Coloring in a black and white world

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Nine -

Project Runway

Our society is filled with the pressures and temptations to look and dress our best; but for what purpose?  Beauty is seldom an individual opinion where one person’s observation is viewed as the only standpoint.  When we take a closer look at our society it is clear that there are certain standards put in place with regards to beauty.  However, this does not take into account how beauty’s changes through the course of time.  What was beautiful a hundred years ago may not be considered beautiful now; society and media change our perspectives, our outlooks, and our morals based on the world’s interpretation.  Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, it is instead, given to us by means of society, the media, and our peers.

Our peers have a large influence on us.  Common trends pop up within certain age groups or a certain gender that bring people together.  We all want to fit in and never want to be the one outcast that doesn’t click with other people, like the loner standing in the corner depressed and secluded.  I can remember when skinny jeans first became a popular trend again when I was in eighth grade; I made it a goal to have a pair of my own, because if anyone saw you wearing flare jeans, it means you are lame and not cool.  Not following the clothing trends made you look like you weren’t good enough to dress like the other people.  Though flare jeans didn’t make me look ugly, I wanted to have skinny jeans because at the time, those were what showed who kept up with the every changing societal trend; and I personally did not want to be the lone ranger.  Now this isn’t to say that skinny jeans don’t look decent on me, because they do, it simply implies that whether or not popular clothing interests you at all; it would be a lie to say that your friend’s thoughts about you do not affect how you think. 

Your peers as well as society both link together in the way that they both judge you.  Society, as a whole, is like a courthouse.  You go in, give your statement, and get judged.  No one knows you personally and the honest fact is very few really care.  But they look and you and create an opinion or first impression on you by your looks.  Because of this beauty can be a very controversial word; therefore it has numerous definitions coined by different people through the years, but the concept of beauty is one that society comes to base people on this imaginative figure with flawless features.  Our peers would base their bias opinions from that of society and what society thinks is the best for everyone.  Top celebrities and their paparazzi will set what will become the soon to be hairstyle, clothing line, or the have-to-have brand name accessories.  Society has created an environment that is obsessed with appearance and supplies us with what are considered to be the ideal features for a person.

The media, for the most part, provide us with examples of what beauty is, or what it should be.  People fantasize about beauty when they see actresses like Lea Michelle, or perhaps Megan Fox, in our current thinking.  Our parents and grandparents, on the other hand, may prefer a more conservative beauty than those found in the latest Seventeen Magazine.  The media presents society with unrealistic body types promoting people, especially women, to look like them.  When walking down the aisle at the book store, we can see countless works dedicated to bettering people’s appearance.  How often we are able to find a work that is based on modeling the perfect character?  Someone with a character that is unselfish and would rather spend their time in books that going to the mall.  Often people will take this advice too seriously and come to believe that they aren’t good enough.  With girls especially, eating disorders have become a huge deal with the growing population.  Being so concerned about her looks, a girl will stop eating or remove what she has eaten to get or stay skinny.  We can agree that anorexic and bulimic girls are just lacking in self-esteem as they think that because their favorite magazine promoted a certain look that they have to have it too because this is what is considered beautiful. 

Looks may help base your first impression on someone, but actually getting to know them opens your eyes to their innermost beauty.  The qualities people have and their willingness to share them with those that open their hearts to them.  This kind of beauty is only given to the people that take the time to look for it.  This moral aspect of beauty is standing on the foundation that society, our peers, and the media has built.  The lives we have lived because of those who have influenced us the most.  Every day we struggle with society’s judgments and criticism of our appearance or even our attitude.  But when we confidently strut the main streets, we can remember that no one person can place label on beauty.  So we need not to worry about what others may think of us, because in the end no one can really give us the exact definition or the perfect look for life’s runway.  

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Eight -

 How to Get a Man

Every girl’s dream is to have the perfect companion.  The guy who will throw rocks at your window, asking if you can go out because he wants to spend so much time with you or the guy who will call you up at two o’clock in the morning just to say, “I love you.”  You always imagine about your fantasy date of strolling on the beach, with sand between your toes and interlocked fingers will a faceless dream guy.  In order to have the mind-blowing fairytale you have always wanted, you must first be able to acquire the perfect man.  Most people believe that a task like this can be tremendously difficult, but done properly it can be accomplished swiftly and effectively. In fact, just a few basic procedures will get you the perfect man.

The first step of this process is actually quite simple; get his attention.  Initiating a conversation is only half the battle. Starting up a conversation with a person is the key to slowly getting him on the track to asking you on a date.  On another note, it is extremely effective to make frequent eye contact with your man.  Let him catch you staring once in a while and smile at every chance you get.  Your goal is to be fairly subtle, yet still make it obvious that you want his attention.  He can't fancy you if he doesn't know you exist.  Once you have succeeded in being noticed, you are ready for the next step.

Step two: Humor.  There is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who knows how to make him laugh.  Laughing is a casual form of communication.  When people don’t understand the language someone is speaking, they laugh.  When someone can’t hear what you are saying, they laugh, hoping it wasn’t a question.  Along with a humorous attitude, guys look for a girl who is noticeably poised, a girl who knows how to strut her stuff.  This means go out looking overly outspoken, obnoxious, and flamboyant; emphasis every move.  Don't put up a tough exterior to get over shyness.  This certain confidence requires a lot of self-esteem.

So here we have step three: Talking.  If you want someone to like you, you have to like yourself too.  When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you're not and "put on your best face".  There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression.  Just remember not to make such an impression that it will in turn repel men.  Instead show up bubblier than ever.  Talk a little too fast and mention everything that comes to mind to keep the conversation going.  Smile and blink a couple hundred times.  This definitely shows that you can brighten his day, any day.  To make an impression on your man, think conservative flirting.  Start with small talk, maybe add a wink or giggle here and there, and make it seem like you have an interesting life.  Cross your legs and twist your body at an angle so your man has a full image of your jaw-dropping curves even though you are sitting down. 

Step five: Body contact.  Learn to have a little fun with your man.  Every so often make some bodily contact because guys can often miss the little messages girls send through body language.  By doing this you will show him you like him enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel more comfortable making a few advances to you. 

Step six: The look.  Obviously your personality has no effect on swooping up your man, so your appearance has a big influence on his thoughts for you.  Now many people say that looks aren’t everything: In reality, your looks are everything, especially on your first date.  I mean wouldn’t you just love to date a guy who wears sweat pants and a tank top showing of his manly chest hair to your first date?  When it comes to choosing your outfit, choose a flirty, yet modest, blouse and throw on a pair of pants.  Wearing a skirt on your first date is just too much.  You might as well show up in a full bridal gown.  Hair is also important in this preparation stage of your date.  Leaving your hair down is absolutely the best way to go.  When you walk he can see your luscious hair swaying in sync with your hips. 

Lastly: Make a move.  Most people think that waiting for the other person to make the first move is the best route to go, but men actually like girls who take initiative.  Don’t be afraid to make the first move.  Show that you have the confidence to go and do something, breaking down that barrier, and show you can handle your own life.  There is nothing worse than having a girlfriend who whines all the time, more like a little sister than a girlfriend.

By now you should have your man hooked.  By understanding more about what men are looking for, the more you can concentrate on proving that you are better than any of their standards.  You are not just some random girl in desperate need for love; you are a woman with dignity waiting for Mr. Congeniality to come blow your mind away.  You’ve done your homework and are now the most beautiful, all-round girl any guy would want to get their hands on.  Remember that you are a wonderful girl, and you deserve the best guy possible.  But if all else fails, you always have the twenty you’ve been carrying in your wallet.

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Seven -

This is kind of a touchy subject; one because it is and has been a very big problem and two, it has affected me and many others I am sure have experienced this as well. Since the days where social hierarchy became the prime issue in society, people have been doing anything and everything they could to climb the ladder to the top only to realize that being on top is a lonely and pressured filled life. Trying to live up to social expectations and swamped by the desire to feel accepted and liked, by people who are trying equally if not harder to overrule you just the same. See when it comes to being the queen bee, top athlete, smartest and prettiest in all the land, being the best just doesn't cut it. So you have to tear down anyone who poses as a threat or enemy to you. Bullying. The act or acts of intentionally hurting another. Whether the physical hits to the verbal low blows, his psyche being slapped back and forth with blood running from his nose. The cuts on her wrist just weren't enough, so you kick and you scoff, smiling back, "life's tough." But what's so tough about bullying. I mean hey you do it well. Send me a message in an email marked GO TO HELL! You told me I was a bitch, a fake, that I was no better than you. That I hide behind a facade of innocence and smarts, but no of course not. That can't be me, unless it's the me that you tell me to be. So I'm labeled a fake, a liar, an excuse for a girl. Did that make you feel better? Having you and your friends threaten my inbox. It sounds so stupid when you read it out loud. The accusations made against me were typed loud and proud because somewhere behind the words on the screen, was a little truth in the lines that read "I don't know who you are, but I choose to be mean." Have the people in school believe that they never knew me. That I am a fraud and that you saw right through me. And while I put up a front and wore a smile everyday, as I drove home from school, I couldn't help but feel that what you said was true. Your words, although hidden behind the anon username, I know it was you smirking you're a fake and no one likes you so you might as well go. I turned my keys and my headlights and I signaled out of the parking lot. This could all end now. I drove a little bit faster to see if I could go faster that the tears that were streaming down my face. I almost didn't see the light post up ahead, as my vision was blurred from the thoughts in my head. I was so close to rushing straight through a wall, until I realized the extent of it all. The hurt that you caused was the result of a hurt that you felt. You had a bad day so you took your cards and you dealt. You dealt with it in a way that you knew you'd get approval, from the peers you call your friends cut and lash along with you. I will always and forever be an advocate against bullying. It is never ok to gain and laugh when someone else's life is a ruin. Instead can't we spread words of love and encouragement. Words that won't break down a person, but words that will build a nation.

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Six -

They tell us that the new generation is different from the rest; that this generation is doesn’t believe in following the traditional ways of love and relationships. They tell us that it is okay for the girl to woo the guy if he is too shy to make the first move. They tell us that Disney gave us misconceptions about the idea of true love and no one ever gets their “happily ever after.”

What happened to the old school love? I want my Prince Charming to come and swoop me off my feet and take me to my midnight ball; where I get to wear the prettiest gown and glass slippers with the guy every girl drools over. I don’t mean there needs to be fairy magic or any waving some magic wand to make someone fall in love with you. I still believe in wishing on a star, hoping you are staring into the same sky, at the same star, and one day we will come face to face and know everything is how it should be. I want to intertwine our fingers together as we walk down the street, knowing nothing could ever separate us. Some say it is silly to think this way; to think that I could ever achieve my happy ending in this society. I beg to differ. It may not be a conventional mindset for the time we live in, but it does not mean it is not possible.

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it is not boastful, it is not proud. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4 

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Five -

Transformation Tuesday. 

What is the whole deal with this. It has swept over social media as the comparison of one's appearance over time.  Two selfies. Oh look how I've changed.  It's inevitable that a person's looks are going to change over time.  Just a thought, what if we took that time to see how our character has changed over time and see how many "likes" you would get on that.

It is kind of sad to see how this immersion of the self has taken over.  While it is always good to share one's opinions and views, there is a fine line between being expressive and overly obnoxious "in your face," which I feel is what people are becoming now a days.  The more cuss words I can fit into a sentence the better.  You call them "sentence enhancers," I call them a lack of thought and vocabulary to really say how you feel. 

It is more about how fast I can talk and how loudly I laugh, than who can I talk to today that I haven't talked to in a while; and more than just the surface "How are you doing lately?" kind of talk but the deep, sincere talks that take time and effort.  The talks that spill over a few days because you have so much to share with one another.  The talks that have you ranting at 4 a.m. in the morning because you had an epiphany that the two of you have so much in common, why did it take until now just to notice? Those are the kinds of talks I like to have. Those are the kinds of relationships I want to develop. No more fake smiles and white lies to get through the day in one piece. Tell it how it really is, but without all the caked on deceptiveness to make people like you better.  

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Four -

Today's generation is one that has grown up believing that it is important to voice out your opinion, let people know exactly how you feel.  The sad reality is this generation has grown to become a crowd of trash talkers; and many behind the face of anonymity.

Yes it is definitely important that if you have issues with someone or something to SPEAK UP; but don't go off a rant with your friends about how you feel towards something and then strategically place a smile on your face when you return.  It just plain wrong.

Speak up, not out.

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Three -

Help me break these addictions

All these pains and afflictions

That hold a weight in my heart

Breaking me right from the start

I seem to have lost my way

Little lamb as gone astray but

Don’t go down that road again

Seek forgiveness for your sins.

He’s gonna bandage the damage

For only God has advantage

Over the guilt and the fear

The cage that’s holding you here

Soon it’ll you and me

Forever and eternity

Thank you Jesus for the sacrifice you made for me to be free.

  k.l.

[dreamcatcherbook]

- Chapter Two -

Every girl’s dream is to have the perfect companion.  The guy who will throw rocks at your window, asking if you can go out because he wants to spend so much time with you or the guy who will call you up at two o’clock in the morning just to say, “I love you.”  You always imagine about your fantasy date of strolling on the beach, with sand between your toes and interlocked fingers will a faceless dream guy.  In order to have the mind-blowing fairytale you have always wanted, you must first be able to acquire the perfect man.  Most people believe that a task like this can be tremendously difficult, but done properly it can be accomplished swiftly and effectively. In fact, just a few basic procedures will get you the perfect man.

The first step of this process is actually quite simple; get his attention.  Initiating a conversation is only half the battle. Starting up a conversation with a person is the key to slowly getting him on the track to asking you on a date.  On another note, it is extremely effective to make frequent eye contact with your man.  Let him catch you staring once in a while and smile at every chance you get.  Your goal is to be fairly subtle, yet still make it obvious that you want his attention.  He can’t fancy you if he doesn’t know you exist.  Once you have succeeded in being noticed, you are ready for the next step.

Step two: Humor.  There is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who knows how to make him laugh.  Laughing is a casual form of communication.  When people don’t understand the language someone is speaking, they laugh.  When someone can’t hear what you are saying, they laugh, hoping it wasn’t a question.  Along with a humorous attitude, guys look for a girl who is noticeably poised, a girl who knows how to strut her stuff.  This means go out looking overly outspoken, obnoxious, and flamboyant; emphasis every move.  Don’t put up a tough exterior to get over shyness.  This certain confidence requires a lot of self-esteem.

So here we have step three: Talking.  If you want someone to like you, you have to like yourself too.  When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you’re not and “put on your best face".  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression.  Just remember not to make such an impression that it will in turn repel men.  Instead show up bubblier than ever.  Talk a little too fast and mention everything that comes to mind to keep the conversation going.  Smile and blink a couple hundred times.  This definitely shows that you can brighten his day, any day.  To make an impression on your man, think conservative flirting.  Start with small talk, maybe add a wink or giggle here and there, and make it seem like you have an interesting life.  Cross your legs and twist your body at an angle so your man has a full image of your jaw-dropping curves even though you are sitting down. 

Step five: Body contact.  Learn to have a little fun with your man.  Every so often make some bodily contact because guys can often miss the little messages girls send through body language.  By doing this you will show him you like him enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel more comfortable making a few advances to you. 

Step six: The look.  Obviously your personality has no effect on swooping up your man, so your appearance has a big influence on his thoughts for you.  Now many people say that looks aren’t everything: In reality, your looks are everything, especially on your first date.  I mean wouldn’t you just love to date a guy who wears sweat pants and a tank top showing of his manly chest hair to your first date?  When it comes to choosing your outfit, choose a flirty, yet modest, blouse and throw on a pair of pants.  Wearing a skirt on your first date is just too much.  You might as well show up in a full bridal gown.  Hair is also important in this preparation stage of your date.  Leaving your hair down is absolutely the best way to go.  When you walk he can see your luscious hair swaying in sync with your hips. 

Lastly: Make a move.  Most people think that waiting for the other person to make the first move is the best route to go, but men actually like girls who take initiative.  Don’t be afraid to make the first move.  Show that you have the confidence to go and do something, breaking down that barrier, and show you can handle your own life.  There is nothing worse than having a girlfriend who whines all the time, more like a little sister than a girlfriend.

By now you should have your man hooked.  By understanding more about what men are looking for, the more you can concentrate on proving that you are better than any of their standards.  You are not just some random girl in desperate need for love; you are a woman with dignity waiting for Mr. Congeniality to come blow your mind away.  You’ve done your homework and are now the most beautiful, all-round girl any guy would want to get their hands on.  Remember that you are a wonderful girl, and you deserve the best guy possible.  But if all else fails, you always have the twenty you’ve been carrying in your wallet.