🍓

^_^

[dreamytrans]

Things that have happened to me in the last 24 hours

>severe thunderstorm blew in while i was cooking dinner and I watched as the giant tree directly next to my kitchen window was uprooted and crashed down onto the car parked adjacent to it. The spot where I normally park my car and chose not to last night for no particular reason

>I have completely bled through my underwear at work

>I have pretty much given up on finding another apartment. I will resign myself to losing one of the most important people in my life and trying to make it work with the other.

[soleilinfini]

mary oliver, staying alive

[dreamytrans]

I keep thinking that picking singleness is the cowards way out. Is the soft let down. Is the no body gets anything they want and is equally miserable answer. Is that true? I dont know. I suppose I wouldn't know until I tried. Right now I am wishing that I could just be with Izzy but. It is just a feeling. These things pass. The material circumstances of my life? That is a different thing. I dont want to have to leave this place. A fact. I love living here. It would be more expensive to move out. I dont know that it would be worth it. I think I should speak honestly to titania about feeling conflicted and sad and scared. Ill ask michelle what she thinks before I do. And I wont lie. I wont lie.

[free-my-mindd]

[petaltexturedskies]

One day you’ll have whatever it is you’re now so confusedly seeking. That kind of calm that comes from knowing oneself and others. But you can’t rush the arrival of that state of mind. There are things you only learn when no one teaches them. And that’s how it is with life. There’s even more beauty in discovering it for yourself, in spite of the suffering.

Clarice Lispector, from “Gertrudes asks for advice” in The Complete Stories

[slipng]

[taohun]

did you guys see the poem from a couple of days ago in poetry dot org’s daily poem it was so good and a treat to read 

[taohun]

been thinking about it since i read it 

[letterful]

[weltenwellen]

Goatsong Leila Chatti

[prophetic-memory]

Mary Oliver, "Flare"

[dreamytrans]

Want to sit and cry and cry and cry and cry

[d-135am]

[firstfullmoon]

Kim Addonizio, “Prayer”

[cocteautwinsgirl]

my dreams are telling me that i need bi dick

[cocteautwinsgirl]

my real life is telling me that i need bi dick

[dreamytrans]

it is sort of funny in a long view way that my recent mental emotional anguish is entirely due to me having too much love in my life. Like i have two different people who love me and want to be with me and who I love and want to be with. And the problem is that I cant be with both of them anymore even though I was for a time. I have to pick. And I kind of already know who Id choose but that would mean completely uprooting my life and moving back to florida. So its like. A bit complicated. And also i love my person I have here and I dont want to hurt her. But I also feel like I can't be truly happy with her either. But being with her is also wonderful and represents a stability and calmness that ive had for five years now. A safety. An easy safe choice. And being single would be incredibly hard financially right now and also sad when. I have people in my life who ACTIVELY WANT ME and who i also want 😭 anyway. Love triangles suck and poly is awesome when it works and deeply deeply heartbreaking when it doesnt work. And you should be prepared for that if youre gonna do it.

[dreamytrans]

Im really likeeeee.............................i should just pick a direction and start walking. Atp. Truly.

[achillesinhighheels]

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell