drpenpusher

Pen in one and scalpel in other hand 🩺

[drpenpusher]

You were right.

I remember that day.

I texted you…

And you never replied.

You said, “If someone wants you, they’ll text.”

I didn’t want to believe it.

Eleven seconds was all it took…

Yet I kept waiting.

That was the final push.

What was I waiting for?

Sometimes the answer comes…

When we finally stop making excuses.

[drpenpusher]

You buried us before we ever had the chance to exist,

calling it maturity,

calling it the right thing,

calling it “not wanting to complicate things.”

Perhaps it was easier to mourn a love you never claimed

than to fight for one that could have been yours.

[drpenpusher]

We were a chapter no one wanted written, but neither of us could stop reading.

[drpenpusher]

I failed to recognize you.

I’ve failed before — but never like this.

This time it cuts deeper,

because all I wanted was you,

so I chose to ignore every red flag you waved.

You hinted at your past,

and I pretended it didn’t matter —

because everyone has one.

Now I see all the shades clearly —

the soft warnings, the loud alarms —

and it hurts knowing

I saw them…

and still chose you.

[drpenpusher]

I broke a promise ring, and with it, a future drawn in gold,

Left home with silent courage, but the nights feel twice as cold.

A friend who once felt like safe light chose distance over truth,

We both hide trembling feelings behind the mask of youth.

I wait for an apology that may never find my door—

Learning that losing them is how I find myself once more. 🤍

[drpenpusher]

I want you — but I don’t need you anymore.

I understand that now, better than I ever did before.

The abandonment you gave me hurts more than I can even explain.

But what hurts even deeper is how easily you live with it —

as if it were nothing,

as if breaking me was just another ordinary day.

You let me grow attached to you,

you let me feel safe, wanted, chosen…

and when things became complicated,

you walked away —

ignoring the storm you created

like a professional at disappearing.

And that’s what shattered me the most —

not losing you,

but realizing how normal it was for you

to leave me.

[drpenpusher]

I know I'm no good for her.

If she feels like she's drowning I have no intention of saving her, I'd simply become the body of water she's sinking into. I'll become the anchor weighing her down so as long as I can have her. She's no good for me either, but I'm far worse than she could ever be. She sees good in me, she trusts me, and I won't abuse that kindness. But I'm not above encouraging her darkness. I want all of her. The light, the dark, the good and bad.

And if that means we drown together, then I'll learn to love the blue.

[drpenpusher]

Someday if there is a rain, think that I am there in the drops..

[drpenpusher]

I can wear anything you want or nothing if you want me.

[drpenpusher]

Whether I remain there or not, Just remain there somewhere in me.

[drpenpusher]

If you're with me, I'll mould to your habits.

[drpenpusher]

He gets to screw me inhumanely, while I get to love him madly.

[drpenpusher]

When I get the last sleep,

I wish you to keep coming in my dreams..

-Dr.pen_pusher

[drpenpusher]

I have learned to live only after dying for you.

-Dr.pen_pusher

[drpenpusher]

Once I desperately wanted you to become mine, I learned why people say to admire the moon from afar.

[drpenpusher]

Every night, he would come to me and remind me that I belonged to him.

-Dr.pen_pusher

[drpenpusher]

“I'm gon' ruin you,princess.”

Setting your hip between my thighs, you whisper so sensually that I didn't realise you were not talking about my body.

-Dr.pen_pusher