everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving
Here is the official* soundtrack album** of THE LONELY ODYSSEY, a jukebox musical where Odysseus recounts his adventures through the music of his favorite novelty band, The Lonely Island (to whom he relates because he has also been lonely and on an island). Surely this will be the Homer adaptation of the summer.
Intro where Odysseus is all fucked up from the ocean and summarizes his story - Like A Boss (“turn into a pig/fuck some witches”)
Flashback To The Trojan Horse - Dick in a Box
Leaving Troy and Heading out to Pillage the Cicones - I’m On A Boat
Actually Pillaging the Cicones - Diaper Money (and they have to flee while getting their asses kicked during Grave Plot)
Chilling With The Lotus Eaters - Lazy Sunday
Hello Mr. Cyclops Polyphemus My Name Is Nobody - I Threw It On The Ground
Bag of Winds - Boombox (the bag of winds was way too powerful)
Laestrygonians - Like A Boss (reprise) (the giants are the boss this time)
Circe - I Just Had Sex
Underworld - spooky reprise of the Grave Plot section of Diaper Money
Underworld but now we’ve reunited with our good pals Achilles and Patroclus - Spring Break Anthem
INTERMISSION (ending with an instrumental medley reprise of Boombox and Dick in a Box)
Circe (again) - Three Way (The Golden Rule) (the non-gay third leg of the 3 way is grief :( so sad)
Sirens - Jack Sparrow (A lot of people don't know this but this is the actual song that the canonical sirens in The Odyssey of Homer were actually singing. It's true! Ask anyone who was there!)
Scylla/Charybdis - Sushi Glory Hole
The Part Where They Go to the Island With the Cows and Everyone Dies - dream ballet that plays out exactly like Dear Sister
Calypso - Jizz In My Pants
Return to Ithaca - I’m On A Boat (Reprise) (Minor Key) (Foreboding)
Killing All The Suitors - Motherlover (this is a duet with Telemachus who gets the line “you should fuck some other mother” while doing something super awesome like a backflip or many many murders)
Made this a year ago and just rediscovered it. I think it must have been inspired by a different post that called several of these people "problematic amnesiacs" because no way did I come up with that phrase on my own, but ten minutes of googling did not help me find anything so many apologies to OP for making your idea worse.
you just KNOW that if Bella had idk, worn eyeshadow? edward would have been like “oh, i can’t read the WHORE’S mind. that’s weird. anyways” and the book would have ended right there.
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
gamechangershow
vaporwave
