I don't dance
But here I am
Spinning you 'round and around in circles
It ain't my style
But I don't care
I'd do anything with you anywhere
Yeah you got me in the palm of your hand, girl
'Cause I don't dance
Dukifer + "I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere."
Hello yes I heard there was an asking for pain.
In all honesty, Jennifer was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. She’d been in Haven all of a month and she’d seen things that she was sure would rattle a normal person, let alone someone who’s initiation into Troubled life involved thinking she was crazy for six months.
those relationships between characters where when one of them dies the other just completely loses themselves and is so angry and starts taking unnecessary risks and getting sloppy and careless when it comes to keeping out of danger and staying safe more like haha. why. haha why do that. haha why. why
Summary:Â Jennifer once told Duke that she had always wanted to see the green flash that occurs at sunset, so he takes the Rouge out into the middle of the ocean to show her one. (Spoilers for the first two episodes of season 5.) [ff]
Duke stood at the edge of the Cape Rouge, holding Jennifer in his hands. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he felt the cool sea breeze hit his face. He felt like he should say something. Anything really. But what could he say? What could he say that would make any of this seem okay? Nothing. Not to mention he was still uncertain of how his re-Troubling worked, how he was unsure if his tears would mean the death of an innocent person somewhere back in Haven. That coupled with how he knew if he spoke he would no longer be able to hold back the tears, led Duke to his only option for the moment. Silence.
He gazed down into the calm waters below him. Jennifer would love it out here tonight. The sun was just setting and the sky was a brilliant burnt orange color, the few clouds painting it with a gorgeous pink. Duke recognized the beauty, but couldn't bring himself to appreciate it. He felt betrayed by the sky, by the world. How could everything around him look so perfect when he felt how he did. Empty.
But that was the truth of the matter, wasn't it? Everything in the world just went on as always. Whether you felt it should or not.
Jennifer had once confessed to him that one of her life goals was to see the green flash that occurred at sunset. She had heard about it in movies and read about it in books, but had never actually seen it and was beginning to wonder if the whole thing was a myth. But Duke assured her that the phenomenon was real. He himself had witnessed it numerous evenings at sea. He told her there was not much else like it.
He promised her that one day he would take her out to the middle of the ocean and show it to her. They would make a long weekend out of it and just enjoy the peace of the open sea and each other's company. It was a promise he hadn't been able to keep.
Until now.
That is, if one decided this would count.
Duke knew the flash was coming soon. He gently opened the lid on the urn Gloria had given him containing Jennifer's ashes. She never said how she was able to go against protocol and get Jennifer's body cremated and he never asked. But he was grateful.
Just as he caught the first glimpse of green on the horizon, he tipped the urn and began to pour Jennifer's remains out into the ocean. By the time the green had disappeared from the sky, she was gone. Duke hadn't seen it today, but he hadn't wanted to. This wasn't his green flash. It was Jennifer's. He just hoped that wherever she was, she had seen it. And that it was everything she could have imagined.
As dark began to consume the world around him and Duke finally began to feel like his surroundings reflected what was inside him, he headed below deck. He didn't know what to do with the urn. Jennifer was no longer inside it, but it didn't feel right to get rid of it. It was a simple thing. A deep purple in color with a hummingbird lightly etched into it. It was so fitting, the hummingbird. Something so small and delicate in appearance, but in it's own way rather powerful and constantly in motion. Just like Jennifer.
He has no fireplace to put the urn on a mantle, like one normally would, so he settled for the bookcase. At least temporarily. She always liked being around books. He made sure it was secure and wouldn't topple over with the oncoming waves before collapsing on their bed.
No. Not their bed. His bed.
He began to lie down, only to quickly sit back up again when he felt something out of place hit his back. He reached behind him and pulled out Unstake My Heart.
She had it with her underneath the lighthouse, and when they recovered her body it was still inside her jacket pocket. He thumbed through the pages and caught a whiff of them, smelling like book, sea, and Jennifer. She had it with her so often those last few days, it had begun to smell like her.
He noticed that the pages were remarkably not damaged by being in the water for as long as they had been. Of course not. It's not like this book was a normal book.
He threw the novel across the room in a fit of rage. Why had some sort of magic intervened to protect the book, but not to save Jennifer?
As the book soared through the air, a small envelope that he hadn't noticed before fell out onto the ground about a foot from their-... from his bed. He slid off the bed to the floor and picked it up. The envelope was addressed to him. And it was addressed in Jennifer's handwriting.
Leaning back against the side of the bed, he slowly opened the envelope and choked back a sob. The card inside had a picture on the front from the Winnie the Pooh book. Pooh, Christopher Robin, and Piglet were looking over the side of a bridge, about to drops sticks into the river. Beneath the picture was a quote, also from the book. "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?"
Inside the card was a folded up piece of paper, which was covered with Jennifer's neat, tiny handwriting. It took Duke multiple attempts to read through the whole note, needing to pause and recompose himself to avoid tears, but eventually memorized every word.
Duke,
If you're reading this then... Well, then it's very likely I'm dead. Especially since if I manage to make it out of that lighthouse alive I plan on burning this, but I don't think that is going to happen. Truth is, I'm almost certain it's not.
I've been lying to you these last few days. A lot. I keep telling you that the book doesn't say anything else. It does. Truth be told, it's a fairly comprehensive guide to opening an inter-dimensional door, if not unnecessarily cryptic. I'm just scared of what it says. Terrified actually. But the more I see this town suffer, the more I see you suffer by taking back your curse and having to take a man's life, I know it has to be done.
The last page in the book says, "As the door closes, the Heart of Haven will disappear forever, as will the heart of the Child." I'm only able to interpret this one way. I'm not going to make it out of this alive. I've tried to tell you. So many times. But I know that if you know what I suspect, you won't let me do it. But I have to, Duke. You of all people should know I have to.
I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you're doing right now. What you've been doing since the moment I died until the moment you found this letter. You're beating yourself up. Blaming yourself because you are the one who brought me to Haven. Well, I'm telling you that none of this is your fault. You didn't just bring me to Haven. You saved me, Duke. You don't know what it's like not being able to trust the things happening in your own head. To feel like you're losing your mind. It's terrifying. You let me know that I wasn't crazy. And you helped me find my greater purpose in life. I was able to make a difference here in Haven. I was able to help people, just like you helped me.
Which is why I know that deep inside you understand why I hid this from you. I'm sure you're pissed at me right now. You're thinking that if I had told you, and Nathan and Audrey, that we could have worked together to find a different solution. Maybe we could have. But we don't have the time. This town is suffering. You are suffering. I just want it all to stop. I just hope that opening this door did what we needed it to do. I hope we were able to send William back to wherever the hell it is he came from, and that you were all able to get some hint as to how to stop the Troubles for good.
Even if William didn't give you any information on stopping the Troubles. You three will figure it out. You, Audrey, Nathan. You three make an amazing team and I was honored to be a part of that, even if it was only for a short while.
And know that I don't regret anything. Following you to Haven. Staying there with you. Dying there for the town. It was all worth it to have had those few short weeks with you. Every moment I spent with you was the happiest moment of my life. Whether we were hanging out at the docks playing Poohsticks or on the Rouge engaging in more physical activities, or heck, even the times we fought or were running around trying to solve Troubles, you made every moment last forever. And I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. It was all worth it to know what it was like to be loved as deeply as I was when I was with you. Because I love you, Duke. I really do. I don't know why I was too afraid to say it before. Maybe it was due to the fact that we only knew each other for a few months and I was afraid I'd scare you away saying things like that. But that doesn't make it any less true. And I know you love me. I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me and felt it on my skin every time you touched me.
(Do you know how weird it is to be writing about yourself in the past tense? Talk about acceptance.)
Please don't be afraid to love like that again.
Duke. Do me a favor. Make me a promise. Don't use my death as a reason to shut yourself away from the world. From Haven. From love. I really hope you can look back on the time we spent together and be happy about what we had. Not sad about the future we lost. You have a huge, beautiful heart, Duke, and the world needs it.
Love always,
Jennifer
There was one more message she left for him. Inscribed in the card that had been purchased blank inside. Another quote from Winnie the Pooh.
"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you." You'll be okay, Duke. Everything will be okay eventually. And as long as you want me there, I will always be with you.
Duke could no longer hold back the tears or be worried as to whether him crying was going to kill someone. Another life taken with the blood on his hands. He could only think about Jennifer.
She knew him so well. She knew exactly what he would be thinking at this moment. What he was thinking about doing. And what to say to make him feel guilty about doing it.
He used to context of the letter to figure out when she wrote it, but there was nothing in there to indicate how long it had been since she discovered the truth. How long she had known her time on Earth was running out. How long she had been sitting on this information without being able to tell any one. And she was right. He was angry with her for not telling him. He would have asked Audrey and Nathan to help them find a different solution.
And he did blame himself for bringing her to Haven. He felt selfish for thinking it, but he wondered if she was better off thinking she was crazy and being alive then being dead.
But he also understood why she did what she did. Why she made the decisions she had. He too had put himself in danger numerous times to protect this town and the people that he loved. It wasn't that long ago that he jumped into a dying barn with only the slightest hope that he might be able to save Audrey.
A part of him was almost glad that she wasn't alive to see the hell in the form of Mara that had come out of the open door. Even though it hadn't been her fault and there was no way she could have known what was going to happen, she would blame herself for unleashing that on Haven.
So he would do what Jennifer had asked. He would take the night to be by himself. To mourn her how he needed to. But tomorrow he would head back inland to Haven. To the Troubles. To Mara. He would do everything he possibly could to fix it and rid Haven of the Troubles for good. For Jennifer.
He clutched the letter close to his chest and whispered words he wished he could have said to her. "I promise, Jennifer. I love you too."
Important OTP question: which one sends cute good-morning texts and which one replies to them angrily because ‘it’s not even seven yet fuck off’?
Oh and in case you want to cry some more, here is the song and lyrics for the song they used during the dukifer montage:
Never understand
Never could be
Good but you know I try
To keep the future close
Closed up like a fist
You've been sleeping in the wild
Oh, the blackest wave
Was I swimming just to drown?
I have seen you in the world
I have seen you in my mind
Would you put it all at ease
Or make me feel uneasy
Cause I feel 25
And it never was that way
Something's changed inside my heart
And I'm unsure of everything
Holding sea salt in my hands
Don't you ever want to pour it out
30 Days of Dukifer
Day Fifteen: Favorite AU
Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop [x]
Okay so if you know me this shouldn’t be a surprise, my favorite au for them is a coffeeshop!au. I just really love it so much. The verse in general and especially this fic! And after everything that has been happening I just want to disappear into this au and never look back.Â
germansingergirl
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
yousharknotpass
snowghoul
