Sara's Dream Diary

A Place where dreams come true Sara | 23 | She/Her | Ted's Wife | Selfship Blog

[dreamspace24]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Introduction Post!

Dear Diary, I dreamt about them again today… ♡

Hello dear reader, I see you've found my diary blog! Let me give you a rundown of what I write here!: This is a place where I can discuss selfshipping, my f/os, support others who are part of the community, and more! It's really just a safe space for me to gush about all the characters I love and all the ways I love them. You can find my f/o list here (or here if carrds aren't your thing!)!

Check out my Other Blogs!: @fangirlanxiety74 - Main Blog @tedscanonwife - Selfship Shrine

I do NOT Interact With: -Basic DNI criteria -Proshippers + Variants and Neutrals -RPF Shippers -Terfs/Radfems/Radqueers -Anti-Objectum Folk -Anti-Endo Folk -Anti-Contradictory Labels -People who are Pro Israel

I may not be able to stop you from interacting with me, but that sure as hell won't stop me from blocking you and ignoring you. It's best you stay away.

!! FUCK OFF, THIS SPACE IS NOT SAFE FOR YOU !!

Tags used: -(💤) Sleep Talking: For whenever I just talk normally :3 -(📚✍️) Diary Entries: Rambles and diary-like writings about my f/os -(🎨✏️) Visual Entries: Drawings and fanfiction/drabbles about my f/os -(🎀💖) Dream Self: Content I make about my self-inserts -(🌈🎉) Dream Friends: Content I make about my OCs -(📫💌) You've Got Mail!: Asks I receive and any Ask Game questions/answers -(😽💗) Let's Get Together!: Reblogged Content of x Reader fics ft. My F/Os. -(⛅💭) Day Dreams: Reblogged content of f/o scenarios -(💡✨) Inspiration: Reblogged content of things to do with my f/os -(🎆🌟) Shapes in The Stars: Reblogged content of people's selfships -(🌱📸) Say Cheese!: Reblogged content of people's s/i's & OCs -(🧺🍪) All it Costs is Your Love: Reblogged content to celebrate selfshipping -(🍃🌀) I Fucking Love Air Conditioning: Reblogged content of silly posts

Other Tags used can be found here!

If you wanna ask me questions about my f/os, or my self-inserts, or anything of that sort, feel free to!

Thank you for reading!

[dreamspace24]

🐞 and 🐛 for you (any character you'd like!)🤭

Wahooo. Ty anon. This gush won't be... Happy, though? Idk. We'll see where my mind takes me on this.

. It is. An incredibly hard thing. To exist and selfship in a fandom. That's built on the foundation of a ship. To try and make friends with other fans where they all are in love with this ship. You cannot go anywhere without hearing about it's existence, or seeing it. Even blocking tags will do you no good because the majority of content involves the ship, and not everyone remembers to tag it.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this, and if you are someone who feels this way, struggling to selfship and find community in a fandom that holds up a ship like it's gospel, then my heart goes out to you, sincerely.

And obviously I mean this for nonsharers and selective sharers. I'm hoping that sharers don't experience this, cause it's not a fun experience.

But I say all of it to give context because like. That's kind of how it feels selfshipping with Paul. I've been shipping with him for almost a year (It'll be a year end of August). And I love him, a lot. I love him as a character, I love him as a person, I think he's great and he makes me happy but he also. Is the source for a lot of my insecurities. To the point where the majority of what I think of/write for Out of Tune is. Centered around how insecure I am.

And the worst part is I can't solve it by hating the other ship. I can't like make someone out as the bad guy or roll my eyes or anything. Because Paulkins is a beautiful ship, it's a beautiful love story and it's many people's first introduction into Hatchetfield and even Starkid, and I love Emma as well as a character and person, just. Not in the same way I love Paul.

But she loves him the way I love him. And that's where I get insecure. Because I know, end of day, he'd choose her. And no amount of self-reassurance I can give myself will deny this fact.

Obviously this seems stupid from an outsider perspective. They're characters, it's all fictional, I can do what I want and decide what I want. And yeah I can, but that doesn't get rid of the feeling. That doesn't make the insecurity go away, it just. Denies it's there. Feelings don't care about facts just as much as facts don't care about feelings. I can remind myself how fictional they are til my head is blue and instead of feeling comforted, I just feel more alone and upset.

(It also doesn't help that, in source, it is practically said to the audience he would not go after a girl like me. I'm loud, dramatic, sensitive. I feel too much and cry too easily. I'm not good at being honest. The core of my identity is something he loathes. And I am a canon-compliant type of person.)

So what do you do with an f/o who you love dearly but is the source of something that makes you, unhappy? How do you change it up so that it does make you happy? I don't know yet.

But I love Paul, a lot. I love the way he cares for his friends in small gestures. I love how he protects them without having to make it some grand declamation until he's forced to. I love his honesty, and his patience with the people around him. I love how awkward he is. How he tries. I love how he can see past all the BS, how he can look deeper than the surface and encourages others to do the same. My heart hurts for him, to watch him deny his own basic wants, because I perfectly understand that. I deny my own wanting of him so he can be happy with another girl.

I try hard to picture us happy and in love. It's usually. Vague. Not always, sometimes I have moments of seeing it clearly but it's short-lived. Usually what I see is just this... Painful disconnection. Distance. Something between us is lost in translation and I don't know how to. Fix it.

But I still want to try cause isn't that just, what you do for people you love? You try? Even when they don't love you back?

I apologize this isn't happy, even if I said above it wouldn't be. I think this is a good reminder my selfships are *not* happy 24/7. I feel a lot of emotions, and I feel them intensely. And I'm also quite cynical/paranoid. As much as I'd like to not be.

If you're looking for cute fluffy sweetness all the time always this isn't the blog. And I apologize if you thought it was.

Ask game here for anyone interested.

[dreamspace24]

🚪, 🍰 and 💢 for any/all of the f/o's you've mentioned on the reblog!! ^-^ (sorry I'm not familiar with them pfft)

— @lovely-maymay

Can you tell I'm bad at answering anything in my inbox by answering months late. Anyway, thank you!! Spitfire and MCBC time :D!

🚪: Do they knock before getting in your room? And do they close the door once they leave?

Absolutely not lol. Technically, neither of them *have* rooms of their own. They live in what can only be best described, for anyone who doesn't know the show, as a trailer. Or one of those cars that has a lounge area and place for you to sleep.

But even when they did live together, no, knocking was rare and only happened if they assumed the other was changing. Otherwise? Spitfire and MCBC are both assholes, and tend to barge in like they own the place, annoying the other with their presence and attitude.

🍰 : Who’s most likely to push the other’s face into a cake?

Spitfire HAHAHA. MCBC takes it well when things like this happen, so she knows she could and the most he'd do is dramatically yell at her like he does when she's doing other things that annoy him. If MCBC shoved Spitfire's face in a cake? He'd get hit for ruining her hair.

💢 : Who’s the ragebaiter and who’s the ragebaited?

Spitfire's favorite past time is ragebaiting MCBC, but tbh, they can go either way. MCBC does it on accident more often than not, but he still does it.

Ask game here for anyone interested!

[sweettoothselfships]

📸 Self-Ship Photo Scavenger Hunt! 🎞

The idea of this is to appreciate little details/moments of your f/o! This works best with live-action F/O’s but any visual media is ok! Askers send you an F/O and an emoji and you have to…

👁 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s eye/eyes!

🗣 Post a screenshot of your f/o in profile/side view!

👄 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s mouth!

🤚 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s hand(s)!

🥺 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re emotional.

🎉 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re smiling/laughing/having a good time.

🕴Post a screenshot of your f/o small in the distance/the background of a shot.

👞 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s shoes.

👔 Post a screenshot of your f/o in a different outfit than usual.

🤪 Post a screenshot of your f/o making a silly face.

🏃 Post a screenshot of your f/o on the move.

✏️ Post a screenshot of your f/o doing their job.

🔥 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking tough.

🌸 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking cute.

😳 Post a screenshot of your f/o that flusters you.

❓ Post a weird/funny/confusing screenshot of your f/o with no context.

As a bonus, gush about the screenshot in the caption (you know you want to) - and please practice inbox karma if you can 😌

[dreamspace24]

Updated my f/o list ✌️

[dreamspace24]

RAHHH hi hruuu

Losing my mind over this post bro. They don't even go here. WHAT are they yapping about. What did us Ted lovers do to personally get us thrown under the bus like that.

I'm not even mad I'm just so caught off guard I can't help but make a big deal out of it LMAO

HRUUU <333

[dreamspace24]

I usually wouldn't post but this is the funniest fucking thing. I like to check Ted's tag for time to time just to see if there's new art of him.

Tell me why I'm seeing someone judging a Ted nonsharer and being all "Well he'd cheat on you" like... AND THEY SOUNDED SO SERIOUS LIKE GIRL 😭 I CAAAAAN'T.'

It wasn't even about me I'm pretty sure but damn to that Ted nonsharer out there who was getting vague posted, idk who the hell you are, but you didn't deserve that. Sending my support via carrier pigeon so we can stay as far away from each other as possible. That was an insane thing to read

"He's canonically unfaithful" To YOU. He's obsessed with me. AND ALSO HE'S FICTIONAL SO WHO CAAAAARES OMGGGG

I shouldn't care this much either but that's my husband we're past the point of "I shouldn't care this much" LMAO.

[rollforshortcake]

Hyperfem selfshippers who are constantly pushed to the side for their more masculine counterparts, I see you.

You are infact not too girly for your f/o. They LOVE how unabashedly feminine you are. They love that you like pink, bows, lace, ribbon.

They would collect them for you and fashion you little barettes out of their collected material. They’d add little charms too, perhaps ones that remind you of them so you’re always carrying a little piece of them around with you wherever you go.

Your f/o would never undermine your intelligence because you like a little skirt. Because you like to smell of whipped cream or strawberry tarts. Because you like a lash that would make you flutter away. They know you are incredibly smart. That you study hard, and are capable of great things.

They don’t treat you like an airhead or like a lesser alternative because of how you dress, what you like, and the softness in your edges.

Your f/o helps you attach ribbons to your hair and handbag, they are always sending you posts of bunnies or fawn with a “wow look baby, it’s you!”

They glare at the people who imply you are lesser. Dumber. Unworthy. Your f/o would not let anyone even insinuate that, wouldn’t dare let them go about treating you with such disrespect while saying that they love your f/o!

Your gentleness, your sweetness, your kindness and grace, they are all part of what your f/o loves about you, despite what others may say. 🩷

A rough few days reckoning with the realisation that I am treated the way I am by some other selfshippers because they see my softness as a weakness. But Chance loves it, I know he does

𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖽 @/𝖿𝖾𝗂𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗈 for dividers

[dreamspace24]

Sorry this is kinda venty but it's my birthday so who cares lol. I was originally gonna post something cute for my birthday that I wrote about my f/os and then I realized no one gaf about writers, especially if you're not very popular or not writing an x reader, so uhhh

Idk if I even want to post on this blog anymore like what do I get out of it. One like?? I enjoy selfshipping, I don't enjoy posting and receiving nothing back. Like. Idk if it's just me, but if I wanted. Crickets! I wouldn't have a blogTM or post my stuff on hereTM yk??

Anyway sucky day to be a writer and not an artist, or a talented artist, so I guess I'm just fucked and for all I know this might be my last post lol. If u read this and can relate I'm so sorry 😭

Happy birthday to meeee.

[gakutonin]

can u guys rb with something u rly want to say abt prev

[gakutonin]

can u guys rb with something u rly want to say abt prev

[fetcheshatchetboxes]

May I ask, for a Paul Matthews userbox, for a nonsharing Paul yume <3

- @dreamspace24

Of course, here you go! I hope these are to your liking!! If you want any specific term, sentence, or image; just send it in! :D

[starkid-polls]

Do you yumeship with any Hatchetfield characters?

Yes

No

I don't yumeship, but I do have a crush on a Hatchetfield character

I don't with a Hatchetfield character, but a character from another Starkid show

Voting ended onApr 21

[dreamspace24]

"... Are you fucking stupid?"

｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・✦ ｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・

·˚ ➸ Name: Sara Alvarez ·˚ ➸ Nicknames: Spitfire

·˚ ➸ Gender: Female ·˚ ➸ Pronouns: She/Her

·˚ ➸ Height: 4'10" ·˚ ➸ Weight: 110lbs ·˚ ➸ Eyes: Scary

｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・✦ ｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・

·˚ ➸ Personality: The youngest, and the newest, of the Bats. While Spitfire claims she’s not part of the “Band of Idiots” (her words), the fact that she’s always following them around makes fans and citizens alike wonder otherwise. Being their graphic designer also doesn’t help.

She’s a hot-headed girl with an attitude, a killer glare, and a knack for trouble. She struggles with anything that involves her having to be social or polite, but her dedication to justice and loyalty to her friends makes up for it. She also has a particular disdain for liars. ·˚ ➸ Strength Level: Like a glass canon. The weakest of the bats, but if she's going down? She'll take you down with her. ·˚ ➸ Known Powers: Ability to summon and control fire, Fire-resistant, Looks that can kill. ·˚ ➸ Weapons: Pocket Knives. 2 specifically.

｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・✦ ｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・

·˚ ➸ Theme Song: "Small Dog Syndrome" by Sprout Haven ·˚ ➸ Voice Claim: Sato's English Dub from Danganronpa 3: Despair Arc

｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・✦ ｡･:*:・✧,｡･:*:・

"Whatever... You're the worst."

Got bored and impatient. I wanted to wait until I could get a comm of her, but oh well. Hello Aquabats fandom, I present my OC: Shadow The Hedgehog, but in Aquabats.

Or better yet, "What if the Aquabats were allowed to swear."

As you can see, this is Spitfire. She's not a cadet, nor an official bat. No! She's a secret third thing (The commander's younger sister. Horrid.), and while she'd love to get rid of these guys, they've held her hostage. So she's stuck. Oh well!

I hope you like the little google slide I made, I wanted to reference the official profiles that the Aquabats had on the band (Shoutout moot who found them for me to reference), cause it'd be silly to me. I'll show the references under the cut as well.

If you'd like to know more about her, please ask! Send me asks! Or comment/ask in reblogs! Idk, I love her, I'd love to talk about her!

Yeah :3

Here are the references in question!! This is what I was trying to copy with Spitfire's profile!! YA :D

[strawbeaniie]

Reblog with you and your f/o , oc x canon, tell me yalls dynamic and ill give em a quick sketch of doodle !!

[dreamspace24]

Hehe hope this is still open!! If not nws!! Just thought I'd do this for wedding day :3

Ted and Sara's (I's) dynamic can be put in simple terms as grumpy x sunshine, but there's a lot of nuance and complications to that. I tend to describe them as Orpheus (Sara) and Eurydice (Ted). Especially the version of them from the musical Hadestown.

They've both lived similar lives and have similar thought processes, beliefs, ideals, but the way those things shaped them is drastically different and it fascinates me. And the worst part is how alone they both feel, and the best is how that loneliness goes away when around each other. Just two people trying to survive together and have something for themselves.

Idk. I love him.

[dreamspace24]

Her Vows

A/N: This is the 2nd post I am making about Ted and I's wedding day. Unfortunately, I don't have his vows written. It doesn't feel right, to write them? I'd love to commission someone to write them for me, perhaps... Idk, if any of you have anyone to suggest who I could commission to write his vows, please lmk! I'd happily pay and have a bunch of references to give! I hope you enjoy! Proship + Variants DNI.

My Dearest Heart,

I'm afraid I'm not sure where to even begin with this. There's so much I could say to you, and so much I want to tell you, but all the words in the universe would not be enough to equal the love I feel for you.

While I won't lie and say it was love at first sight, I believe the fact that it took time for us to fall for each other is more meaningful. A slow, gradual love, where we take our time to really see each other, will always mean more to me than a love where you rush in, head-first.

If I were to look back and pinpoint a moment where I first felt love for you… It would be when you showed your true feelings to me.

I'm not talking about your feelings of romance. It wasn't your happy, smiling face that made me feel love. It was your intense, raw, painful emotions that did it. The moment where you opened up to me. You took the time to really, truly describe how you felt. How you thought. And what that all meant to you. At that moment, I fell in love… Because at that moment, I understood you. And I realized, how similar the two of us really are.

I don't want us to lose those moments. The moments where we can be our true, honest selves. As much as I enjoy the times where we're all soft and loving with one another, I know they can't last forever. And I don't want them to.

I don't just promise to be there on your worst days, I want to be there on your worst days. I want to be there to be the shoulder you lean on when you cry. To listen when you need someone to hear you. To be the rock in your storm, and light that shines through your rain. I want to be there to catch you when you fall, and to help lift you back up.

Yes, I will always be there for your best moments. But I want to be there for your worst, as well. Because I don't just love you as you pretend to be. I love who you truly are, as well. And I always will.

You don't have to hide from me. You don't have to run from me.

I will always be here, with open arms, for as long as you'll have me.

That, I promise.

°❀.࿔ @sheepie-self-ships ❀ @redstainedstars ❀ @cupid-selfships ❀ @theoptimisticmisanthrope ❀ @strawbeaniie ❀ @selfship-writer-support

Want to be added to the tag list? Comment here!

[dreamspace24]

To Live in The Moment

A/N: So today is my official wedding day with Ted. Except, I have to work today, and I won't get any free time to actually enjoy it until Sunday. But I thought I would at least post a couple of things for the celebration, rather than. Go dead silent. On my own wedding day. This is one of the two posts I will make. If you're reading this, you're invited to the wedding! Maybe send a "happy wedding day" to Ted and I, if you want? Thank you, and I hope you enjoy! Proship + Variants DNI.

Weddings were supposed to be stressful events. She had never attended one herself (not since she was a small child, anyway), but the stories she heard made her keenly aware of this fact. Still, couldn't an exception be made for a wedding being hosted in Heaven?

Apparently not.

Sara had been pacing the room back and forth, trying to think of anything else she might have missed. She had her bouquet, she had her vows written, her wedding outfit was a sight to behold; soft whites and golds, flowers braided into her hair, the veil sitting perfectly on her head. Still, she couldn't help the feeling that something was missing. Something was out of place.

It was driving her insane. She kept checking the room, trying to find anything out of place. But nothing was. But something had to be, right? Because if not, why couldn't she shake the feelings off?

With an exasperated sigh, she fell into an armchair nearby and placed her face in her hands. This was awful. It was going awful already, and she hadn't even stepped out.

It just felt so… Overwhelming. Actually being here, in the moment, instead of it being some far-off idea that would never come. They had kept pushing the date, kept talking around it. They weren't ready, even if they were engaged. And it made her wonder if they should have even gotten engaged so fast.

Yes, they had known each other for so long. 109 years. Longer than that now, even. But time itself wasn't a concept Heaven needed, so time simply became… The moments themselves, rather than a number. Still. They had only started dating the last few of those 109 years. Then, as soon as they both died, he proposed. And of course she said yes, because how could she not say yes?

But did she really mean yes?

... She reached over for the vows sitting on the table, and carefully opened the paper up.

She read through the words. The promises she made to Ted. The emotions she poured onto the paper; of her love and admiration for him, of her wish for the life they should have had, and the happiness for the one they lived in now. She read of her love for him.

And slowly, her worries faded. The questions stopped coming, and what was left was… Peace. Nerves for seeing him at the end of the aisle, but that was more about how she might just cry seeing him than wanting to run.

With gentle hands, she stood up once more with the vows and picked up her bouquet. She tucked her vows carefully into the flowers, making sure it was well-hidden enough to not look out of place. Then, she held the bouquet in her arms and turned to the mirror.

She studied herself once more. Her hair, her dress, her makeup, her bouquet…

She looked like a real bride.

A bride, who in just a few moments, would be married to the love of her life. The one she waited forever for. The one who followed after her to this Heaven, because Heaven would otherwise not be the same without him.

A soft knock at the door drew her attention, and a voice followed with it, "Sara? It's time. Let's go."

She stared at that door for a simple moment. Then took a deep breath and smiled brightly, walking over to turn the knob and step out. The door closed behind her with a soft click.

And off she went to live in a new moment.

°❀.࿔ @sheepie-self-ships ❀ @redstainedstars ❀ @cupid-selfships ❀ @theoptimisticmisanthrope ❀ @strawbeaniie ❀ @selfship-writer-support

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