87 bees in a skin suit

Inconsistent at tagging. Queer. Sideblogs: passivelysad for cemetery photos, gayaxaspacecenter for Clay Terran space gay blogging

[dukebee]

A friend started a numbered list of her preferred form, and I am inspired to do the same.

the ether (not the old timey anaesthesia, the ether as in like just a general lack of corporeality)

Infra-sound - I want people in my presence to feel utterly haunted

an EMP - no electronics shall survive

a haunted painting in an aging manor house

a corvid with a monocle

a sentient toaster

a 12 foot home depot skeleton

Ditto (the Pokémon)

a guillotine

sea star, “best described as just a head crawling along the seafloor”

an exceptional bassline

More to follow? We’ll see…

[npdclaraoswald]

A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was

[onion-souls]

Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.

[onion-souls]

I made you a bibliography but I eated it :(

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I had a dream that I was a pe teacher but my gym class mainly involved an elaborate pantomime of schmendrick the great being forced to fight a dragon

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the most difficult part was dragging myself back into the gymnasium by my own collar after schmendrick chickened out and tried to flee the fight and molly grue had to drag him back to do his duty

most of the performance was just a slapstick routine of schmendrick trying and failing to psyche himself up for the fight… finally he resigned himself to it, walked up to the dragon (which he’d been avoiding clownishly), offered it a cigarette, looked around, noticed the age of the audience, and hastily replaced the cigarette with a container of tictacs.

this was the entire gym class. all the children sat in a ring on the floor and simply watched.

[dukebee]

My gym teacher for a few years was a unicyclist, this does just sound in the realm of a normal gym class experience to me

[petaltexturedskies]

I hope you believe that you can still make a beautiful life for yourself even if you lost many years of it to grief, or darkness, depression, or a wound that wouldn't close.

[bgm05]

I'm the ladder that stepped up

[rosieandthemoon]

Gwrych Castle in Wales

[screenshotsofdespair]

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

[disaster-magnet]

Theres currently some crows nesting on the building opposite us, and they still remember that we used to put out bird food years ago (had to stop because of too many neighbour complaints of loud jackdaws in the garden), and have managed to work out that they need a sneaky way to get food without alerting all the other birds.

This has had the consequence of me having to inform my flatmate that if he hears a polite knock at the kitchen window he needs to feed the crows or they WILL start trying to steal our cookbooks.

[disaster-magnet]

I wonder who could have done this. Surely not an innocent lil fella like this one

[nessimaki-deactivated20141106]

[dialupmodern]

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

[thecolorofthegame]

I know this trophy is supposed to represent a triathlon, but it looks like a cyclist award for attacking pedestrians

[dukebee]

@soaringsearingphoenix lads of misfortune?

[lemontongues]

one thing about me as a batman fan is that im not 100% convinced his penis works very good. im completely fine with fanfic where hes horny as hell and fucks like a machine and all that but in my heart of hearts im like. this man has erectile dysfunction.

like first of all theres the psychological aspect, in the sense that that man is stressed the hell out and traumatized and paranoid and juggling like 600% more in his head than the average person, which im told doesnt usually contribute to great boners. so there's that part. getting the man to put down his schedules and business concerns and the three different cases hes working on in the back of his head and the updates he wants to make to the batmobile and all that shit. that guy is Distracted during sex. he loses his boner at least once a session because he starts thinking about killer croc or something and yeah hes freaky but not really in that direction, sorry. this is a thing that happens to him and is a known phenomenon to his partners.

and then second of all physiologically im not convinced that he hasnt mangled his penis to some degree in the course of all the training and crimefighting and whatnot. like even taking extra pains to protect it as im sure he would, all of the times that man has been exploded and thrown through walls and glass and all of the jumping off of buildings and swinging around he does?? i simply dont believe his penis has emerged entirely unscathed. you absolutely cant tell me that in the early days he didnt at least twice take a running leap off of something, misjudge his landing, and absolutely destroy his balls when he slipped and took a wrought iron fence full force between the legs. this must have happened. i know it to be true that this man has scars on his dick that he didn't ask someone to put there on purpose and i do kinda think it could eventually affect his sexual function, even aside from the impact of all of his other various and perpetual injuries causing him pain.

so what im saying is that my headcanon is that batman's dick game is weak as hell at least 50% of the time. what that dick do? today, absolutely nothing. tomorrow, who knows. which tbh i find kinda hot in a roundabout way actually, so. love that for him. sorry about your penis, batman.

[bob-artist]

Brotherhood of The Orb

[bob-artist]

[pseudomantis]

the cambrian period was like 10 years ago

[toskarinarchive]

the cambrarin period was like 3 years ago

[magi-magi-tamamoland-chan]

the cambrian period is TOMORROW!!!

[van1llaskys]

[asthedeathoflight]

My favorite quirk of American English is that since we're constantly exaggerating, sometimes it's more intense to say something slightly less intense. Because like, it means you actually thought about it.

"you look great!" - normal. Anyone could say this. Could be true or could just be lying to be nice. Very normal expected thing to say to someone

"you look good." - gay as hell thing to say to someone.