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My Name is James Alemeda. I am here to keep an eye on my daughter @detective-luca-montoya and nothing more.
we're not kids anymore.

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@dsialameda
Info Post
My Name is James Alemeda. I am here to keep an eye on my daughter @detective-luca-montoya and nothing more.
I do love you, you know.
Even when you microwave eyeballs and call your spleen Apollo.
'Even when’ or ‘because of’? It makes a difference, sentimentally speaking.
Even when.
I do want you to stop microwaving body parts.
Why? Because it might one day save a life. Prove someone's innocence. Or, far more often, their guilt.
Have you met a serial killer yet who utilizes microwaves in their modus operandi? Just wondering...
No. Though the opportunity may still present itself.
I've already got a name in mind. The "Microwave Mangler"!
Please don’t preemptively name your cases, mija. It’s in poor taste and it only encourages them.
Definitely don't look through my journal, then...
You can’t see me but I’m facepalming because of you and I need more coffee again.
I do love you, you know.
Even when you microwave eyeballs and call your spleen Apollo.
'Even when’ or ‘because of’? It makes a difference, sentimentally speaking.
Even when.
I do want you to stop microwaving body parts.
Why? Because it might one day save a life. Prove someone's innocence. Or, far more often, their guilt.
Have you met a serial killer yet who utilizes microwaves in their modus operandi? Just wondering...
No. Though the opportunity may still present itself.
I've already got a name in mind. The "Microwave Mangler"!
Please don’t preemptively name your cases, mija. It’s in poor taste and it only encourages them.
I have received a THREAT to my husband's life! Whoever left his prosthetic foot at my office door, rest assured I will find you and you will rot in the depths of the darkest prison I can find!
Silva, call me IMMEDIATELY!
-G.O.
Oh fuck. Love, please calm down I’m already on my way to your office. Also you know you don’t have to call me by my last name since we are married.
Don't exchange private information over social media! They may be listening! -G.O.
You’ve been really out of the loop Director. I would suggest talking to your husband.
If anyone finds a disembodied foot in Pall Mall please contact me post haste. It’s a men’s size nine and it’s wearing a solid black Adidas trainer. -DCI Tomas Silva
Wait, Silva you LEFT it there? Awfully careless of you.
I know, I know. Trust me I will be getting in enough trouble about it later without you lecturing me, but in my defense I was a tad busy and distracted.
Too busy to remember a whole foot?
If anyone finds a disembodied foot in Pall Mall please contact me post haste. It’s a men’s size nine and it’s wearing a solid black Adidas trainer. -DCI Tomas Silva
Wait, Silva you LEFT it there? Awfully careless of you.
Do you guys remember that joke my father played awhile back?
Sherlock totally fell for it.
TwT
@artofdeductionbysholmes @johnhwatsonblog @ccjimmoriarty
… Remind me?
Gently.
he… he fell. he FELL for it…
Technically, he jumped.
you’re not fun.
I must agree with Jaime on this, John. You are no fun.
it is funny. they’re just in denial.
Humor is subjective, but for once, it is objective- that is quite funny. I believe it falls into the category of "dark humor". -K.O.
So if I made a joke about how I shot Dr. Watson with a gun-
We would have another lengthy family dispute about the company I keep and Sherlock would cut off your other arm.
Do not do that.
-K.O.
So it's only funny if Jaime does it?
You’re both boring as hell. It’s a PLAY ON WORDS.
I can also do that. For example, AHEM-
That shot was a real missed opportunity, I really jumped the gun. Really put me in Sherlock’s crosshairs. Maybe I should just bite the bullet!
Mija, please refrain from making jokes like this on the internet I can sense your lawyer having a heart attack from miles away
Woah wait who are you?
DSI James Almond. Luca’s Father.
Ah. Okay.
well. I don’t need a lawyer.
I was talking to her. Joking about your alleged crimes does not reflect well in a court of law. Although you do seem oddly jumpy. Care to confess anything? 🤨
Do you guys remember that joke my father played awhile back?
Sherlock totally fell for it.
TwT
@artofdeductionbysholmes @johnhwatsonblog @ccjimmoriarty
… Remind me?
Gently.
he… he fell. he FELL for it…
Technically, he jumped.
you’re not fun.
I must agree with Jaime on this, John. You are no fun.
it is funny. they’re just in denial.
Humor is subjective, but for once, it is objective- that is quite funny. I believe it falls into the category of "dark humor". -K.O.
So if I made a joke about how I shot Dr. Watson with a gun-
We would have another lengthy family dispute about the company I keep and Sherlock would cut off your other arm.
Do not do that.
-K.O.
So it's only funny if Jaime does it?
You’re both boring as hell. It’s a PLAY ON WORDS.
I can also do that. For example, AHEM-
That shot was a real missed opportunity, I really jumped the gun. Really put me in Sherlock’s crosshairs. Maybe I should just bite the bullet!
Mija, please refrain from making jokes like this on the internet I can sense your lawyer having a heart attack from miles away
Woah wait who are you?
DSI James Alameda. Luca’s Father.
Do you guys remember that joke my father played awhile back?
Sherlock totally fell for it.
TwT
@artofdeductionbysholmes @johnhwatsonblog @ccjimmoriarty
… Remind me?
Gently.
he… he fell. he FELL for it…
Technically, he jumped.
you’re not fun.
I must agree with Jaime on this, John. You are no fun.
it is funny. they’re just in denial.
Humor is subjective, but for once, it is objective- that is quite funny. I believe it falls into the category of "dark humor". -K.O.
So if I made a joke about how I shot Dr. Watson with a gun-
We would have another lengthy family dispute about the company I keep and Sherlock would cut off your other arm.
Do not do that.
-K.O.
So it's only funny if Jaime does it?
You’re both boring as hell. It’s a PLAY ON WORDS.
I can also do that. For example, AHEM-
That shot was a real missed opportunity, I really jumped the gun. Really put me in Sherlock’s crosshairs. Maybe I should just bite the bullet!
Mija, please refrain from making jokes like this on the internet I can sense your lawyer having a heart attack from miles away
So, still harbouring homicidal tendencies?
Concerningly, yes. I've managed to keep them under control for the time being, and I no longer have access to firearms, but I think it will take time for the compulsion to really go away. If it ever does.
Then you'd best stay as far from us John as possible. I assume you're securely contained, because I'd truly hate to find you at our door and be forced to deal with you permanently personally.
I'm not allowed to leave the house without an escort. Not that I'm in a hurry to get beaten up by a doctor again! Nice to know my wellbeing means so much to you.
Well, that's comforting.
When will the charges for attempted murder, assault, battery, and illegal firearm possession (and use) be officially brought against you?
You'll have to ask @dsialameda. He said something about coercion and lingering trauma. I wasn't really paying attention.
Ok.
@dsialameda See my question above.
All pending psychological evaluation. For battery and assault, those charges will have to be filed by your doctor friend. As for firearm possession, you are hardly one to talk. According to records, we have a backlog of complaints from neighbors reporting the sound of what appeared to be firearm discharges in your flat several times in the middle of the day. Quite frankly, I just don’t see a man with the trigger discipline of an army veteran, such as the good doctor, being so careless.
@detective-luca-montoya remains alive and well. Thank you Jacob for sending her the bag of candy up to the hospital room. It’s been effective in getting her to eat the hospital food.
I've been allowed to speak to you over the phone. Apparently I'm still "a security risk" and "prone to fits of violence". -L.M.
Ah, Luca.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slip into your room tonight and end you this myself, as payment for what you've done.
Why did you try to kill John? @johnhwatsonblog
1. @dsialameda hasn't left my room. I really wouldn't.
You betrayed her. I didn't have a choice. And I won't stop until I've put a bullet in John Watson's head.
Mr. Holmes may I remind you this is public record now and should anything happen to Luca Montoya I will hold you accountable in every possible manner at my disposal
Luca I think that’s enough internet for today.
You do realise that Luca just threatened the life of my — of John. Again. I intend to hold her accountable in every way available to me.
Do you think I’m illiterate or just ignorant? I can clearly see with my own eyes what she said and I can tell you now she is unwell.
I've been allowed to speak to you over the phone. Apparently I'm still "a security risk" and "prone to fits of violence". -L.M.
Ah, Luca.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slip into your room tonight and end you this myself, as payment for what you've done.
Why did you try to kill John? @johnhwatsonblog
1. @dsialameda hasn't left my room. I really wouldn't.
You betrayed her. I didn't have a choice. And I won't stop until I've put a bullet in John Watson's head.
Mr. Holmes may I remind you this is public record now and should anything happen to Luca Montoya I will hold you accountable in every possible manner at my disposal
Luca I think that’s enough internet for today.
@snakeob-duke Have you seen my gun? It's not in the safe. -K.O.
No? Who else has your combo?
Goodman, but I already asked him. Meg and Luca also I suppose, but they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn between them. -K.O.
I'm extrapolating the meaning from that GIF, but I don't see how it's a problem. Why would either of them take my gun when neither of them know how to use it? -K.O.
Allow me: Because Luca is impulsive and her with a gun and on a rampage is 10x worse
She's not on a rampage. She just went out to talk to Holmes. And what makes you think it's her, instead of Meg? -K.O.
Megan has more common sense
@snakeob-duke Have you seen my gun? It's not in the safe. -K.O.
No? Who else has your combo?
Goodman, but I already asked him. Meg and Luca also I suppose, but they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn between them. -K.O.
I'm extrapolating the meaning from that GIF, but I don't see how it's a problem. Why would either of them take my gun when neither of them know how to use it? -K.O.
Allow me: Because Luca is impulsive and her with a gun and on a rampage is 10x worse
Happy 38th birthday to my good friend Tomas. Maybe we can get drinks after work.
Missing Persons Incident Report
Crime Report
Case No.: 4829-5KID Date of Report: October 15, 2024 Reporting Officer: Detective James Alameda Victim: Luca Montoya (23) Suspect: Eurus Holmes Date of Incident: September 30, 2024 Time of Incident: ~12:00 AM Location of Incident: Outside AMESS Detective Agency, 13 Langford Lane, London, UK
An anonymous tip led law enforcement to her location? I figured out where she was held.
I’m going through my records- we also received an anonymous tip some time around when your own investigation correlated with her rescue. It seems that our culprit or some other unknown subject was either getting bored with her, or in a best, unlikely scenario was sympathetic. Either way, I fear we may have only been able to find her because we were allowed to, not because we were clever. I pray for your ego mister Holmes, that the tip in was not, in fact, due to her doubt in your abilities to find her on your own time.
@director-oshiro I would appreciate it if we could look put some resources into investigating the source of the call.
The riddle was indeed suspiciously easy to solve. Even New Scotland Yard could've figured it out.
Keep me updated on the anonymous caller, will you?
Of course Mr.Holmes and I would also be appreciative if you could send me anything about your sister that you find relevant to the case at hand