We can’t just say we don’t trust someone. We need to understand why trust is low. We need to ask for feedback to determine what we are doing or saying that is causing trust to be eroded. Productive conversations on Trust begin at the top of the Trust Triangle, asking if we “do what we say we will do.” From there, we explore each component, asking questions about the perspective of others.
For each component, we should seek understanding of specific situations, the behaviors that were demonstrated, and the resulting impact of those behaviors on the relationship. Conversely, we should use this same process when giving feedback to others using the Trust Triangle.
Consider the following questions when evaluating the trust you place in others, and the trust others place in you:
· Credibility – Have I been doing what I said I would do? When they say they are going to do something, do they follow through?
· Capability – Do I have the skills and abilities to meet the expectations set before me? Do they have the skills and abilities to meet my expectations?
· Capacity – Do I have the time, energy, and bandwidth to meet the expectations set before me? Do they have the time, energy, and bandwidth to meet the expectations I set for them?
· Clarity – Do I have a full understanding of the expectations set before me, including context and urgency? Have I effectively communicated my expectations for others, including context and urgency?
· Character – Am I bringing to the relationship the desire to positively influence, and do I expect the best from others? Do I believe they are showing an intent to positively influence and do the right thing in order to meet my expectations?
· Connection – Do I actively seek to understand others and build relationships founded on dignity, compassion, integrity, and respect? Do I create an environment where others feel connected to the mission, vision, and values of the team? Are my team members treating themselves and each other with dignity, compassion, integrity, and respect?
When we challenge ourselves to ask these tough questions, we create an opportunity to evaluate our own actions and behaviors and their impact on others. When we are willing to be vulnerable with others and ask them to answer these questions about us, we are given the opportunity to see ourselves from the perspective of others.
