We Come In Peace

"I was first in my class at Princeton. I have an IQ of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his 'Brief History of Time'... from my fourth grade paper."

[merry-go-round-jailhouse]

[literaryreference]

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

[drenchedinstardust18]

[making-a-ru]

[cloudthesamoyed]

[tomfletcherscats]

i love when my preschoolers pretend to be talking on the phone bc if u leave them to their own devices and observe they just start saying things they’ve heard adults say into the phone like “hello i have an appointment, i’d like some rice”

[nevaehtyler]

Frame this

[lissanaria-deactivated20220607]

Welp.

[ostolero]

Most common life mistakes:

hurtling with reckless abandon

[fckin-deactivated20171107]

i love dominant men but at the same time if a man tells me what to do i’ll bodyslam him

[80sanime]

[addelburgh]

[weloveshortvideos]

[bandtshirt]

communication is the foundation

[dippedgaming]

Where are they going? What are they saying?

[baearth]

I don’t even care they just sound so beautiful

[00000000000000000001111-deactiv]

mood

[knockoffs-and-bootlegs]

[joshpeck]

No, thank you, President Pitbull.

[humansofnewyork]

[hypersexualsportswear]

[krollshow]