getting what i want after saying that’s exactly what i was going to do:
Me all 2019,2020,2021 to infinity
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$LAYYYTER
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we're not kids anymore.
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@dulcebrownsugar
getting what i want after saying that’s exactly what i was going to do:
Me all 2019,2020,2021 to infinity
5 Things I've Learned Since Starting This Lifestyle
1) Know when to compromise but never settle out of desperation when dealing with older, successful & wealthy men. Always have a better plan ahead in sight if you have limited options for the moment.
2) Save, invest & repeat. This will help you to avoid returning back to no 1 above in the future & settling for basic offers just to get by.
3) Don't bother trying to finesse stingy men instead keep your options open.
4) Wealthy men won't find you if you don't put yourself in their sights. Dress up & go where they hang out.
5) The law of attraction is real, you'll attract what you put out to the universe including your thoughts on men.
Wish you ladies the best!
Your Demeanor Speaks Volumes
At this point, you are confident, have a high self esteem, have strong financial goals, and are comfortable with what it takes to be a successful sugar baby.
Now, you need to play the part by exuding confidence and a high sense of self worth.
This is extremely important. If you don’t act like you deserve to be given money and spoiled, or even believe it yourself, you will be treated like you aren’t deserving of it.
You need to be outwardly confident in asking a sugar daddy for what you want.
Remember that as a sugar baby you are not being given money out of pity.
Rather, YOU are providing a service to your sugar daddy and you deserve to be compensated for it!
Having a confident demeanor sends a message to your potential sugar daddies that you know your worth and that you will not accept being lowballed. Periodt.
A confident demeanor comes into play as soon as you begin talking to your potential sugar daddies online, long before your meetup.
It’s important you exude self worth early in the process! This will actually help eliminate what we call “salt daddies” immediately.
You also need to have a confident demeanor when you first meet your sugar daddy in person.
Strong eye contact, bold voice, excellent posture. Body language often speaks for you.
After the first meet up, when you start talking about your allowance (payment on a weekly or monthly basis), or other types of compensation, this is where you will truly shine.
Before this point, you have already exuded so much confidence and self worth that you have made yourself deserving of a great allowance!
Now is not the time to be shy. You will state what you want your compensation to be, boldly. You aren’t asking, you’re telling! That is how you get what you want.
At this point, you should already know what your financial goals are. I will post more about how to calculate a fair allowance in the future 💕
Very important - if you want to succeed in being a sugar baby, you cannot operate from a place of desperation.
Successful sugar babies know we have options and we act like it, too. If you are desperate for money, it will show and it will turn off potential sugar daddies.
If you’re desperate, you are also more likely to accept being lowballed or lower your allowance. I can tell you right now that you will not win this way.
Like I said yesterday, sugaring is NOT sustainable as a full time stable living. You should already be working toward a career path.
Sugaring requires a lot of patience and self control before you get what you want. Sugaring is absolutely not for the desperate, so best get out of that mentality right now.
You will also not be able to negotiate your worth if you are ready to just accept anything. We never lower our standards just to get a daddy, EVER.
Takeaway points: Your demeanor must be confident. You must act like you know your self worth in order to earn it. Lacking outward confidence and being desperate will turn off sugar daddies and end in failure if not disappointment.
Tomorrow I will post about how to create an online profile - exciting! 💕
Questions? Leave a comment, message me, or send me an ask!
Image source: @hermajestyimher
How to have captivating conversations with successful men
On Tumblr sugar community I see a lot of posts about how you have to look a certain way to attract rich men and how to achieve that look. Being smart comes up here and there but I’ve never seen a detailed how-to post about it like the ones about appearance.
Honestly? I am quite lazy about my appearance upkeep (and I’m the first one to admit this is something I need to improve) and never had any problems getting successful men to fall for me. And they all say how charmed they are by my intelligence, and how fascinating it is to talk to me.
In my opinion, if you’re young and cute and have proper hygiene you’re most likely attractive enough for them to be attracted to you. Of course, the look is important, but here’s the thing; it isn’t a dealbreaker for men with money because a lot of it can be fixed by throwing money at it.
I’ve had a man who gave me 10k to be his date for a charity dinner. He spent another 10k on my look for the day. He had his assistant arrange everything: hair to pedicure, gown, shoes, jewelry, what have you. At that event, there was a girl who was a date to another man at the dinner. She was gorgeous. Possibly the most gorgeous at the table, but she didn’t know what NATO was. Everyone else at the table was engaging in conversations about international affairs and the girl just sat there, embarassed and visibly bored.
To spend money on you he needs to enjoy spending time with you and in order to enjoy spending time with you, he needs to enjoy talking to you. This is especially true if you’re taking the SGF route that requires a more genuine connection.
Sorry for long preface here are the tips~
I skipped the generic tips like keep eye contact, really listen to him blah blah blah… y’all probably already know that.
1. Absorb information
Documentaries, podcasts, books, what have you. The kind middle aged men are interested in and also the kind they aren’t, so you can get both “Oh she likes this stuff, too. Awesome” and “Wow that’s something I didn’t know of. She has her own unique taste. Cool.”
I will do a “podcasts I listen to as an SB” post, so that might be helpful.
2. Make that information your own and form your own opinions
If you just keep bringing up facts after facts, you’ll just sound obnoxious and you don’t want that. The knowledge you absorbed should be a tool for conversation, not the conversation itself.
3. You can have “bad” taste, but you must have a taste.
You can like things that aren’t liked by others. You don’t have to like all the “right” things. But you have to know what you like or don’t like and why, and be able to elaborate on it. If you can do that, they will not look down on you for liking the “wrong” thing. They respect you for being opinionated, and being able to stand by an unpopular opinion. For example, certain movies that I love are considered trashy by cinephiles as well as the general population. But I can go on and on about why I enjoy them. This pot sat across from me with his eyes sparkling in interest, as I went on a tangent about why one of the worst movies in this country’s film history is actually a cinematic masterpiece. He thought it was ridiculous, in a good way.
You know how it’s so cute when someone talks excitedly about something they are passionate about? That’s how your SD will see you and that makes him fall for you.
4. Stay rooted to your culture and heritage. Constantly learn more about it.
This is particularly important to me as an Asian SB whose target demographic is foreign expats, but it applies to everybody. If you’re conversing with someone from the same culture, you can bond over it, and with someone from a different culture you can share and enlighten. SDs often ask me why people here do certain things certain way, and I would tell them the history behind it, and they will be surprised. They will say that the domestic officials they work with here had not been able to explain them and instead said “idk we just do it” and they are supposed to be experts that run this country. If you can fulfil their curiosity, you will be interesting.
5. Don’t be afraid to change topics and be random
A lot of the times the reason people get stuck is because they are trying to stay on topic when it’s okay to move on to another. If he’s clearly passionate about a topic, don’t force the change and instead just listen and respond to him, but if the conversation stagnates, he obviously does not feel the need to talk more about the topic, so jump to another one. It can be unrelated to the previous thing you were talking about. One time I didn’t know what to talk about and then I saw a recycling bin outside so I said, “I recently watched a documentary about plastic recycling facilities…” and the conversation went from there. This is where #1 comes in handy.
6. Share anecdotes, the defining moments of your life. They don’t have to be real.
This makes them feel like they’re really getting to know you and getting closer to you. If you don’t have anything interesting or you just don’t want to share personal stuff with him, make something up. Make something up beforehand and repeat it a few times in your head so you can tell them naturally as if it’s true. Have several stories made up for SDs and pots.
7. Share future plans and aspirations. Again, doesn’t need to be real.
Same reason as above apply, and also, if your life is going nowhere, that can make you boring. Successful men are driven and they usually like people who are equally as driven. Also, if they truly are generous they will want to help, and even if the goal is fake you most likely still can benefit from it. I told my SD why I want to buy a house as soon as I can and exactly how I plan to do that, he was extremely impressed that I had such a detailed plan that actually makes sense, and offered to give me some money so I can have my planned deposit right now instead of having to keep saving till the end of next year like I planned, as well as use his connections to help me get a good deal with mortgage. (Imma get the other daddy to pay that mortgage let me tell you)
8. Sense of humor can be cultivated.
I love stand-up comedy and sitcoms. They do help with sense of humor and the jokes themselves come in handy when a situation relevant to the joke comes up. If it’s a common joke just steal it, if it’s not, you can say, “Comedian (insert name) said, (joke)” and it’s still funny and that’s what’s important. Also, inside jokes will make him feel really connected to you. Stay away from self-deprecating humor, though. A little bit can be funny but when it comes to SDs you want to maximize your value so don’t diminish that, not even for humor.
I am also guilty of stealing a lot of jokes I saw on Tumblr… lmao
9. It’s less about the topic itself and more about what you do with it and how you do it.
For example, weather is a very basic topic that can be pretty boring. But instead of monotonously saying, “It’s sunny today,” and leave it there, if you say “Oh! The sun is bright today! It makes everything look golden. Beautiful days like this makes me want to take a mini vacation to the beach. My grandparents used to live close to a beach and I used to make sand castles all the time with my grandpa. Nowadays I just lay in my bikini. Do you like beaches?” in an excited voice? Conveyed positive energy, shared a tiny piece of your childhood, got him to think about the image of you in a bathing suit, and asked a question to him to continue the conversation.
pro tip
Shopping With Your SD
So I just received an ask about tips for shopping with your SD, so I just decided to make a post about it.
Go for quality over quantity. Try and have him take you to a store like Barney’s, Bergdorffs’, Saks, etc. as opposed to “regular stores.” I love H&M, Forever 21, and Urban Outfitter too ladies, but I can buy that shit for myself. If I’m shopping with someone else’s money, I want the best, not the most.
First Priorities: Clothing for dates, things like expensive dresses, shoes, lingerie etc. and luxury basics, such as a perfect pair of jeans, perfect white T, leather jacket, etc. The date stuff is obviously useful for, well, going on dates, and usually your SD likes to see you in things he buys for you. The luxury basics, on the other hand, give you the most bang for your buck in terms of elevating your overall wardrobe, because you have those great pieces to build on. These items will be useful even if you SD left you the next day. You have the wardrobe necessary to get a new one fast, and those piece will last you for years to come. I would also include anything you NEED on this level of priority, so if you needed a new winter coat, make sure you get one.
Second Priorities: After getting a good base of date clothing and basics, next time he takes you shopping, aim for things you want but wouldn’t buy for yourself. For example, I do shop with my allowance, but would probably never drop a couple grand on a handbag or a pair of Loubs. But my SD might in addition to my allowance, so I’d get them then. This is also the time when you can buy more “trendy” items that you just want to have.
Jewelry is always a great option not because it’s practical, but because you can always sell it in a pinch for a high resale value.
On that note, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS keep tags, certificates of authenticity, and receipts, and put them someone you won’t lose track of them. It’s really hard to resell something for a good price without proof that it’s authentic, and authenticating something without that proof is really hard as well. In the case of selling things like designer bags, the difference in values is THOUSANDS of dollars.
Don’t stop until you get enough. Don’t worry about looking greedy. Your SD will let you know when he’s ready to stop. Remember, he brought you here to buy things, so don’t get too anxious about whether or not you can get something. He’ll let you know if you can’t.
Keep your SD involved. Shopping can get boring for SD’s and they don’t want to be made to feel like a walking credit card. So keep him involved! Show him what you try on, ask for opinions, always say thank you! Try to keep it fun for him, and then he’s more likely to want to take you again.
I don’t sell my body for money. I sell my time, companionship, wit, beauty, intelligence, conversational skills, hand holding assets, shoulder to cry on capabilities, nicest lingerie, sweetest perfume, sassiest smile, wrinkle-in-the-nose-laughter. I don’t sell my body for money. I retain full ownership of my body no matter how much money is in my hand.
And everyone would do well to remember that.
what to say to a salt man when he tries to call you a prostitute/escort
Men Expect You To Be:
-Physically Fit
-Beautiful Hair
-Manicured Nails & Feet
-Shaved
-Well-Dressed
-Kinky
It’s Wrong For A Woman To Expect:
-Gym Membership Money
-Hair Salon Money
-Nails Money
-Laser Treatment Money
-Shopping Money
-Lingerie Money & Sex Toy Money
We’re not asking for anything different, we just prefer it to be mandated and a routine basis. I will not cook for a man who is not willing to give me grocery money, Do I take pride in being hoe? Hell yes. I am compensated even when I’m disappointed.
You don’t know the beauty in having horrible sex with a man, seeing him smile, and then he gives you money for terrible sex. IF YOU DON’T KNOW THAT FEELING DON’T JUDGE. Seeing men’s reactions when they see I have a high standard and I actually know my beauty. Priceless. Men and their delusions.
SUGAR GOALS 2018
As the new year approaches, I’m making a new list of sugar goals I’d like to accomplish.
Here are a few of mine:
•3 consistent daddies (currently 1 & a few travel daddies)
•accept monthly allowances only!! (no more PPM with these travel daddies🙄🙅🏾♀️… well can be negotiable for the right price😝🤑)
•multiply my designer pieces — I wanna add a Chanel to the collection!!
•new high rise apartment — rent paid off for a year!
•pay off my car note or get me a new foreign car — PAID for!!
•new boobs!! & smaller waist!! — just $7K🤔
•travel more! — Mykonos, Almalfi Coast & Iceland are on the list for the year
•SAVE 50% my sugar money! — I only saved 15-20% with every amount received, I need (& can) save more!
Tell me yours and let’s all get to the money in 2018!
🤑💰💳💵💸💴💶💷
Cries in "I'm a good woman, pick me tears....
Her clapback was iconic
Honestly, whoever recorded that video looks crazy and jealous as hell. if they had someone with long money buying them expensive items they wouldn’t have been able to afford on their own, they would not complain at all. Even if she was actually a sugar baby, what does that have to do with you?
It’s jealously I think. According to her, she has six figures worth of gifts and spending money from her boyfriend/sugar daddy. The guy filming her had no right, I’m glad she found out who it was especially if they don’t know each other
Goals bih!!! And for the wack nigga recording, get your money up bro! Why are you in the Louis Vuitton store watching what someone else is doing?! Shouldn’t you be shopping too 🤔
GET 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾 COINS 👏🏾 SIS 👏🏾
i was 14 and i was walking through a mall by myself at 12am after my shift at coldstone creamery lol and a bunch of men started whistling and meowing and getting really close to me and they kept asking me questions and i kept not answering until i didn’t know what else to do so i said “i’m only 14” and almost in unison they said “we don’t care” i was so fucking scared i didn’t know what to do and they kept talking about how i looked and how my body looked and what they would do i was on the verge of tears i was all alone in a huge mall i knew i couldn’t outrun them all i felt totally hopeless until a maintenance worker came up to all of us with a huge industrial broom in her hand, i thought she was going to yell at all of us for being in the mall after hours bc she probably thought we were all friends but instead she cursed all of them out in spanish, threatened to press a panic button on her belt and then proceeded to walk me to the basement garage and waited with me until my mom got there to pick me up she had a death grip on her cart the whole time and a face of steel she looked so strong and i just kept saying thank you and she kept saying not to thank her because she had to stop them.
that was the moment i realized women were the most important beings on this planet and we have to protect each other bc nobody else is going to, she didn’t even know me, we couldn’t even communicate that well because of the language barrier, she could have lost her job for waiting with me in the parking lot but she looked out for me when she didn’t have to, she had nothing to gain from it, i’m 21 now and i tell everyone this story even though it happened 7 years ago, what she did that night helped me form and shape lot of my beliefs early on.
i was at a grocery store really late one night and some old guy kind of eyed me as i walked out of the store next to this other lady. She and I made eye contact and i knew she was scared too. we loaded up our groceries into our cars as fast as possible and I had way more bags than her so she got done faster than me. I panicked because i was sure she was going to leave so i just hurried faster, shaking a little, and then i noticed she sat in her car, watching me and making sure nobody came near. She waited not until all my groceries were loaded, or until my cart was put away, or until I got into my car. No, she didn’t drive away until I drove away.
And that was the moment that I realized how much women need other women. That we can’t win this war without each other and we have to be looking out for each other, every second.
my last year in new york city, i got off the subway around 9 or 10p.m. i only lived about 5 blocks from the f train, but i hadn’t gotten more than two before a woman’s hand suddenly touched my arm.
“that guy behind us is following you,” she said. “he was watching you leave the train car and followed you up.”
i hadn’t noticed him, or at least not noticed him following me. when we stopped outside a grocery store, he stopped half a block back and loitered. the woman linked her arm with mine and walked me several blocks out of her way to my front door and made sure i got inside safely.
another time, nocigar and i were walking home and at a stoplight a stranger grabbed my arm when i wouldn’t respond to him and tried to physically drag me over to him. she—who is, by the way, not a very physically imposing girl—ripped his hand off my arm and snarled, “don’t fucking touch her.”
protect your friends. protect strangers. there are good men in the world, but don’t wait for them to do something if you can do it yourself.
I was at a club once and my friend left with her boyfriend so I finished my drink and was heading out to the parking lot when three girls came up to me and basically surrounded me.
“Those guys behind us were talking about following you. We can walk with you.”
I have MMA training but have never in my life had been offered the protection and sanction of my own gender. This is so important.
GIRL CODE. FUCKIN’ GIRL CODE. LEAVE NO GIRL BEHIND. EVER.
Say dat 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾😆😆😆
Ayyyeee👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😫😂👌🏾
🗣 BLOOP
the “bad bitch mentality”👑
- don’t settle. ever. whether it’s people or things. know your worth.
- don’t be catty or messy. focus on yourself. getting into fights and having beef with other women/people is really tacky.
- being a bad bitch doesn’t mean you’re mean. keep it cute and be polite and respectful, even to those you don’t necessarily don’t care for. being rude is corny.
- pamper yourself always. keep yourself up, look good for your own damn self.
- don’t let anybody waste your time bc it’s precious and contrary to what you may think, you don’t have much of it.
- YOU are your best support system. take care of yourself. be your #1 supporter.
- as a woman, you are often told to see other women as competition. stop thinking that way. look at the beauty in other women, and soon you will start to see beauty in yourself. build healthy relationships with women. sisterhood is so important.
- do not prioritize a man over everything else. a man is not your world. he just lives in it.
- success is the best revenge.
- don’t catch feelings for just anybody. your love and care is sacred,and for you to take it there with somebody, they gotta earn that shit. don’t fuck with anybody who doesn’t respect you and see your worth. stop fucking around with bum ass people that don’t give af about you.
- don’t let ANYBODY disrespect you. don’t take shit from anybody.
- don’t let anybody play you like you’re stupid. trust your gut, if you feel like you’re getting played, trust your instinct.
- you’re not only that bitch, but THE bitch. 💋
Bad bitches stay hydrated 🎯
Bad bitches take vitamins 💅🏼
Bad bitches never sleep with their makeup on 💅🏼
Bad bitches exfoliate
So…
The other day I had to meet with my esthetician for a microdermabrasion appointment ($200), get my brows threaded ($20 plus tip), and get my lash extensions completely redone ($300). I spent $500+ on my appearance in one day. Today I have to meet with my nail tech for a fill in ($20), then I have a consultation for Volbella and preventative Botox, and I’m getting a second laser hair removal treatment for my 😽 (if anyone is interested, $250/session is the discounted rate for new customers at my doctor’s office right now, but tbh they can be as much as $500/session for the Brazilian depending on your area, and most women need about 6+ sessions for the results to be permanent, so do the math). The point is, yeah, it gets expensive, but maintenance is crucial for those of us who are longtime spoiled gfs, fiancées, and trophy wives living with our daddies. There’s no room for complacency just because you think you secured the bag and got the man. Maintaining the illusion of perfection costs time and money, and it’s (his) money well-spent. This world is highly competitive and extremely superficial, so yeah, you kinda need to fix yourself up 💅🏽. Remember how you got him.
Do you want him to trade you in? Obviously not. Do you want him to get tired of fucking you? No! You want him to keep paying that tuition, buy you that cute leather Gucci Dionysus bag, and put you on his life insurance policy!!!
Invest in yourself. It pays! It’s like insurance 💕
EDIT: even if it’s as simple as regular teeth whitening, at home facials, and deep conditioning your hair every week, put some effort into looking your best. I’m not saying you need to start pumping your body full of plastic and fillers just to keep a man. I’m just saying there’s always some cute girl somewhere trying to snag herself a sugar daddy. Don’t let it be yours!