Eurovision 2k16: Graham Norton's Best Bits
“I’m a bit like cheap wine, I don’t travel very well.”
“This is the annoying bit where I speak over people speaking English. I say this every year, I’M SORRY.”
“He’s put €1000 on himself to win, so I hope he’s not going to need that money for tattoo laser removal later in life, because I think he’s going to lose it.”
“Ugh. Flaming towers.”
“You don’t need to worry about Freddie, viewers. If he doesn’t do well, he always has that Hotel Management degree.”
“… You have three backing singers who on their CV must have said they were also backing dancers. They lied.”
“I did read a press release. But… I didn’t understand.”
“Sometimes his hoop lights up. Sometimes it doesn’t. It’s temperamental like that.”
“That was tense. That amount of sparks and that amount of hairspray… Never a good idea.”
“She’s invested in some lovely light-up knee pads, which are great for gardening at night, I suppose. Who knows what she gets up to.”
“Now, forgive me, ladies and gentlemen, maybe it’s because I’m old and grumpy, but there’s not a single thing about this woman that doesn’t annoy me.”
“They obviously had a very lengthy meeting on costume and set design, and they liked every single idea.”
“Again, don’t worry about him. Because he is in fact… A trained dentist.”
“Enjoy that smile, it’s the last one you’ll see from him. He doesn’t seem to enjoy performing very much.”
“From one of the best songs in the competition… To Cyprus.”
“The band is called Minus One, but maybe if it was minus five it might be better.”
“Don’t worry, we still have fourteen more songs to go!” "She says that like it’s a good thing.”
"The band performs in cages. I’m not sure who’s being protected, them or the audience.”
“There is a strange backing dancer. It looks more like lurking than choreography but he is meant to be there.”
“I feel like the backing singers may be under witness protection.”
“He’s spoken out against homophobic laws in Russia, he’s talked about the Ukraine, and if that’s not enough, he has a bakery where he makes food for dogs, called Poodle Stroodle.”
“He deserves points just for singing while climbing a wall.”
“She is five months- No, I don’t know that… I don’t know how many months pregnant she is! I don’t know!”
"It’s a wall of noise. It’s not for me.”
“Lots of people are asking if they can vote for the American entrant. Just a reminder, Justin Timberlake was a special guest; he hasn’t fallen on hard times.”
