lesbians, lizards, literature

you are allowed to percieve me in small doses

[ghostlypawn]

WE’RE BALLPLAYERS, CARSON. WE’RE FAMOUS. EVERYONE WANTS US.

LUPE GARCIA + JESS MCCREADY A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN (2022-)

[homunculus-argument]

Every time some flannel-wearing old man dies and all his good clothes get dumped to a thrift shop, it's like a whalefall for the local masc-presenting thrift-shoppers.

[bugsongs]

[frankingsteinery]

AITA for not telling my fiancé I know he’s queer? 

I 20s (F) have a 20s (M) fiancé, V, and he’s been talking about this terrible secret he cannot tell me and he keeps almost starting to come out and then backing out. The issue is V and I were raised together by his parents, and my surrogate 40s (M) father and (now deceased) surrogate mother arranged for our marriage back when we were both children. They thought it was the best for us and at the time we were too young to realize the implications and had no reason to reject to the match. When we were teenagers our mother was on her deathbed and she told us again that she wished for us to marry, and of course we both agreed. However, V is also best friends with a 20s (M) guy called H, and they were nearly inseparable as boys and teens. They also went to university together and shared an apartment but V had to come home due to family reasons. Lately he’s been going out all day and coming home at night hours later. He insists that he’s fine and that we all leave him alone and not worry for him, but I think he and H have been sneaking around. He even delayed our wedding day by arranging a trip to go to England alone with H. It’s exhausting for all of us and I think I should just tell V I know and support him and that we can call off the marriage, but I’m not sure that’s the best course of action? I’m completely fine with not marrying him - he always felt more like a brother to me anyway - but I worry it might come off wrong. The worst part is he’s really beating himself up about it. He’s so guilty it’s beginning to take a toll on his health. I don’t care if he has a boyfriend I just want him to be happy.

EDIT: nvm he built an 8ft creature in his dorm

[heartcellar]

here's a fake interview about my me & my girlfriend that i transcribed from my head. enjoy!

[princelabia]

im inventing a new bechdel test that you can only pass if your movie has two butches alone together smoking and maybe one of them grabs the other by the belt loops and then one of them puts a cigarette out on the other and then they start making out against a truck and maybe there's a little bit of teeth and tracy chapman is playing on the radio and we can hear them breathing and cut to black. or not. maybe not cut to black. i will leave that up to you but remember there is a right answer

[curioscurio]

i'll do it for sam

[frostmantle]

the more things change

[curioscurio]

[phantomrose96]

Affirmations to read to your cat:

You are strong, capable, and wise without standing on my keyboard

You are respected and loved without standing on my keyboard

You are capable of accomplishing all things you set your mind to without standing on my keyboard

All things will come to you in time without standing on my keyboard

There is wet-food and toy-time in your future without any need to stand on my keyboard

Get off my keyboard

[phantomrose96]

Positive and affirming personal connections will follow you thriksd ioksawygvbvweyth hjn bnjmjbnjbn jbn...333333333333333333333333

knfdokl,pbv vbyudfsded443eeeee4e

[Computer enters Mirror Dimension Mode, activated by a 32-hotkey press whose secret died with Soviet Russia]

[angelmush]

lesbians will text u the most insane string of words

[secretmellowblog]

🚨 SCAM JOB ALERT🚨

Watch out for any job listings that claim you’ll cruise the seas for American gold, fire no guns, and shed no tears. These are all scams and the job is NOT as advertised. Source: I fell for it and am now a broken man on a Halifax pier

[bugsongs]

i am on some kind of gay ass journey

[bugsongs]

the L in LOTR stands for lesbians

[macleod]

this fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined

[hawkeabelas]

while kissing my cat's little head: you're a problem *smooch* you're a terror *smooch* you're a menace to society *smooch smooch smooch*

[thecryptkeeper]

fourth of july? you know they made that up for jaws (1975) right?

[suddenrundown]

i have a very specific problem, which is that i thought a league of their own and yellowjackets were the same show. they are not.

[suddenrundown]

i dont know, maybe i saw “yellowjackets” and thought “oh yes, the name of the lesbian’s baseball team…why are they eating people.”

[suddenrundown]

you’re right, who am i to question the lesbians

[suddenrundown]

hey now

[figonas]

don’t even THINK in the direction of the “skip intro” button when the Black Sails theme comes on. I will beat you to death with my bare hands because you challenged my authority, then lie to everyone about it after and tell them you were a thief. that hurdy gurdy comes on & we vibing for the next minute & forty-five seconds.

[great-and-small]

Apparently if you find a tagged Horseshoe crab and report it to Fish and Wildlife they’ll send you a certificate with info about your crab AND a pewter horseshoe crab pin! Keep your eyes peeled 👀

(Photo from the Nantucket Conservation Foundation)

[weirdkatharine]

Good news!  Getting a good grade in crab is normal to want and possible to achieve!