Hi MTV, welcome to the void

Part-time thespian🎭, full-time lesbian🌈👭 Jordan(she/they), 25

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

i am going to fucking choke i'm watching the new defunctland,

it's about the history of animatronics and the way that kevin read this quote has me dying like

THIS

THING

COULD

KILL

YOU

IF ROBO-LINCOLN MALFUNCTIONED YOU COULD BE NAUGHT BUT D U S T

~Marc Davis

[jungwildeandfree]

so this guy right he makes ancient egyptian themed furry costumes. he makes all kinds but mostly he specializes in Horus heads. it's his passion really. he loves to make the beautiful falcon head of the Sun God. anyway so he's at a con one day and he sees this whole bunch of people in middle kingdom dress with these indistinguishable animal heads. he's like. oh man these folks could really use a new source, i can hardly tell what animal those are! so he goes over and he says "hey guys! i see you are into ancient egyptian mythological themed furry costumes--if any of you are interested in being the radiant Son of Ra, I am the BEST in the business!"

and the group of people look at each other, then at him. awkward. finally one of them says: "uh. no thanks. we're all Set."

[s-cullayy]

[thatlittleegyptologist]

This has been sent to me four times today, so I'm condemning OP to be judged by the 42 and fall into Nuun.

[datundit]

I think every laugh will make OP’s heart a bit lighter.

@thatlittleegyptologist

Judge OP’s heart

I laughed, I lighten his heart.

His heart shall be heavier for this.

Voting ended onMar 1

[sunbentshadows]

[chronographia]

That tag looked so much like a bumpersticker that I went ahead and typeset it. And then I got carried away, and did two other variants because the point of having an arts degree is the ability to inflict colors and shapes on the world at large. Congratulations and my sincere apologies, @jungwildeandfree .

(Relatedly, 2.5 x 8 is a weird aspect ratio to fit text to, especially when it wants three line breaks for readability.)

[ensalada-de-lengua-de-pajaritos]

[crabs-and-bongos]

[lauralot89]

The Department of Fisheries in Hyderabad, India, is shaped like a fish.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

For those who needed to hear it today

[drhorsekiller]

[kosmogrl]

[curtvilescomic]

Absolute Wonder Woman by Nikola Čižmešija

[the-actual-ocean]

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.

[goldenretriever-boyfriend]

[tysonfurybattlepass]

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

[tysonfurybattlepass]

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

[aspiringsorceress]

One of worst things copaganda ever perpetuated is the rhetoric that if you aren't guilty of breaking the law, you shouldn't value your personal privacy against the state's surveillance and interrogation. That only guilty people hire lawyers when talking to police.

[cash4bees]

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

[homunculus-argument]

Besides the obvious like having financial security, being able to support your community and take care of friends and family, the whole "money doesn't bring happiness" bullshit is still bullshit because even if we only look at it from "buying frivolous trinkets" point of view, there's so many fun things I'd get myself commissioned just for shits and giggles.

For one, I'd get my dental layout scanned and then use the 3d model of my teeth to commission a giant pair of pincers where the cutters are replaced with a life-sized metal recreation of my teeth. I would use these to press bite marks on all sorts of things that a human being physically could not bite into, and emotionally would not want to.

For no other reason than to fuck with people. Just so they can see a very obviously human bite mark on something and wonder how the fuck did someone bite a goddamn brick wall, and why would anybody do that.

[wiskie]

“Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels 😇”

[sachermorte]

eternally painful that you can't socialize without people expecting you to talk. sometimes I just want to be around. like a cat

[godlessondheimite]

can anyone find the satiric newspaper headline that might have been something other than the onion that was along the lines of “‘This Is More Relevant/Timely Than Ever,’ Says Theater Company About to Put on Oldass Play Worse Than Has Ever Been Done Before”

[playwrongs]

[dogpuppy]

[animentality]