Remus is quite smitten with the new guy he's been dating, but as he clearly can't have nice things, he completely ruins it and now he can only wait for Sirius Black to break up with him. Sirius Black has a different interpretation.
âI called your father an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse!â
Sirius frowns, like he doesnât understand why Remus would consider that an issue. âMy father is an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse.â
Lily, my time has come. Please remember me fondly.
No, Lily. My life is genuinely over.
Remember that guy Iâve been dating?
Mmm, let me think. The tall, fit one with the long, soft, dark hair, pretty eyes and broad shoulders, whom youâve told me about approximately ten thousand times a day?
Yeah, I believe that does ring a bell.
Well, you can forget about him again.
Heâs on his way over here to dump me as we speak.
I met his parents yesterday...
Remmie! Thatâs a huge step!
I didnât know things were so serious between you two?
Things were seriously serious with Sirius!
Ah, but I gather from your first message it didnât go very well?
Oh, Remmie, youâre probably being too hard on yourself.
Itâs always stressful to meet the parents. Iâm sure theyâll understand if you were a bit awkward.
I called his father a narrow-minded bonehead whose imbecile opinions belong in the Middle Ages.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thatâs... Thatâs bad.
Because apparently Iâm an idiot who has a good thing going and just has to find a way to ruin it for himself.
He drove me home and it was so awkward...
I was so embarrassed for causing such a scene at his bloody parents house, I fled inside as fast as I could, without really speaking to him (yes, I admit, Iâm a coward).
I texted you right after I got a message from him just now, saying heâs on his way over, because âhe needs to talk to meâ...
Okay. Okay, maybe... If his family really is so narrow-minded, maybe you dogged the bullet?
He seems nothing like them, though. I really canât believe those people raised him.
Well, you wouldnât say me and my sister were raised by the same people, so I guess strange things happen.
Know that if he breaks up with you because you donât get along with his stupid parents, he doesnât deserve you anyway!
Normally, Iâd agree. But I donât know if that still goes when you call someoneâs mother âa vicious old hag, whose arrogance is only equal to her stupidityâ.
What the hell happened there?!
These are officially my last moments of dating a way out of my league-guy.
Well, I guess it was nice as long as it lasted. Might as well get it over with.
Iâm so sorry, Remus. I know you really liked this one...
Stay strong! Iâll have the chocolate ready!
With a sigh, Remus tosses his phone to the side and stands to get the door. Might as well get it over with, right?
When he opens the door to reveal Sirius, the positive thing is that Sirius doesnât immediately begin yelling at him. He doesnât even look all that angry, really. He just gives Remus a small, uncertain smile.
The negative thing is that Sirius looks bloody gorgeous. Heâs wearing an elegant coat, with a scarf loosely draped around his long neck and his hair is hanging loose. Before today, this would definitely be considered a positive thing, but not when Remus is just minutes away from getting dumped by this ridiculously handsome man. There should really be a rule against looking this good when youâre breaking up with someone, Remus thinks bitterly as he steps aside to let Sirius in his apartment.
As Sirius unbuttons his coat to reveal a fitted shirt showing off his lean, muscular form, Remus can only conclude that he has really been fooling himself by thinking this could ever last.
He shakes his head to stop himself from ogling his soon to be-ex-boyfriend. âWould you like something to drink?â He asks, trying to sound composed.
âNo thank you,â Sirius replies. âIâd rather get this off my chest immediately.â
Remus doesnât reply and stares at his feet to brace himself for the inevitable blow.
âI suppose you know why Iâm here?â Sirius asks, sounding a bit nervous.
Remus wonders vaguely if Sirius is concerned about hurting his feelings, even after his horrible behaviour of yesterday. âYeah,â he whispers. âI do.â
Sirius takes a deep breath. âMaybe I shouldnât have come, but I just had to at least tell you how sorry I am, even if you want nothing to do with me anymore.â
Remus just stares at him, trying to puzzle together what Sirius just said. Heâs sorry... about having to break up with Remus? But shouldnât he lead with the break up? And why would it be up to Remus to want nothing to do with him? Remus is not in a state of mind to deal with this. Canât Sirius just dump him already?
Sirius is getting more nervous as Remus continues to just stare at him. âSo I guess I just... offer you my apologies, and itâs up to you whether you want to accept them.â
âYouâre apologizing?â Remus asks.
âYou are apologizing to me?â
âYes, Remus,â Sirius says, sounding distraught. âBut donât worry, I donât expect anything from you. I know I donât have the right, after the situation I put you in.â
âI called your father an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse!â
Sirius frowns, like he doesnât understand why Remus would consider that an issue. âMy father is an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse.â
âNo! I mean, well... yes, but Iâm not supposed to say so, right?â
Sirius shrugs. âThey had it coming, didnât they? Iâm not gonna make excuses for them. I was just hoping you might still want to give us a chance?â
âYour parents hate me!â Remus splutters.
Sirius lets out a laugh. âThank God. If theyâd liked you, I seriously had to reconsider our relationship.â
Sirius runs a hand through his hair. âLet me explain. My parents,â he speaks slowly now. âAre awful people. Like, really awful people. I shouldnât have given in when they demanded to meet you, or I should have at least told you what theyâre like. Iâm so sorry I put you in that situation and exposed you to them without so much as a warning. I can understand if you hate me right now.â
âWhy didnât you warn me?â Remus asks, as he wouldâve much rather been spared the anxiety he has been feeling all day.
Sirius shrugs again. âI suppose I wanted you to form you own opinion? As their son, Iâm of course biased to hate them.â
Remus opens his mouth to say that is not how a parent-child relationship is supposed to work, but Sirius keeps talking.
âLook, Remus. You didnât sign up for dealing with my horrible parents, and Iâm sorry I dragged you into it. My family is... messed up, and I can understand if you want nothing to do with that whole mess. I wonât blame you if you just want to stay away from me and my family issues.â
Iâll do a whole lot more than deal with crappy parents if it means I get to be with you, Remus wants to say. I wonât judge you based on who your parents are, Remus wants to say. I wonât just abandon you, Remus wants to say.
What he says instead is âI purposely spilled a glass of red wine over your motherâs new couch!â
Sirius looks at him with a fond smile. âYeah, just when I thought I couldnât love you more.â
Sirius doesnât seem to realise what he just said, but Remusâ eyes widen. âYou... love me?â
Sirius flushes and starts stammering. âOh God, Iâm sorry! Not that I love you. I mean, look at you. How could I not? But thatâs way too soon, isnât it? And this is the worst timing! I mean, youâre probably super angry with me, and I donât even know if you still want to see me...â
âI donât mind!â Remus quickly says. âI mean, I think I rather like that you love me? I think Iâm very much starting to feel the same way?â
Sirius looks at him with a hopeful expression. âYou do?â
Remus chuckles. âCome here,â he says as he pulls Sirius towards him. âFor you, Iâd throw my wine over any piece of furniture your mother might own any day.â
Sirius smiles as he leans in to kiss Remus. âIn that case, canât wait till Christmas.â
Will regular milk do, or is this a triple chocolate with chocolate chips-type of situation?
Hates his parents, loves me, all good!