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*Dramione Audiobooks:
The Fallout Audiobook by everythursday
The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy Audiobook by Speechwriter
Choice and Chance Audiobook by chaosandcrumpets
Remain Nameless Audiobook by @heyjude19-writing
Wait and Hope Audiobook by @mightbewriting
The Auction Audiobook by @lovesbitca8
Bring Him to His Knees Audiobook by musyc (@willhavetheirtrinkets)
Love in a Time of the Zombie Apocalypse by @rizzlewrites
*Reylo Adudiobooks:
Proposal by Any Other Name audiobook by @lucidlucy
Conscience and Unconsciousness audiobook by pontmercy44
World in my Eyes by sasstasticmad (@mygrandmathinksimsassy) Audiobook coming Spring 2024!
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An ever growing list of Wizarding Podfics/audiobooks/audiofics from different creators can be found here! The listings specify title, creator author, ship, status, and whether or not it has been censored for content.
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Spreadsheet here !!
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Content: fluff, romance, fun, snape x reader, Snape x Lucius x reader.
Warnings: Lucius, the reader and Severus are only 1 year apart.
(A little mention of the Snucius to the happiness of my very dear friend @sevsnapes 🖤💚)
Wonderful drawing by my dear friend @maphy-art 💖
A few months ago, Albus called you to Hogwarts to be Minerva's assistant for his Transfiguration classes.
You are proud and fulfilled for this achievement after years of study and research.
Besides the excitement of holding this prestigious position you were excited because you knew you would see him again.
Severus Snape.
Your ex-boyfriend.
You had gotten together in the sixth year and at the end of the seventh he had the bright idea of leaving you for his dreams of glory.
You had hated him with all your heart, but with time you realized that he was simply a boy mistreated by life and was looking for power to redeem himself.
Over time the anger you felt toward him had replaced itself in a feeling of deep bitterness; your love had not been enough to fill the empty spaces in his heart and soul.
You learned to live with it.
Some stories were not meant to weather the storms of life.
You walk with some seventh-year Slytherin students conversing pleasantly.
At that moment you notice Severus walking with numerous scrolls in his hand.
You smile cordially at him with a nod and he returns the hurried greeting.
"Professor, my father Lucius told me that you and Professor Snape were very close as students." Draco Malfoy's voice hits you and makes you blush completely.
Oh dear old Lucius.
A companion of fun adventures in school days, they had often indulged in the fun and lust of a good threesome.
Your memories fly to a specific evening.
Lucius is a senior while you and Severus are in the sixth year.
It is late at night you are laughing and joking with some fine Italian red wine that dear Lucius had had sent from his father.
You are lying comfortably on the couch, your head resting on Malfoy's legs while yours graze Severus's.
It's so comfortable that position as well as being ... strangely arousing.
"Enough talk, let's be quiet” Lucius smiles amused.
"What?" you ask spently.
Lucius stands up, holding you tightly by the waist and against the pillows.
"We deserve a little physical activity, don't you think Sev?" he turns to Snape and without being asked again he stands up with a smirk.
"I'd say so” Severus moves closer to Lucius' lips and they kiss intensely with burning passion.
You stare at the scene feeling the core throbbing.
"Hey..." you whisper to get his attention.
"Yeah, you're right baby. We are not gentlemen" Malfoy whispers against Severus' lips.
"You deserve the same torture." The blond doesn't let you escape. He quickly lifts your uniform skirt, slipping his fingers under the elastic of your briefs, at hip level.
You freeze.
He makes you lift your pelvis, undressing you to mid-thigh. He reaches for you with one hand between your legs. "I knew it."
You open your mouth wide excitedly.
He lets his fingers slide between your moist folds. "You couldn't have been immune. The vision of our kiss."
"Lucius..." you immediately plead with him.
Malfoy smiling in satisfaction gives a nod to Severus to come closer.
Meanwhile he settles behind you, stroking your hips.
"This is torture. If you talk, we stop touching you." Severus whispers.
You blink, incredulous.
Snape grabs you by the waist, dragging you over his legs, turned around, your back against his chest.
Your heart is in your throat.
Severus slips his hand under your skirt again, his fingers grazing your sex.
You cry out, mute.
Lucius with sensual step steps in front of your face and forces you to open your mouth.
You lick it fast.
Lucius's knees wobble. You hear him stifle gasps.
You suck, masterfully.
You feel Severus's mouth rest against your ear. "Not a moan."
You wiggle your hips, tensing toward his caress as you continue to suck Lucius's erection.
You release a thousand exclamations in your head. You never thought you'd hear him talk like this-Malfoy's lessons are having their effect-he never thought he'd-.
Severus penetrates you with two fingers.
"Aaa-gh."
Lucius snaps forward with his pelvis, a movement you're prepared for. You hold onto his hips.
"Ahh..." Lucius groans aloud in satisfaction.
At that sound you feel yourself getting wet between your legs. You open your jaw a little wider, preparing to handle the sensation.
You don't remember ever wanting a movement so badly, a rub - anything!
Resuming movement Severus was extremely cruel: maneuvering with his wrist, to move his free thumb over the turgid, erect relief at the top of your soggy folds.
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. Shake your hips, in a circle.
Ohh!
Severus kept the rhythm, indulging it.
His fingers, brutal, pushing in and out of your body, on repeat.
With your nails anchored in his forearms, you came disconcertingly.
It was the most stupendously violent orgasm you had ever experienced.
Dissolved against his body, languid, you allow your breathing to return.
Lucius gasps without warning, uncontrolled in your mouth. Satisfied, you suck him between your lips, not stopping massaging him with your tongue.
You open your eyes and enjoy the sight of him with his head bent back, toward the ceiling - your eyelids tight, for sure.
You let him out of your lips gracefully, giving him one last kiss after tasting every last drop that came out of his body.
As if a torture has ended,
Severus and Lucius release a quick sigh.
Snape hugs you from behind.
Lucius smiles sensually at you.
****
The harsh reality brings you back to the present.
"Your father as always jokes a little too much Draco. These are unfounded accusations. I'd advise you to hold your tongue if you don't want to spend your Saturday cleaning the cauldrons in my office” Severus whispers coldly, a slight smile rippling his fine lips.
You feel yourself burning with anger.
Deny their relationship in front of the students?
Lucius when he hears about it how much he will laugh?
The thought makes you alter you pass the students and Severus with quick step.
You head to the Great Hall for lunch and begin eating in absolute silence.
Your colleagues notice an aura of anger around you and intimidated they do not speak to you.
Severus takes his seat next to you and raises an eyebrow, staring at you.
"You've run like hell. What is it?" he asks curiously.
"What is it?" you stare at him and your brown eyes burn with anger.
"You denied our relationship in front of Draco Malfoy. You humiliated me in front of all our Severus Snape students. Fuck you!" You raise your tone of voice and your colleagues watch the scene silently and with a hint of curiosity.
"Oh, what's going on? Severus did you upset your old friend?" Albus smiles amusedly as he watches the two young professors grapple with their romantic quarrels.
"Yes Albus, Severus has gone into andropause and often forgets things” you smile sarcastically, a gift you learned just from your ex-boyfriend.
Severus clenches an angry fist "You… how dare you… in front of everyone!" he hisses ready to burst out in anger.
"Now you can understand how you can feel when you are ridiculed in front of everyone” you approach with a defiant face.
You exchange fiery glances and then it happened....
Your lips and tongues are exploring every inch of your mouth.
Passion has exploded again after years of torpor and melancholy.
Severus roughly caresses your cheek as he returns the attention with possession.
He exudes sensuality, virility and charm in that gesture.
Draco Malfoy from the Slytherin table shouts to his companions:
I’m going to start it pretty soon. I’m for some reason locked out of my student account and email and IT was no help as usual, so what is there to do except read a parody romance novel written specifically to spite J.K. Rowling?
Chuck Tingle has more or less become a meme because of his bizarre titles and covers and because of the Hugo fiasco, but I’ve heard relatively little about what it’s like to actually read his work and I frankly have no idea what to expect or if I should go into this with expectations at all
This book is...surprisingly easy to take seriously as a book. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. But it’s like. A Book and not just an extended joke. Like on some level it’s not particularly terribly written nor does the plot like, completely exist in service to the...whatever humor is derived from the self-aware absurdity of the premise
I love that he’s not even described as a humanoid dinosaur. He’s just sexy goth tattooed Severus snape and he’s also a parasaurolophus and we are left to just figure it out
I have to talk about what is going on with the worldbuilding. Like this is a parody. Of Harry Potter. But there’s an entirely different magic system and....everything???
In summary
there doesn’t appear to be a statute of secrecy type thing magic is just fully integrated with the modern world and modern technology
Harriet is a wizard, but that means that she creates spells by typing them out in long manuscripts, which on one level is a nod to the book publishing industry but on another level is kind of interesting in of itself
there’s a??? spellcasting industry??
there are different types of magic users other than wizards, and they appear to be based on the d&d classes
or at least, bards exist and they are distinct from wizard
the dinosaur is a bard
Bigfeet exist and they are integrated with modern society
there are sentient motorcycles and no one finds this in any way unusual
As much as I love skillfully crafted satire that takes deft jabs at the flaws of the thing it’s lampooning, there’s also something charming about how every character in this book has a name blatantly and hilariously derived from a Harry Potter character regardless of how most of their roles in the story barely resemble anything like characters in Harry Potter.
...You know, I’m not even sure Chuck Tingle has read Harry Potter.
I’m so sorry to sample the sex scene but. “sexualis secondus” just killed me. I have been pronounced dead by this book. im obliterated this is indescribable
I literally have no idea how to describe what I’m experiencing right now. Like this is a somewhat poorly edited parody adult dinosaur romance novel but. It’s genuinely?? Creative?? In a lot of ways???? And there’s a lot of heart to it, a lot of genuine powerful messages about identity and about art and creativity and the fourth-wall-breaking device is...I can’t explain it because that would spoil it but it’s actually pulled off so well?????
This is not like, a humorous joke story this guy did for Being a Little Shit and Spite reasons, it’s like actually in its themes and message a genuine “fuck you” to j.k. Rowling’s transphobia even though it’s this absolutely wild janky batshit story and I have never experienced anything like this in my LIFE
I did not expect my adhd little heart to be touched by understanding of my fears about creativity and writing and its place in my life. Not like this. What the fuck. What the fuck.
If you had shown me this site in 2005 I would have asked you if had checked your virus software lately, because this looks like a bad one. I would have clicked away so fast it would give you whiplash. Looking at these sites now, I have to convince myself that they aren't virus laden sites and fight against the pavlovian urge to just navigate away.
I navigate away anyways because fuck them, there's usually a better site (though they are dwindling quickly). I still can't get over how the internet "as intended" today looks like a malware ridden fever dream from 20 years ago. This is every story I've ever read about an empire that used to be great and has now fallen into turmoil.
It sparkles! I want to pass this one around my bookclub; the construction feels a little tighter than it has before. My binding #3: Draco Malfoy and the MortifyingOrdealof Being in Love by @isthisselfcare
I think it turned out well, only being my second ever. This is fun because I haven't read the story, so I get to experience in print for the first time! Also, how did my toe get in this picture?
ellievsbear
dailybridgerton
tangentwithtanner
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
