
Maybe what you should do with your therapist/psychiatrist/whatever is bring up the fact that you feel over-diagnosed and over-medicated. One of the number 1 things that works against patient adherence is an overly complicated treatment plan. If I were in your shoes, I would request an “audit” of sorts— especially if you’ve had some of these diagnoses or have been on these medications for a while. There’s a lot of overlap with some conditions, things change, yada yada. It’s always good to just check back on WHY you’re doing what you’re currently doing.
-Mod Emily
P.S. Hey, I’m so so sorry this took forever. I was trying to get some other people’s opinions and… well it didn’t happen. Please, feel free to ask again if I didn’t cover everything you needed me to cover!
For the anon talking about empathy (I'm PD-NOS, but mostly cluster B) and for me I'm highly empathetic, and because of how intensely I feel the emotions around me, I tend to dissociate and shut down to protect myself, making it look like I'm more closed off and lacking empathy when the opposite is actually true.
THAT is how I feel a lot of the time. Glad to hear some people relate. Hopefully that other anon sees this!
-Mod Emily