Neurosurgeon

Ind. & private Derek Shepherd

[drdreamy]

i would just like everyone to know that its been 2 years and @twisted-but-pretty still has yet to reply to me on ANY of her blogs.

[drdreamy]

twisted-but-pretty:

   He let out a laugh, doing his best to cover up the pang of … whatever it was    he felt… as his thoughts turned to Addison. Guilt? Remorse? Anger? There    was no way to know for sure, but the last thing he needed to do was spill    his emotions onto a new friend. Get over it, Derek.

    It had been a hell of a long time since he’d met a doctor like Derek, one who knew how to     take a joke and wasn’t a stuffed shirt who loved themselves so much that candlelit dinners     alone with themselves weren’t necessarily out of the question. The thought brought a grin     to Guy’s face that only widened at the other man’s question about black market organs, the     teasing gleam in his eye easily distinguished, earning a low chuckle from the Englishman,      who replied in kind.

                “Unfortunately they’ve gone down in value. It’s gotten so a                  man can’t even afford a good used Jaguar for the price of                  a pair of kidneys these days. Bloody inflation. Shameful really.”

  Grabbing a pre-packaged salad and a bottle of water from the cooler, Guy led the way to   his usual table, the view of the garden courtyard below feeling slightly less clinical and sterile   than anyplace else in the hospital. Focused on pouring dressing on the bowl of greens, he   glanced up at Derek and nodded, taking a bite of salad and chewing thoughtfully as he   considered the other man for a moment.

             “The place isn’t a joke. It’s the flat I’ve lived in for the past five                  years – apart from a year spent in Afghanistan. It’s quiet, great                  features…we love it, but we need a bigger place. No yard for                  kids or the dog to run and play. But it’s perfect for a starter.”

    A brilliant smile curved his lips and brightened his gaze as he glanced down at the ring in     question, unable to conceal the glow of happiness even if he’d wanted to.

                “We’re newlyweds, actually. Met in Afghanistan, and when our tours                  were over we sort of reconnected again and we’ve been together ever                  since. And yeah…he is very understanding of a doctor’s lifestyle.”

    There was a vague hesitance in his voice, uncertain of Derek’s reaction to the revelation.     There were two kinds of people: those who shrugged it off as no big deal and those who     turned their noses up and looked down upon Guy and Killian’s relationship, and while the     other man certainly didn’t seem the type to deride them for being together (he was from     New York after all, Guy reasoned) the Englishman was tense as he waited for Derek to     say something about the news he’d just been handed.

       Yep, Derek. That seemed about right...open mouth, insert foot. He paused          in his chewing, swallowing and taking a sip of his water before glancing at          the man sitting across from him. The air was thick with tension, the atmosphere          suddenly more than a little uncomfortable, and the older doctor couldn’t help          but feel that he and his overly large mouth for a main cause of that.                        “ I didn’t ... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed like that.”            He glanced down at the table, studying his sandwich for a moment as the           silence continued to stretch between them. Why did it still feel so awkward?           Was it the apology? Had that made it more awkward? He didn’t –– he couldn’t           just say  ‘I completely support that’ , could he? God, that sounded like he            somehow believed the other man was waiting for that, like the younger doctor           somehow needed his permission...            Derek cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat, smiling slightly across at           Guy as he picked at a piece of turkey poking out from its nest of lettuce           and bread.                       “ I knew two guys back home, met the same way. They were                        right in the thick of it, counted themselves incredibly lucky to                        come home without a scratch. I was really close with both of                        them all throughout med school and really glad they managed                        to come back from something so dismal with something so                        great.. I’m glad to hear the same of you and yours.“           He offered the younger man a smile, taking another bite as thoughts steered           once more to the apartment. Perfect for a starter, he had said ... and thats            what Derek needed. A place to start over, to begin again. He had built the           house for the kids and the dog with the huge yard .. and Addison had sent           it crashing down around him. A starter home, a place with no room for any           of that ... it sounded perfect.                        “ The apartment, if you’re serious and sure, I mean ... it                            sounds great. Like just what I was hoping to find. I                           really appreciate the offer, you have no idea. So much                           that I’m thinking about giving you first dibs on one of my                           black market organs we talked about.”

[drdreamy]

ourladyclaire:

               God, that is such a doctor thing to say.

             She knew he didn’t mean it, that it was one of those things the              surgeons would  say to   distance   themselves.  And to some              degree they had to, to stay SANE. But Christ, what a dick move.

       The ER had been particularly hectic all night, with seemingly little prelude.         First some kind of ANIMAL bite, then what appeared to be a spat between        two middle-aged musicians, blazed out of their minds and delirious. 

            Then the gurneys just started rolling in.

                          “ — Maybe it’s some kind of designer drug that makes the                              guy next to you look like an ice cream cone.  Careful                                Dr. Shepherd, they might take a lick out of you next, ”                                       Claire teased dryly as she disinfected her hands.

                   …And then they pushed the doors into the ER, where Claire                spotted one of the nursing interns pulling a  bloodied arm                from a barely-just sedated patient’ mouth, sinew and tissue            hanging from his TEETH. She sprinted forth, grabbing                 for gauze to hold to the other nurse’s wounds and pulling her                out of the way.

              What the hell ?! The chaos was unimaginable, the screaming              and the blood and the overall gore more than anything Derek had              ever seen in his life as a surgeon. He stood in the doorway, eyes              staring in disbelief even as fingers pulled the mask away from his              lips so he could speak –– so that he could breathe.              An intern was screaming somewhere in the chaos, high pitched              shrieking embedding itself in his brain as he located her, turning              to the woman at his right.                            “ Claire? Claire! No!”             He sprinted forward, hands quickly securing the patient in question             to the bed before turning to where his nurse and the intern huddled             together in safety.                             “ Keep pressure on it. Make sure to disinfect it...                              how deep is it, can you tell?”              Green eyes stayed trained on the man in the bed, brows furrowing              with a sort of grim fascination at the way he bit and hissed and              struggled; tearing at his own skin in his haste to get away. To be              free. More screams shook Derek out of his reverie and he glanced              about, heart beginning to hammer a steady rhythm at the sight of              more patients just like him.                              “ Claire, Claire.. “              Her name was hissed through clenched teeth, eyes never leaving              the pandemonium as he backed up slightly, closer to where she              helping the other woman.                             “ Tell me what this looks like to you, Claire. I’m                                 pretty sure I’ve seen this movie before... “            

[drdreamy]

whoneedsfairygodmothers:       

    It was too much, all of it. The lights, the noises, all the strange faces     half-hidden so that only their eyes were visible; they had all begun to     blur together in a dizzying haze…or maybe that was the drugs they’d     given her to dull the pain? They weren’t working, only taking the edge     off the fierce agony and leaving her confused and disoriented, unable     to focus on anything but the noise in the delivery room, the clatter of     instruments and the voices of the nurses too loud in her ears as she     fought to bring a new life into the world.

    Then she heard that first plaintive cry. Her baby…

    No. Not yours. Someone else’s baby. Someone else’s miracle.

    The noise faded for a long moment, the buzzing in her head drowning     it out as she struggled not to cry. She was Emma Swan. She didn’t cry.     Tears were a sign of weakness, and she couldn’t afford any of that. Not     if she was going to make it through this with her sanity intact. Resolutely,     Emma turned her thoughts from the baby she’d never hold, never see     take its first steps, never watch grow up and learn to drive and…

    Another sound cut through the fog in her brain, this one gentle but firm,     catching her attention and holding it. She raised her tear-stained gaze     to the doctor’s, kind eyes visible above his mask, his voice almost like a     balm to her shattered nerves, and for a moment Emma contemplated what     he was telling her. She was a criminal, a convicted felon, not someone who     should be raising a child on her own, and yet his suggestion made her stop     and wonder…

    No. He’s not for you, Emma Swan. Not yours.

                “Can I…” 

    She hesitated, voice thick with unshed tears, one hand reaching up almost     plaintively before falling back to the bed beside her. She shouldn’t ask. 

                “Can I just see him? Just once…”

     If the near constant throat clearing by the nurse behind him was any       indication, he was fairly certain he was going to find himself answering       more than a few questions once this was over –– but Derek found that       he really didn’t care. Seeing the brief flicker of hope in the woman’s       eyes, the way she asked if she could see her son as if she still wasn’t       quite sure she had that right ... Goddammit, it made him sick. These       prisoners –– these women –– deserved every right that any other mother       had. Who the hell hadn’t made a mistake at some point in their lives?        Did that mean you were suddenly unfit to be a parent? If that were the       case, Derek could name more than a few who should have chosen        adoption standing in the room ...       A snort left him at the thought as he turned, holding his arms out for the       baby and giving the older nurse a rather forceful stare until she complied.       The boy was big, already smiling at just a few minutes old with a mop of       dark hair surprisingly different than that of his mother, the blonde.                               “ Here .. “        He grinned as he handed him over, knowing Emma would be able to        hear it in his voice despite the mask that still covered most of his face.        The tiny, wriggling body stopped moving almost immediately, nestling        into the woman’s arms as if he realized he was where he meant to be.        Like he knew those arms were home... The nurse mumbled something        about needing to hurry on and Derek shifted, shooting her a glare over        his shoulder before laying gentle fingers on the young mother’s shoulder.        This was her decision. Her choice. She had every right to change her mind        and he would be damned before he let some old walking bag of bones in        need of a dire attitude adjustment made it for her.                           “ Take your time. We’ll leave you two alone and I’ll                             be back in to check on you in a minute. I’ll be right                             outside, alright? Just yell for Doctor Shepherd if you                             need anything. And Emma ... “        The hand on her shoulder squeezed slightly, the mask over his mouth moving         once more as lips curved up in a grin.                          “ No matter what you decide, you are his mother. Nothing                            can ever take that away from you. “        

[drdreamy]

actualmrsshepherd:

          “ That’s all it takes, simple, isn’t it? ”

It was nearly enough cause for a stroke as his hand reached for hers, like they were Derek and Addison again. They always had been, hadn’t they? Ever since med school they’d shared everything together. Holiday after another their lives had intertwined and she couldn’t help, but wonder where the  magic  had gone? Sure, she knew him and out, or at least she could pretend she did, but that wasn’t all that great marriages were based on. Her life was no shining example, both of them practically raised by one person alone. Perhaps that was the kindred spirit she’d found in Derek. If one child from a broken home could find a resonance for its soul’s aching? Perhaps that was enough. Captain and Bizzy had been a nightmare, but it could never compare to what Derek had to see. He didn’t talk about it, of course– she wouldn’t have either. But he was her husband, so she could allow this one thing to himself. As hand embraces his, she takes a small sip of wine with her eyes searching for a way into his soul. Would he let her in again? 

 Simple. Derek would be the first to admit he didn’t know quite what this was,   but he was also fairly certain that simple didn’t begin to cover even the most   basic thing about it. He had been closed off, distant –– sure that Addison was   hiding something from him, from their marriage. Had that been what did this?   Had something as simply stupid as not communicating been the catalyst for   the wide expanse of space that seemed to stretch endlessly between them now?   A grin curved his lips as eyes met hers once more, expression softening in a    determination to not let her see how much he still worried –– how much he always   worried.                          “ If the fix is as easy as all that, then that’s what we’ll do. “   His hand squeezed hers for effect, thumb brushing lightly over her palm as his   eyes turned once more to the menu at hand; perusing the endless list of entree   names and descriptions but not really seeing, thoughts focusing on something   else. Something far more important in his mind.                            “ Addison, have you thought about –– I mean, things have                               gotten so crazy between us here. Have you thought about                               a change of scenery? A chance to really start over? Brand                                new...? “   Derek trailed off, tongue trailing over suddenly dry lips as fingers reached for the   glass of liquid courage sitting so near; gaze studying the red liquid sloshing in its’   depths. It wouldn’t be enough to really feel it and that was fine, a discussion like    this called for a certain level of finesse anyhow, but it would be enough to temper   his nerves. Perfect. A swallow and he let out a sigh, fingers releasing her own to   instead drum a nervous rhythm on the table.                                 “ I got a job offer. In Seattle. I think I should take it. I think                                    we should take it. They would be crazy to not want you                                    as well. We could get away from here, from all of...this.”                               

[drdreamy]

drdreamy:

            starter call

[drdreamy]

whysnakes:

PSA; 

A friendly reminder to my followers on all of these blogs that I have not gone anywhere. I am just working 9 hour days and waking up at 430 in the morning and its killing me. I hope to catch up on everyone soon. In the meantime, if you would like to send me a plotting ask on my main blog, feel free to find me over at piraticalwit. I am on Hook every day, even if I don’t manage to write a draft.  While some of my blogs have unfortunately been placed on a temporary hiatus for an unforeseeable amount of time due to both muse and time, the following are the list of blogs I still consider ‘active’ (no matter how much their activity level may seem otherwise) Prince Charming Captain Hook Han Solo Derek Shepherd Indiana Jones Draco Malfoy

[drdreamy]

autemlunae:

     It was ridiculously early, even by her standards, the sun just breaking      free of the horizon as she’d turned onto his street, and Ruby could only      hope the peace offering of a venti dark roast would buy her some good      will when it came to the favor she was about to ask him for. Begging for      Derek’s help on his day off wasn’t at the top of her list of favorite things,      but in this case it was necessary…and fortunately, if his remark was any      indication, he wasn’t surprised.

              “Is it that obvious? Not that I don’t enjoy your company,                but I probably wouldn’t have been knocking at your door                at the crack of dawn for a social call.”

     Green eyes followed him as he moved to the couch, a smirk tugging at one      corner of her mouth. He was almost cute like this, all disheveled and sleepy      – not to mention half-dressed, which was no hardship at all to handle, really.       Of course she’d never tell him. They had a perfectly good working relationship,       why ruin it like that? But she couldn’t help the playful grin that curved her lips       or the teasing tone that slipped out in response to his suspicious question.

              “I guess you’ll have to take your chances, won’t you Doctor?                …Live on the edge.”

        “ –– Or I can just wait until I have the chance to make a coffee run myself.” He grinned, off setting the sarcastic barb with a quick sip before grimacing and setting the cup down on a nearby table.              “ I’m kidding. Its not that bad. Which means you definitely didn’t                 make it and therefore aren’t trying to kill me this morning. Thanks,                 Lucas. I owe you one.” The door opened wider as he stepped aside, inviting her in. The room was a disheveled mess –– to Derek, anyways –– and he found himself wincing as he took in the empty bowl atop his coffee table (a few remaining kernels stuck to the outer rim) and the jacket he has carelessly thrown over the back of an armchair the night before. He was usually cleaner, a trait he assumed came with being in the medical profession ... but Friday nights were his night off, a preclude of the peace that usually that surrounded him on Saturday mornings. At least those mornings when Ruby didn’t show up knocking on his door..                   “ Make yourself at home, I’ll be right back. I need to uh – “ Arms gestured to his half dressed state as he let out a slight laugh, taking another sip of coffee and grabbing the empty popcorn bowl on his way into the kitchen. It killed him to just toss it into the sink, to not even wash it .. but he knew the woman in the other room no doubt had pressing matters to attend to .. no matter how jovial she was on the surface. With a last forlorn look at the sink he strode once more through the Room where Ruby sat, shooting her an apologetic grin as he bounded up his stairs –– but not before grabbing his coat and hanging it where it belonged.  In truth, the unexpected visit had him excited. It wasn’t often that something broke routine enough to warrant a weekend visit, and those things that had left a memorable impression on the older man. One thing was for certain .. this Saturday was definitely not going to be boring.

[theraptorguy-blog]

HOLY RAPTORS, BATMAN !! thank you for thinking my meme ass was worth your time & sticking around even if i haven’t been that active lately. y’all are so great buuut here’s a list of some people i love seeing on my dash.

[theraptorguy-blog]

itinerariies || thcbeta || prophetry || snakejacket || decoriis || glastann || martyrdomes || changedsongbird || unseenmockingjay || jurassicdaily || queenxcersei || serjaimes || slytherrus || sxmniare || toshootfirst || maskdad || silkssongsandchivalry || nevermisses || prxncecharming || lixnheart || witandcharms || lionford || personistar || tofeign || morguliis || bloodiedwolf || madeofwildfire || adeloes || betterking || thedarknesstohislight || furiiosa || littlewinterdove || pugpicker || manictwink || archently || shieldarmed || thiievery || combatsituation || pureironking || darkinherheart || fightsback || voiidstuff || aintashes || distruust || rebelliions || explcsive || bcnishment || laidre || pickedaside || mortxuum || nobodiesgovernor || velociractor || misslancelot || feraliity || fromtragedy || ofmiidnight || postvoided || learnedskill || heraldofdoubt || offireandrebellion || raptcr || sheruled || lilraptor || poisixn || msmasrani || charlieguana || ghoulardii || raptorclawed || noforceonearth || mccallito || streetratted || drowningcure || veggiesaur || gumring || raptorleader || raisedbetter || dinosplicer || alphxlfa || criminalcoded || brckenwatch || vigiilance || markofakiller || dcigratia || oflongnecks || lowbcrn || securiitystuff || notbrcken || cnceandfuture || fisked || whysnakes || notadiick || battlesworn || hariolates || piraticalwit || booksmarting || battlecho || ncncriminal || metdeath || projeep || oholywar || drdreamy || elderwandskeeper 

[chelebelleslair]

[drdreamy]

       “ I’m not implying anything, Mr Teach. But your son has a very           serious head wound and he won’t tell us how he got it.. “ That was a lie. The kid had talked. Had fed him some cock and bull story that probably would have sounded less rehearsed had he not been slightly panicked and terrified by the blood that the nursed had to keep wiping away from his eyes. Derek had to hand it to him, he had a career in acting... would probably go far if the dedication he had shown during their talk was anything to go by. But there was only one reason that kids lied like that, that they shook so hard  their teeth rattled .. and the doctor was fairly certain this particular boy’s accident  was standing right in front of him.  He had finished the stitches, rewarded the boy with a fairly good  dose of morphine and made the appropriate calls ... but now he wanted some answers for himself. Fingers twitched at his sides as he shifted, leaning his balance more towards one foot.                “ I can understand if you weren’t there, parents can’t be                  everywhere. But how did you find him? Did a friend come                  and get you and .. “   Eyes flickered briefly over to the blonde in the corner, apparently more observed in studying her nails than in any news related to her son’s health. What the hell was with these people?              “ ... Mrs. Teach for help? Was he playing? Does he get injured                 like this often? Get into fights? There are bruises all over him..” Ones I’m sure you know about, you bastard.

[drdreamy]

       “ My god, I didn’t follow any of that. “ Fingers wrapped around the warm cup of coffee he had bought for the detective, pressing it into his grasp rather forcefully. He didn’t bother telling Holmes to follow him, he knew he would anyways ... besides, they had done this dance too many times already for it not to be routine. The halls were silent, most of the staff already asleep or off for the later night shift and Derek sighed, nodding to those few uninterested co workers they did pass.             “ You know the drill.  Don’t spend all day in here and                try not to make too much of a mess because you                break it .. I fix it .. got it?” Another sigh as he turned sideways, shouldering his way into the morgue and gesturing to the correct compartment as he made his way to the sink, quickly and efficiently scrubbing in.               “ And you know what else? Tell John this is the last                  time he can call in any favors for you to me. Your                  last experiment for an investigation almost left me                  without a job. And we simple people? Well, we need                  jobs to eat... “

[drdreamy]

       “ –– Derek Shepherd. Nice to meet you ... Aurora. “ Eyes flickered briefly to the chart in his hands, confirming the patient’s name as he glanced back up with a grin that was probably a little over enthusiastic considering the circumstances. Hey, it was a cliche but he wasn’t above those. He’d admit it. The young woman in front of him looked tired –– understandably so if the complaint on her chart was anything to go by –– and Derek had learned long ago that often the best way to get through to a don’t really wanna be here patient, was to be excited and upbeat enough for the both of you. It was pathetic, yeah ... but it got the job done. Grin widened as he slid into a chair across from where she sat, straddling it so he could rest his arms along the back. Other than the appearance of being tired and slightly off color (which could easily be a side effect of her exhaustion), Aurora seemed fine. But still, the need to talk –– to introduce himself and find out a little more in regards to her and her symptoms–– was present and strong.                 “ So you’re having trouble sleeping, huh? I’ve been there. It                   sucks. I blamed my wife’s snoring and then I had even more                   trouble sleeping. Turns out a $5,000 designer couch is about                   as comfy as it looks––– not very. “

[drdreamy]

            “ Emma, Emma, listen to me. You’ve got to listen.. “ Derek’s voice rose louder in his insistence, trying to be heard, trying to make her listen. He couldn’t say why this was so important, why the young woman in the bed beside him was any different than  the other countless women who had once been in her place .. but she was different. Or maybe just Derek’s professional opinion had finally lost the battle between his own feelings.. either way... Fingers tightened on the railing of the bed as blue eyes glanced over his shoulder to the still crying baby in the nurse’s arms. A boy. With a head already covered in dark hair.                 “ You can still change your mind, do you know that? Its                    fine if you don’t want to, but you don’t have to do this.” He could feel the eyes behind him, the older nurse’s gaze no doubt boring a hole into the back of his skull.. but he didn’t care. To hell with professionalism. How were you supposed to stay professional day in and day out with a job like this? The mother in front of him thought she was doing the right thing –– and that was fine, for all he knew, she was –– but he had had to listen to too many women who regretted their decision afterwards. Who hadn’t been told that it wasn’t too late. Gaze flickered back down, arms gesturing to the wailing infant behind him and words muffled through the mask he still wore over the majority of his face.                                         “ Do you want to hold your son?” “                   

[drdreamy]

        “ What? Oh, I’m –– Sorry. “ He tried to smile at the other man, expression faltering as he  glanced upwards at the sky once more. It had been a long day, hell it had been a long year.. and now that Derek had finally gotten what he had been wishing for the entire past week ... a solid 24 hours off from the hospital ... he didn’t know what to do with it.  Going home wasn’t an option, it didn’t even feel like home anymore. Addison was always upset, always away. She claimed she was working but what were the chances that she never seemed to be around when Derek had a few moments to look for her, to tell her he loved her and ask how her day was? He was beginning to face the facts, to listen to the voice that gnawed at the back of his mind telling him the same truth over and over.                       She was a liar. A laugh slipped out as he shook his head, gaze turning downwards to the bottle at his feet. It had been stupid coming here, he probably looked like some drunk to whoever had stumbled across him. But could the guy really blame him? Wasn’t it human nature after all to seek out comfort, something that stayed amidst all the chaos, even as your life crumbled around you?             “ I didn’t think anyone would be on campus this late. I’m                not here to destroy or vandalize, I promise. Want a beer?                I’ve probably had plenty.”

[drdreamy]

           “ Well, good morning to you too. Always a pleasure.” He squinted against the sunlight, lips curving into a slight smirk even as he reached for the coffee that the woman was holding out for him.  Sleep tousled hair stuck up every which way from the back of his head and Derek yawned, scratching absent-mindedly at the side of his neck. It was supposed to be his day off –– no, scratch that –– was his day off, and yet the sudden arrival of Marshal Lucas at his front door didn’t really surprise him one bit.                  “ Let me guess .... you need me... “ A slight chuckle escaped him as he shook his head, turning around briefly to fish a discarded shirt from the nearby couch before facing her once more. Coffee was raised to his lips as he paused, arching a brow quizzically as he sniffed it.                “ This is really Starbucks, right? You didn’t make it and just                  pour it into an excess cup? I’ve had your coffee before Ruby,                  and ... no offense... its not an experience I’d wish to repeat at                  7 am on a Saturday morning.”

[drdreamy]

       “ Do we even really want to go in there? I don’t really want to go            in there. What is with people, tonight? Is there a full moon or some            party downtown that no one told me about? “ Fingers reached up, securing his surgical mask with the quick tie of a knot as eyes flickered over to his companion. Night shifts were usually quiet, it was night after all ... and besides the occasional  out of the blue emergency, Derek had long since grown accustomed to spending such work hours with a cup of coffee and good conversation. The chaos behind the doors to the Emergency Room –– whatever it  stemmed from –– was definitely not something he had been banking on. He chuckled, lips curving upwards slightly at Claire in a grin he knew she couldn’t see as he nodded, gesturing to the door way.                “ Ladies first. I have a Chai Latte waiting for me that is                   going to be seriously put out if I’m not back to enjoy                   it in twenty minutes or less.”