[unclefather]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[tereozil]

Laugh From Around The World In Messages.

From fb.

[i-am-a-fish]

[sameoldshit]

S T R E E T S M A R T S

[blairwitchh]

this was the best joke of the whole show tbh

[deanhoney-deactivated20220819]

That’s in the middle of the Civil War

[ddrvbiblgigb]

[garfield-baybee]

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

[king-archive-deactivated2018111]

i gotta suspicion everyone got a secret hoard of something they keep hidden from their friends let if its shoes and makeup or like teacups that shits fine and all but once i went to my buddy mikes house and like,, well i knew him for years since like fucking 2006, we talk non stop,used to be my bff of the year and what not, ya whatever, i hop to get something from his basement once and i turn on the light and its littered with not a handful, but at least 20 hand made dollhouses with little trees and paint jobs and everything made from wood he harvested from his fathers construction company, all he missing is furniture and little people like FUCK that fucked me up so bad, but thats not the point of my story here see, it didnt fuck w me as much as after i visited my not so much anymore freinds house in 10th grade and she had a collection of her friends hair and she asked me for a snippet becasue she never had blue before and i went home and blocked her number anyway she jsut messaged me on instagram 30 min ago and i had to like sit in my kitchen in the dark for a while jsut thinking about how scary it is to know people but not know them at all

[king-archive-deactivated2018111]

heres some pics cuz i actually i love his little houses they just took me by surprise cuz he aint seem like the type

[king-archive-deactivated2018111]

oh it aint me!!! i bitched to him that he got like 0 fucking people living in his fucking basement village so he was all, then fucking buy me some??

so i went on a miniture dollhouse website and bought him his first citizen and he laughed cuz it was this lil motherfucker

if u look closely hes the black dot in the first pic in front of the white house!!!

[neuroticgaymusings-deactivated2]

This is cute and I’m glad you were so supportive of something he was embarrassed of

[dnald]

this was like a quaint post and then it was a freaky post, and then it ended up being a sweet post. this rly took me on a journey, thank you.

[arkytiorlarn]

[anti-pedo-patrol]

Fucking stab that reblog button if you hate pedos

[panthergoddessbast]

Murder that reblog bitch

[rotfae]

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

[kermiehere]

Millineals Are Killing the Vampire Industry

[odin-n-out]

honestly the most unbelievable part of this is where millenials can afford to own homes

[cliffracer]

the second most unbelievable part of this is millenials answering their front doors for people they didnt know were coming over

[cheese24k]

Cat is very happy to see his owner after being 3 days alone.

[gryffindors-keeper]

“i demand to be loved”

[porterr-robinson]

[captainnotamurderer-deactivated]

How to make anything you do sound suspicious.

Be mostly specific.

I.e. “Yes. I bought this with legal, tender, money that was acquired legally.”

“I met with a friend who is alive.”

“I went to the still standing, not-burned home of my enemies.”

[captainnotamurderer-deactivated]

“I was in Wisconsin and 12 when Princess Diana and her lover Dodi Al-Fayed were killed in Paris. You can feel the T.V., it’s warm.”

[catchymemes]

[voreattorney]

[c3rvida3]

My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient,” before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.

[anotherpapercut]

press f to pay respects

[hairpoofs]

this is so sad alexa play what’s new pussycat