flop til u drop

[tooies]

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

[fandaniel]

what the fuck

[fandaniel]

been in my head for days

[sealcontent]

a little-known scientific curiosity is that if you bring a bag of milano cookies into your household, none shall remain by nightfall

[halondrus]

[cutecipher]

can you put that thing on a leash?

[halondrus]

ok

[lettherebedragons]

This is a very specific vague.

[grunkypeep]

i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless

[cannedviennasnausage]

#shark skin is actually covered in tiny barbs #aka teeth #they are literally a swimming tooth

I suddenly have the urge to grate cheese on a great white

[flanoirbunny]

wouldn’t that make the shark a

grate white

[shutupandtalkgeekytome]

This post got weird

[jennytrout]

This post started with fucking hairless sharks. Weird wasn’t a destination so much as a jumping off point.

[captainclickycat]

I’ve never been so surprised not to encounter the word “smooth” in a text post

[the-final-sif]

Smooth shark post happened circa 2017, this post occurred in 2013 (posted) + pun added and 2015 (Jennytrout enhancement), years before smooth sharks would be discovered and revealed to the public.

[charl0ttan]

Out-of-place artifact - Wikipedia

[sealcontent]

there’s a gay guy who works at the local vegan chain restaurant i frequently go to and we love to give each other guff

today a new woman was ringing me up and he ambles over

him to her: don’t forget to add the extra charge 😌

me: oh you mean the baddie surcharge? 😌

[cat-source]

[sealcontent]

sometimes u just have to eat a whole goddamned Thing of cookies. it is in fact important not to do that every night but some nights it’s just gonna happen and you cannot punish yourself for this. instead you must simply say to yourself “it was just that kinda evening.”

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[paranormal-taters]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

[fnordseer5]

ambivalent beach boys: would it be nice?

[monarcho-mysticism]

passive aggressive beach boys: well wouldn't that be nice.

[sealcontent]

now i don’t throw the word orgasmic around lightly but the sandwich i just made and consumed

[consolecadet]

You can’t just post this and not tell us anything about the sandwich…ingredients?? Recipe? Point of purchase? Picture??

[sealcontent]

i fear that we are long past the point of photographic documentation, my friend. that bitch is obliterated. but i shall paint you a word picture

the exquisite frame:

~artisinal~ multigrain from local bakery (toasted) (<- IMPORTANT)

mayo

stone-ground mustard

the refreshing greenery:

big fat juicy slices of fresh tomato

some crisp rings of fresh yellow onion

handful of old and slightly wilted but still fine spring mix

the piece de resistance, arguably chiefly responsible for the aforementioned orgasm:

baked chicken thigh from last night, seasoned with onion powder and paprika, cut into succulent pieces right off the bone

[sealcontent]

now i don’t throw the word orgasmic around lightly but the sandwich i just made and consumed

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You can only drink the drink you get from this wheel for a month!

https://wheelofnames.com/uh3-8jf

how're you feeling?

Great!

okay, I could do it

okay, I couldn't do it

dead

horrible

im allergic/intolerant

Results

Voting ended onApr 9

[sealcontent]

was over at my mom’s and walked past her bedroom and glanced inside and did a double take and was like “… i’m not seeing what i think i’m seeing”

but indeed i was

her cat archie had somehow wriggled himself into her pillowcase and was chilling inside with his head sticking out like a snail

[the-beard-of-edward-teach]

Hawaiʻi is currently in the midst of a natural disaster if you didnt know

Apparently there isn’t much news coverage of this outside of the islands

Towns are flooded, homes destroyed and collapsed, roads collapsed, lives at risk, gas leaks from the flood damage

Haleiwa and Waialua are currently evacuated because the 120 year old dam is at risk of bursting

Mind you that damn is owned by Dole. Theyve known about it needing to be fixed for years and years and years. Despite having more than enough money they refuse

The state has been trying to buy it out from them for years so they can fix it, but the sale hasn’t gone through

Keep in mind that the Dole family were the ones who illegally imprisoned Queen Liliuʻokalani and illegally overthrew the monarchy.

If I see another goddamn person say how sad this is for the tourists whose “trips were ruined” and compare a messed up vacation to people losing their homes, belongings, and livelihoods, I’m going to lose my mind

I am so lucky that my family or friend’s are safe and the few whose houses flooded didnt have it too bad, but so so so many were not as fortunate

If you haven’t heard anything about this until now, I suggest looking into it

The sirens didn’t go off until the flood had been going on for hours. Our state government is spending so much money on a fucking monorail we don’t need rather than fixing the infrastructure.

It’s been the locals and Kanaka doing the most to help get people to safety from the start

I don’t really know how to end this

I just need to know people are aware

I need to know people are seeing whats happening

[queen-mihai]

People will see it now

[thekidsfromyestergay]

This was on a post about how it's ignorant and privileged to wear headphones in public and I fear its already become a part of my vocabulary. Must everything harbor a moral failure.