down the river

it/its collectively. adult. vent blog. content warnings in pinned post.

[drifting-bones]

Welcome.

This is a vent blog for several members of an anonymous system. We all use aliases on this sideblog. Don’t ask for any more information than you are given, interaction with ANY of our posts is not only allowed but encouraged. We have several mental illnesses on top of our DID, but some that will be mentioned often are BPD, NPD, PPD, and depression.

Content warnings: mentions of s/h and su1c1d3, h0m1c1dal ideation, descriptions of violence, obsessive thoughts, yancore, childhood trauma, delusional thoughts, and internalized ableism/sanism.

Every member’s post will be tagged as (name).txt

Members:

Doll - he/it

Cannon - she/it/they

Owl - it/he/rot

Poem - she/it/love/they

Devil - he/any

Destroya - they/it/ze/he/gore

Abyss - they/she/he

Crutch - it/he/she

Kurukuru - it/that/they

[heartattackinblackdye]

(bloodstained and bruised) how am i? im pretty good just a little tired

[brume-photos]

[mistermachoman]

the worst part about moodswings are when i know i'm being irrational over something so i have to sit there and seethe.

[midnightglances]

no it’s fine, it’s just that being vulnerable is scary and disgusting and makes me want to die haha lol so funny am I right?

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

can you do me a lil favor if someone cares about you please just let them. please

[dorianbrightmusic]

it’s not just the fact that time is always getting shorter - that for all you know, a good friend could get hit by a car, or your dog could suddenly stop eating and pass away in just a week or two - but also that depression makes it so hard to value the time we’ve got. You can love someone so much and still find that all the care in your body is on the other side of the room. That you care for them but all your emotions are staring back at you in the distance. That you love and your can’t summon the will to hang out or the emotion to feel regret. You know you regret, and you know you should reach out, and that they’re probably lonely, and that you could do something. But you know it intellectually - when you try to make yourself do something about it, your body is too heavy with exhaustion for you to be able to feel at all

[ruhaniya]

[2cruel4us]

[thetomorrowshow]

hate this aspect of ocd

[nightlongnight]

Main character syndrome? I think I actually have minor character syndrome: irrelevant, unecessary and dismissable. Only existing while other people do things that are more important.

[jaded-but-softening]

[omar-little]

how was the destroying and betraying yourself for nothing was the destroying and betraying yourself for nothing fun? it didn't look fun

[drifting-bones]

i hate people and i hate work and i hate school and i hate my brain and my body and i wish it would all stop being so bad for five fucking seconds so i could catch my breath but no. it used to be a silly joke. "haha, the grind never stops." but it never stops and i can't get out because it would be like jumping out of a car barrelling down the highway. i don't think i'll ever get to stop and rest until it's too late.

[tothechaos]

[in the notes app] there is an ancient evil inside of me and it will devour anyone who gets too close to me whole

[30 seconds later in the group chat] OMGGGGG if we were pigeons we would absolutely make a nest together #ournest

[nightlongnight]

Do you ever just cry in frustration because you feel there's something wrong with you no matter how much you try to fix it?

[kuunibal]