funny text posts.

a collection of funny text posts, audio, video, and images made by real tumblr users. simply A+

[babylandbrat1-deactivated201512]

[abhortion-deactivated20131214]

movies based off books are bad but books based off movies are so much worse

[swimmingpoolmp3-archive]

and this is a piece of performance art called “i take everything personally”

[funnytext-posts]

me: hello there brain, can we please have a good day today?

brain: hey listen buddy go fuck yourself

[shaklra]

my aunt gets a little too wild sometimes

[funnytext-posts]

me: please don't panic and overanalyze things again

brain: how bout i do a n y w a y

[melaninhoe-deactivated20180111]

[sunnystrong]

what do you think of girls who wear makeup to the gym?

That depends on what they’re doing. If she’s busting her ass on the treadmill for an hour, then I’ll think “damn I wish I had her endurance and patience”. If she’s lifting heavier weights than most of the guys in the weight section, I’ll think “wow that girl is strong”. If she’s climbed like 60 flights on the stair master, then I’ll prob think “I wish I had that quad strength”. If she’s done working out and her makeup still looks flawless, I’ll prob ask her what setting spray she uses or what she uses to contour bc damn check out that highlight. 

[funny-pictures-uk-deactivated20]

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[rlckrolled-blog]

Panic! In front of the cute boy

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[donutcats]

me: [does something questionable or unhealthy] lol 

friend: [does something questionable or unhealthy]

me: Mom Friend Mode™ Activated

[funnytext-posts]

Boy: i love you

Girl: thank you

Boy: i love you so much

Girl: thank you so much

[pastabot]

today is not my birthday

[pastabot]

reblog if your birthday is not today

[petitetimidgay-deactivated20240]

i’m so cool and loveable and yet so single what’s up with that

[deadwwwwhhhit-blog]

39 mega pixel photo of a burger

[pyreclaws]

I can see the goddamn cell walls in the onion holy fucking shit

[wacnordo]

wait a sec is that

a hair in the cheese

[vizmedium]

oh my god is that

a doge in the hair

[claimedlnd]

WAIT

What is this.

In the doge’s eye

Could it be?

I THINK IT IS

Oh my days there iS A BURGER IN THE EYE OF THE DOG IN THE HAIR IN THE CHEESE IN. THE. BURGER.

[starshapes]

THAT’S A WHOLE LOTTA HOOPLAH